“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most […]
Sunday Morning Coffee Musings
I don’t know the specifics of the occasion but, I do know it’s time to rise to it. It takes strength to rise. It takes courage to rise. Think about all the muscles at work when you rise from a seated position. Think about how much more strength when you’re weak and you have to rise. Some of us will need a little more strength. Some of us may need a hand.
I myself, need the the courage to rise to the occasion in my life. It’s time for me to be brave. I must confess, I’m not feeling very brave. I’m a little timid about rising to my call in my life. That’s my occasion. Why are you afraid Nikki? Well, I’m afraid I might do the wrong thing. I’m afraid I might mess it up. I’m afraid I might not do it the way others think I should and they will talk about me. It’s not just fear. It’s a paralyzing fear stemming from childhood.
So here we are. Some searching for strength and others for courage. Perhaps, both. We don’t have to search too far because it’s already in us. What we need is a made up mind to rise… No matter the outcome. What we need is knowing that it will all work out and we will learn along the way and this will help us to build more strength and courage to keep going forward. We can’t be afraid of trial and error. We can’t be ashamed if we make a mistake. We’ve been taught these things are bad things. All of our mistakes and failures in school, in life, on the job, by family friends and strangers are often HIGHLIGHTED. Don’t we do the same to others?
Sigh. Yet, it’s still time. The occasion is knocking gently at your door. Patiently, waiting on you to gather the strength and the courage to rise.
Saturday Morning Coffee Musings
IN RELATION TO YOUR DREAMS, WHEN PEOPLE SAY YOU’RE CRAZY, THEY ARE SAYING YOUR DREAMS ARE BEYOND THEIR SCOPE OF POSSIBILITY, REALITY AND IMAGINATION. -NICOLE JACKSON
Yesterday, I talked to a publisher for one of my clients. He told me how it took him 3 years to leave HIS JOB as a top guy with 700 employees under him. He said people kept telling him MAN YOU’RE CRAZY. Then he said plus I was mid age. Then I just couldn’t fight it anymore and here I am. Sometimes, I pinch myself and can’t believe I’m living my dream.
Me: Usually when they say YOU’RE CRAZY, in relation to your dreams, it’s a sure thing you’re on the right path.
Him: I can see that!
Me: Yeah, just think of all the people with a success story, even in the Bible, (he’s Christian), who were told THAT’S CRAZY and things worked out.
Him: Right! It’s been 9 years. An unbelievable 9 years.
Me: YOU’RE CRAZY means it’s outside their scope of reality, possibility & imagination. That’s all.
Him: WOW. Are you in ministry?
Me: Something like that.
Temperamental much? You bet!!!! We don’t know if it’s the medication or the pain so “STAND DOWN” is what we are yelling in the inside to those around us that’s adding to the irritation or in our heads they are adding to it. I mean that’s only for you to determine.
It doesn’t matter if it’s that dull nagging pain in that one area that’s been going on all day or all week. It doesn’t matter if it’s a full fledge flare and it’s going from your hand to hip. It doesn’t matter if suddenly you snap and yell “I’M TIRED OF HURTING ALL THE —- TIME!!!!! You’re in the DR Jekyll and Mr. Hyde phase. It can sneak up on you when you’re trying to open up a container with a plastic top or you see someone jogging and you remember when you use to be able to do that. The MOOD suddenly swings and there you go. Hey, who pushed me???
What’s that noise?!!!!! Who’s running the water? Who left the light on? Are you getting smart with me? What are you looking at? And honestly, nothing more than a normal day and normal sounds and normal children/ teenagers or a spouse doing what they always do. It’s just 10 times as irritating because you’re in pain or your in reflection of the illness.
Here are my tips:
1. Hey, I’m in pain. (Well yeah, (they say), you’re in pain everyday). Here’s where you have to break it down to them I’m having a flare a high grade one or a low grade one (the nagging dull pain). So, could you keep the noise down or lose the attitude until further notice???
2. Retreat. Go to your room. Close the door. Turn the light off. I literally just did this and I’m typing this blog on my phone. My daughter seemed to get the picture right away.
3. If you have time off use it or see if you can come in later. (Honestly, I don’t know people that have this kind of job where they can come in later. But, if u do, do that!)
4. If you have a friend or relative that lives alone, and they have an extra room, run away to their home for a day or night. Tell them you just want peace ✌ and quiet.
5. Or, if I felt like getting up, I’d show u my sign for my door. It reads as follows: Flare. Enter at your own risk.
6. Find a quiet place outside, a walk if you can, the porch or patio and have your moment if you’re just feeling emotional about the changes your illness has put you through.
7. Many times I think of all the things I can do or still can do. That lifts your spirit.
8. I know it’s corny to some but, give thanks. Place to stay? Food to eat? Clothes to wear? People that care and love you? People that put up with your madness? In pain but can you see? Talk? Read? Walk? Taste good food?
So, as I lie here tonight in “I’m BATMAN” braces (they look like batman’s gloves. You know like I should be able to call for the bat car on my arm) for carpal tunnel syndrome, I hope your mood swing subsides… And mines too. I shouldn’t be typing but, I had to get this out! Free therapy!
The bird cage is open…SET YOURSELF FREE. I know you’ve been locked up in the cage of self pity, hatred, self loathing, sadness, depression, people pleasing, fix everything and everybody, debt, dead end job, fake/bad relationship, fear, etc etc….The door to the cage was never locked! It’s a mind game. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even sing anymore. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even fly anymore. But just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t. Choose to SING Choose to FLY.
Monday Morning WEEK POW WOW
It’s a productive week and the atmosphere is conducive for miracles & favor
I stand firm in my beliefs without stooping to low level energies
I choose peace to keep my creative ideas flowing
I feed my body good food and exercise
I operate in possibilities
I give my time and energy to worthy recipients
Money & Promotion is attracted to me like a magnet
When I saw the above photograph, it immediately got my attention as I searched for a quote on peace. I looked at it and thought this is how we should operate in the midst of everything that is going on around us. I named each stone as I looked at the picture and said there I am also. Peace in the midst may not be consistent for many of us but, the simple truth that you have it at times lets me know it’s always available.
I’ve discovered I need different types of blankets depending on how I feel. I can’t explain it. I have a thin spread, as my mother would call it on my bed, a chenille blanket for downstairs because it’s always cooler downstairs, a thick fuzzy blanket to go on top of the thin “spread” if it’s not doing it’s job and what I now need is a quilt.
Yesterday I suddenly became ill while visiting my parents. It’s warm here but I was freezing. They turned the air off gave me a blanket and I still couldn’t get warm.
Then my mom brought a quilt my granny made. I fell asleep right away. Now I would like to have a quilt my granny made or when I finish my sewing classes, I’d like to take the ones she had left undone and finish them. It’s the one thing I wish I would have learned to do from her before she passed away or as I say, transformed (from the physical body to the spiritual body). I dreamed she was showing me yesterday evening as I slept. Now, I really believe I can do it. Even if it will be a challenge with my RA.
Energy zap, nausea and shock waves of pain. They come out of nowhere. On their own and when they darn well please.
You’re halfway done grocery shopping or washing dishes and suddenly the lights go out. That’s the feeling of energy zap. It can happen and all you did was get dressed for the day. Surprise!!!!
Nausea shows up anywhere. It doesn’t care if you just sat down for dinner or a date or both. It doesn’t care that you had a decent night of sleep and all you did was sat up on the side of the bed. Nausea can come and go or stay with you and nag you all-day-long. Surprise!!!!
You’re sitting there chatting with a dear friend and out of no where you feel as if you are being electrocuted with a wave of pain. You reach for your arm or leg and press into it. You’re friend asks “Are you okay?” With a look of concern. A few moments past and you say “Yeah. What was I was talking about?” As if that just didn’t just happen. Surprise!!!
These are the bad surprises of chronic illnesses that you never get use to. Well, at least I haven’t. It’s no wonder many of us are mean and crabby but I don’t let my illness determine my weather. Not much. I try to adjust my funky attitude or send myself to my room. I’m in my room now.
Lifeguard station in Panama. Early sunrise.
Mondays are usually my off days. I don’t normally, if can be avoided, schedule any appointments on Mondays. I don’t really want to talk business either or heavy issues. All I want is rest. Peace. Shhhhh. Quiet please. No drama 🎭 Only good vibes. I use it to organize my week from goals to meals to appointments.
You see as a person with RA (Rheumatoid arthritis) and Fibromyalgia this is my day to recoup from any activity/activities over the weekend. I learned this only towards the end of last year. Weekends can zap ⚡ everything out of you. It’s usually then you try to do a little extra or maybe lose your mind and go overboard.
When Monday comes I discover I would miss or cancel more appointments. If I don’t rest on Mondays, I’m setting myself up for a flare. Even though RA or Fibro has a mind of its own and can flare at any given time, I don’t want to set it ablaze! And I’ll conk out midweek usually in fatigue and you guessed it, more pain.
I’m a Mom and I have parents that need my help as much as I need theirs. Any type of illness that has unpredictable symptoms and triggers adds to the unpredictability of life. Bringing in any type of routine and normalcy keeps a lid on the sanity.
I’m committed to my Mondays being light. I look forward to them. I don’t know how long all of this is going to last when I become a well to do author, fashion designer, speaker, paid blogger 😀 but for now, let’s just go with it.