My sister-in-law passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and her Homegoing Celebration was yesterday.

My brother was devastated, needless to say. Do you know how something can go underdetected as it relates to relationships and then you realize, “Oh! I never knew that!” This can be good or not so good depending on what you find out or realize.

Well, instead of shrinking during this difficult time, my brother began to expand more in expressing himself and the love, relationship, and marriage they had. And when I thought about it, I KNEW they loved each other but I know realize just how much and lovely their relationship was.

We never heard about an argument or drama. He told me they never argued. Every now and then, they would have “words.” This means he would say what he had to say. She would say what she had to say, and they would move on. He said she was his girl! They laughed every day about something. They did everything together.

He also expanded by crying in front of us. I love that. I love that about a man. We were together taking care of some business, and he said, “It’s just so hard, but I’m trying. We were the loves of each other lives for 37 years. But I knew her when we were children. And you remember we met back up when we were staying in those apartments.”

I did remember. My two oldest brothers, which he is one of them, were not in a good place in life at the time she came into his life. All of my childhood, those two were in trouble and never stable. But as my dad continued to labor in trying to grow them into responsible men, he met his wife again in those apartments they moved into. You see, my dad is their stepfather, but they don’t see him as that. They call him Pops.

Anyway, shortly afterward, she began cooking for them from time to time, and her relationship with my brother grew. And he changed and my eldest brother began to change, too. They both began to come to church. It was the best thing that could happen to our family.

I can their love a quiet love because it wasn’t loud in the way we can sometimes see TRUE love. But it was TRUE love in the way their was peace, laughter, and happiness in their home. Home. Behind closed doors. And it was love in the way in which he took care of her for years when she first became ill. He took her to dialysis every week, twice a week. When she was diagnosed with cancer, successfully removed, it became dialysis and chemo for weeks. As the years went on, he had to pick her up and put her in the truck. He also had to get her out. Bad back and all. He never complained and said, “I’d do it all again.”

Just because people aren’t big travelers, foodies, posting their every move, or shouting their love on rooftops doesn’t mean their not living their best lives, with the love of their life, as quiet as it may be kept.

~Nikki