44 YEARS NOW.

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I am excited about being 44 years old. I am excited as if it’s the number 45, 50, 21, 30 or 40. I am excited with that kind of energy. My birthday is my New Year. It’s a Happy Birthday New Year for me.

Each year I am given my marching orders or divine to do and to be list. There are certain books I am lead to read, certain things I am lead to try, and this year is different because the “Word” came early. When I think of the number 44 the first thing I notice is the double 4’s. I understand this spiritually as foundation, stability, support, anchored down, solid, ready to build upon. As I dug deeper, I related to the worthiness, ability to make my dreams come true. It’s more than effort. It’s about willpower. It’s about timing. It’s not longer about seed. It’s about timing. I can firmly look inward for my wisdom. I must clearly define my dreams and desires. It’s all about hard work and reaping the rewards. I am fully supported by the Creator and my angels.

I also think of the word “Presidential” when I think of the number 44. 44 is a time of well planned leadership. It’s a time of responsibility for myself and others. It’s a time of confident execution of plans and remaining flexible. It’s a time for executive decision making with careful thought and precision. Timing. Pushback and veto the negative.

Taking you just a little further into my depth and understanding of who I am, seeing the 444 during this time, waking up to it in the wee hours of the morning, signifies passion and drive and divine communication. I am here. I am doing. I am listening. I bar none. Full speed ahead.

My scripture for the year:

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Hello 44. How YOU doing?

~Nikki

7 Things from My 43 Journey

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Its my birthday eve, and I want to leave you with seven things from my 43: The It Is Well Within Tour.

  1. You don’t have to allow craziness, madness, chaos, because the person is your parent or relative. Set boundaries. Yes, set boundaries for your family.
  2. Remove yourself, Let me help you remove yourself, I will remove myself to maintain peace within.
  3. I realized I would never have the relationship I desired to have with a “relative”. I was both sad and relieved. I could stop trying and start figuring out how to best deal with them.
  4. It’s not me, it’s you. You’re fake and I don’t do fake. I also don’t entertain liars and cheaters. They are not good for my heart or health.
  5. Cry. Pray. Meditate. Laugh. Repeat.
  6. I am expanding my circle to those that vibe well with me and I with them instead of making it smaller because of the negativity I’ve experienced in the past.
  7. Keeping my within helps me to control my without.

~Nikki

Single Life Confetti: Dear Journal

Dear Journal,

What the hell was I thinking going out there in the cesspool of the dating pool? AGAIN. I can’t swim. I should have just stayed on the edge of the pool dangling my feet in the water and heck, even they can be bait for sharks! Exhale.

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Where is my towel? I dry myself off from inconsistency, a pattern of disappearing on the weekends, excuses, and an emotional attachment to an ex. Yuck! I need a shower. “Someone call a bus!” (Random. I’ve been watching a Blue Bloods marathon 😀 )

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When you have been dating as long as I have you either are going to cycle in the same mistakes or mature and spiral up and out. You are either going to recognize what’s going on and ignore it or find power in the choice to see it and leave it. Yes. Have patience and “see” and then once you see it, believe it, and leave it. Now, back to my shower. I need to shower in silence and distance. I need to cleanse my psyche of that person being a possibility for now or forever. It just depends. I am open, but I don’t stay open to foolishness or a person that is not ready for dating seriously. And that does not make them a bad person (well the one that is not ready and has issues to resolve), it just makes them not a good match for me. It doesn’t make me perfect and without issues, it just makes me unwilling to put myself through the drama and trauma. Let’s face it. I’ve had enough at 43. I should know what I can handle and what I can’t.

Thanks Journal. You always listen without judging me!

~Nikki

The Single Confetti Life Continues

 

 

 

 

Five Things About 42 Before 43

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  1. It was legendary because I stretched out my faith, moved beyond my fears, and took leaps
  2. Some wounds by those closest to you can change the dynamics of the relationship forever even after you have forgiven them
  3. Not my circus. Not my monkey. Liberation.
  4. I don’t need anyone to sign off on my relationship with God. No one gets to decide if I am a REAL CHRISTIAN. Liberation
  5. I don’t need to be believed or understood. I don’t need to explain. I am who I am. I be who I be. Liberation.

~Nikki

My 42 Journey was about Liberation and Legendary Actions

Late Bloomers

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Dear Late Bloomers, Don’t be deterred by your age. Hold on to the promise and the Promise Keeper-Hart Ramsey

As a very late bloomer when it comes to doing the things I love and learning the things I have always wanted to do, it can be disheartening to hear and read all of the YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE BY NOW posts, blogs, and lectures. Or to tell someone what you are doing and they look at you sideways or even chuckle. At your age? Well, I thought age was just a number. I thought it was okay to “do me” I mean after all, I’ve done what everyone else wanted me to do and things I never wanted to do…so….

Listen, we late bloomers have already figured out why it took us so long or we wouldn’t be doing what we are doing. We have already analyzed, reflected, and are continuing our education on our life as you should be on yours (just saying). So let us bloom and get out of our sunlight. Help us weed with good advice. Water us with encouragement and support. We are planted and rooted and we are now sure of ourselves and what we want to do. Applause. We have arrived and we are working towards our dreams and goals.

~Nikki