Do you know what’s important to have in this life but, can also be quite difficult to find? True friendship. Good, quality friendship. Quality friendships matter just like a quality relationship with a significant other matters or good, quality family relationships. Good friendships are good for your health. Heck, they can help you deal with the latter two when they are not so great.

We want friends we can celebrate the good times with but, we also want friends who can be supportive in bad times. If you don’t know how to be supportive to a friend in bad times, there is plenty of information out there to help you to figure out what to do. And sometimes, we have to give our friends grace because they may not know how to approach your situation. People do not know how to deal with emotions or situations like you see on T.V. or read in books or how you would.

You don’t have to have an entourage of 20 best friends. One or two quality friends will do. If you do not have that, joining support groups, interest groups, or spiritual groups can help you make meaningful connections.

In my short life of 49 years, I know the value of quality friendships over large groups of associates and cliques. I also know the value of a good support group and spiritual connections. If you feel like you have to “go along to get along”, you probably need to work on your self-esteem. If you feel like, or if you know you are the one being talked about, ganged up on, given smirks, and backhanded compliments, you want to exit that group as quickly as possible. If you are making all of the efforts to connect, you may want to mention that to your friend. Sometimes, friendships do grow apart. If you can’t be yourself, that is not your connection. If you feel bad after getting off the phone or leaving a gathering, that’s probably not your group.

I’ll tell you like I instilled in my daughter when she was in elementary, middle school, high school, and in college; Never be so desperate for friends you become a mean girl (person), you compromise your beliefs, morals, and values. Never be with the gossip group. If they don’t fit or if it’s not a good vibe, it’s okay. Bow out and move on. Don’t take it personal. Sometimes you won’t be their cup of tea and they won’t be your cup of coffee. It’s ok.

Not to long ago I found myself trying to fit into a group I knew was not right for me. It reminded me too much of the behavior of some family. I finally removed myself and curbed my gathering. It wasn’t a quality connection for me. It just didn’t feel good. I stayed because I was trying to make it work. I stayed because I wanted to expand my circle of friends and thought maybe I needed to be more tolerant or to just keep trying. But, I realized, this just wasn’t it. I tried! And now I feel so much better as it relate to that and I am ready to try to expand my circle of friends once again.

~Nikki

If you have two friends in your lifetime, you are lucky. If you have one good friend, you are more than lucky. -S.E. Hinton.

I’d like to think if you have one good friend, that is a blessing.