Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Cranky Pants

Several bad dreams and a nightmare last night kept me tossing and turning most of the night. I dreamed about being caught in some mass shooting with my daughter and that was the nightmare. I guess with all that is going on in the world and how I feel about it, this was unfortunately in my subconscious. As the night turned into morning, I had fewer terrifying dreams and more weird dreams I can’t recall.

My alarm went off and I physically just did not feel well. I decided to sleep another hour but then I got a phone call filled with confusion from my mother. I had to call my father back to figure out it was just her jumping the gun about something and trying to micromanage a situation that didn’t need her interference. Whoosah.

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning weather wise and I want to improve my mood so I can enjoy the rest of the morning and day. I am going to a symphony in the park this evening. I need, per my Spirit, caffeine free coffee, cool water, and quietness this morning to help me physically. So, here I am sipping coffee, lightly iced water, quietness, and sharing. I feel the need to choose my breakfast wisely. Very little sugar. The TV is off. I decided not to go to service and I decided not to listen to it right now via internet. I will listen to it tomorrow morning. I’ll probably do some yoga to help further ground my spirit and body.

As I sit here typing, I think about how the first 18 years of my life were probably ruled with loud and chaotic mornings. I say probably because I don’t know about when I was an infant up until 5 or 6 but I definitely recall school mornings from elementary until high school being that way and every Sunday morning. Loud, chaotic, and stressful. I know this is why I like to start my mornings with ease. It wasn’t until my 30’s I started changing the pattern of getting up a little early to savor peace and quiet before my daughter got up and before heading off to work. It is why I can’t stand rushing. It creates the rattled, unsettling feeling and makes for an even more hectic drive with traffic. When I arrive at my destination, I don’t like having to “get my mood together” or having to switch from negative energy to fake positive energy. I saw that growing up, too. Instead, I tell you “My ride here was stressful. Give me a minute to settle down.” Or if asked, “Why are you so quiet this morning? Why aren’t you smiling?” I tell the truth. “I need a minute to settle down/in. Rough morning or night.” I feel better being as honest as possible without telling my business. I feel better not having to pretend. Some people let their morning dictate their morning and entire day. I was some people and occasionally I am still some people lol. But it was Steven Covey CDs, “The 9 Habits of Highly Effective People”, that helped me to understand my mood doesn’t have to dictate my weather (day) or how I treat people.

~Nikki