I look out onto the porch this morning. It’s nice outside with the overcast of clouds. The weather is much cooler and welcomed. Yesterday we had the homegoing celebration of my godmother. Also, this week 3 more people I know passed away from Covid. I found out about one this morning as I logged onto social media. I have no more words this morning.
What do you say? Sometimes you just can’t process everything in life given to you in wave after wave. Before you can wrap your mind around one thing here comes something else. We are in a period of life where being overwhelmed seems to be happening even to the “strong” and the highly spiritual.
I may have no words this morning. Nothing prominent to say, I don’t think. Yet, I type these “words” but, to me they are just thoughts. They are just expressions of my feelings this morning which can change by this evening as I come into more understanding. As I may hear or read something or do something that makes the mood better. I ignore the fibromyalgia pain in my feet and calf. I can’t think about all the sadness in the world, in my world, yet I feel the heaviness in the atmosphere.
Sometimes you have no words. I remember one morning, years ago when I was having trouble with my child’s father, I was so angry on my way to work I tried to pray. I tried to pray but, I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know what to pray for because the level of anger and rage I felt was not my normal. I was crying on my way to work. As the sun creeped up, I kept searching for words to pray and I just blurted out, “God, I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I want to pray. I don’t know what to pray.” And I recall that Spirit intercedes for us. So, I asked Spirit (Holy Spirit in my religion) to pray for me. This morning, as I stood at the door looking onto the porch. I just asked Spirit to pray, to intercede on my behalf because I have no words to describe all that I feel.