28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 13 Not for Them But, For You

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I acknowledge my faults and forgive myself completely

I release the burden of shame, guilt, self-hatred, and self-judgement

Self-hatred does not serve me

Forgiveness is a gift to myself

When I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others

I am forgiven

I am capable of healing

Forgiveness gives me a clean slate and a fresh start

I am loving and compassionate. I love myself completely and I am compassionate towards myself.

I am learning and growing everyday

I overcome self-condemnation and choose compassion towards myself instead

I allow myself to be forgiven

I trust myself to build a better future

I am patient and understanding towards myself

I release my past and forgive my participation in it

When people bring up my past, I tell them I have forgiven myself and I am moving on to a better me

I forgive myself one day at a time. It takes time to heal.

The energy of love, peace, healing, and forgiveness surrounds me

From this day forward, I treat myself with respect and kindness

Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 12 Trouble in Self Love Paradise

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If your heart is blocked, you may find it difficult to love yourself and if you can’t love yourself, it’s going to be difficult to love others. How do you know if your heart, heart space, heart chakra is blocked?

  • You have a hard time forgiving others or yourself
  • It’s difficult for you to move on from the past
  • You are detached from your emotions and you don’t feel compassion or love for others or yourself
  • You are overly critical of others or yourself
  • You are isolated
  • You carry hatred openly or secretly

There is also trouble in heart paradise if your heart’s energy valve is wide open. Some symptoms are:

  • You are an over giver (time, money, advice, service, etc.)
  • You have no boundaries and you cross others’ boundaries
  • You say yes to everything and to everyone at your own physical, mental, emotional expense
  • You neglect the care for your emotional needs
  • The inability to discern healthy relationships (leading to toxicity or choosing the wrong mates, letting others run over you)
  • Codependency

What Now?

Opening up the heart or adjusting the energy or emotions that flow from the heart requires a change of mind, different approach, and exercise. One thing I’d like to address is the obvious unforgiveness in the heart. Some think to forgive is to give the person they have unforgiveness towards a pass. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. How is it for you? It frees up the space in your heart that unforgiveness is living in to be filled with love.

Resentment, unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to dies- Unknown but, probably Bert Ghezzi

Meanwhile the other person has gone on with their life or is no longer on this earth.

Forgiveness is the way to open a heart that has unforgiveness. If you can’t “see” it as forgiveness then start with trying to see it as letting go first and then move into forgiveness. This will unblock your heart and you will begin to feel the weight lifted off your chest.

If you are detached from your emotions, you may want to begin by volunteering to reconnect to people. I know there are plenty of volunteers needed in your community. But if theses emotions of detachment run deep then you my friend may need counseling with a trained, certified, professional to get to the root of the trauma and healing can begin. In fact, dealing with either one of these scenarios of a closed heart or a heart that is too open, is a call to some therapy. Why do you overextend yourself? Why can’t you say no? Why do you neglect your own emotions?

Positive thinking and affirmations can help get the ball rolling in these areas and bring balance to the heart. A change of mind is the beginning of a change of life. You must think about it to begin it. Replacing negative thoughts about yourself and others with positive thoughts changes your point of view. The judgements we make or assumptions we make about others need to be questioned. Did your parents tell you that? Did your circle of friends tell you about “that” group of people? Are you basing your information from the news? None of that is fair. Even if the information is about you!

Take the time to investigate where your thoughts about yourself and others originate. When you do discover the truth and facts, be willing to accept them and to change them if necessary. Maybe you’ve been told you are stupid. That is not true. How are you still here and stupid? Investigate the source. Maybe you just don’t know some things or it takes you longer to learn or your learning style is different. Maybe you have been naive. That’s okay. Did you learn? Did you grow? That is all that matters. Positive thoughts, affirmations, help us change the narrative in our heads therefore changing the narrative of the heart!

YOGA and EXERCISE like running or walking get the heart pumping and blood flow moving. Of course, you should consult with your doctor first. Endorphins are released. Stress levels and anxiety come down and this puts your heart space in a better place to receive and to give with balance. Yoga brings balance and has specific poses that are for the heart chakra or heart center.

Prayer and Meditation is another way to balance the energy of the heart or to heal the heart. “I can’t meditate” is a statement I hear often. The very fact one makes this statement is a reason for meditation. The second thing is the language, “I CAN’T”. Change that to I can. If you daydream or drift off to nowhere, you can meditate. Sitting quietly and gazing out the window for one minute, not judging your thoughts, not getting involved in your thoughts, simply letting them come and then refocusing on breath or whatever you are gazing on is meditation. If you can do that for one minute then you have just meditated. There are too many YouTube videos and apps for meditation and even a thing called guided meditation. You can put in time and search for a 3-minute meditation.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. I don’t know your religion and I don’t care much about that. I care if you choose to tap into the power of prayer. Prayer has a calming effect. Prayer can help heal your heart, remove negative emotions, calm you down and if you LISTEN you just may receive solutions. They may not come immediately but, perhaps through dreams or some time that day, week, month. You will get your answer or instructions. Prayer helps soothe the heart. Prayer and action can change the heart.

Another thing that can help the heart space is READING a self-help book about what is creating the imbalance or negative emotions in your heart. Somebody out there has gone through what you have been through and survived. They not only survived, they healed, and they thrive.

~Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 11 Love with Benefits

A journey to true, deep self-love is the best, most rewarding, hard work you could ever do for yourself. There are so many benefits and these are some I have discovered.

It builds this amazing confidence and resilience.

It builds this relationship with yourself that is not built on lies.

It makes you better for those YOU love, those that love you and those who are yet to love you.

It makes you choose peace over pain.

It teaches you to be less judgmental and more mindful of your own business.

 It strengthens the law of attraction. It sets you up to receive the greater goodness of life.

It teaches you to let others be as free as YOU want to be. It’s a dangerous thing to be religious without self-love. It’s a dangerous thing to be spiritual without self-love. You know why?  It creates a self-righteous stench.

Self-love can illuminate your path. It can make your journey so much clearer. It can make your purpose so much clearer.

Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses and own our strengths. We have less of a need to explain our shortcomings. We have more compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning. Self-love helps us to create a more centered life. But you must do the work that brings gratification like no other.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 10 This Just In…

Loving yourself truly is a never-ending journey because each day you make choices, subconsciously or consciously, to reflect the love you have for yourself. You will not always make the right choice, best choice and that is okay. You have the power to change your mind and your choice.

Also, while working on these 28 Days of Truthfully Loving Self, I discovered there are levels to this journey. I wasn’t happy to find that out because usually levels require some sort of painful or eye-opening experience or request. Those things, just like this work thus far, aren’t always pretty. Hmm, just when I thought I was finished. Nope. But the benefits of doing the work outweigh the dirty work. Even during the hard work of learning to love self TRUTHFULLY, TRULY, AND HONESTLY there are flowers that bloom all around you. Those eternal flowers make it worth the work and I will discuss those benefits, eternal flowers, tomorrow.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 9 Reflect and Modify

Self-love is reflecting on your behavior and modifying it. This means you must think about why you did what you did, said what you said, and allow what you allow. You might have to get some help from a therapist to help you to help yourself. Self-love is work.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 8 Standing Your Spiritual Ground

Self-love is setting boundaries and enforcing them. SETTING AND ENFORCING boundaries is hard work. Especially, when you love that person. Especially, when people don’t understand your journey or your vision. And let me just say this, they don’t have to, and you need to learn to be okay with that. Self-love and setting boundaries are hard work. You must stand your spiritual ground.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 7 The Imperfect You

Self-love is loving the imperfect you. Believe it or not, you’re not perfect. You don’t and you won’t always get it right. It’s not always easy to forgive yourself. It’s not always easy to love yourself when you are not your best self. And it’s not so much that some of us want to be perfect, we just want to get it right. Don’t forget we are human, too. Give yourself unconditional love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Give it to others. Self-love is loving the imperfect you, while you are striving to be the best you.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 6 What a Beautiful Mess

Self-love requires the excavation of your authentic self. Who were you before the pain? Before the heartbreak? Before the trauma and drama? Who were you before you were told what to do, what to think, what to be? What really makes you happy and brings you joy? Who were you before the events of life and your environment shaped you? Did you know you could shape and handcraft your own life? You are not bound by bad experiences. Ask the potter to shape you into the best you, the real you, the authentic you. But, ooo, it’s going to hurt sometimes remembering how happy, joyful, trusting, carefree, full of hope and dreams you use to be. It’s hard coming back to life. You know why? The you, you think you are must die first. Self-love requires you to dig deep, knee deep, get dirty, and to excavate your authentic self. It’s messy. It’s hard work.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 5: Maybe, Uncomfortable HONESTY

Self-love is about being HONEST with yourself about yourself, and about others. You may have to admit that you are selfish, petty to the 10th power, maybe you do let people walk all over you, maybe you do think you are better than others, maybe you are lonely, maybe you do have insecurities. MAYBE they don’t love you or respect you. Maybe it is just about sex. Maybe you never wanted to be a physical therapist, nurse, warehouse worker and you really wanted to open a bakery. You may have to admit that you were wrong and that you hurt someone. The truth will set you free but only if you tell the truth to yourself and others. It is hard work.  

Please take a little more time and check out the link below about the power of introspection. I was vulnerable in that post. 🙂

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 4 NOT CHANGE! (Sarcasm)

Self-love requires CHANGE and CHANGE is HARD WORK. It’s easier to stay the same and say “What? This is just the way I am.” If the way you are is not a reflection of love or self-love, is it really the way you are or just the way you have grown accustomed to being and responding?

You might have to change and expand circles. You may lose a few friends or you may have to make new friends. You may be alone for a while. And though you are loyal, it means nothing if you are loyal to people who don’t respect or value you or use you. If they are using your mind, they are using you. If they are using your heart and emotions, they are using you. If they are using your body, they are using you. Change is hard work. Self-love requires change.

~Nikki