Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Wrong but, Right

I wake up at 3 am from joint pain. I get up and take some pain medication. I doze off and I awake at 4:15 am to a beeping smoke detector that informs me the battery is low. Thanks. I get the footstool and I remove the batteries. I get back to bed. I am up at 7 am. An inbox from the speaker that is suppose to bring a message to the congregation cancels due to a fever. I call the pastor and the pastor will have to fill in. I get dressed only to look down to see the hem of my dress has unraveled and is shredded. I change clothes twice after that and I am ready to go. But, my daughter is not. I arrive at a church with 3 minutes to spare and I am asked to fill in here and there, all over the place because only a hand full of members are there. Just when you think it’s over we arrive to the restaurant for dinner only to find out they close at 2pm and will reopen at 4pm. New hours because there is a shortage on employees.

We decide to go to a restaurant that is close to where we are but, it is very expensive. We are seated with no issues and the food was delicious. I stuffed myself silly as it was a brunch buffet. Sad but, true.

With everything that happened this morning before I could leave my home, I almost said, “Everything that could have went wrong this morning did!” But, before I could finish it, I stopped. I thought, “Words have power. They have the power to create and to evoke emotions.” Instead I changed it to, “Everything that could have gone right this morning did!”

I know that may seem opposite of what happened. I reflected on what was going on and how at every turn I talked myself into remaining calm and hopeful. When I woke up for the third time at 7 am I was still in quite a bit of pain from Rheumatoid and my muscles were aching from fibromyalgia. I am in the middle of a flare up of both! A bowl of cereal and coffee. CBS Sunday Morning. Nodding off at times and praying things would calm down. During the getting dressed fiasco, “That’s ok. It’s alright. I know I am running short on time. It’s ok. Next dress. Next pair of shoes. Next on the accessories. Keep moving Nicole.” I am ready! My daughter is not. We will be late! It’s okay. It’s alright. Breathe. Write your notes. Start the car. Wait. Wait. Breathe. Wait. Don’t fuss when she gets in the car. She is having a rough morning, too.

She gets in with college size attitude. I ignore. At church, I kept going with the flow of the turn of events. Dinner, I may have been a bit frustrated but, adjusted my attitude before walking in and hoping they had space. I realized, I had ACED the TESTS of the day. Everything that could have went right, did. It may not have been RIGHT but, it was happening and this was truly a series of tests to see if I could put into practice things I have been reading, experiencing, learning, over the years. We are tested often in this life but, there are times when we get an EXAM. This was an exam. I aced it. I felt joy and then I thought maybe I shouldn’t be too happy. After all, this is spiritual stuff. Is it okay to be happy about this?

Absolutely! Understanding brings us joy! Enlightenment brings us joy! Why not celebrate when we pass tests and exams in life? It made my heart happy to see growth. I would have gotten angry. I would have given up. I would have been miserable. But, no. I just went with the flow of things and rode the wave on out to shore using a set of skills developed over time. Breathe. Self talk. Flow. Adjust. Think. Adjust Attitude to a better one. Smile. Ignore. Adjust internal emotions with truth to override facts. Pep talks. Shuffle. Repeat. Repeat.

Ahhhhhhh the day is done!

Don’t’ believe the hype in your life that can come from what you SEE. Seeing isn’t always believing. It looked like I was having a bad day but, it was all an illusion. Are there bad days? Of course! But this was just an exam and I am glad it is over.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: In Season. Summer.

Have you ever thought of taking the time to align your life with nature and the seasons? It’s important to pay attention to what is going on in nature as it can be a cue, a clue, and a solution to what is going on in our own lives. I mean we do it automatically by switching out our wardrobes . We know to put away sweaters and to pull out shorts and short sleeved shirts for the summer. We know to stay hydrated with water. We know how to seek out shade. We schedule our vacations for the summer. It’s the optimum time for family gatherings and reunions. We go swimming. It’s summer. More sunlight. Longer days.

But what about aligning your spiritual life, your soul, your life to the TIME and SEASON? What should you be doing in the Summer season? What a wonderful time to ENJOY life. What a wonderful time to TAKE IT EASY. Yes. Relax. Rest. Recuperate. Enjoy the fruit of your labor. But summer is also ENERGETIC. It offers the most energy. So, it’s the time we are mostly on the go. So many things to do and places to go. Concerts in the park, farmers markets, travel, family, etc.

Spiritually speaking, the SUN representing the symbol of many things and many gods to certain people or religions, is high in the sky during the summer. Think of it as a time to really, really, pay attention to HOW you serve your chosen religion. No religion? Take note of how you serve HUMANITY. Who and what is guiding you? Who and what is motivating you? Are you driven by rewards and accolades? Are you driven by social media posts? Are you driven by religion meaning, this is what WE do because this how we have always done it? What if YOU don’t want to do that anymore? What if it’s time for a change? What if it’s time to move on from that position in Church or on the job? The sun is saying to you, eyes on me (YOUR SOURCE). Spend time with me (YOUR SOURCE). Spend time in me (YOUR SOURCE). What about me (YOUR SOURCE)? What about what I am calling you to do? What about the book? What about the flower shop? What about opening your own practice? Not only with your God, but what about you? Steal away this summer into some ME time. Sit on the porch in the early morning with your coffee and without your spouse. Get in the hammock and take a nap. Dream about the things you want to do. Write out a plan or ideas. Immerse yourself in your favorite hobby alone. What about God? What about You? What about God and You?

See the sun. See through your routine and remember your commitment to God and Self.

Let the sun shine within to illuminate the lost things within. Let it shine a light on your calling, dreams, and purposes.

The sun is giving you TIME to do some things for you but, also to do some things with other people. Call an old friend. Spend time with a friend. Make a new friend. Spend some time with each child alone. BONDING TIME.

HYDRATE. So important to get WATER in the summer. Your grass needs water. Your plants need water. YOU NEED WATER and more of it in the summer. Especially, if you are active.

HYDRATE YOUR SOUL and MIND with a book. Hydrate your soul with meditation. Hydrate your soul with exercise. Hydrate your soul with prayer. Hydrate with stillness and mindfulness. Hydrate with intentional living and actions.

~Nikki

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What Wednesdays: Hesitant to Walk Out My Calling

I was listening to Abraham Hicks and she was talking about ACTION without effort or resistance. She also talked about knowing your hang ups, blocks, snares. I asked God to show me where my blocks were and what exactly were they. Well, let me tell you, one of my blocks came as a surprise but, I could see how that was the case.

I have done the work in the past to uncover my authentic self. I have been on a journey walking in, getting comfortable with my authentic self. However, Spirit revealed to me that I was too busy trying to PROVE that I fit in by SHOUTING that I don’t fit in BECAUSE deep down inside I want to be accepted by the Christian population and peers. It’s TRUE I said as soon as it was revealed to me.

I thought I was forewarning people so they wouldn’t be shocked or think I wasn’t “saved” or a believer because I didn’t think like them or look like them or follow the rules. I have questions about the Bible. I have disagreements about the Bible. God let me know that it was no longer necessary to announce or to explain ANYTHING about OUR business and WHO I AM as one that believes in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. But, also one that gravitates towards spirituality (worshipping Him in SPIRIT and TRUTH). I tend to like, and I am drawn to the deeper things of God. The superficial, egotistical driven side of Christianity really turns my stomach. I often say to God, can we just meet at the ocean every Sunday and you bring a message and I go home or into the world? That would be great. Maybe some music. Maybe some teaching. But, I am just not into “religion” and “theology” and positions. I don’t like the politics. I don’t mind a prosperous church. I don’t mind a small church doing work in the community. I just don’t like all of the fat. I’d like it trimmed. But that’s not my call. That’s not my business or my ministry.

When I look back deeper into my life, I can see where I developed the need to announce I am different. One, I was told something was wrong weird or different about me as a child by a parent, siblings, and family. I was told by peers. I stood out as a red headed black child. It was made known from the day I was born I was different. So, I guess I begin to let people know that I was different BEFORE they could tell me. And I can see how announcing, “I am not traditional or religious” before I get ready to speak or post or blog is a way of wanting to be accepted in spite of my thoughts, ideas, truths, beliefs NOT lining up with tradition. No one likes a rule breaker. And my Christian peers can be quite judgmental and gossipy. I don’t so much mind the others but, not the people I chose to be part of. I have come so close to being done with CHRISTIANITY and just flowing with God.

Anyway, I can no longer be hesitant about who I am. I have to be the Nicole, inspired by John the Baptist mixed with some David and Peter with the fashion flare of Lydia (the seller of purple cloth that had ships coming in and was a businesswoman and believer). I have to accept I will be denounced, talked about, and shunned by many. But as long as I am loved, accepted, and cherished by the Creator, all is well.

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: What’s the Matter With Your ROOT, ROOTS and ROOTS?

Amazing Tree Roots


“For there is hope for a tree,
When it is cut down, that it will sprout again,
And its shoots will not fail.
“Though its roots grow old in the ground
And its stump dies in the dry soil,
At the scent of water it will flourish
And put forth sprigs like a plant. -Job

I heard that you were cut down. I heard that you were feeling a bit down or maybe it was that you were having some major trouble and issues. It could be manifesting physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or all four. Well, as Job said there is hope for a tree (you, a situation). All you need is a scent ( A little, a thought) of water (information, knowledge, hope, faith, a word) and you will flourish (grow, make a come back). You see a little hope, faith, information, etc. will start the process of growing again. It will help you solve your problem or get to the ROOT. Although, you may be in a place or state of mind that you do not wish to be in, you still have roots in the ground. It’s not over for you!

If you think back to your ancestral roots, they may have been plague with some of the same fears, situations, troubles, that you are facing today. They may have been facing some major financial trouble, some mental health issues, some family struggles. Did they overcome them? Even if you don’t know or they didn’t, YOU can. You can look back as a reference and this is the “scent of water”, the knowledge and wisdom that will help you to flourish! Is this some family issue that has been passed down? You need to know so that you can grow and change the course and give options to your generation. Also, to the ones that are coming behind you.

The root chakra, is energy that inside of you (because you are energy) at the base of the spine. Did you know the spine is the first thing formed and it grows from the bottom, the root, upwards? (check neural tube). Therefore, think of the root chakra, represented by the color red, as the house of energy that holds the ROOT of who you are. Think of it as the foundation and the formation of the body you are living in. Now, if the foundation or the formation (how you were treated, raised, the things you encountered growing upwards, the things you did or were done to you, the things that you were taught or not, family (including ancestral roots (ways, culture, ideas positive or negative, right or wrong)) is not firm or needs work or even ripped up and replaced, that’s a problem that can be resolved. The foundation and formation makes for stability or instability.

Perhaps what you are dealing with creates stress, anxiety, sleeping problems, fears, and nightmares. Well, here is your “scent of water”. What was said above is some information for you, if you choose to take it. Also, here is some more water (information), MEDITATION will help ground you. It will aide in your stability. You’re already meditating on the negative and creating fears, doubts, worry, etc. Meditate on the scriptures and references of your religion that give you stability. Find affirmations or quotes that you can “meditate” or focus on. You can actually do a meditation sitting in your chair or on the floor with a YouTube mediation video or your use your phone as a timer. You can focus on nothing or you can focus on a positive outcome. You can sit and repeat your affirmations or scriptures that are related to your situation.

Below are affirmations from Shawna Freshwater, PhD to help with ROOT issues:

I feel centered
I am home
I am connected to my body
My body is my home
I feel safe and secure
I stand for my values, truth, and justice
I have what I need
I am kind and compassionate to myself
I am infinite possibilities
I am grateful for challenges because they make me stronger
I am fearless
I trust myself
I love myself
I trust true source which is universal divine mother providing for my basic needs
I nurture myself with healthy food, clean water, clean air, exercise, relaxation, and connection to nature

From my own religion that I identify with, Christianity here are some I chose to share (hence meditating on the Word day and night type of thing:

God is my Source

God will provide all of my needs according to his riches

I was created by love therefore I am love and I am loved deeply by the Creator

I am guided into all truth and the truth will give me freedom

I am standing on the promises of the Word of God and the words of God spoken directly to my spirit

I hear the instructions of the His words and I do them. I am laying a solid foundation.

One thing I like to repeat when I don’t know what to do is this: I know what to do even when I don’t know what to do. Why? Because it brings me the solution quickly and it helps to stabilize my mind and root(foundation). It can come in the form of money, instructions from a spiritual being, a book, a dream, a thought, etc. because I have no concern with how it gets to me or who brings it. I am relying on a God that has no limit and can choose to use whatever and whoever.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Rooted, Roots, and Root

Yesterday, I opened the curtains to the kitchen window and I saw a cardinal. I didn’t think much about it with the exception that maybe it was a sign from a loved one. My oldest brother that passed away in February. I went on with my day and I decided to put on a red shirt. Then I took it off because it’s a shirt I wear often but, no other shirt seem to fit right or look right or was wrinkled. I said to myself, red shirt it is. Red is the color for the day I said aloud.

I went on to the grocery store and as I was on the aisle looking for a good salsa. I’d given up because I didn’t know what to pick since my favorite changed it’s recipe. A man that was on the same aisle said to me, “If you want a good salsa, this is the one!” He handed me the bottle. Bright red salsa. I went to my next stop and a woman, with red hair introduced me to a few of her favorite things she buys from there. I don’t know why but, I went with it. When I got home for the day, finished the things I needed to do, and settled down all of this dawned on me. RED.

Let me listen to a meditation about the root chakra. Let me read something about the root chakra and this red color. Oh, the scripture, 6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 1 Colossians 2:6-7

I TOTALLY got the message for me on yesterday. I do know how many have been taught to forsake things we really don’t have to forsake and to only read a list of books approved by their church and to be afraid of anything that is not of your faith…yeah…weird. BUT, in all my getting I like to get an understanding. I also like to think for myself. In doing the meditation I could see how I was blocked. In reading the article, I could see how I was stagnate and I could also see scriptural references from my own faith. Hence, 1 Colossians 2. In that same article, I saw the link between my ancestral roots and family roots and the importance of knowing and understanding them.

As I have decided to dive into this, linking my faith with an understanding of spiritual things, I am going to leave you with the article I read. I hope it blesses you real good.

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: Money and Mindset

Backyard Sky View

Let me explain: I was blessed with a $2500 debt cancellation. Last Friday, I was paying bills and I started to get upset about so much money leaving my account. I remembered that I did RECEIVE the services or goods that I am paying for. SO, I tried to get into GRATITUDE while paying bills. I usually do this whenever I pay bills, “Well, thank God I have the money to pay the bills. I pray and thank God that I will receive 100 times or more or God’s perfect will of what goes out.” Or “Money never runs out. There is an abundance of money available to me.” Something like that. Sometimes I feel good about it, and sometimes like FRIDAY I struggle with it.

I am so open to however money shows up, I do expect it to drop from the sky and grow on trees BUT, I also expect to CREATE. I use to think poverty thoughts more than abundant thoughts. When I start feeling the poor thoughts: I’ll never have. This is so hard. Don’t dream that. OR when I start to get upset because of what I CANNOT DO RIGHT NOW, I breathe. I step back. I get into GRATITUDE by thinking about HOW RICH and WEALTHY I already am. AND NOT ONLY with money but, with love, compassion, family, friends, food, shelter, sight, breath, hearing, etc.

I take the pressure off put on by society or myself to CATCH UP or to make up for lost time. I am where I am and I am never too old for the manifestation of what I desire. One can always change their desires, goals, and dream NEW dreams. I think about where I have come from and how much I have grown. I ask to help or bless somebody in whatever way I can. CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS, your mind is A CHALLENGE you have to accept if you want to change your life or circumstances. I am not where I want to be financially, spiritually, etc. BUT you can count on the FACT that I will continue trying until I leave here. AND THAT IS THE VICTORY. I can feel good about actively trying along with affirmations, prayers, a grateful heart and the manifestations that do occur.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Middle Ground

When you are healing or getting over a situation there is a middle ground. A gray space. A partly cloudy with a chance of rain. In this rarely talked about space, you can see sunshine and then clouds. You can see a beautiful sunrise and sunset and then out of seemingly nowhere, heavy rain. Here is the comfort: You are almost there. You are almost to the closing up of the wound. You are almost to the healing phase. You just have to rest and keep moving.

In this middle ground, this gap, do you know what you need? You sincere, specific, meaningful prayer, meditation, and affirmations. Stand in the gap of this moment. This where you go in deep. This where you stand in the corner and pray. This where you lay prostrate and wail if need be. This is where you lose your self in the silence of meditation.

This is also where good flows in. The sunshine, the sunrises, and the sunsets. This where light comes into the cracks. You get ah ha moments, deep revelations, vivid visions, and waves of goodness. It’s where nature speaks and heals. It’s where messages come from the strangest places and things. Embrace it with your whole mind and heart.

May the Lord (the Law) bless you. May the Lord (the Law) keep you. May the Lord (the Law) make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord (the Law), lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace. The Bible, Numbers 6:24-26

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: You Can Sit With Us, The Black People’s Edition

You know the scenario, the new kid walks into the lunch room looking for a familiar face or a place to sit only to choose a table and hear the words, “You can’t sit with us.” It’s the mean girls slogan for newcomers and it’s transferred over in so many cultures and into the work place. Why? Because mean people and childish adults exist in every culture, race, and they exist in institutions and corporations. EVEN CHURCHES!

In my race and culture I have found the same exclusivity in almost every situation imagined. I’ve been in churches where it wasn’t said but dutifully noted, “You can’t sit with us.” I have been on a job, walked into the breakroom, looking for my people and got the eyes of, “Un uh. Who are you? You can’t sit with us.” I was in my 20’s working at a well known corporate office and into the cafeteria walks the new black girl with her tray. She looks around nervously for a place to sit and I wave my hand like , “Here, over here!” She didn’t work in my department but, I saw her as she was given the tour. She came to the table and said, “Oh, thank you so much!” Eventually, she found her people in her department but, we kept friendly the entire time I was there. I’ve done this, make room and space, numerous times in settings where black men or women find themselves in a room full of us or not, with no idea how to navigate that socially awkward moment. I’ve done it for ANYONE.

I’ve been asked, “Why did you invite “HER” to our table?” or “Do you know them?” I invited her because she was black, a woman, a minority. I invited them because I have been them not because I know them and it wouldn’t hurt to get to know them. It’s okay to hold space until people find their place. It’s the nice, polite, kind thing to do.

Sunday, I attended the wedding of a friend. He was the groom. When I walked into the backyard of his cousin’s home, decorated beautifully, I didn’t know anyone that was there. I navigated towards a table that had a couple sitting at it. I spoke and sat down. I did the unthinkable and started with “small talk”. Before you knew it, we were talking and laughing. We were joined by two more of their family members and just as easily as the conversation started with the couple, so it was with the two additional family members. The people I was sitting with actually ended up being family of the bride. The conversation and laughs blossomed into the things we had in common, life, food, travel, an on the spot order of my chocolate covered strawberries, a remedy for bad knees (lol) and I now have “new” cousins and an additional auntie.

It doesn’t hurt us to be friendly, warm, and inviting to that unfamiliar yet familiar face. In society, we are often considered the outsider. The unequal. The not good enough. We should always, always welcome our own when given the opportunity. Especially, in our own social circles and environments.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Are We Done Yet or Are We Finished?

There is something about growth that I HATE when it comes to letting a relationship go or it letting me go. That part is “feeling sad”. No one enjoys it I know. But, I am speaking on when you have already learned the lesson (s) and you are ready to move on BUT you can’t because here comes a thought, a memory, an instinct, a knee jerk response to pick up the phone and can call their number. Then you are like, “Oh. Yeah. Can’t do that.” But I’ve got the lessons for me this time around:

  • Sometimes second chances don’t work out.
  • It wasn’t a waste of your time because your intentions were clear, pure, and true.
  • You learned to respect a person’s right to not feel the way you feel and to bow out (maybe not so gracefully but, hey as well as expected). This is your GREATEST LESSON.
  • Sometimes the friendship within the relationship also come to an end.

I understand. Now, let’s move on. Well, not so fast. And why not? Because you can’t rush time and you can’t rush growth. It’s like a plant and you can’t rush the growth of the plant after you have watered it. Even after you get the lesson, like water, it has to soak in. It has to get to the root. I’m ready to not feel sadness or loneliness but, it’s not happening as quick as I would like it to. So let’s soak it in with affirmations:

  • I am worthy of a love that flows freely from the heart
  • I am loved deeply and eternally by my twin flame soul mate
  • I am worthy to be a priority
  • I am worthy of a rich friendship within my relationship

SOAK IT UP. SOAK IT IN. LET IT GET TO THE ROOTS and SOAK IN THE SUN. AND JUST SIT THERE LIKE A PLANT. AND BE PATIENT. Affirmations or just the truth, is the water!

I keep checking on my plants as I am learning gardening on the fly. All of the plants I planted with the exception of the elephant ears were already in a bloomed state. I check on my plants almost everyday and I am disappointed when I don’t see a sign of the elephant ears blooming but, I am pleased to see some of the other plants thriving. When I do see growth I am shocked because it seems as if it wasn’t there yesterday or the day before! One day, I am sure I will notice the sadness has disappeared and the memories aren’t as vivid. They don’t come with pain or loneliness. WOW! GROWTH! When did you get here?! Neverminded that! Welcome!

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: The Energy of May

I know we are 16 days into May but, this may help you to make it through the rest of the month. There is nothing like understanding the “season” we are in or the signs of the times. Why? Some may say. Well, it’s because knowledge is power and you can govern your actions and responses accordingly.

The “energy of May” brings us independence, confidence, and new beginnings through the number 1. Biblically, it represents God. God is self sufficient, needing nothing to do what needs to be done except energy. We, being like gods in the earth, are self sufficient. We need nothing but energy to thrive. It’s the whole “We lack nothing. Everything we need to succeed is within” thingy. 1 is motivating. 1 is the number of the pioneer. It’s time to break new ground. Take a different path. Start a new project. Do something you have not done before. That type of energy is in the air.

This is not the time for drama, chaos, or confusion. If this is anywhere near you, get away from it. Shut it down and do not be pulled into conflict. You do not have time for it. The 1 energy is focused! It is ready to take control of it’s future. It’s ready to create or to embrace new beginnings.

The 1 energy is confident and independent. It will not wait for the approval of others. In fact, it is not concerned about who is for it or against it. The 1 energy will ride alone. 1 has a plan and is ready to execute it. If it fails, it learns. If it succeed, it learns. This it the mindset of the 1 energy.

Goals are being achieved with this energy. Advances are being made. It is self motivated and has self determination. There are no excuses and innovation is used to overcome obstacles.

What’s your passion? What’s your purpose? Begin the great work! You’ve written the vision, you’ve made it plain, and now it’s time to take action. Do your part and let the CREATOR take care of the logistics. A positive attitude and optimism is required in this season. Total faith and trust in yourself and in God, the Creator, the Universe, or whatever you call the Higher Power is how you move in this season.

Godspeed,

~Nikki