28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 20 Blank Stares

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Prayer and Meditation is another way to balance the energy of the heart or to heal the heart. “I can’t meditate” is a statement I hear often. The very fact one makes this statement is a reason for meditation. The second thing is the language, “I CAN’T”. Change that to I can. If you daydream or drift off to nowhere, you can meditate. Sitting quietly and gazing out the window for one minute, not judging your thoughts, not getting involved in your thoughts, simply letting them come and then refocusing on breath or whatever you are gazing on is meditation. If you can do that for one minute then you have just meditated. There are too many YouTube videos and apps for meditation and even a thing called guided meditation. You can put in time and search for a 3-minute meditation. You can try the app Calm.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. I don’t know your religion and I don’t care much about that. I care if you choose to tap into the power of prayer. Prayer has a calming effect. Prayer can help heal your heart, remove negative emotions, calm you down and if you LISTEN you just may receive solutions. They may not come immediately but, perhaps through dreams or some time that day, week, month. You will get your answer or instructions. Prayer helps soothe the heart. Prayer and action can change the heart.

This one below is good for the a morning meditation with no words.

This one below is a good morning meditation for beginners

This one below is a good morning prayer

This one below is ONE OF MY FAVORITE PERSONS THAT DOES AFFRIMATIONS AND GUIDED MEDITATION…I LOVE ME SOME HIM

28 Days of Self Love: Day 19 Test Positive

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Positive thinking and affirmations can help get the ball rolling in these areas and bring balance to the heart. A change of mind is the beginning of a change of life. You must think about it to begin it. Replacing negative thoughts about yourself and others with positive thoughts changes your point of view. The judgements we make or assumptions we make about others need to be questioned. Did your parents tell you that? Did your circle of friends tell you about “that” group of people? Are you basing your information from the news? None of that is fair. Even if the information is about you!

Take the time to investigate where your thoughts about yourself and others originate. When you do discover the truth and facts, be willing to accept them and to change them if necessary. Maybe you’ve been told you are stupid. That is not true. How are you still here and stupid? Investigate the source. Maybe you just don’t know some things or it takes you longer to learn or your learning style is different. Maybe you have been naive. That’s okay. Did you learn? Did you grow? That is all that matters. Positive thoughts, affirmations, help us change the narrative in our heads therefore changing the narrative of the heart!

  • Life goes on and it gets better for me
  • Positive thinking is transforming my life
  • I have the power to control my thoughts
  • I am capable
  • I have the power to change my story
  • I deserve to feel good about myself
  • I deserve happiness
  • I act out of love not out of fear
  • I am good enough
  • I am becoming the best version of myself
  • I can do anything I put my mind to
  • I am strong and confident
  • I have the power to control my thoughts

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 18 It’s All in Your Mind

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What is mental health? Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Let’s lift this out of the first paragraph, “It affects how we think, feel, and act.” If your mental health is not in check, it will affect the way you think and feel about yourself. It will affect the actions you take concerning yourself. Yes, it will affect others, too, but today we are talking about you and self-love. When you don’t take care of your mental health you may not be able to see yourself through the correct lenses. You may not make the best decisions for yourself. I know from personal experiences.

Mental health challenges distort the truth. It distorts facts. When I am challenged with anxiety, I have to first realize that I am anxious. I am anxious about my current situation or the future. I have to tell myself; I can’t trust anything I am thinking and saying right now because I am feeling anxious. It’s not until I start to build the momentum to pull myself out of anxiety or depression that I can trust what I am thinking and feeling. Feelings pass. “Thoughts” can change. It is especially important to remember that when you are going through something that affects your mental health. A loss of a family member, being fired from your job, the breakup of a relationship or mental illness.

Taking care of your mental health or mental illness is pertinent to your overall health but, it also is a sign of loving yourself enough to deal with the mental issues you have. You must be brave to face the facts. You must be even braver, to take the step to talk to your doctor and to seek out a mental health professional. It’s wonderful to pray about it but, your breakthrough comes when you accept the help available to you. For the super religious, God created therapist and psychologist. There is one of your race and culture and religion. AND God loves them and approves them just as much as he loves and approves you and primary care physician. They are walking in their calling, too. They are anointed, too.

So, my love, take care of your mental health. If you want to show yourself that you love yourself, take that step. I’m with you all the way.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 17 Music to Water Self Love Seeds

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Water in the hole! Yes! Water! Believe it or not, MUSIC can help deepen the roots of self-love because music is an elixir. Think of it as watering your seeds of love for yourself. Have you ever listened to a song, closed your eyes, forgot you couldn’t sing, and lost yourself in the lyrics? The lyrics hit home. Where is home? The heart. The soul. You FELT it.

Make you a playlist that saturates your heart. I promise you that in times of feeling low about yourself that music will lift you up. I have this playlist that I listen to whenever I don’t feel loved. It’s a list of songs about love and being a woman. It’s a list that has songs that talk about the strength of a woman, the heart of a woman, and songs that make me feel the beauty of feminine energy. There are songs on that list that help me imagine what love would be like and feel like. I always feel empowered and a surge of love when I am listening to it. Love songs that remind me of what I deserve.

Sounds simple because it is. It doesn’t always have to be complicated to enrich your love for yourself. Much like exercise, music has been shown to increase oxytocin and serotonin levels in your brain, both of which can be instant mood-boosters according to Behavioral Health Science.

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. -Kahlil Gibran

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. – Alphonse de Lamartine

Where words fail, music speaks. – Hans Christian Anderson

Music soothes the soul (heart)- unknown

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 16 Soul Music

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What do YOU want? Not what your family wants, not what your friends want, not what society wants, not what your religion wants, and not what your significant other or spouse wants. But what do YOU desire for your life? What does your life look like for you?

It’s important to know what you want because how else will you create the life YOU, emphasis on YOU, want to live? Self-love requires satisfying YOUR soul. Is your soul satisfied with the life you are living? Is it satisfied with the job, the environment, with others’ dreams for you? Is it satisfied in the church, temple, or mosque you attend? Is it satisfied with the relationships in your life?

If you don’t live your life according to you and the Creator, how will you ever truly satisfy your soul? I was MAKING myself to attend a church, I was getting very little spiritual nourishment from because I didn’t want to let anyone down. I didn’t want to embarrass my family by going somewhere else. I was feeling guilty. I loved the community it was in. I loved the people there but I wasn’t getting much out of the messages. I was so miserable the night before church and bored out of my mind during certain parts. I was happy to be actively involved with projects but I was sacrificing my soul at certain points of the service. I had outgrown this place.

Why was I feeling guilty? There is nothing wrong with being where your soul feels at peace. I had to learn that. In many religions we are made to feel guilty about not carrying out certain practices and rituals. Was I to be loyal to everyone else and what they wanted for me or was I created to be loyal to MY soul’s desires for my life? Loving yourself deeply means tending to your soul and the desires of your soul. What makes your soul happy? Not your flesh but your SOUL?

Take some time. Block out some time. Get away from everyone. Get you a notebook and pen. Dream. Fantasize. Think about what you would like to do with your life. This is judgement free time so it’s not a time to think about what others want of you. If they would be happy or not. WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE LOOK LIKE IF YOU WERE LIVING THE WAY YOU DESIRE? What would you be? What would you do with your time? Where would you go? What’s your hairstyle? What’s your hair color? What’s your clothing choice? What kind of jewelry are you wearing? What are your friendships like? What is your significant other like? What does your home look like?

Satisfying your soul by living out your dreams, YOUR dreams, is an ACT of self-love. – Nicole Jackson

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 15 You Don’t Have to but…

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You don’t have to forgive anyone. You can keep holding that grudge and unforgiveness in your heart and trying to figure out why you are so heavy. You can tell us you feel free but, anytime their name is brought up or you think about it and it yanks your heart, you are not as free as you think you are. Once again, you don’t have to forgive anyone. But just in case you want to open the love valve even more in your life, here you go:

I am kind. I am compassionate. Therefore, I forgive and move on with my life.

I am compassionate towards myself about the mistakes I’ve made in my life and that creates compassion for others

In order to grow in love, I forgive

I forgive others and set the appropriate boundaries as needed

I release the past and forgive [name] for the wrong, perceived wrongs, or intended wrongs towards me.

I choose to let go of the grudge and anger against [name of person] and I choose to be happier in my life.

The incident that happened between us is in the past forever. I wish the best for them. All is well between us. Peace be with you. Peace be within me.

I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I send them loving energy and wash it out of my aura (space, heart)

I forgive so that I have inner peace.

~Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 14 Happy Day of Love

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When I was in my 20’s I showed up to work wearing all black one Valentine’s Day to show my UN-appreciation of this holiday. I was single. I was bitter. I was OVER IT. I knew I had to be at work for 10 hours as flowers, candy, bears, baskets, and balloons were delivered to the job. It was laughable then as we all laughed about it on the job and it’s laughable now because I can say I was honest about how I felt at that time. (I told them days before I was going to do it).

It’s funny and not funny how things and days can affect how we feel. We allow it to. We choose it. Sometimes we can’t help it. The next day I went out to get the half off Valentine’s Day candy for myself. Happy Valentine’s Day to me! The next year, I passed out candy to all of my co-workers. I didn’t want anyone to have that feeling as gifts rolled in.

Those that love “love” like to express it. Some that are withdrawn, can’t stand mushy lovey dovely stuff, once loved or need love. I began to appreciate ANY DAY that brings GOOD, POSITIVE, HAPPY, LOVE ENERGY. I don’t care if it’s man made. I started to like how the colors of pink, red, white, purples, filled the drab warehouse that was often filled with stress. It also said to me, you may not be loved or appreciated on the job but, someone out there, in the world, loves and cares about you. And they are showing it. I learn to be filled with love in appreciation for the love others were receiving. Seeing others happy and smiling made me happy and smiley lol.

So, every year I celebrate Valentine’s Day by gifting myself, my parents, and a single friend something. I have a daughter and I give her something every year as my parents did my younger brother and I. Sometimes, they still give me something! Send a card. Send or give flowers. Call someone and tell them how much you appreciate them. Do something for your nieces and nephews on that day. Run the love meter up!

~Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 13 Not for Them But, For You

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I acknowledge my faults and forgive myself completely

I release the burden of shame, guilt, self-hatred, and self-judgement

Self-hatred does not serve me

Forgiveness is a gift to myself

When I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others

I am forgiven

I am capable of healing

Forgiveness gives me a clean slate and a fresh start

I am loving and compassionate. I love myself completely and I am compassionate towards myself.

I am learning and growing everyday

I overcome self-condemnation and choose compassion towards myself instead

I allow myself to be forgiven

I trust myself to build a better future

I am patient and understanding towards myself

I release my past and forgive my participation in it

When people bring up my past, I tell them I have forgiven myself and I am moving on to a better me

I forgive myself one day at a time. It takes time to heal.

The energy of love, peace, healing, and forgiveness surrounds me

From this day forward, I treat myself with respect and kindness

Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 12 Trouble in Self Love Paradise

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If your heart is blocked, you may find it difficult to love yourself and if you can’t love yourself, it’s going to be difficult to love others. How do you know if your heart, heart space, heart chakra is blocked?

  • You have a hard time forgiving others or yourself
  • It’s difficult for you to move on from the past
  • You are detached from your emotions and you don’t feel compassion or love for others or yourself
  • You are overly critical of others or yourself
  • You are isolated
  • You carry hatred openly or secretly

There is also trouble in heart paradise if your heart’s energy valve is wide open. Some symptoms are:

  • You are an over giver (time, money, advice, service, etc.)
  • You have no boundaries and you cross others’ boundaries
  • You say yes to everything and to everyone at your own physical, mental, emotional expense
  • You neglect the care for your emotional needs
  • The inability to discern healthy relationships (leading to toxicity or choosing the wrong mates, letting others run over you)
  • Codependency

What Now?

Opening up the heart or adjusting the energy or emotions that flow from the heart requires a change of mind, different approach, and exercise. One thing I’d like to address is the obvious unforgiveness in the heart. Some think to forgive is to give the person they have unforgiveness towards a pass. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. How is it for you? It frees up the space in your heart that unforgiveness is living in to be filled with love.

Resentment, unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to dies- Unknown but, probably Bert Ghezzi

Meanwhile the other person has gone on with their life or is no longer on this earth.

Forgiveness is the way to open a heart that has unforgiveness. If you can’t “see” it as forgiveness then start with trying to see it as letting go first and then move into forgiveness. This will unblock your heart and you will begin to feel the weight lifted off your chest.

If you are detached from your emotions, you may want to begin by volunteering to reconnect to people. I know there are plenty of volunteers needed in your community. But if theses emotions of detachment run deep then you my friend may need counseling with a trained, certified, professional to get to the root of the trauma and healing can begin. In fact, dealing with either one of these scenarios of a closed heart or a heart that is too open, is a call to some therapy. Why do you overextend yourself? Why can’t you say no? Why do you neglect your own emotions?

Positive thinking and affirmations can help get the ball rolling in these areas and bring balance to the heart. A change of mind is the beginning of a change of life. You must think about it to begin it. Replacing negative thoughts about yourself and others with positive thoughts changes your point of view. The judgements we make or assumptions we make about others need to be questioned. Did your parents tell you that? Did your circle of friends tell you about “that” group of people? Are you basing your information from the news? None of that is fair. Even if the information is about you!

Take the time to investigate where your thoughts about yourself and others originate. When you do discover the truth and facts, be willing to accept them and to change them if necessary. Maybe you’ve been told you are stupid. That is not true. How are you still here and stupid? Investigate the source. Maybe you just don’t know some things or it takes you longer to learn or your learning style is different. Maybe you have been naive. That’s okay. Did you learn? Did you grow? That is all that matters. Positive thoughts, affirmations, help us change the narrative in our heads therefore changing the narrative of the heart!

YOGA and EXERCISE like running or walking get the heart pumping and blood flow moving. Of course, you should consult with your doctor first. Endorphins are released. Stress levels and anxiety come down and this puts your heart space in a better place to receive and to give with balance. Yoga brings balance and has specific poses that are for the heart chakra or heart center.

Prayer and Meditation is another way to balance the energy of the heart or to heal the heart. “I can’t meditate” is a statement I hear often. The very fact one makes this statement is a reason for meditation. The second thing is the language, “I CAN’T”. Change that to I can. If you daydream or drift off to nowhere, you can meditate. Sitting quietly and gazing out the window for one minute, not judging your thoughts, not getting involved in your thoughts, simply letting them come and then refocusing on breath or whatever you are gazing on is meditation. If you can do that for one minute then you have just meditated. There are too many YouTube videos and apps for meditation and even a thing called guided meditation. You can put in time and search for a 3-minute meditation.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. I don’t know your religion and I don’t care much about that. I care if you choose to tap into the power of prayer. Prayer has a calming effect. Prayer can help heal your heart, remove negative emotions, calm you down and if you LISTEN you just may receive solutions. They may not come immediately but, perhaps through dreams or some time that day, week, month. You will get your answer or instructions. Prayer helps soothe the heart. Prayer and action can change the heart.

Another thing that can help the heart space is READING a self-help book about what is creating the imbalance or negative emotions in your heart. Somebody out there has gone through what you have been through and survived. They not only survived, they healed, and they thrive.

~Love, Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 11 Love with Benefits

A journey to true, deep self-love is the best, most rewarding, hard work you could ever do for yourself. There are so many benefits and these are some I have discovered.

It builds this amazing confidence and resilience.

It builds this relationship with yourself that is not built on lies.

It makes you better for those YOU love, those that love you and those who are yet to love you.

It makes you choose peace over pain.

It teaches you to be less judgmental and more mindful of your own business.

 It strengthens the law of attraction. It sets you up to receive the greater goodness of life.

It teaches you to let others be as free as YOU want to be. It’s a dangerous thing to be religious without self-love. It’s a dangerous thing to be spiritual without self-love. You know why?  It creates a self-righteous stench.

Self-love can illuminate your path. It can make your journey so much clearer. It can make your purpose so much clearer.

Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses and own our strengths. We have less of a need to explain our shortcomings. We have more compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning. Self-love helps us to create a more centered life. But you must do the work that brings gratification like no other.

~Nikki