Growing up both of my parents were pretty healthy parents. I remember an occasional flu or a minor surgery. I can’t say I know what it is like to have to “deal” with an ill parent at a young age. I don’t know for sure how much it affects the child later on in life but, I am certain it makes a world of difference what the illness is and how the parent themselves handles the illness or disease. If the parent is any parent at all, they naturally carry a bit of guilt for being sick.
My daughter is 16 and it was seven years ago when Rheumatoid Arthritis Disease came out of remission and imploded into our lives. She was 9. I pushed on five years after that working, being a mom (because well you can’t stop doing that) and my daughter has always been the most caring and concerned child through this ordeal. And I have tried my best to make sure the unpredictability of RA doesn’t take a toll on her childhood as much as it takes a toll on my body and life.
When RA first resurfaced, we didn’t know what it was. I remember waking up one morning with the Holy Telit across the foot of my bed laid there by my daughter. I remember when I had to have surgery twice, she was ready to do her part. Through my crappy attitude at times and unbearable mood swings, she has learned to either let me know or just stay out the way. I have often, come back to apologize and try to make sure it doesn’t happen too often because I don’t believe you can use your pain as an excuse to be mean to others! But, it does happen unintentionally sometimes. You have to be the type of person that is reflective of self and responsible for your behavior. That takes deep commitment to being the best you, you can be and a whole lot of Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, Creator, etc in my case.
Yesterday, she took care of her mother. It was almost like she was prepared because she knew I had a class where I would have to use my hands and sit for some time. I didn’t ask her to do anything. She just stepped right in. I have to say, I have been blessed with a good daughter. I hope I am being the good mom. I hope I have been the good mom before RA came into our lives.