She said “I do love myself. I get my hair done, I get my nails done, I take myself out to nice places, you know, I treat myself.” Yet, she continues in a job she hates, she moves from man to man, she allows the mistreatment of her heart, mind, and body. She is unfulfilled spiritually and goes through the motions as a single parent. Question: Has it ever occurred to you that loving yourself goes DEEPER than an hour long mani and pedi? Beyond expensive purses and exotic trips?
Those things are surface and fine. However, I urge you to search for a deeper love of self that involves self worth, self esteem building and fulfilling your destiny. I urge to a deeper connection to being in the present moment with your child/children if you are single parent. I urge you to a commitment to living in the now. Seek healing from the past wounds. Discover what is you want, need and desires in a relationship and don’t accept anything less that God given. Define what a healthy relationship to you. What are your values and your morals and grow your roots in them. Take care of your body via exercise and healthier choices. Invest in quality time with the religion you have chosen. TREAT YOURSELF to a JOYFUL, expanding life and not fleeting happiness or relationships (friendships or “workships”) that are everything you DON’T desire.
I know that you are grateful that you have a place of employment, but that does not mean you are happy or joyful or motivated going there daily. I have worked a job with great pay, but it was so mundane. I have also worked one that I loathe, with very low pay and it literally activated the illness I have in my body presently. Some jobs really are bad for your health! Well, what do you do about a job you don’t like? One that stresses you beyond the norm? You take action.
One thing you don’t do is let others make you feel guilty about not “loving” your job. The second thing to do is to determine if you are bored, if you have reached a ceiling, or if you literally hate the thought, sight, smell, etc of your place of employment. If you are bored, then maybe you can set goals or set your sights on a promotion. Also, ask about certifications pertaining to your position.
If you have reached a ceiling, gone as far as you can go in that position, then maybe search for positions in another department. Perhaps, asking about certifications on the job or going back to school may be an option. Some people switch careers.
If your job is causing you extreme anxiety and stress then you must get a hold on managing it better. This could be life-saving. In the meantime, search for a new job somewhere else. You can become burned out. It could be a job that is totally not a fit for you or your personality. Be honest. I had to be. It wasn’t just Mondays that got me down. It was every day and every hour. I was happier leaving than I was going!
Whatever the situation is, nothing can bring me you more joy than discovering or working on what it is you really want to do with your life. This could be your saving grace. After you clock out, after you take care of your family, carve out some time to search for what it is you want to do and how to do it. This is what is saving me. You can look forward to working on your REAL life calling and destiny in the meantime. You’ll love Mondays and everyday from here on out.
Yesterday, a guy asked me if I wanted to get married (not as in a proposal ha!) I said “I don’t know and I know that is strange coming from a woman,but maybe not. Most of the time I do but, today I am not sure.”
I remember when my answer to this question was a certainty. A resounding “Yes!” And then in my late 20’s to my 30’s I think it was more of saying yes to this question, trying to convince myself that I still did want to get married. I mean what woman wouldn’t want to? (You don’t have to answer that because I do know not every woman wants to be married) As I reflected on my answer last night and this morning I logged onto Facebook and began to scroll my timeline. Someone had posted the 8 a.m. service of my church so I clicked the play button.
He talked about remembering, visions, dreams, and revelation. I remembered the dream I had at the beginning of the year where I was attending my niece’s wedding (she is already married), and a very good friend was there whom I trust more than most. Well in this dream my niece had on a lavender robe (her favorite color is purple/lavender) but, everything involving the wedding was pink. A soft pink. The bridesmaid dresses were pink and I had one on. The flowers were a mixture of pinks. I held up some lingerie which was a gift to her and I said “What are you going to do with this?” And we both laughed and laughed. When I went out to the living area, it was if we were in a suite, my friend was there in a suit. He said “Someday, you are going to make a beautiful bride.” And then I woke up.
I researched the color pink down to the shades. I found that the color I was wearing and that mostly dominated the dream was symbolic of hope. I immediately got the message “Keep hope alive. Never let your hope of being married wither.” You keep hope alive by actively choosing faith. Hope and faith, like many other things are connected in the spiritual realm of this world and our lives. If you lose hope, faith can waver or dissipates over time. If you lose faith, hope wavers or dissipates over time. However you spin it, they belong together.
I accessed my feelings in relation to the question asked. How have you been feeling lately Nikki about relationships and dating? I have been feeling doubtful, frustrated, impatient. This is why I answered, “I don’t know.” My pastor reminded me that vision and dreams are connected and you needed to remember what God, (or your source-that’s me talking to you), has promised you. Also, God will give a revelation, instructions, on how to go about making the dream manifest. You just do as the instructions come or as the instructions say. This could be about anything. For me, at that moment is was about the marriage. It was about me remembering the many dreams I have had about love, relationships, and marriage. It was about connecting my vision of what love looks like and what love means to me, to dreams I’ve been given and following the instructions (like blocking a number of some crazy guy I met) or hearing the voice of the Spirit say “This guy still has feelings for his ex. Keep your heart to yourself.”….so you see, revelation must be followed. Do you want to get married? Yes. Yes I do.
Early this morning I had a dream I was in a place that was like a school filled with people in their 20’s and up (young adults, adults, seasoned adults). Some were students and some were instructors. However, all I did was follow my older sister to her class and when she went into her class I walked around, then I would go back to her class when she got out. In the dream this happened day in and day out, over and over.
But one day, as I was walking around the state of the art school/university, which had every class you could imagine for every profession, job, career, off beat profession, entrepreneurs, etc you could imagine, I saw a man who looked familiar and he said “Nicole, what do they have you doing in here?” As he brushed up against my arm there was a quick vision of him teaching me to sew as a child. His hand was on my hand at the sewing machine. Before I could answer his question he said “Tell them to send you to Sew with Joe” and he waved me good bye. As I was going up some glass and metal stairs I saw an aunt. She said “Hey Nikki. On my way to a meeting.” I decided to follow her and we went into a room with a glass floor and when I saw the rug beneath the long table I thought “This rug is off centered but, it would be perfect in the drama.” I immediately got an idea for some dramatic made for TV drama. I started to pull the rug to center it and then I said to myself “Oh, I have to go because my sister gets out of class soon. I wonder what time?” I looked up at the clock and it was 10 minutes to 4 P.M. and I got to her class just in time for it to dismiss at 4 P.M.
Then I woke up.
My interpretation: It’s a waste of time to follow the footsteps of others that are not on your path. Even if others think it’s the way. If it’s the way your siblings went, parents went, friend went. If it is not your dream/vision, if it was not giving to you by the Divine, you will be like a drone or robot, just going and coming. You see, my sister is in the medical field and so was mom and it is the path she wanted me to follow. It’s the path she thinks is the best path and better than any other path because it’s one she chose. She holds it in high esteem. Which is why it is important to support and nourish whatever your child wants to be or they will become a wanderer in many fields and things but, never touching what their heart desired. You put that fire out when you try to GUIDE them into what YOU want them to be. Some of you as adults, including me are still wandering or going back and forth in something we would never have chosen to be in all of these years. Instill values and morals in your children, not your dreams.
It’s not until you get bored or curious or decide to explore your true passions, dreams, gifts that you are run into people and situations that help you bloom. It’s not until you try something you always wanted to try does a spark of creativity and electricity flow through your body. When Joe, the angel (I believe that’s who he was) touched me and I remembered I was taught to sew before I came to earth, and that I can come back to learn again, I felt alive and awaken and astonished. When I walked into the business meeting I didn’t care about the business meeting, I was more concerned with the rug placement and creating a drama.
4 (4 PM in the dream) is the number of establishment and direction. What you do over and over in this realm, physically you will establish and leave here. What you do over and over mentally or play in your mind, fix in your mind-follow the leader, follow others, follow the path you don’t want to, you will establish in your mind this is the way when it’s not the way-a drone/a robot that has ESTABLISHED a way of thinking and drowned out the emotional sadness to a numbness. After all of the SIGNS to go into your dreams, gifts and talents you will go back to follow a path you never chose for yourself. You see, I went back to get my sister at 4pm in the dream as I was starting to rearrange the room. I stopped doing what I wanted to do, to do what I was “told” to do.
There are times in life when we will face some really difficult situations which can cause us to “worry” or to become “concerned” about the outcome. Anxiety is a perpetual worry and concern. It can come like a flood seemingly out of nowhere or it can come immediately when something foreseen or not begins to manifest right before our eyes. And many times it may never manifest or at least not to the full degree we allow ourselves to imagine. It is when our active imagination takes us out in the deep where we lose sight of the shore of hope and faith. We are no longer anchored to the shore. We are floating out on a sea of shaky thoughts. We become “see” sick by the things we imagine will happen.
I ran across this quote and I had this thought: “Oh, it’s like Kanye-ing thoughts which create anxiety.” Imagine anxiety with a mic and you run up on stage and say “Look, I’m not going to give the mic back. However, I would like to thank the Creator for all that I have. I am grateful for life. I am thankful for the breath I breathe. I am thankful for the clothes and shoes I have. I am happy I can see, walk, talk and taste the food I have. I am so very grateful for the lessons I am learning….” You know blah blah blah good stuff until Anxiety walks off the stage and has a seat.
In many cases it’s rude to interrupt but, it’s perfectly fine to interrupt negative thoughts and “what ifs” that create and build up negative emotions that send you into anxiety rap battles also know as anxiety attacks. I remember reading a book by Inyanla Vanzant that stated “If you are going to play the “what if” game, play the other side.” In other words, what about “what if” it doesn’t happen? Instead, use your imagination to create solutions and calm. Also, if you play the what if game, then ask yourself what can I do if that does happen. I know it’s not easy. I know from experience. However, it’s worth cutting off negative thoughts or anxiety and filling your mind with gratitude instead.
You have the courage and the strength to rise up again. Again means you have done it before and if you have done it before you can do it again. I know. it’s never been this devastating. I know, it’s never been this dark. I know it’s never been this hard. Still, you have it in you to rise once more and again if you have to. And when you rise, pray.
And when you rise up, TAKE courage. Sometimes you have to TAKE courage and do what needs to be done.
I pray and I meditate. In my meditation I received this and wanted to share with those who may be experiencing some alarming shifting in your life. I do write down what I receive most times. It can be instructions or dialogue or colors…I do have visions during meditation also. So….here we go.
Private devotion/meditation made public:
God/Spirit: God makes you grow. If you outgrow you have to be uprooted and planted elsewhere. We are not necessarily talking about a physical move as much as a spiritual transplant. One of your favorite scriptures you received the first time you read it is: Psalm 1:3
(Note to you: I use to read this scripture as a child and say I want to be a tree planted by the waters before I knew what that meant. I found it peaceful.)
3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Nicole, you feel unstable because you are being transferred. You are ready to be planted by the rivers of water. Uprooting is unsettling but, know you are in my hands. Seed has been planted, water has been given, I gave the increase and now you have to move. It’s what you always wanted. Fear not. You’re welcome.
Me: Wait. I wasn’t there already? I wasn’t already planted by the rivers of water?
God/Spirit: You were there and are there. This is awareness of the process. You see the end but you live the process in this realm…and as you grow you will see more of the “before you can ask, think of it, I will answer.”