September is rheumatoid arthritis disease awareness month. I am RAD warrior. When I was diagnosed at age 8 (started showing signs at age 7), I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was told I would either have it for life or I would grow out of it. Well, we thought around the time I entered high school it was gone. And it stayed gone until in my mid 30’s. This is when the drama began of getting the proper diagnoses. I had to fight to find out what was wrong with me. Doctors, even black doctors, dismissed my pain and one chalked it up to diabetes. I remember something a nurse told me in my early 20s as I was taking care of her after she had a child birth that almost killed her. She said, “Young lady. Advocate for your health. I told them something was wrong and they did not listen to me. I screamed. I yelled. The male doctor would not listen to me. And here I am. I was a nurse and they still didn’t respect or listen to me. You are a young black woman. You will need to fight and advocate for yourself maybe harder when it comes to healthcare. I will be suing them!”

She told me to get a female doctor and I had one up until this time. It was actually a male doctor and then a female doctor from Africa who told me it was just diabetes. I will never forget the day I lost my cool. I brought photos to show what I was experiencing and she would not even look at them! I went ballistic. I was shaking when she walked out. She had the nerve to tell me they weren’t going to spend anymore money on another blood test. I asked her, “Is it your money?” I demanded another test and to see a specialist. She came back in the room and apologized. This had gone on for a year. Finally, I got the correct diagnoses. And by the way, diabetes was a result of rheumatoid arthritis! And so was fibromyalgia, and myopathy, and other issues. Yeah, I know. The unwanted gift that keeps on giving!

Arthritis and Rheumatoid are not the same thing. Arthritis for us is a result of Rheumatic Disease. And it’s only one symptom. Rheumatoid Disease can affect the heart, lungs, and the brain. It affects the eyes as well and all of the tiny joints and big joints in the body. It radiates causing joint and bone pain. It is unpredictable and managing it is difficult. Even dull mild pain can wear you out. Especially, when it lasts all day or days. Fatigue, which is not the same as being tired, is another thing we battle. RAD is different in each one of us that have it. What I can do, some cannot do and what some can do, I cannot. There is no need to compare. And there is no need to be ashamed or to feel guilty about something you have very little control over. The power lies in controlling what you can and what you think!

~Nikki