Sometimes I go to bed feeling defeated. Sometimes I rise with power and sometimes I rise with a press in my spirit. I do not know why some of our lives have more obstacles than others. It’s not because we are special as we have been told (I don’t believe that). It’s not ALL because of the choices we make. But it’s always about the response. I believe it’s simply because this is our lot. This is our path. This is our journey and everyone’s journey is different. That’s it. I got this today with the weight of the world on my shoulders and tears in my eyes. I got this.
As I scrolled my social media, it seemed that this week everyone was having some type of turmoil or upheaving in their lives. I wasn’t spared this week either. I know and I understand the signs in the sky. But, that doesn’t make what you and I are going through any less tumultuous. It does, however, give you wisdom, power, and insight. Knowing is half the battle and the other half is application of the knowledge.
The effects of nature on the human body, mental and emotional are REAL. Why do you think a brisk walk or a stroll helps the mind while benefiting the body? Why do some feel better as the sun rise or some feel worse as the night comes? It’s all connected in melatonin and water and more. I believe. God didn’t, in my humble opinion, create nature for our viewing pleasure only. The moon, the sky, the sun, the stars, the planets, etc. aren’t just there for the sustainability of mankind only. There is a reason to the movement.
I hope you’re not out there howling during full moons (lol) or turning into werewolves. I do hope you take the time to understand the “signs of the times” that are not related to the end of the world or religious propaganda. What about the signs of the times in your life? What the FULL MOON and WANING GIBBOUS is going on here?
Now is the time to empty yourself of all of the negative energy, trauma, and drama. Why? Because Winter really is coming. The Winter Solstice, or the First Day of Winter is December 21. In order for us to have winter, the Earth and the Sun must shift and we should follow suit. These are the signs in the sky the Bible and other books speak about. Often times in Christianity we ignore these things although, the Bible speaks of and suggests we pay attention and seek the deeper things of God.
It will be a time, on that day, we will experience the longest period of darkness and the shortest period of light. Now is the time to understand and to sit with your own darkness. None of us are all light. We have parts of us that need work, that we hide from others (or think we do) and ways that manifest itself in public. I’m talking about our ugly and our weaknesses. These things are like our shadows that follow us around even in the light and seem to disappear into the dark. They disappear as we ignore them or we push them down into the subconscious. We pretend we don’t see them or it’s not there or make excuses.
It is time to sit with your darkness because when the light comes, the season changes, and it will be time to move forward WITHOUT all of the baggage from the dark. It will be time to do a new thing and to have a CLEAN SLATE all the way around, in every area. So what good will it do for you if you drag your baggage of darkness with you onto a clean slate? It will do you NO GOOD! It’s time to do some shadow work.
The ENERGY if winter is about going within. Are you ready to go within and to do the work? Are you ready to face your darkness, understand it, so that you can walk in the fullness and greatness of who you are? Understand your sadness, anger, meanness, uncomfortable feelings about yourself and others. Face the residual emotions of the divorce, failed relationships. Explore your connection between your behaviors, reactions, in connection with your childhood. Go within. Don’t worry about what THEY are doing or what THEY did. This is your path through darkness into the light that awaits us. Call it enlightenment or a spiritual awakening but, neither one can happen with darkness. Welcome the dark (the unknown, the knowing it’s not right, the negative feelings, emotions, and behaviors. The ignorance (not knowing). Bring it on fear! Get ready to work! It’s the way to light.
I’ll share with you one of my shadows I want to address. It is the one that gravitates towards the emotionally unavailable (sometimes emotionally unstable) relationships. I have been shrinking this shadow for years. But now I want to get rid of it for good! It’s not as dominant as it use to be. It use to hold on to the pain and suffering those relationships offered. It mimicked the pain in suffering of childhood. While I now seem to be able to avoid and detect these traits, I am still appalled at the fact that I still attract these people. So the work is what is it in me that is leftover. What are residual thoughts and emotions I need to address and heal?
SO there. I let you in on one of my shadows. It took courage. It took vulnerability. You can’t have success without either one.
I am a woman, I am African American, I am all of the above. I consider myself a micro business owner. My business, theconfettishopbynikki.com is ran by myself and heavily assisted by my daughter and others. I have really bad brain fog, rheumatoid arthritis dis-ease, and other ailments at my young age. SO, I CONSIDER IT A BLESSING TO BE ABLE TO CREATE THE THINGS I DO.
What is your business? Drop the link in the comment section and let’s support each other!
“Don’t fix it. Fix it. Listen and don’t give advice. Give advice. Don’t tell me what to do. Wait, what should I do?” I am now the parent of a young adult in college. I thought I was doing well as I started the above when my teen was in the 10th grade but, apparently, I need to take a closer look at this very new, ever changing, college student. “You’re always giving advice and sometimes I just want you to listen. You’re always trying to fix it.” I was told.
And it’s true. My nature is to fix. I am the problem solver and the peacemaker. I am the bridge. I am the counselor. I am really good at just listening to others but, as a parent I listen with the intent to SOLVE and ADVISE and I now realize I need to listen with permission to advise or more importantly, ask if it’s not clear afterwards, “Are you just venting and need my listening ear?” And if so, I need to use words like, “I understand. Or wow, what do you think you should do? Or give it some time, you will figure it out.” One must refrain from their stories of what they did in those situations because you have been told, “they just want to vent or just need you to listen” and remember how you, too, need to just vent or just need a listening ear. You, too, don’t always want to hear someone’s story, need advice, or need it to be fixed. You just want to get it out of your head. TRUST your young adult to figure it out or come back to you for advice or, brace yourself, to find the solution from someone else.
Someone else? Yes. Now this is the time to talk to your young adult (or remind them) about making sure the resources they use are credible resources! This is for articles on google, influencers on YouTube need to be questioned and so does their sources, and to seek professional help (a teacher that teaches the subject or campus counselors). Perhaps, a pastor or even an older sibling or relative they trust. Yes. Your young adult may be able to talk to your brother or your sister about an issue and not you, the parent. My sister was my main source during my teen years and young adult years. She was much older than I was and had been through similar things in which my mom had not.
If you haven’t prepared yourself, you should prepare your mind to know that you will not always be the end all be all, the main source to your child. They grow up. In my belief system, they belong to the Creator ultimately and are not to be controlled but, are to be guided and eventually, left to sail their own ship. I don’t get to pick the ship, design the ship, and pick passengers or destination. I am just on call to assist and to check on. And you learn to enjoy that role. Keyword…learn.
You know that unwavering faith? Yeah, I don’t really have that ALL the time. However, I do have it in “certain” areas. You may wonder why don’t I have that type of faith ALL the time in ALL areas. You know, like you. Well, I have seen God work as far as finances in my life over and over again. I can be certain that it will work itself out and I have learned that I also have responsibility in that area as well. I know that God is a healer and that God’s grace is sufficient where a thorn may be. I know that God will protect me. I have been protected and delivered from many situations.
My faith WAVERS in the area of love and relationships. I have not seen God faithful in my life, in this area. Now, let me clarify. I have seen God REMOVE. I have been responsible to remove. I have yet to see love arrive in the form of my mate, my soul mate, my twin flame. So, pardon me if I am a little “iffy” and doubtful for I have been toiling for years (Toiling is something they say in the olden church days and I recall hearing that as a child). It means you have been laboring heavily. For a long time and sometimes without harvest. This is how I feel. Some years nothing. Other times weeds. Quite a bit, looks like harvest, just a new weed. All the time, I am sowing GOOD SEEDS in the wrong ground it turns out. Well, I sow those same seeds in my own ground so why haven’t they manifested outside of me? I don’t know. Other than the classic answer, “My dear child, it’s not your time.” Head down or side eye?
Well, how long is the line before my time? I’ve missed the window to have more children. I’d at least like to be able to travel and enjoy the rest of these years with someone worthy of my presence and presents of love and loyalty. Hold on…tides coming in.
Imagine cruising and all the lights are green. Your hair, if you have any, blowing in the wind. It’s a sunny and mild type of day. And then, all of sudden, out of the blue you are blindsided. Your car is slammed and spinning out of control with you in it. It stops and you are in complete shock and disoriented.
I got my heart broke last week and this is exactly how I felt and I am still feeling it. I haven’t been hurt like that in so long I didn’t know what hit me. I have to pause writing this because the break is deep and it hurts like hell. I know that in time I will heal. I mean, I have been here before. However, it’s unpleasant this healing process. I have grown in so many ways because instead of it having me down for weeks or days, I have learned to press and push through. Even if I have to cry while doing it. Crying is cleansing and if the hurt is deep it has to be cleansed in this manner to wash away the pain.
I get up. I work. i create. I parent. I inspire. I keep it real. I keep it honest. I reveal what I want to the masses and the rest stays between me and my Creator.
I’ve also grown in this way: I know who I am. I know my character, values, morals, so much so that I WILL NOT spend too much time, IF any at all trying to prove a thought or judgement wrong about me or trying to dispel a falsehood. This is GROWTH for me. I won’t even do this with the people I love. I’ve got friends, family, and even exes that will vouch for me but, if a person has made up their ragged mind, it’s nothing I (you) can do about it. Except, move on. See link below…
In my casino resort, there was the temptation of this place and not the slot machines. Every day I passed by this place and STOPPED for ice cream!
If you are a foodie, Las Vegas is the place to get your gastro grub on! So many restaurants, so little time!
Lots of Creative Spaces utilized in Vegas.
The Mob Museum
The most interesting part of my trip was The Mob Museum. If you want to talk about organized crime, the mob museum is the place to understand where it all started. The Italians and the Jews, the Irish mobsters and gangs were a very very violent and ruthless group of people. They had the means and money to import illegal things into the country and they did. I find it normal how these gangs are glamourized and many look at the violence in the cities, such as Chicago, as if these gangs have anywhere near the capacity to do what the mob did and continues to do.
Vegas during the pandemic was different but, I still had so much fun making memories with my family and friends. We made sure followed the protocols and the places we visited did as well. I felt safe the entire time and remained vigilant.
Me: Wow, God. There are mountains behind the mountains and in front of the mountains. I couldn’t see that on the first day even when there weren’t as many clouds.
God: And you can see even more mountains when it’s a clear and sunny day.
Me: They are beautiful. Majestic.
God: Yes. Your life is.
Me: You’re trying to show me and tell me something.
God within: Right & Write. Mountains Behind Mountains. What’s Your Range of Mountains? Mountains made beautiful. Mountains reflect the “Sun” and the “Son”. What you’ve been through. What you’ve learned. They are your pain and sorrow but ALSO your victory and your hopes for tomorrow. Some lower. Some higher. Some wider. Some smooth. Some rockier than others. I’ll hide your other mountains to get you to focus on a particular mountain. I’ll lift clouds a little to remind you that you can persevere. I’ll let you see the mountains on a wet and cold day to remind you that if it weren’t for the mountains, you’d be much colder. I know just how much to reveal. I’ll show you on a bright, clear sky day, all that you’ve made it through thus far in this life time and make those mountains reflect your greatness. Your strength. Your power. Your glory. Your dignity. Your reign. Your divinity. Your dominion. How you rose up from beneath the foundation through turmoil and stood mightily. Over and over and over, again and again.
Where have I been? M.I.A indeed. I took the yearly trip to Vegas with family, half of the crew, during the pandemic and it was STILL a great trip. I was nervous as one should be during these uncertain times but, from the time we left things were in place from the airlines to the resorts, the city of Vegas and the businesses that we went to. They all had Covid protocols and were very strict about it. However, the Vegas hospitality remained in place.
That is my view from the room. The hotel is one that I really don’t like but, it was chosen as a throwback before the pandemic hit. And although it’s my least favorite because the rooms need a MAJOR overhaul, it is the best location and is connected to some of the best resorts. It also has great food accesses within the hotel itself. And, if you are on the Resort side you have a better view of the mountains.
I enjoyed waking up to the mountains, watching the sunset over the mountains, and getting so much inspiration from watching each day of sunrise and sunset bring a different view and mental perspective. It was less crowded but, still crowded. It was seeing Vegas in a way will probably NEVER see it again. It was not people on top of people and I liked being able to move easily through the casino, resort, streets, and shops.
These are photos from my first evening there.
We had reservation at the Beer Park Rooftop and it was an awesome view of the strip and the food was really good!
I will share a bit more next week but, just wanted to say hello and let you know that I am still here. All is well! It just takes a while to recover for one that has Rheumatoid and Fibromyalgia. There is much to discuss!