Love is in each one of us. You are love and you are loved by the Most High, the Creator, God, the Universe, angels, and ancestors. Yes. I said ancestors. You are a walking living breathing temple, sanctuary, goddess, and your heart is a sacred place. Of course, the temple needs maintenance. We should take care of ourselves. Spa days, manicures and pedicures, the beauty shop, deep tissue massages, and “me times” are wonderful. Traveling the globe, a girl’s night out, and going on shopping sprees are fun. We should be able to do these things without being attached to a mate or friend. This is self-care and self-care is a part of SELF LOVE. Self-care is more like the maintenance of the outward appearance. But SELF LOVE is the inward maintenance. Self-love is an inside job. “Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself, that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.”-Psychology Today, Dr. Deborah Khoshaba. And while self-care does make us feel good at the time that it is happening, SELF-LOVE can make us feel good about who we are as a person for a lifetime. “If self-care is a sparkler then self-love is an eternal flame.”-Nicole Jackson
A few weekends ago, I did something I’ve always wanted to do. I held my first public gathering for women. A seminar? Luncheon? Empowerment? Yes, all of that, BUT so much more. My goal was for it to be non-religious, more spiritual and diverse experience. What I mean by that is you’re free to be yourself, say what you REALLY say to your girlfriends when the cameras are off and Sunday is over. The speakers were allowed to TRULY be themselves. The women were free to come as Buddhists, Christians, nonbelievers, etc. It was all inclusive.
It was impressed upon me by Spirit to have the purpose to be something of an “epiphany” of the HEART, MIND, SOUL, BODY, & SPIRIT. Each speaker addressed that area with complete honesty and authenticity. One spoke on SEX and HIV. Safe sex and the high rate of HIV we have in the city of Memphis. This was the Body Epiphany.
Next was the Soul Epiphany. This speaker spoke on the “SOUL of a WOMAN” and the Power that is embodied in that soul. It is the fuel of life! The power of the soul of the woman changes the atmosphere it is in and out changes lives.
The Heart Epiphany was about self love and the hard work it takes to TRULY love yourself. It’s important to know the difference between self care and self love. You can go to a spa for a week and come home to the same chaotic relationships, family-ships, and friendships.
The Spirit Epiphany…wow! Merging the traditional religion of Christianity with WHO you really are and WHAT you really believe is something that takes courage and authenticity. And this speaker has them both. She gave us a glimpse into her journey.
What can you do without your mind? The Mind Epiphany was about the importance of mental health, well being, redefining the narrative, and what to do if you discover…YOU ARE THE PROBLEM?
ALSO on deck was a very important agency in my city, Memphis, known as THE CORNER. Free testing for STDS and HIV, information, and the help for anyone who finds themselves in this situation. This organization is vital in our community and one of their representatives, Queen was a jewel of knowledge!
Queen on her knowledge of facts on facts! Stats on stats!
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to step out into my own. I may not have gotten the chance to do everything I wanted to do for my birthday month, but I got to do the most important thing and this was it!!!
The vendors were spectacular! I’m sure they made their vendor fees back and enjoyed the event. I can’t wait to improve this for next year. Let’s GROW!
I look at 2019 like a game of chess. It was long and it ended in a stalemate. However, I’ve got the lessons, the diamonds, the nuggets, to prove I am still the champion of my life! I know the importance of counting my blessings in life and looking on the brighter side of things! Let’s start with the BIGGEST lesson.
Listen to your GUT, INTUITION, THE HOLY SPIRIT above all other voices of advice. It’s good to seek godly counsel and good advice, but at the end of the day YOUR intuition is what knows. In fact, you already know the answer most of the time you are seeking “what to do” advice. You just don’t want to do it. You don’t want to be wrong. I didn’t. If you must look, look for confirmation to what your SOUL is saying.
YOUR SOUL is where your intuition is. It comes from deep within. Your brain is your logic. Your heart (emotions) is your feelings. BUT your soul is what knows. So when it comes to matters of the heart, relationships, your heart and brain may be at war, but your SOUL knows. I have to listen to my soul more. MY SOUL WAS SCREAMING, but I was trying to rationalize and feel my way out of a bad situation.
PEACE of MIND, a re-enforced lesson this year, IS EVERYTHING. What can you do without a peace of mind? Well, you may be able to function and get things done, but how much easier it is with a peace of mind. I am a creative being that requires a peace of mind to work. I know it’s my job to protect my peace of mind, but what I learned is that the wrong person in your environment can disturb and destroy your peace of mind. I feel so sorry for those who are linked up, living with, in a relationship, and married to a person that wreaks havoc on their mind and heart.
IT WON’T GET BETTER. Them pretending to do better, do right, etc…nah…You’re not their JESUS (savior) or their THERAPIST which they so desperately are in need of both. Mental illness is real and comes in all shapes and forms. If you have a Narcissist or a Habitual liar on your hands, get them out of your hands, mind, heart, and life. They are only sowing hurt and harm into your life and reaping it in their own lives. It’s a big cycle of UNNECESSARY PAIN AND DRAMA. Which leads to…
TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST. If you have a mate that only wants to eat junk food, fatty food, overly seasoned food, you may find yourself at the same table and in the same situation health wise they are in. You can nag all you want, but you can’t control other people’s habits. So literally, TAKE CARE OF YOU. Exercise by yourself or with friends. Buy healthier food. Meditate and seek a REAL spiritual connection daily. Actually, that REAL DEEP SPIRITUAL connection may be the thing that helps you move a way from an unhealthy relationship. BACK TO….
MENTAL HEALTH. Go to therapy and don’t discuss what you discussed in therapy with a crazy mate. They will only try to discourage you and manipulate your sessions. It’s like the parable about seed being sown into the right type of ground. “How did your session go? What did your therapist say about us? Did you talk about us?” These are the questions they ask. They want to CONTROL your emotions and thoughts. They want to throw it back in your face and make you feel bad. They will even compare it to you sharing business. They will justify their conversations with other people. Namely the opposite sex. Don’t fall for it. The people they talk to aren’t professionals. Your response: “It went well. I have work to do. I don’t want to talk about my sessions. It’s personal. It’s private. Respect that. I am speaking with a professional. Why don’t you try therapy? I am sure they can refer you to someone.”
TIME RESTORED. It’s just like reclaiming your time. I wasted a big portion of my year on a relationship. I felt bad until God reminded me that time can be restored by the Creator of Time. Time can be added. God has a RESET button. Hallelujah for that! I can get on with the business of dreams and goals like I never missed a beat. Keep it moving.
YOU DIDN’T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD. You just created space for the RIGHT ONE. THE GOD SENT ONE or OPPORTUNITY.
“IN THE DARKEST HOURS OF YOUR LIFE, USE YOUR NIGHT VISION”-NICOLE JACKSON. One of my favorite quotes dropped in my spirit from me.
Reflect on your 2019 and Release anything, everything, that hindered you or hurt you. Open up your heart to 2020 so that it may be filled with GOOD, PEACE, REAL LOVE and PROSPERITY.
Let’s do this November! Bring all the good seed harvest I’ve sown this year. I need every bit of it to make up for the time wasted. But was it really time wasted? Ok it was BUT I learned. I paid for those invaluable lessons. IT’S ALL FOR MY GOOD (My growth because when you love God, have a REAL relationship with God, you are open to learning & growing) because I love God.
I feel like things are settling back into peace and back to work for me. It’s back to my creative grind, growth, and doing all of the wonderful things that I was born to do. Peace is a priority in my life and has been for the last 14 years. As you know, it has to be maintained. It has to be protected by any means necessary.
I went to the doctor this morning and my blood sugar level was good and I’ve lost some weight. My doctor was pleased. I love this getting back to normal. Back into the grove of my little big life. Focused on my family and gifts. Determined to build wealth and see the manifestation of my gifts and talents. And still waiting for the love that is true and adds to the peace I need. Not take away from it. I hope your November is filled with JOY.
I had the displeasure of meeting a person last night and the hostility in the air was so foul we chose to leave rather than to stay and be TOLERATED. I was glad the choice was made because you could choke off the energy in the air. I am really proud of myself and how I am handling the aftermath of the situation. I was prepared because I realize the opposition I am facing being the NEW as the OLD fades to black. I realize it’s a ride to paradise, but not without turbulence! So, had some helluva turbulence last night. Still headed towards my destination.
One thing I have learned in life is to go where you are CELEBRATED and not where you are tolerated. The quote by Maya Angelou above also popped into my mind. It’s funny when you are experiencing a quote, wisdom, or the truth in real time. I won’t forget how I was made to feel. REJECTED. It’s not the first time and even though it’s a negative feeling I also know that I am ACCEPTED by so many others. Why let the negative ride? I won’t. I came home, poured my water, hugged my friend, and lit the Gardenia scented candle that reminds of my “Big Mama” and my childhood. It reminds me that I am well loved, I am beloved, I am accepted by those that matter.
When I began the journey to excavate my authentic self I thought it would be fun and adventurous to discover who I really was/am. It was. It was also shocking at times. It was like re-introducing myself to a self that I vaguely remembered. I felt disoriented at times. The feeling of shock and disorientation often happened when I admitted to myself the truth about what I thought and felt about things I learned or was taught growing up. It really bothered me at times admitting the truth about how I felt about my religion. It was a going against the grain. It was fear that God would “strike me down” and keep note of all the thoughts and feels I had about some rules, regulations, and doctrine. I was like, “Oh, you really don’t agree with that. You never did like that explanation. Nah, that’s not what that means. No, I don’t believe that.” UH-OH, you’re in big trouble. You’re going to be called a fake Christian.
I had to sit with this uncomfortableness as I made a decision whether to walk in ALL of my AUTHENTICITY, or partially or to hide some parts. Nod my head and go along to get along with the masses. The first thing Spirit gave me was to LEARN TO LOVE this old/new part of me by accepting that it is what it is. It is what I think and what I feel. Right or wrong by others standards, it is what I understand on my spiritual journey. “LOVE ALL OF IT. Get so comfortable with it, when you are called too modern or too out there or FAKE, you’ll be okay with it because you’ll have a peace about it because of your own personal relationship with the CREATOR and yourself.” So, John the Baptist…locust and honey-ish in the wilderness, yet at home. (LOL)
Recently, I read Dr. Martin Luther’s King theory on Jesus and my mind was blown to pieces and put back together again. It wasn’t very “Christian-like” to say the least. But, I loved that he spoke “his” thoughts and theory. I don’t have to agree and I don’t have to call him fake or a non-Christian because he had his own thoughts, ideas, and theories. Even if it did go against the Bible and Scholars.
Loving my authentic self empowers me to keep growing and moving towards my own goals, dreams, and destiny. It gives me POWER to walk my own journey and not to worry too much about yours. Oh, and to stand the criticism. I’ll uninvite myself, thank you very much. I was feeling kinda’ trapped in there anyways…
The problem with pretending everything is okay when it’s “not” okay is you begin to accept behavior that is not okay. Once you begin to accept behavior that is not okay, you begin to NORMALIZE this bad behavior and mistreatment. You know what is worse? Anything that points to you having to confront or deal with REALITY sends you into retreat or lies to protect that which you don’t want to disturb. You make excuses. You don’t want to deal with the elephant that once was simply in the room, but is now on top of your head or chest. You are cracking up on the inside. You are miserable as hell. You will have a nervous breakdown, a heart attack, before you deal with the elephants. Yes. With an “s” because an elephant not dealt with becomes a heard.