Confession: When you have been born and raised in the church, brace yourself, you get tired of church. Sometimes when you are a regular attendee of church you can get weary or just plain tired. Right there is where most people will begin a rant about God and be not weary in well doing. I said church. Not God. Not well-doing. There is a difference. As an adult child of a pastor, I still get tired or bored with the routine of church, the politics of church and I get weary of the outsiders and former insiders looking in from the outside judging the church not knowing how to separate the church from people and the Divine.
The first time this happened to me I didn’t know what it was. I could hardly put it into words but, my actions had no problem expressing how I felt. I stopped going to church. For six months I did nothing much except got a Word from a pastor on T.V., read or visited my home church from time to time. I didn’t know what I had lost. The church was excellent in Word and knowledge but, I could not get past the red tape of leadership and I could not use my gifts. In hindsight I could see that as being the problem mostly for me…not for them so much. The Word at that church changed me from a hearer to a person who could apply the wisdom of the Bible to my life. It gave me insight and understanding I can use for the rest of my life. I am a better person and woman because of it. I think it was just time for me to leave. I had gotten what I came for and I gave what was required.
After six months I found another church home. It has been about three or four years…my zeal has wavered again. It wasn’t until last week I found out it was called “zeal”. It came to me on a Sunday morning sitting in my den looking out the window. I asked over and over what is wrong with me? I can’t feel anything. The word ZEAL popped in my mind. You have lost your Zeal again. Well, who’s fault is that? And the same voice said “Ultimately, yours. You are responsible for your zeal.”. I will start the next blog next week on why you are responsible for your zeal. Note: There are many reasons we will explore about why you lose your zeal and what you can do to get it back and keep it! By the way, you can also lose a zeal for anything and I hope this series will help someone.