Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: After the Morning After (For Single Ladies)

There is a song that comes to mind by a legendary group named Maze (Frankie Beverly and Maze), with a chorus that says “After the morning after, and after the night before, when all of the fun is over, will you still want me anymore?” Now, I am a bit of a realest when it comes to being single, my past-present-NOW in that area, how much I share is at my discretion, and if I feel it will help you I will share and be honest.

We live in a world where one night stands and false promises of “let’s see” how things go AFTER you give a man your body run rampant. Often ending in no relationships, but just relations. I know to some your body, your sex, may be nothing to give away at all. It’s nothing but a roll in the hay for the liberated woman and I am so fine with that for you. However, for those of us that simply want more, well, we value our bodies in a different way. We don’t want to lay down with ANY body or EVERY body to “fulfill” the pleasure of the body and to wake up the next morning still “feeling” the want for something much more and something long lasting. There is no greater relief than avoiding the octopus arms and charms of a man and to find out a few weeks later he wasn’t all that interesting or interested in you. He was only after one thing. The calls dwindle. The conversations lulls. The avoidance is obvious. And you say to yourself, “Whew! Dodged a bullet!”

The temptation to give in  when what you really want is more than a roll in the hay, what you really want is a serious relationship, what you really want is a lifetime, is the vicious cycle of being in the moment and waking up to an awful feeling. I’d rather get to know the person FIRST. I don’t want to take a chance with my body or my emotions too soon. I am fine with that meaning I am picky about who I want to sleep with. I am fine with that meaning I may not be his chosen one because I didn’t give up the goods sooner rather than later. I am fine if that is labeled as old fashioned. I just want others who feel that way to be fine with it, too and to know there are other women who are not so liberated in that area with their bodies or emotions.

~Nikki