The heart needs time to heal. My heart needs more time. How can it heal when people that are close to you leave this earthly realm too close together? I got the news this morning that a very dear friend of mine had left this earthly realm. It had been several days of waiting.
I woke up at 5 am and I got up to start my day earlier than usual. I meditated. Then I started to work on a project and remembered I had not prayed. I started to pray around 5:45 maybe 6 something and I thought of my friend. I almost said, “Lord, let your will be done” but then I stopped at “Lord, let your…”. I couldn’t say it and I told God why. I told God that I was afraid to say it because God’s will may not be my will or her will. I told God that I don’t know what her will is. I don’t know if she is fighting to stay or fighting to leave. So, I just said to God, “Lord, you know.”
Later, at about 9:45 her cousin called to tell she had passed this morning. And all-day yesterday memories flooded my mind. It was a bit overwhelming. My day was saddened and bumpy. I laughed at many of the memories. Oh, the trouble and situations we got in!
I did work on some projects. I did exercise. I had leftovers, lemon pie, currently binge watching Chicago PD, surfing the web, and I will play a game on the computer later after I finish this post. I know I will need a sedative for the night. Then I thought about my brother that passed away. My god mother that passed away. Another classmate and husband of another dear friend passed away. I said aloud, “When does the heart have time to heal? When things like this are back-to-back and all of trouble in the world? My heart needs time to heal.”