If I asked you what was more important than your children you would say nothing! If I asked you who or what comes before your children you would say no one and nothing! If I asked you if you spent time with your children you would say of course I do. I take them to the park, I take them to go get ice cream, I take them to the movies, I take them to their games and we have game night. I would say awesome but, are you there in body and in mind or are you there in body and half-“donkey” mentally? In other words are you engaging in every moment and soaking up every conversation or quietness (when they are tweens and teens)? Are you looking at their expressions? Gestures? Are you looking at the screen? Are you watching the game? Or are you looking at your phone or social media? Are you texting? Are you playing a game? Are you talking business or pleasure? Are you talking to your spouse or significant other?
If you can’t fathom the idea of leaving your phone in the car or turning it off during game night or while you’re at the movies in fear you may miss a call or text or post…you have a serious problem. A serious and sad addiction to a device. A sick relationship with your phone.
Here is a bright idea. Why don’t you call everyone you think may call or text you and tell them you will be with your children for about two hours and you are turning the phone off for uninterrupted time to give your children some UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. Well, Nikki, I have aging parents or a very important business matter. Well…I strongly suggest you don’t go on any social media or set your phone to quiet time and only allow your business contact or parents to interrupt. Tell the person on the other end I got one minute then I will have to call you back because I am having quality time with my child and I can’t possible talk to you/watch them at the same time effectively. It bugs the hell (heck for the offended) out of me when children just want your focus, conversations, time and all eyes on them and you can’t because you are oblivious to them because you are so connected to your phone. Time with your children FIRST …girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, phone games, social media later. They would have not constantly ask you “Did you hear me?” or “Did you see that?” if you were PRESENT in MIND and BODY.
Not again!!!!! All I did was respond to a news article with my opinion (not a fact) and I was attacked verbally. Called all kinds of names. Presumed to be all kinds of things. I defended my opinion. But Oh My Gosh…it just kept going and going. So, as one who prefers to agree to disagree for the sake of keeping positive or neutral energy, I made the decision to delete my “opinion”.
It is not often I get sucked into a dispute. Once I gather I am dealing with a person who simply likes to argue, loves to insult, insinuate, dominate a conversation, I realize quickly this is a waste of my intelligence and energy. If we are not trying to get reach an understanding respectively I want no parts of it. It’s the casting your pearls to a swine sort of thing.
So, I begin to think, as I did some years ago when I cleaned up my timeline on social media what do I want to see when I log on and how much of it can I tolerate. The power to control your energy around you in the virtual world, unlike you can many times in the real world (on the job or a loud talking person in the doctor’s office (happened to me yesterday lol)), you can have some control of who shows up in your news feed and who you follow. The power of HIDE, DELETE, UNFOLLOW and UNLIKE is like fairy dust! You just sprinkle it and poof! They are gone!
Now ask yourself why don’t I just do that? It may be because some of us enjoy the drama of people’s life sadly. Sometimes, we want to gossip about it. Sometimes, we want to argue. Well, may I humbly suggest you reevaluate your motives if you want to invite more positive energy into your life and to spend your peace of mind wisely and ask yourself: WHY? And should I feel good when I see post about something negative happening to someone? Should I burn with desire to report the post of drama from a neighbor or ex-classmate or coworker? Why do I get so excited to smash another person’s theory or opinion to pieces not with facts but, with my opinion in the nastiest way possible? Why do I feel good and powerful afterwards? (It’s really a false sense of power and accomplishment). Why like a celebrity or news outlet or candidate you don’t like so you can say mean and nasty things?
Fairy dust is now available to you in the form of Unlike, Unfollow, Hide and Delete. Go forth and do some fairy dusting today!
In comparing our lives to a river, I don’t believe it’s a straight narrow river. I believe it is a river that is narrow at some points and wide at other points. I also believe there are many many bends in the river of life. Some very deep ones. So deep you think you are going in a circle only to end up back where you started from.
I have found myself finally at a bend in life. I was going downstream in raging waters. I had no idea there was a bend somewhere downstream. (Not all bends are on the map in this journey. Surprise!). I have felt like giving up. I have laid down in the boat and said forget it. I thought about jumping off the boat during the storms. Then the sun would rise and I would dry out but, still going down. And here we have a bend…
Approaching the bend you think “Yes, I am turning around!” But what you soon realize is this bend is so deep and miles long you just may begin to panic or think you are going in a circle only to end up where you were. Well, honey, you will not. It’s just a very deep bend in life and you will come out with a mighty force. So, just do your best to maintain a positive energy around you by putting positive thoughts in you and ride the bend. Busy yourself with what you will do better, different or new once you are out of the deep bend. No worries…Glorious view are on the turnabout.
-Nikki (In Mindful Coffee Meditation this Morning)
Trying to date people who are not over their EX is like trying to have a romantic picnic on the hottest summer day in the middle of the woods. @#$!%^ All of these flies! I can’t enjoy myself. In more polite and nicer words (because no good Christian or Saint ever curses or thinks about it): I can’t enjoy YOU for the memories and conversations about your ex/exes flying around. If they are always on your mind I know I am not.
HOW TO DROWN IN YOUR SITUATION:
1. Do absolutely nothing
2. Say nothing. Don’t ask for help but, expect everyone to know you need help
3. Refuse help (Do you need help? No. I got it.)
4. Refuse instructions
5. Get out and jump back in. (For free: If you open up the door to what you got rid of it will be 7 times stronger and 7 times harder for you to get rid of, you might not ever get rid of it and it’s like a dog returning to its vomit (getting it out of their system) and then turning around and eating it AGAIN
6. Fight the help
How to drown was written to make us aware that we are drowning. Sometimes we don’t know we are sinking lower and lower in our situations. You need help. No man or woman is an island. Sometimes you can not do it alone. No matter how strong you are.
Dear Self and Others: You cannot save a person (from a situation) that does not want to be saved. I don’t care how many times they holler for help. You throw the rope and they won’t grab it. You jump in but, they are fighting you and you have to swim away before they take you down too. You get them to shore and they jump back in. You give them all kinds of options and instructions they still try to figure out how to drown. STILL. TRYING. TO FIGURE OUT. HOW TO DROWN.
The best thing you can do is say a prayer and get back on your yacht and keep sailing. You’ve got somewhere to go and other people that really need your help.
Saturday Morning Musings: Until you stop looking back in the PAST at your EX and what you two USE TO have, you will NEVER be able to uncover the JEWELS that God presents to you in the PRESENT. You’ll keep hurting other people. You’ll miss WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE pining away over WHO YOU USE TO HAVE. My advice: Let it burn. He or she is the past. Let there be no remnants of what use to be and let there now be new memories of what is with whomever you are with. And if you are not with anyone prepare your self to have no residue of him or her in your mind. Clean up for the NEW. Let it burn. Let it fade. Celebrate the NEXT not your EX.