Let’s cut to the chase. Maybe you don’t know YOU are the bad energy toting family member. Here are clues and what your energy does to others who don’t know how, don’t have the heart or guts to confront you.
Certain family members no longer show up or limit their time in your space because they can’t deal with your behavior
You’ve been asked several times to tone it down but you don’t because you don’t see anything wrong
You can’t wait to get a rise out of a particular family member. Even though they’ve told you to stop
You feel good when you make other people upset or you think nothing about it
You refuse to apologize for embarrassing family members
Family members cringe at your off colored, off putting remarks and you go “What?”
You get offended and defensive when confronted about your behavior
Deep down inside you know you have a problem and your behavior is a problem but you don’t have the courage to admit it and tackle the real issues behind your mean spirit
You say “So what. Others are too sensitive. Lighten up!”
Affects the mood of every family event
Makes others feel demeaned in an environment they should feel uplifted
Makes others feel constricted because they have to avoid you at all cost
Makes others feel attacked when they should feel love
Makes others ill when you arrive
Makes others feel rushed because they know they can’t stay long and enjoy other family because they can’t take your bad energy
Figure out what the real problem is in your private life. Take a good look in the mirror at what you do and what you say and ask yourself why can’t you stop doing the things that cause harm and rifts in the family? Rather it’s a coming to Jesus, Self or Therapist moment, I hope you build up the nerve to come. As you are.
I dreamed about something and I was certain that’s what God was showing me. I was sure of the instructions. So, I did what I saw as I was told. After all, I had confirmation. I’m sure this has happened with your intuition or gut feeling which I believe to be the Holy Spirit within. Well, it turned out not to go as I saw in the dream. I made a mistake as things were running smoothly. I caused the glitch in the plan.
After careful thought and with much delay, I asked for a second chance. Now, I don’t know if I’ll get that opportunity again. I’m still waiting. However, I begin to feel really bad about it all and I said to God, “What if they don’t give me another opportunity?” And it came to me “I have a ram in the bush.” But, I still felt bad. I felt why did I bother asking for another opportunity. And again the voice said to me “You have done your part. It is up to them to do their part. Either way, I have a ram in the bush.”
Yeah, but I thought, maybe this ram, won’t be as good as what I had at first. God speaks “Equal or greater, I’d never give you anything less than what you had before.” But, I just couldn’t get past my feelings and I guess that’s why all I heard in my spirit last week was “I have a ram in the bush.” Well, I’m finally at peace knowing either way, I’ll be well taken care of pertaining to my destiny.
We all make mistakes concerning our destiny. Sometimes, the other party is forgiving and sometimes not. Either way, the the ram in the bush will appear at the moment of sacrifice or when your heart is ready, and not a moment sooner.
Yeah yeah yeah. It’s all fun and games until you go home and your “Hi, honey. I’m home.” is an echo (Hi, honey. I’m HOME HOme Home home). I think honesty with being single is underrated. It’s not the worst thing that could happen of course! Even if you end up spending this life without a significant other or married. But I’ll be frank with you- I don’t like being single. I’m single and happy but, I’m not satisfied with my single status.
Telling the truth when asked about being single is freedom. I don’t have to pretend like I’m okay with it ALL THE TIME because God knows I’m not. It’s no secret to the Universe I don’t want to be single. Does not wanting to be single mean you can’t be happy? NO! And that’s what most people don’t get. They think if you’re not satisfied being single, you must be unhappy with your entire life.
Contraire mon frere. I’m Nikki. I’m not Single. Those two things are separate in my mind. I’m happy with Nikki. I’m not satisfied with single. But until then… I’m chillin’. I’ve had my share of relationships and I know it’s best to be happy alone than to be miserable together.
It takes you about 12 years to realize you’ve been preprogrammed by your parents, environment, religion, and society. Some of us wake up startled and angry. For others it’s a “coming to yourself” and we sit and ponder.
No, I don’t like pink. No, I don’t want to wear my hair like you wear your hair. No, I don’t want to be a teacher, doctor, work on this crazy job, anymore. No, I don’t necessarily believe someone’s going to literally burn in a pit of fire 🔥 because they didn’t believe what I was raised to believe. No, I don’t think I have to choose classical music over hip hop but, I can like them both. And as a matter of fact, I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am!!!!!
Whether you’re in your mid 30’s switching gears or early 60’s getting a divorce, it’s obvious for this final act YOU WILL NOW DO YOU. YOU WILL NOW DO AND BE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AND OTHERS CAN GET WITH IT, OR GET GONE. You’re going to say what you really think and what you really feel without being a jerk but, oh your going to stand firmly in your core beliefs. You’re not nodding your head with the masses but, in your heart yelling no! And if the teacher calls on you, you’re done giving textbook answers.
I know blue doesn’t bring out your eyes out but, you love blue!!!! I know, they think you’re crazy at this age, with all of those degrees and now you want to open up a consignment shop. They are right. You’re crazy enough to FINALLY DO YOU. Look at all of the people around you that have done what they wanted to do. They were no more special than you. They too were not all in their 20’s. They too were called nuts 🔩 and bananas. Plus, you’ve got plenty of company.
It’s high time you answer the call on the inside of you. After all, it’s not calling “them” it’s calling YOU.
~Nikki, From Saturday Morning Musings with Coffee 🍵
Sunday Morning Coffee Musings
I don’t know the specifics of the occasion but, I do know it’s time to rise to it. It takes strength to rise. It takes courage to rise. Think about all the muscles at work when you rise from a seated position. Think about how much more strength when you’re weak and you have to rise. Some of us will need a little more strength. Some of us may need a hand.
I myself, need the the courage to rise to the occasion in my life. It’s time for me to be brave. I must confess, I’m not feeling very brave. I’m a little timid about rising to my call in my life. That’s my occasion. Why are you afraid Nikki? Well, I’m afraid I might do the wrong thing. I’m afraid I might mess it up. I’m afraid I might not do it the way others think I should and they will talk about me. It’s not just fear. It’s a paralyzing fear stemming from childhood.
So here we are. Some searching for strength and others for courage. Perhaps, both. We don’t have to search too far because it’s already in us. What we need is a made up mind to rise… No matter the outcome. What we need is knowing that it will all work out and we will learn along the way and this will help us to build more strength and courage to keep going forward. We can’t be afraid of trial and error. We can’t be ashamed if we make a mistake. We’ve been taught these things are bad things. All of our mistakes and failures in school, in life, on the job, by family friends and strangers are often HIGHLIGHTED. Don’t we do the same to others?
Sigh. Yet, it’s still time. The occasion is knocking gently at your door. Patiently, waiting on you to gather the strength and the courage to rise.
Saturday Morning Coffee Musings
IN RELATION TO YOUR DREAMS, WHEN PEOPLE SAY YOU’RE CRAZY, THEY ARE SAYING YOUR DREAMS ARE BEYOND THEIR SCOPE OF POSSIBILITY, REALITY AND IMAGINATION. -NICOLE JACKSON
Yesterday, I talked to a publisher for one of my clients. He told me how it took him 3 years to leave HIS JOB as a top guy with 700 employees under him. He said people kept telling him MAN YOU’RE CRAZY. Then he said plus I was mid age. Then I just couldn’t fight it anymore and here I am. Sometimes, I pinch myself and can’t believe I’m living my dream.
Me: Usually when they say YOU’RE CRAZY, in relation to your dreams, it’s a sure thing you’re on the right path.
Him: I can see that!
Me: Yeah, just think of all the people with a success story, even in the Bible, (he’s Christian), who were told THAT’S CRAZY and things worked out.
Him: Right! It’s been 9 years. An unbelievable 9 years.
Me: YOU’RE CRAZY means it’s outside their scope of reality, possibility & imagination. That’s all.
Him: WOW. Are you in ministry?
Me: Something like that.
The bird cage is open…SET YOURSELF FREE. I know you’ve been locked up in the cage of self pity, hatred, self loathing, sadness, depression, people pleasing, fix everything and everybody, debt, dead end job, fake/bad relationship, fear, etc etc….The door to the cage was never locked! It’s a mind game. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even sing anymore. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even fly anymore. But just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t. Choose to SING Choose to FLY.
Monday Morning WEEK POW WOW
It’s a productive week and the atmosphere is conducive for miracles & favor
I stand firm in my beliefs without stooping to low level energies
I choose peace to keep my creative ideas flowing
I feed my body good food and exercise
I operate in possibilities
I give my time and energy to worthy recipients
Money & Promotion is attracted to me like a magnet
Sunday Morning Musing & Coffee
In YOUR CHOICE of faith (or no choice) & beliefs, I believe you should stand firm in it but, I don’t believe you should attack, demean, insult opposing views. It’s possibly a sign of weakness, biases, a dislike or hate for the topic, other group or the person. Those things cause you to stoop to low blows, lashing and insults.
If you don’t like Christians and you’re having a “discussion” can you be objective or not? If you don’t like Muslims, can you be objective in your discussion? If you don’t like gay people can you be objective in your discussion? If a person is not vegan can you have a civil discussion? Or do you become instantly defensive? Do you become an instant jerk? An instant butt hole? Furthermore, you may have a problem if you enjoy being mean and insulting others. You may have a heart problem, a love problem and perhaps you need healing or deliverance. Perhaps, enlightenment.
The only way to stand firm in what you believe WITHOUT STOOPING is to stand firm in LOVE. Stand firm and operate in love with your attitude, your demeanor and your choice of words. If the other person is becoming defensive and offensive in their tone, language or gestures then end the conversation immediately. It’s not going anywhere but downhill from there. The next thing you know you’ll be stooping to their level of nastiness.
For the record, I believe what I believe and that’s pretty much the end of the story. YET, I’m always interested in other viewpoints mainly because I like to know how people think and why they think that way. Plus, I rarely get upset about one not sharing my views because I realize my views are mines and not theirs! You believe what you believe and that’s your story. At the end of the day can we be civil? Can we work together? Can we be kind to one another? Different viewpoints, ideals, religions, cultures, shape the world and make it very interesting. You live here and I live here now let’s do lunch.
When I find myself dealing with a person who wants to argue instead of discuss, or a person who’s decided how they are going to deal with me because of my religion or my opposing views, I JUST DON’T DEAL. 😊
When I saw the above photograph, it immediately got my attention as I searched for a quote on peace. I looked at it and thought this is how we should operate in the midst of everything that is going on around us. I named each stone as I looked at the picture and said there I am also. Peace in the midst may not be consistent for many of us but, the simple truth that you have it at times lets me know it’s always available.