We could blame the way we are on our personalities saying “This is just the way I am or I have always been “that” way. If “that” way has gotten in the way of jobs and relationships maybe you should think about getting to the root of “that” way. WHY are you the way you are?
You could blame your parents, your childhood, your past experiences, and your illnesses. When it comes to some of our negative and damaging ways, it’s not so much about who’s fault it is as much as it is about who’s responsibility it is to change those ways. You are not a dog and you can be taught new tricks. Instead of assigning blame which gives us a way to justify our behavior or relieves of us of responsibility, I propose the idea of citing these things or people as sources. They are the root causes branching out into our thoughts, actions, and words. What are the “sources” of my behavior? What are the “sources” of my feelings and thought patterns?
It is a matter of will, choice,and work. Real work. A real look at the source but, the real WORK begins in the effort to change those thoughts which will change those feelings and replace those actions with new and improved actions. The work is NOT easy. Sometimes help has to come from a spiritual figure or professional help to assist you in the unravel of those tangled roots and put new tools in front of you. This overhaul is a long haul and can take years to improve. I’m still untangling roots!! I don’t want to keep producing spoiled and rotten fruits in my life. I want to cut the root that produces the bad fruit.