I remember my parents telling me when I was in school “Your education comes first. You don’t have time for boys.” I can’t say I always listened to this instruction but, I can say it always came back to me. I tell my daughter to focus on her education while she is in school and eventually, college and not on boys. This is the time to figure out what makes you happy and what you enjoy. In other words, don’t make boys your priority. Impress yourself.
Well, as a woman, I want to tell you, I still don’t have time for boys. However, I do have time for men. I don’t have time for boys for different reasons other than education and trying to figure out what makes me happy and what I enjoy ( I was a late bloomer in that area and I am still figuring some things out). When you are mature in your emotions, when you are working towards achieving a more fulfilling life, be it socially, emotionally, physically, etc you don’t have time for boys. Boys will jerk your emotions around. Boys will destabilize your foundation. Boys will waste your time. Boys will play games. Boys don’t know what they want. They are still trying to figure out their role as a man. Sure they work. Sure some have financial goals but when it comes to relationships I find boys are still in it for selfish gain. I find men are in it for the satisfaction of themselves and their partner. I think you can be a man in many areas but a boy in other areas. I think the same about women. We can be a woman about our financial affairs but, a girl when it comes to what we allow in a relationship. What I mean by both of those statements is it comes down to growth and maturity. When you were a child, you acted like a child but when you became an adult, you should have or at least be aggressively working on putting away childish motives, attitudes, actions, fears and phobias.
Let me clarify this: I have time for men, who may be boys in an area but, are doing their best to grow in the area of love and relationships. However, I can’t allow the repeated abuse of my heart.
You cannot have balance if you do not ground yourself first-Nicole Jackson via Holy Spirit. I asked this question this morning during “coffee” meditation and this is the answer given to me. In my study this year to become my Authentic Self, I am on the subject “Balance and Grounding.”
“Ground YOURSELF in YOUR beliefs as it relates to your religion and beyond (yourself, world views). Know what it is YOU believe and understand it. Know what it is YOU don’t believe and why it is you don’t believe it. Whatever you believe and do must be grounded in love or you will not have balance. ”
“I am not upset with you, I will not disown you, I will not pay you back, for not believing everything you read or hear. What kind of God would I be? I created you a reasoning being but, I also created you spiritual. In due time, you will understand or have no need to understand. You have all of eternity to understand (study and research) or experience (trials, errors, success-no such thing as failure) what you don’t “get” or “feel”. I am patient. Nothing can separate you from my love. You don’t have to feel guilty about not understanding or not believing or not agreeing.”
“Know this: There are spiritual laws in effect and earthly laws in effect. I have covered all the bases for your success…even if it doesn’t look like success.”
Grounding. I got it. I can get it. I have to take some time to figure out what I believe and what beliefs I have outgrown. Including the ones about myself. I can’t keep putting on beliefs I have outgrown via understanding and experience-growth. I probably look like a graduate trying to sit at the Kindergarten table in order to please the Teachers.
For those of us who are single and want love again/who pretend we don’t want love again:
In the effort to protect your heart, as you learn from your mistakes when it comes to love and depending on others, don’t become a rock. In your independence, your mantra “I don’t need a man” and “I can do it all by myself”, don’t become a rock. In your rise to the top of your field, in building your own legacy, don’t become a rock. In the event, love comes to you in the form of a man, he doesn’t want to lay next to a rock. He doesn’t want to sit across the table from a rock. He doesn’t want to have a conversation with a rock. He doesn’t mind you being a rock, he just doesn’t want you to become a rock. It’s hard to cuddle with a rock. It’s challenging to be vulnerable with a rock.
What I am saying to you is, these things we go through in life as women are designed to make us strong…like a rock. The things we learn are meant to make us wiser not meaner. The not so good choices we make are designed to teach us insight into our own being. Broken hearts give us empathy towards others. Broken promises make us weigh the promises we make before we make them and give us the power to keep the ones we make. We learn to forgive so we can heal.
Yes, be a rock. Yes, be strong. Yes, be resilient. Embody the qualities of a rock. Don’t become a rock. A rock doesn’t feel. A rock doesn’t laugh. A rock doesn’t love. A rock doesn’t feel. Don’t lose your vulnerability. It is beautiful. We just become wiser as to to whom to share it with.
I AM Power.
I dance to the music in my heart.
I change my mind therefore I have the power to correct my thinking to adjust my emotions and to change the direction of my course.
I refrain from judging other women’s path and decisions. I find ways to assist them instead.
I appreciate other’s differences and beauty.
I don’t need anyone’s approval to do what I came here to do.
My relationship with the Divine is mines and it is unique.
I express myself in my own way. It is my right.
I rise and I fly.
My beauty begins on the inside and radiates on the outside.