I embrace all of my good qualities. I look at qualities or practices that no longer serve me and began the work of evolving from those into something which serves my higher self. Also, I examine myself often. I challenge what others say about me and then I examine myself to see if that is true. If it is, I work on it. If it is not, I discard it. Perhaps, I try to represent my feelings and thoughts in such a way it is clear. However, I don’t get caught up in trying to explain and clarify too much because I realize some people are going to misconstrue what I say anyway. This is when I began to avoid or put distance or lessen interactions with this individual who clearly has a personal problem with me.
How do you develop drive? I am not sure. But, for me it seems to happen when I remember I really want change. The desire to change my situation, finish a project, organize an event and marking things off my list seem to drive me. It pushes me forward and moves me to get up after a lag in motivation or just a much needed rest. Desire, I believe, give way to drive.
Creating is empowering to me. Finding that “thing” or doing what you love can empower you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a hobby or going back to school to be what you always wanted to be. It could be starting a business. All of this can be empowering and leading you into that feeling of satisfaction, joy, or accomplishment.
Painting, crocheting, writing, decorating, fashion, and teaching spiritual things are empowering to me. Blogging is creative to me. Find your “thing” and let it empower you to do more of it and to learn more of about it.
Becoming. Allow yourself to become! We, that are doing the work on ourselves or just living our lives are all becoming something. The choice is yours. But, when you are trying to empower yourself, change, be a better person you can easily become frustrated. It takes time to become who you are becoming. Let it unfold and be patient with yourself. Numerous times I said yes when I wanted to say no and then found myself dealing with drama. There were times I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. I had to find my voice and then take the opportunities to use it! A decision to change overnight may come, but change itself won’t be overnight.
I had to be my own photographer since my daughter was away with her dad. I don’t care for the way jumpsuits fit on me, but when I tried this one on I loved it! Plus, it was on clearance at Target!
The authentic self is the soul made visible. -Sarah Ban Breathnach
AUTHENTICITY. I took a journey to excavate my authentic self and it turned out to be the most POWERFUL tool in empowering myself. Who am I before religion, before all of the trauma and drama, before I was shaped and molded into the woman I had become to know, loathe, and then love? I had learned to love myself as I was, which was powerful, but when I remembered, dug deeper into who I was before all of this, before I admitted how I TRULY FELT ABOUT EVERYTHING I WAS TAUGHT in home, in school, in life, in church…that real honesty that can make you feel guilty because you know, they say it’s wrong…or it’s not lady like or it’s not part of our culture or God is going to strike you down. God’s going to write it down and he is reading your thoughts and recording them. Whew, child! I had to now accept my TRUE SOUL and love her all the more. I had to do away with some of my outdated thinking and programmed thinking. I had to move beyond the Black/African American-AMERICAN culture. I had to remember the free little girl in her free moments laying in the backyard looking towards the sky. The little girl sitting on the step of the front porch daydreaming. The little girl before being horrifically teased about being black with naturally red hair. Before prejudice and racism. Before, abuse and before the beat down of self esteem and the rip off of a budding fashion designer. I am more than a preacher’s daughter. I am more than a Christian, if I am that in fact. (Still discovering).
My authentic self is like this megaphone echoing throughout the universe. “Here I am! Here is the real me! Love it, like it, leave it, NAMASTE.” If you are mean, miserable, biased, rude, insensitive, lying to yourself about what you really think and feel, carrying the torch for known evil, etc.. I highly recommend EXCAVATING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. If you hate anyone in this world, if you love division, if you can’t see people for people, then you’re probably not as REAL as you claim to be. If you are about ZEN life, Yoga/Yogi, spirituality, but when a person of color walks in you ignore them and their knowledge or experience you probably need some excavating. But I must warn you that becoming your authentic self can be daunting and painful work. It may cause you to lose friends and family and to leave you lonely at times. It may make you feel funny and it may make others living a carbon copy life question your sanity. With that being said, GO FOR IT.
Finally! I caught the A to Z reveal in the nick of time and by that I mean today! I have missed it for almost two years in a row. So, the theme I have decided to flow with is EMPOWERMENT: My Personal Journey. In the A to Z challenge you sign up and you write everyday in April using the English Alphabet. A letter a day with a them or without a theme. I like it because it helped me when I first started blogging to stretch my brain! To organize, to write about anything and everything for 28 days. It gave me some consistency and it introduced me to other bloggers.
So, here I am and here we go. Empowerment: My Personal Journey from A to Z.