You cannot have a vision for the ministry God has given you. Especially, if it makes other people uncomfortable. It must match their vision God hasn’t given them as non-pastor and it must match other pastors’ vision for their own ministries.

You cannot outgrow the building you start in. Ever. It doesn’t matter if you are spilling out of the building.

You cannot be too perfect and you cannot make mistakes, errors, or sin. Forgiveness is for others. It’s never for you.

You cannot be associated with anyone not of the same faith as you and you cannot be associated with celebrities. You cannot be around people that do not think like you under any circumstances.

You can’t have a better car or home than the people you shepherd. You cannot have better clothing. It doesn’t matter if you take your salary, that is yours, and buy it. You just can’t look like you are prospering, managing your money, investing your money, ever. You can’t have a good credit score or savings.

You must only work for the church but at the same time for some people you must also have a job outside of that because Paul had one and Paul said something to that effect. It doesn’t matter if you are not Paul. You must satisfy people by doing the impossible. And that is, satisfying everyone.

You cannot take your own money and invest in real estate or any business. It may generate wealth and remember, you cannot be wealthy although you preach and teach abundance in every area, you as a pastor cannot practice what you preach.

You cannot run your ministry how you want to (how God and you decide) without checking with other pastors because “other pastors” forbid you do anything that is not to their liking or what they deem is not of God. You couldn’t possibly have gotten clearance with God. You must always do what your denomination tells you to do.

You cannot write a book and become a best seller. It is evil. You can’t take that money and do what you want to with it. You must give it all back to the community and your congregation. The congregation and the community are never responsible for their finances or circumstances.

You must hold conferences and not charge people because you are a pastor and everything you do must be for free. Everything you do must come out of the church funds and your pocket. Because they pay you enough. And you wrote all of those books. And you invested in stocks. And you own land. And you own businesses. Don’t ever charge for a conference.

I say all of these things with the same extreme and ridiculousness energy they are often given. I say it from the perspective of a pastor’s child. Don’t pastor. Don’t pastor unless you have thick skin. Don’t pastor unless you are prepared to be lied on and talked about. Don’t pastor unless you are prepared to be left high and dry by friends and flock in your worse of times or if you don’t say yes to their request. Don’t pastor unless you are called by God and not by yourself or people.

~Nikki

Oh, I forgot, if you start out with a salary of $1200 a year and YOUR congregation decide to increase that because they can afford to, say no. Say not every year. If they can give you a salary of $120,000 say no. Say no even though you have to go more and do more to spread the gospel. Don’t let them love you and want to take care of you because they know what you mean to them. The outsiders will be upset! They will say you are taking the tithes and offering and you are taking those poor people’s money. Don’t know how I could have forgotten that one.

Oh and this is on top of non-believers of your religion and non-believers of God chiming in. Everyone will have something to say and criticize.

Isaiah 52:7 New King James Version (NKJV)How beautiful upon the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who proclaims peace, Who brings glad tidings of good things, Who proclaims salvation, Who says to Zion, “Your God reigns!”