Woman 2 Woman

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~Nikki

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Discoveries From “My Authentic Self” Journey 2016

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I HAVE FOUND THE POWER BEHIND MY VOICE AGAIN.

I’d lost the power behind my voice. I would say something and when someone would challenge what I said, I would try to explain. If someone would insult my intelligence I would just ignore it. When in reality I wanted to assert myself or opinion. They made me feel as if my thoughts, my opinions, my feelings were wrong and theirs were right. They were not trying to get an UNDERSTANDING of Nicole, they were trying to get a session to berate me. They were trying to have a debate about what I THOUGHT, I FELT, OR I BELIEVE.  Some wanted to tell me what I should feel and think when I had already told them what I thought and felt. They wanted to argue for the sake of arguing and not seek to understand. Many times, they wanted me to THINK as they THINK. Feel what they feel.

Let me tell you about Nicole. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you feel about politics, the Bible, gay people, cakes, pies, sports, natural hair, permed hair, tutus, etc. I don’t care enough to argue with you about it, to try and change you, to insult you. I have an understanding that you and I are two different people. We all are individuals with similarities and differences based on how we were raised, religions, race, experiences, and environments. I seek to understand your view and perspective. I don’t seek to destroy your theory, crush your heart, and tear your views a part. I get no joy or satisfaction out of being right or making you look stupid. I don’t feel empowered when I use a plethora of verbal assaults and curse words. I don’t seek to demean you, I seek to learn more about you.

The POWER in my voice to say “Look, if you want to discuss why I think the way I think, feel the way I feel, view the way I view, believe what I believe that is what we can do. If you are trying to understand me, that is awesome. I don’t need you to change me. I don’t mind being enlightened and even that is a choice of consciousness and you cannot beat it into me by belittling my religion/ideas/beliefs. You cannot change my preferences by calling me dumb or saying that’s stupid or calling me out of my name.”

The POWER TO BE QUIET is an option. The ability to discern when a person wants to argue and not discuss is sharpened. If I discover, “Oh, this is an argument to show me how stupid that sounds or how I should think like them or how I don’t make sense because they can’t comprehend it…” to say “Hey, let’s talk about something else because I am not going to change my thoughts or feelings” is POWER behind your voice. I don’t have to explain a damn thing about me. I don’t even want you to explain a damn thing about you that I don’t “get.” I’m not here to “get” everything about everybody or you. I am here to understand and when I don’t that is okay. When I don’t agree, that is okay. When I ask, trust me it will be to better understand you as a person and not to change your mind. It will be to exchange views and not to exchange profanity, put downs, rolled eyes, insults, conversion, etc.

~Nikki

 

Using Scents for “Such a Time as This”

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In a time where your spirit is feeling some type of way (upset about the choice of Hate over Hope for me), or you need to get back on track and focused on your goals, dreams, and the TRUE vision of your religion (which I hope is UNITY and LOVE and TREATING EVERYONE WITH RESPECT AND THE RIGHT TO SERVE WHO THEY CHOOSE), I have received these two scents to burn in my home: Cinnamon and Vanilla.

You can burn oil, incense or a candle (and if you don’t like the strong smell of those the candle would be a better option). The aromatherapy and power of smell is underestimated by many because they lack knowledge in that area. And to be honest I never liked neither of the smells I mentioned. However, the urge to have those scents have changed and change according to the what is in my atmosphere or the atmosphere of the world. It is all about energy and I am not feeling the energy in my country.

Why Cinnamon?

Cinnamon can be overpowering and that is the type of energy  you need to conquer strong emotions/energy of DIVISIVENESS, HATRED, RACISM, PREJUDICE, MISOGYNISTIC-ISM, EVIL and so on. It is an invigorating sent. A come alive scent. A bring you back to LOVE and POWER scent. I read where cinnamon was added to Holy Oil and burned. Cinnamon is powerful for healing and yes, I feel there will need to be some serious healing in this country all the more. Cinnamon makes you feel warm, safe, and protected. With minorities feeling unsafe, not welcomed and unprotected  I can understand why I was spiritually lead to this scent. Our children are afraid and this scent in the home can help with reassuring them. Perhaps if you are wonderful educator, not biased or prejudice, you could use a little in your class room. It is very uplifting. I have some cinnamon scented pine cones and you only need two or three. It is very very overwhelming in a small space if you use more. It also sharpens the mind by taking a whiff of it. I use it in my coffee.

Why vanilla?

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It brings about joy and relaxations also!

If you have vanilla oil you can take ground cinnamon and sprinkle some in. A duel effect of energy flowing through your home. And as I mentioned before, candles are a more softer form of the scents than oil and incense in my opinion.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A Life Shattered & Scattered

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Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. -Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 11

…been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. -Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 11

Good grief Paul! I can relate! Many of us can relate whom lives seem to be on some random game board where things happen at the spin of the wheel. Can we get some consistency other than the “bad” things that seem to happen all of the time. We spend time grasping for memories of good times, we write our five things to be grateful for, we are constantly searching for the silver lining or the light at the end of many tunnels. Some of us don’t ask why because we are use to it. Some of us ask why anyways (that would be me) in an effort to try to understand the method to the madness. As I sit here and type, adjusting my body and hear my hip make a loud pop, I laugh. Yes, body, I am writing about you! And much more!

So what do we do? Those who seem to be plague with a series of unfortunate events. We recognize that grace is sufficient and power works best in weakness.

Charis (/ˈkeɪrɪs/; Greek: Χάρις) is a given name derived from a Greek word meaning “grace, kindness”. In Greek mythology, a Charis is one of the Charites (Greek: Χάριτες) or “Graces”, goddesses of charm, beauty, nature, human creativity and fertility; and in Homer’s Iliad, Charis is the wife of Hephaestus.

The ability to get through the things we go through comes through grace (kindness). We go through being kind to ourselves and others. I am still growing in grace or kindness for myself, but I have plenty of grace for others who suffer. God, the Creator of the Universe says the grace given to us is sufficient. It’s enough to get us through those times. I think through these hard times you can become a Charis. You become one with charm, beauty, nature, human creativity and fertility (in a sense reproductive through creativity or giving life to others who suffer).

When I look at the words “My (God) power works best in weakness” I think of it as when I am at my weak points, the pushing through is the power. It is the strength to keep going. It is the strength to choose life. It is the will to live. It is the fight in us. We emerge stronger and stronger.

You may ask, “Well, when it be over? When will I get to just live my life with so many trials and tribulations?” I can’t answer that. I don’t know. I do know one thing I have decided to do, and I hope you will join me, is to live my life with POWER. Do I get tired? Yes. Do we get down , depressed, oppressed, and filled with anxiety at times? Yes. Do we get angry? Yes. But through those dark times in the tunnels we may rest, but we refocus on the light. We get ourselves together and we walk or run towards the light to bask in it again. And sometimes we have to stand at the end of the tunnel encouraging someone else to come on through. We may have to go back in and get somebody. We do it because we have gained strength.

How long will the light last? I am tired of tunnels (I know right?!!!). If we, get enough wisdom in us, enough affirmations, confidence, a knowing that we will get through whatever comes our way, well, we can carry a light within. We may have trouble lighting it sometimes, but we are boys and girl scouts in the spirit and we know how to start a fire! Thoughts are like matches or the sticks you rub together in this situation. You have to begin with affirmations, reading positive material, reciting scriptures, thinking about the times you made it through before, imagining life the way you want to see it. Power rises from within even when you are looking without for inspiration. After going through so much in my 41 years I realize I am the light and I don’t have to wait until I get to the end of the tunnel(sickness, illness, tragedy, trial, etc). I shine wherever darkness is. That is power.

~Nikki “You don’t have to wait until you get to the end of the tunnel to receive light.You are the light within the tunnel. Someday, I hope you realize this.”- Nicole Jackson

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From Breakdown to Build Up

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When I gave birth to my daughter, I suffered from post partum depression. Suddenly, my worst fears took over and I felt incompetent as a mother. I felt she would be better off without me because of the things that happened to me in the past. No one protected me and I couldn’t protect myself. I thought there is no way I could protect her. I had an irrational fear that the same things that happened to me would happen to her. I was on the verge of a serious breakdown. As a matter of fact, I was having a breakdown.

As I was getting the help I needed, the doctor asked me what is the one thing you gained from this ordeal, the one thing you feel about yourself? I thought for a second and out of my mouth came these words “I am stronger than I think.” She looked directly at me and said “Yes you are. You are stronger than you think.”

I have used those words throughout my life to get me through some serious tough times and some pitch black moments. I use those words often when I feel as though too much is happening and I am losing the battle. I use those words to push through. I also have realized I am smarter than I think. I am also braver than I think. When you say these things to yourself over a period of time, even at what appears to be the worst time, they take root in your core. And it’s as if the Creator or angels take hold of that anchor in your soul and help pull you through. I have learned if you just try a thing, learn a thing, you can do it. Especially if it’s your calling or your gifts and talents. I want you to know today…

You are stronger than you think or believe. You are smarter and you are braver. Look at all that you have survived and now it is time to thrive. You survive by living your best life, by walking in your destiny with confidence and becoming the beautiful being you were created to be. You are more than a conqueror. The build up is in what you tell yourself in the dark times to get you back to the light. The build up is in what you say and not what you feel at the time…you say it until you feel it and you recall the other times you pulled through to give you strength.

~Nikki

Mood: Strong