The Spirit can not speak to you when you’re hysterical. If you’re acting crazed or frantic, in the movies they would slap you back into reality. (I always wanted to be in that scene so I could say “Get a grip” while shaking the person). Hysteria is beyond a slap or reasoning. You’re not hanging on the cliff of your thoughts. You’ve let go. Your thoughts are now your reality and in your MIND it’s really happening as you see it.
Last night, I was hysterical. When a person is hysterical it’s like watching a wind up toy shake sporadically and buzz noisily going nowhere. It dies down and when you touch it it just might have a little more buzz and movement left.
The entire time I’m hysterical, God didn’t answer any questions and didn’t provide any comfort. Hysterical people ask question and refute your rational answers. You try to hug them or hold them and they fight you or pull away. God or Spirit just let me wind down. I went to sleep đź’¤.
I woke up in a decent mood to a sunny Sunday morning. I’m now sipping French roasted coffee. And Spirit speaks:
Nikki, I love you. I’m sorry your circumstances, combined with unexpected situations yesterday, your physical issues and the news I gave you sent you seemingly over the edge. But you asked a question I felt like you needed to know the answer to. I knew you would feel and think the way you did so I just let you be. It wasn’t a good time for us to talk but, I was there of course.
I hope you enjoyed the dream I gave you in which you traveled to New Orleans. You were having FUN and I made sure it was filled with vibrant colors and vibrant energy. Did you see the beautiful fabrics you were going to buy? I wanted to show you reality and get you to feel it.
Last night, you were out of control and I’m not upset about it at all because no harm was done. I’m glad you went through that illusion. Like the hall of mirrors in a so called funhouse. Things can get strange in there. Moving stairs to throw you off balance and make you stumble. Creepy clowns and mazes. I had to wait until you came out.
Now that it’s morning I want to tell you there is a time to go with the flow and there is a time to go against the current. When you discover you’re drastically off your life course it can be an overwhelming feeling as you look at how far you have to go to get back there and how much time you think you’ve wasted. Your arms (your mind) gets tired. You get exhausted. Rational: This is too much. I’m tired. Frustrated. I need to rest. Hysteria: This is too much. I’m never going to be able to do it. I’m tired. I may as well let go. Don’t try to save me but save me. I should save myself. Look at all the people ahead of me. I was too weak to be like them. Why did this happen to me. Why did I do this to myself. I’m dying. I’m dead. Go on without me. Leave me be. I’m dead.
There you were spinning. You spun out. Now we can keep going until you get back to start because this is what you’ve chosen because you need an understanding of what happened so you can heal. You can also choose to let all that go and start where you are. Either way the time will be the same because in the universe flow as you said yesterday, there is no time! There’s no shame in needing an understanding of the trauma and how it affected you. Infected you. I needed to tell you that you were set on this course by that person at an age you didn’t know how to manage it, handle it, it’s like, picking up a wobbling toddler headed to home which she can see familiar faces and turning her around to the forest. She survives by wondering, barely escaping danger, growing up, forgetting the memories of home until reminded in her dreams and feelings in heart: I’m not suppose to be here. But here is familiar. I’ve learned alot here. But I don’t like here. And now you are grown and you are going home. Home… Where you were going in the first place. You just had a moment of hysteria while crossing the river. It took you a little further than you wanted to go. Dry off. Have coffee. You still got your lessons. Go on. Flow ahead. More lessons on the way. Count this one as a lesson. Lessons can be used anyway you choose.
~Nikki
See my blog Zen Flow Universe to see the truth that was revealed that pushed me over the edge to hysteria.
Nikki's Confetti Life 