In my country, it’s election month. But in actuality it’s been election year 24 hours and 7 days a week. I wish there were no political ads or news on Saturdays and Sundays on any outlet. This is the fourth very important presidential election I have lived through along with a pandemic. There have been times I have “hated it here” and by here I don’t mean the country. I mean the “atmosphere” of hatred. The stench of lies and putrefied pride of many. I have been stumped at the ignorance and outright stupidity of people that otherwise, have an education and the ability to research, not google truth.
However, it needed to happen. All of it. It’s not a game of mercy. It’s a reaping of seeds sown. It’s a GREAT FALL that has come after the PRIDE. I wonder if we will be getting up from the hog pin or nope…just getting started rolling around in the mud. And even if we do get up, slowly, surely, the survey of the damage done…unfathomable. Progress takes a long time but, destruction takes seconds, minutes, days, a bill here, a policy here, or an appointment there. In the Bible, they wanted a king and God gave them Saul. They cried. No. It wasn’t tears of joy.
During this HADES of election month, because it will not be determined the next day, I have decided to take refuge in the God I serve and solitude in the things and people I love. I will preserve my mental health and my emotional well-being. I will utilize every tool from therapy and therapy itself. There will be prayer and meditation and yoga. Fire round me. Glory in the midst. There will peace in this house.
What’s calling me isn’t church pews this morning or a Sunday morning “preach at” or struggle sermon. What is calling me is meditation, coffee, nature, the beach, fresh strawberries, and some way to express my thoughts and emotions. A good soul message is calling me. One that I can resonate with. Some yoga is calling me to the mat. Water is calling me.
The heart is yearning for a twin flame and soul mate wrapped into one but, spirit is saying patience. And by patience it could be days, months, and more years. Exactly how to be at peace with that is a challenge. You have to move forward with dreams and goals and life moves forward with or without you. This is fairly easy for some and not so easy for us lovers and romantics but, it is what it is. The heart is calling and the spirit is waiting.
Goals and dreams are calling to be written and carried out. The next step is blinking like a cursor on a blank page. It feels like a demand. The hows and whys for a person like me with anxiety and depression floating around make it very challenging to get it done or to do it in spite of feelings. I have to work around or press on and believe me that is tiring. I wish I had some help other than Spirit. I mean I wish I had support in the form of a mate. I am just doing what I do when I say that. I am sharing the private thoughts of some of us single people. Please, don’t try to correct us or redirect us. Not today. It’s our honesty that needs to be expressed and examined by us.
I don’t know where I am going today but, I do know where I am not going and what I am not doing. I do have to do a better job at communicating this to others who are making demands on a life and time that do not belong to them.
On Wednesday I chatted with you about experiencing life and one of those things that brings about experiencing life is spontaneity. October invites this and I took Saturday morning to do just that. I really like cars but, I really have a love for antique cars. As you know, I am single and sometimes being single can cause us to shrink back from spontaneous behavior. I know it can be a personality thing as well but, I think that should be challenged from time to time. Especially, in relationships.
So, I really wanted to share this experience with a friend but, they were unable to attend with me because they had a busy Saturday. I contemplated going but, I have missed so many car shows because I wanted to share the experience and because some involved traveling out of town. Well, I pushed myself to get up and head out to not miss doing something I loved to do in the past with friends before I became a mother. My daughter also has an appreciation for antique cars because I have shared that love with her.
I am so glad I went to this Fall Edge Motorfest in Memphis, TN sponsored by Edge Motor Museum also located in Memphis. I enjoyed it and it was the perfect day for it! Perfect weather! I hope this show continues to grow. It was free and my little heart was happy with all of the chrome, creativity, and mind blowing mint condition machines a girl could imagine packed into a Saturday morning. By the time I finished taking photos and gasping, it was time to eat. On my way back to my car, I stopped at High Cotton Brewery for brunch! It was my first time there and this was also, unplanned. The service and food was great. I will be back and soon!
October’s energy is calling for you to experience every morsel of life. Put your phone down and your devices away and experience life by ENGAGING in conversations without distractions. Engage the people in your space. LOOK at them. ADMIRE their beauty, intellect, smile, and laughter. Have dinner with someone and enjoy the flow of chatter and silence without having to fill that silence with you picking up the phone to “hop on social media right quick.”
EXPERIENCE nature and observe it. Take it all in. EXPERIENCE your walk in the park or the neighborhood. WAVE to people. SMILE at people. NOTICE what has changed in nature or your environment. What smells waft through the air? What insects or animals do you see? Have the leaves changed? Jump in a pile of leaves. Yes. Even at your age remain playful always!
Experience life by, brace yourself, TRYING SOMETHING NEW! Yes, try the new restaurant. Yes, try something different on the menu. Shock your mate lol! Yes, drive a different way to work. Walk at a new park. Try a new thing like baking or try your hand at keeping a plant alive. Take an online course about something! TRY! TRYING brings about new experiences that birth ideas, new likes or confirmed dislikes, and experience! You never know unless you…try.
October invites SPONTENEITY. Change it up. Change it all up. Change a few things around. You don’t always have to nail down every detail. Call up a few friends for a zoom cocktail party. Invite a few over practicing social distancing and Covid 19 practices. Set up your area such as chairs around a fire pit or outdoor setting. You can set up the inside depending on how comfortable YOU are with this and how well you know your FRIENDS. Do something spontaneous with your mate. Buy flowers for no reason. Bring home their favorite dessert. Bribe yourself to listen to an opera or to watch the romantic movie they love so much but, have seen 100 times. You can make it a night with movie snacks or healthy snacks. You can make it like a picnic. How about an indoor movie night picnic?! How about a real picnic in the park?
Yes…October is calling for you to EXPERIENCE LIFE!
October is a time to plan and prioritize. If you are running on fumes, disorganized, and frazzled this may be the time to STOP, MAKE the time and get yourself together. I understand “organized chaos” but, do you understand the universe’s response to it? More chaos. What’s still on the table to be accomplished by the end of the year or what needs to be moved to next year? It’s time to stop “thinking” about a thing and time to start “planning and prioritizing” to make it happen.
October’s energy, vibe, season is to review and revise. What has worked for you and what has not this year? What do you want to end and what do you want to continue for next year? And I am speaking from careers to relationships and your health habits. Speaking of health habits, you do know this is flu season. So, whatever precautions you take please take them and more. Do all that you can do nutritionally and physically because we have Covid 19 in the midst. Remember: CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS.
I’m looking at my side hustle. I am thinking about what I really want for my future financially. Please don’t worry about your age because it’s never too late to do better! It’s past time for the “I want and I wish” era and I am moving into action plans. I am doing it with fear (talked about that in yesterday’s blog), I am doing it with anxiety, and I am doing it in spite of. I am willing to make mistakes and to learn from them immediately.
I am accessing my spiritual journey. Where do I go from here? Prayer and meditation helps me to see if what I desire is in synch with my Higher Self and my God. How I FEEL when I think about doing these things guide me. Do I feel freedom and joy or do I feel bound and misery. I also have to do this with the same fear of being rejected by own religion and leaders of that community.
These are just a few things scattered across my table as I organize and prioritize life in general. I have also looked at what did not serve me or work for me this year. It did not serve my sanity and peace of mind to stay on board at church. It may have served the church itself, it may have benefited the leader, but it did not serve my mind and spirit. There were a few really good highlight reels of accomplishments and I will hold on to that. I will gather the lessons and apply it as needed.
Romantic relationships started off my year as HUGE DISASTERS! Needless to say I was shell shocked for some months. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone for a while. So, where does that leave me now? Where are relationships on my planning and prioritizing? I’ve done well getting over 90% of that. I am apprehensive about others in my emotional space and I have to: 1. Understand that’s normal after what happened. 2. Don’t let it cloud the possibilities. Prioritize my mental health and emotional well-being has been the continued work in this area.
If I say “prophetic” your ears perk up or this is the “season” you get excited. So put that where I say “energy”. October’s energy brings to us a time to FACE OUR FEARS. Whatever it is you need to do (whatever it is Yeshua tells you to do, do it) DO IT with BOLDNESS and do it in spite the fear you may feel. When you run towards fear it runs away. It gets out the way. Courage is built by continuously trying and succeeding. There is no failure. Only LESSONS. -Nikki, fluid in tradition, non-denomination, spirit, dreams, the deep (deep meaning God and I on something else), loving people that don’t believe what I believe without shade.
October, is that you? Wow, I thought with all that was going on in 2020 you might not make it! Or maybe, show up looking spring and smelling like winter. You know these are crazy times we are living in said by every generation at some point or every decade. In 2020, every day or so. So, what does October bring? What can we do with our October that will help us every day?
Side Note: This has nothing to do with this blog post but, have you set your October goals? Okay. Now back to what can help us each day in October.
October brings to us a 5 energy when added to the 4 energy of 2020 (If you are like what?!!! Don’t worry about it. Just eat the fish and spit out the bones. In other words, grab what works for you and the leave the rest). There would be much to sift through but, I pulled some major highlights,
Face your fears this month. Face your fear EVERYDAY this month. DEAL. Do it anyway type of energy. In spite of doubt, naysayers, do it. TRY IT. TRY it again. Try it another way. Try.
This is a crossroads type of month. What do you want to do with the rest of the year? What needs to change? Job? Career? Relationships? Mindset? You? Location?
October is all about PLANNING and PRIORITIZING. Without planning and prioritizing you create chaos and chaos is stressful! Change is going to happen so you may as well be as prepared as one can be.
Prepare for 2021. What?! Yes. NOW is the time to think about 2021 and the direction you want it to go.
I enjoyed my sabbatical last month. I will eventually write about some of the things I observed this month. I hope OCTOBER brings you a harvest of good, plenty, and peace.
When I decorate for Fall or any season, it’s usually something I got on clearance last year for the following year, something I already have and things around the house moved from other rooms. I also set a limit on what I am going to buy, if at all, anything during the actual season. My splurge this year were the black and white pumpkins. I also frequent the Dollar Tree and other dollar stores. So, here we are this year with my fall decorations on a dime.
I did some black , white, and gray in my den area. I thought it was interesting to have those colors for fall. My center piece below, is a mixture of things around the house and ribbon from Dollar Tree. The clear and metal piece is actually a necklace! The wood block is from the At Home Store and was $4. I added a splash of color here.
This is just a tray I actually use
with a candle, another wood
block from last year and
a cute shoe ring holder given
to me as a souvenir. I kept it
simple because I use this tray!
In the downstairs bathroom I added more color using Dollar Tree and Target pumpkins, flower picks from Tuesday Morning, and artwork I’ve had for a decade stored in the closet.
Finally, this fall decor below is on my patio near the entrance. You actually enter my condo from the patio do it’s the place of most traffic.
Wednesday we headed up to Iowa to visit extended family and my nephew. We spent half of our time in Oskaloosa and the other half in Cedar Rapids. Today we are on our way back home to Memphis, TN. I’m always excited when I get to travel and when it’s to certain places because of what it offers. Although, traveling to me has been a challenge since Rheumatoid and Fibromyalgia, I still enjoy it. Some places offer shopping, outlet malls, great places to eat, all forms of entertainment from concerts, plays, and museums to live sporting events. There’s the party atmosphere, site seeing, and adventures to get into. And some places, I look forward to simply do much of nothing while gaining much. Oskaloosa is one of those places. A very small town with character. Here I gain perspective, introspection and seem to re-center easily.
I don’t know many who would pick this place or many who have heard of it but, there are numerous of hidden gems and sanctuaries of peace and quiet all over the earth including the United States. What I like about visiting with my brother, his extended family that became mine is the way it pulls you into a slowed down way of life almost immediately. There is no business to take care of and there is no busyness. There is no party to get dressed up for and not a stitch of make up needed. I was in my jeans and 49ers T-shirts every day. There is no hustle and bustle of city life, malls, and outlets. But there are thrifts stores and consignment shops to take your time (my brother may disagree) to stroll and sift through. There is no real agenda or itinerary. We eat with our family and after most meals we play a board game. We sit and watch sports. We have silly and meaningful conversations. We try to put puzzles together that are on a board (I rarely have luck with that.)
The one thing I really enjoyed this time is that I wasn’t obligated to anyone. I was too far away to hear or care about the drama and nonsense of church business, power trips, and antics. I am just being as honest as always and exercising MY decision to be transparent for helpful purposes. It’s okay to be tired of religious STUFF and the business of it. I felt free while I was away and now that I am back, I still feel free. In this small town, I felt off the grid and kept my social media to a minimum. I like being in my room in their house on a comfy bed of quilts with a big tree to gaze at in the day and opened blinds with the moonlight seeping through at night. I liked existing without millions of things to do. It was like an extension of a Saturday evening from my childhood for three days.
I wanted to start this paragraph by saying “when giants fall” but, Justice Ginsburg didn’t fall, she laid down her life. I think when “giants” and icons or heroes/heroines die, they are such fighters they simply have made a decision to lay down their lives. They have not only truly fought the GOOD FIGHT, they have fought the RIGHT fights. I imagine it not to be an easy choice. Anyone who loves fighting for justice or the rights of others ENJOYS a good fight as much as they do victory. I know I do. I enjoy fighting for good change no matter the level it is on or how small it may seem. I am a right is right type a girl with an understanding there are gray areas.
She was fierce in her fight for equality. She was fierce in her fight for women’s rights. Who will ever fill that enormous void? No one fights for a woman like another woman that knows the what it is like to be a woman. Plus, one that is not bound by her own party or religion. She was like a David in modern times. Small in stature BIG in FIGHT. The understanding that not everything should be based on one group of people’s religious rules but, that it should be based on an individuals rights. I think because I understand that my religion is not other people’s choice and they don’t have to live their lives by my religious standards. I choose not to judge them in that manor.
I like it that she fought fair. She fought with the law and did not manipulate it to be in her favor or a particular party’s favor. So much can be said about the current administration and their hell bent ways to skew everything in their favor and to outright do injustices and look the other way. The American people will pay another heavy price as they are now paying a heavy price for their unchecked checkered past. Our children, grandchildren, and great-grand children will pay for generations to come.
These historic icons, in all segments of life from Kobe Bryant to Ruth Bader Ginsburg is speaking to us with the volume up way past 10. It is now a choice to cover your ears and to pretend as if you do not hear it. Oh, there are other legends in the making. Who will step in to the shoes left behind? Someone will.
Women belong in ALL places where decisions are being made. -Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.