I know you’ve heard it before. Change in behavior only comes when you change your mind about the behavior. It takes 21 days to develop a new habit. All of that is true but, 21 days won’t become forever until the mind has been transformed and it will not come easy. That is where I believe we get stuck. When the going gets tough. What do we do when we are trying to break a habit when the going gets tough? Do we push through or give up and go back to our old ways?
I think one of the keys to changing bad habits is to know what triggers the bad habit and to have a plan in place for when those triggers go off. In other words, being prepared. It takes practice to connect the triggers and saying to yourself okay, I SEE that THIS is happening, what do I do next? Do I grab my cigarettes? Do I reach for ice cream and lose myself in it? Do I scream and curse? If you don’t know what to do next you do what is familiar.
So often when we plan to change we don’t have safety nets out there to catch us or help us not to fall back into the trap of old ways and habits. In the process of renewing the habits of the mind, we need more than a mantra, we need a detailed plan. Hopefully, this will help us the next time we are in the middle of change and life pulls a trigger we can recognize it and disarm it with a new response. And perhaps our new response will become our new way of dealing with triggers and rid them null and void once and for all.
There’s a green light to being mean, nasty, doing evil and speaking ill in this world. We don’t have to ponder whether to snap back or plot revenge. We enjoy it in this world. It makes us feel good about ourselves and causes and powerful. It’s like drinking poison and saying ahhhh now that was refreshing! We disregard the harm of others and only think about what we did when the consequences, karma or the law catches up with us.
I’d like to throw flowers in the air tell you what the world needs now is love sweet love and that may be true but first the world needs a swift kick in the behind and a lesson on humanity. THEN we may place crowns of flowers on our heads and sway side to side or hold up a candles for a visual.
Instead taking the highway of hate one can learn by practicing… Key word practicing Yielding to the Fruit of the Spirit. Isn’t that a “Christian” principle? Um, I never knew Spirit to be associated with only the Christian religion. I’d think it applies to anyone who has a spirit. Anyways dot dot dot (…)
Yielding to love, kindness, peace, patience, forbearance, joy, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control can only help us all become better human beings. Yielding requires a slowing down to access on coming traffic to make a decision whether it’s clear for you to proceed or of you need to STOP and wait for an open space to keep going. Or you could just plow right into traffic, hurt others and yourself and receive a ticket. Yeah… That’s what we do when we don’t yield to the fruit of the spirit. We hurt others and ourselves and receive a big fat ticket from the UNIVERSE signed by Officer Karma. Slow down and have a good day… Hands you the ticket.
X marks the spot. The spot to the treasure or the spot where something needs to be fixed. Either way, digging has to take place to resolve the problem such as a broken pipe or line or if we are searching for treasure were have to dig one we find the X.
I’ve seen X’s marked on sidewalks, streets and in the grass. I knew the utility people or the construction workers were coming back and the breaking of that concrete or ground would begin.
X marks the spot to treasures within you and X marks the spot to places in you that need to be fixed or healed shall I say. We have to search and bring both of these things to the light. They both need exposure. Treasures to be used to heal others, to benefit the world and pain to be healed and benefit us by becoming wisdom in which we share to help heal others. Isn’t it something that both treasure and pain are both buried in dark places?
Uh oh 😞. This can’t be good. You know the outcome of this type of situation because you’ve done it and seen it before. You pull the string and there it goes. You put it in the washer or dryer and when you open the door it it’s no more but shreds of what it use to be. Or what about that fine garment that you can just pull the thread and watch it go from a scarf or skirt to this amazingly long piece of very fine threading. Poof!!! Vanished!!!
Whenever I think of something unraveling I think of nothing salvageable being left. You may as well toss it and get a new one or say your farewell. Maybe both.
I give the years 2010 until 2015 for me the ominous title THE UNRAVELING. I imagine it in big red scary creepy Steven Spielberg letters. You’re afraid to open the book!!! It’s the years I’ve been dealt the most blows, seen the most valleys, cried the most tears, lost quite a bit, and mostly spent in darkness catching glimpses of light. Anguish and hell. It’s the unraveling of everything you once knew and once were. The familiar is gone. It’s a how did I get here, let me count the ways moment. It’s a “Wait. No. I wasn’t ready.” The sudden death of your life as you know it. Yes. The unraveling is fast but seems to go on forever and you can’t stop it. And you know when it gets to the end there will be nothing left that you can make sense out of. You’ll have the memory of what it use to be and the scars to prove it existed.
As I look at the heap of life I once knew, I know it’s gone. So now what do I do? I say to God. Now what? In the natural we replace it if it’s a necessity or we really like it. And it may not be the exact same one but, we learn to love it or like it. Sometimes we say”I’ll purchase a better one this time and make sure I take care of it.” Heck it may even come with an extra pocket or hood or fancier stitch.
So the Universe speaks. Hold it right there. I’ll get you a NEW ONE. I’m sorry your old life got ripped to shreds in the unraveling but it was time. (you frown) Listen says the Universe, I’ve got to make this NEW LIFE for you but I need your input and cooperation. Work with me. Let’s make it the best NEW LIFE ever! Dream it up! Find your new pleasures, scrap the good from the old going forth with lessons learned as the new pattern. We’ll weave it all in. Oh oh I know. You’ll have your moments threading a NEW LIFE but cry your way through. Shout your way through it. Just keep sewing sewing sewing (Universe sings in Dori voice from Finding Nemo) and before you know it you’ll start to smile more. You’ll step back and see things are coming along. It’s going to be fabulous. It’s going to be rich with love and opportunities to improve. To live up to your highest potential.
So as scary as the unraveling is… You will be given NEW LIFE and this time you’ll remember working with the Creator to create it. Hmmm… It’s all coming back to me. Now lets get back to making this pattern…let’s see. Where did I put that lesson on self love…oh here it is! Right in front of me!!!
Be ye also ready. All you need is that one connection to the right person. As a matter of fact pretend like you have it and be prepared. Perfect your craft. Have your ducks lined up in a row as my mom would say. Imagine what you would say or have your pitch together. You may not even need it. I’ve got one self help book under my belt. I have my first mini novel ready to move by the end of this month. I have already decided to make my first self help book a play and script it. I have what I call the blueprints for other books, plays, movies, short films. And I am working on a business plan for my non-profit. This is my in the meantime.”Stay ready.So you don’t have to get ready”. I have no idea what is going to take off first.
The truth is I don’t know what I am doing but, I am doing something until I see my steps ordered. I am taking advice and watching other authors. I am reading about their journey for inspiration and clues. I realize writing and poetry is just one part of who I am. Fashion is also in my blood so I still sketch. I still want to design because it is my first love. I am learning to sew. The fashion designer in me will never die. Whatever pieces of the puzzle you have to who you are, work a little on putting them together everyday until you get the big picture.