Now that I have made the final decision to break away from my home church until further notice, the process of that breaking away continues. I say continue because the process started a year ago with thoughts and some actions. The pandemic really saved me from having to go but, this year it’s been a mostly not there to a “need be basis”. This morning I felt guilt for not going but, why did I feel such guilt? I know it’s because that is what the church has used to pull in people and to keep people. By enlarge. It’s not wrong for me to want to be fed good, wholesome, prepared spiritual food and not to settle for anything less. It is good to know that I am in a position to feed myself and others. I am growing my own garden. I have been all along. It’s also good to know there are others that are qualified spiritual chefs and cooks I can get a plate or meal from.
This “ministry”, if you can call it that, I am creating is different than the traditional brick and mortar, fire and brimstone. Although, I have a Christian background and foundation, I am built from spirituality, research, wisdom, and life experiences. I am not ridged in my thinking but, I am not flimsy either. There have been many pioneers before me that have branched out into the “light” and some were cut off from the very religion that launched them.
No one can do what you do, how you do it. No one has your personality or experiences. No one has your energy. No one has your thought process or habits. I know that I am dragging my feet. I know that I am scared out of my wits and I should embrace that with a bear hug. I joined TikTok as @nikkisconfettilife to get use to hearing my voice and creating short snaps of video with positive content. I must say I like it. I am yet to follow instructions on my YouTube channel because I don’t like the quality of video from my camera and I really am not comfortable watching myself. The two excuses that do not hold water.
One thing I was obedient about was taking a class this week on Creative Teaching through the association of my old denomination. It was a really good class with information and ideas I can apply to what I am embarking on. It also reminded me that I DO have a gift and a passion for teaching. Teaching Sunday School and teaching the congregation was my favorite thing to do. The entire process of studying and gathering, verifying information was something I enjoyed. It was the helping people to understand, be encouraged, or enlightened that meant the most. Basically, you understood what I was trying to convey or you got something helpful from it. That is my only aim with the YouTube channel. To help someone.