Compositions of my life energy
My bank account is like a garden that is always growing.
I know how to manage my money.
Money making opportunities are available to me.
I am connected to Source that has the resources for me.
I love what I do and I make money doing it.
I have multiple streams of income.
I know how to save money.
There is no limit to the amount of money I can make.
I wish you would learn to let go of things that weren’t intended to be yours. I wish you the ability to wave goodbye to the things that don’t fit into your story, walking away with your head held high and your feet pointed forward, moving slowly but steadily in the direction of the things […]
It’s My Hope For You — Be Inspired..!!
I’m not sure how to tell you this but, your young adult is now a young adult. They have been off to college doing whatever they wanted to. Going to bed when they get ready, eating what they want, hanging out with friends, and making decisions about their wellbeing, relationships, and life. You, too, have been relieved of some of your duty to parenting them by not making these decisions for them. It seems to me they have done okay as they are returning to you alive and perhaps well. “Well” is up for discussion because going to college produces stress and mental health issues so many parents are unaware of but that’s another topic to explore.
As they return home, to your home, their home, they may need some help adjusting and you, too. Brace yourself, they have friends they want to see, places they want to go, and things they want to do that do not involve you. This may make you feel left out and unwanted. This is the moment you may need to remember; those feelings are valid but they are not facts about how your young adult feels about you.
I have learned not to plan out my daughter’s schedule and not to hog all of her time. Keyword, learned. I didn’t think about or take into consideration the things I mentioned above. Also, they may want to lay around the house and that’s okay. College life has been hectic. I usually give my daughter two weeks to just chill and semi-chill. The first week I don’t require anything. The second week she has to begin helping with dishes, cleaning and meals. I don’t tell her when to do her laundry or if she should fold it or not. She’s been doing laundry at school. HER WAY. I don’t tell her to eat. I only ask that we eat dinner together if she doesn’t have plans to be out because that’s been a staple in our family.
She doesn’t have to check with me for permission to make plans with her friends. I only require to know where she is going and that she comes home no later than 2 a.m. Yes. 2 a.m. and she’s usually back before then. She checks in or I check in on her from time to time while she is out. She texts to let me know she is on the way home. This is something we both came to an understanding on. I think it’s important to tell your children, sincerely, why you want to know where they are and who they are with. It’s okay to tell them you care and worry about their safety and it eases your mind to know they are okay. I had to explain I am not coming where you are or I’m not trying to monitor your every move but, if you need me or something happens, I will have a general idea of where you were. What if I didn’t let you know I was going to a particular mall and you haven’t heard from me in 3 hours? Honestly, wouldn’t you call me? Of course, she would. I am pretty sure she goes places in between. We all do it at times.
I ask for us to spend some time together. Well, I had to do this in the beginning and now it’s just expected. I throw out some ideas or events in the city we could attend together or just a movie or binge night. We get our laptops and game (Yes, I do some gaming) or surf social media. We snack and just vibe. She usually outlasts me staying up. Also, I let her know ahead of time what family events are happening and she usually knows which ones are negotiable.
We talk about moods and attitudes. I have them. You have them. They have them. If I don’t want to be bothered, if I have something on my mind, if I am dealing with anxiety or depression, I say so. If I don’t know what I’m feeling, I say that, too. We have learned to ask, “Would you like to talk about it? Do you need me to just listen or give advice? Is there anything I can do for you?” Now, I don’t advise talking about certain things with your young adult. They have their own burdens but using wisdom to let them in on some things is okay. I think it lets them know that you’re human and not just a parent lol. My daughter has actually given some great advice and peptalks.
This summer, I am trying something new. I wanted to set an intention or a tone to the summer. What is it that I want from the summer and what is it I want to give? I asked her to think about the same thing. So often we have different ideas on what we want our summer or vacation or time off to be about (when we have days off not for appointments or illness). Do you want it to be filled with activities? Do you want to have some activities or a few major activities? Do you want to lounge around? Travel extensively or not at all? What’s the tone or mood for this summer? We asked her to get some rest this summer as next semester is her last before graduation. She’s been working on campus and during the summer at home. She plans to work less. I encourage her to enjoy time with her friends and family more this summer.
All of this really takes a mindset change and if you have young children, it is pertinent you develop a deeper relationship with your child other than I am your authority figure, your protector and provider. Get to know your child. Your ever-changing child. Share some life lessons that come not at a time of frustration or in the form of a teaching moment once they have done something wrong. Listen to their ideas and don’t be so quick to correct, shoot them down, or judge. I told my daughter she could tell me anything. She could call me about anything. If she needed a ride home from a party I would come and get her and her friends without yelling and fussing. I would indeed have a talk the next day. So far, I haven’t had to pick her up from a party but she does call about anything and I have to refrain from judging or seeing her as me. She is not me.
~Nikki
When I say “the energy” of May, some of my church people get nervous. Relax, it’s the same as we say “atmosphere” in church. Breathe. Everything carries an energy. You are energy.
May’s energy gives you clarity about your gifts and your path. It weighs in especially on those that have the gifts of healing, teaching, and creativity. And as this energy of clarity arises it will cause you to become “busy” and where there is busy there has to be “balance”.
There will be new beginnings.
This is a great time to OPEN UP. To tell people how you feel about them. Get in touch with someone you have not heard from in a long time. It’s a good time to speak your truth on all levels right now or practice speaking it. This will strengthen your throat chakra (your voice) and in turn strengthen you. It will confirm you and give you strength. Speak.
Life lessons are showing up. Embrace them. If there ever was a time to be grateful, this is one. Every day of May, think of the things you are grateful for. It could be grateful to hear the birds sing to grateful for winning the lottery. Be grateful for life lessons and life changes. They will bring you wisdom and make you more mature. They will bring you experience that will help you…to help others.
You are supported. You will be able to feel it as well as know it. Bask in that.
~Nikki
This “musing” isn’t technically a Sunday Morning Coffee Musing but more of a Sunday Evening Coffee Musing.
It is well with my soul.
All things are working together for my good.
Obedience is greater than sacrifice in this season.
Wealth and riches remain in my house.
BREATHE.
Although my knees are tender (from Rheumatoid Disease), I’ve had a blessed Sunday. I was able to get the rest of the flowers in the ground this evening. (This is me resting, ha! Got to use my energy while I have it.) I realized I have been in ministry for 20 years today. I also was asked to speak at my home church today and it went really well.
After resting for a while, I began feeling a little disappointed because several things plagued my mind. There are so many things I want to do and need to do. It can overwhelm me. It’s too much to process at one time. I know this came about as I had to decline an invitation to take a cruise with family. It’s just not my season, again. I have other priorities. Although, I thought last year, this year would be different.
With that said, in order for me not to sink any lower in my thoughts and feelings, and for you not to sink any lower when your heart’s desires don’t line up with your pockets or you are not seeing manifestation quick enough, you have to speak life, gratitude, and call those things that be not as though they were. I started feeling bad about not being able to do several things and I just began to quote: IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.
~Nikki
This week I simply didn’t visit any sites, other than Amazon, that I shop on. When I became bored, I found other things that needed to be done or could be done. I told myself things like, “I wouldn’t know I missed it if I didn’t see it” and “It will be there when you need it” so, CHILL OUT NIKKI. You’ve done this before.
What I am learning about my spending and financial habits is my need to get it all right now. The urgency of if I don’t get it all right now, it won’t be there. And by “all” I don’t mean hoarding or buying so much of the same thing because it’s on sale that I don’t think about others who may need the item or discount as well. That’s right. I think we should think of others. I mean if I have things, I want to get done like have someone paint the family room, get the house power washed, install light fixture, I tend to think I need it all done at once. I have to remind myself often, “You don’t have to and you can’t do it all at once.” Where do I get this unrealistic idea for myself from? I think it’s a fantasy that comes from TV or the lifestyle of the rich and famous. The majority of us SAVE for what we want and need. Also, the failure of not having enough to get it ALL done because shouldn’t I have enough money to be able to do just that? And if I don’t, I must be mismanaging my money and maybe I should have chosen a better career. Finished college beyond an Associate’s Degree. WHEW!
I also USED to do this with to-do lists until my therapist helped me to see my life had changed and I could no longer do it all. In fact, I wasn’t doing it all, all of the time, perfectly anyway. He helped me to see the unhealthy burden and pressure I was placing on myself. You know, the A and B making student. The do everything just right, perfect, on time, before time may have won me points, certificates, awards, and treats in school and on the job but, with increasing responsibilities like being a mom, working and going to school or being diagnosed with a physically limiting disease, it was unnecessary. It was no longer sustainable. There was no one to impress or please. There never was except myself and God (for me). And even God doesn’t need to be impressed by me.
The internal dialogue I carried was, “I could never please my mother. So, when teachers were pleased and employers were pleased, I finally made someone happy. Going over and beyond for boyfriends or people meant someone was happy. Even if it was at my expense.” The expense of my tired body, the expense of my time, money, the expense of my mind and feelings. Match this up with a giver and empath and you have a huge mess. So, feeling the pressure of I need to do it all and do it now or I have failed after all of these years, still seeps into many things. Even my finances. Even after much work in therapy.
It’s unhealthy. It’s unrealistic. So, here I am changing my thinking about money and learning about myself. AGAIN. Yep. HERE I GROW AGAIN.
~Nikki
You’d be amazed at what could happen in less than an hour. I met a master gardener. Better known as an angel. This lady took my cart and wheeled it around and the both of us put my flower bed together. She said don’t worry about Home Depot we got this. She gave me so much wisdom about gardening with just a few nuggets. She even pulled my cart up front. It was like being taken under the wings of a sage. Every gardener admired my selection.
And then I pulled my cart up to valet for my plants and the man says let me get you a number. He grabbed the number 44 which is one of my favorite numbers or any sequence of four. The lady says what number did you give her? Let me see that. She said oh you have a good number that’s the year we were born and we’re married. Are you married? I know we’re not supposed to ask that anymore in this Society. I said not yet. This may be a sign. She said it’s a good number for us.
Last photo is a Bergonia
Garden Tips:
Plant in odd numbers
You don’t have to buy so many of plants that spread like Hostas or Elephant Ears. You may overcrowd your space because they comeback every year with increase
Ferns are beautiful. Except a woodland fern will take over and they are hard to get rid of.
Look for a thick stem, healthy looking stem. Anything limp or broken needs to be removed to conserve energy.
Don’t plant them too close to each other. They need room to spread their roots.
Don’t plant too deep. Where you see it’s already planted in the nursery pot is where you plant up to.
Once you plant, break up the soil around it to give roots room to spread.
Sodium nitrate
Plant the day before a rain if you can
~Nikki
Fail!
The very first week of April I went to Macy’s with my mom and spent money on something I did not need.
Let’s roll back tape. So, I knew I was going to spend quite a bit during my birthday month in March. I have no regrets about that. Okay, one regret. I could have saved that splurge that put me $80 over budget but, since it’s something I can’t return, I may as well let the regret go. I decided in March that April would be a NO SPEND month to reign me back in. I have things I need to do and things I want to do and saving money is one of those things. I also want to be able to enjoy myself while I save. But to what extent? Is that possible? Plus, it’s going to take more than a month to save what I want to save. One should always save. I didn’t go on any vacations last year. Going out of town for a conference or chaperoning my daughter and her friends were not a vacation. I do want to get away this year and I DO care where I go. I care that it is budget friendly.
Since I failed the first week, I decided that April 9-May 9 would be my month mark. I also decided that I needed to understand WHY I wanted to FAST from spending and what were the rules to this? What could I buy and not buy? What did I hope to gain or accomplish? I have not had the best of luck when it comes to saving. What do I mean by that? In the past whenever I save, something happens. It seems I can’t get to where I want to be as fast as I would like to.
I had car trouble this week. ASTRONOMICAL the cost to get my car fixed. Once again what I had saved has dwindled right before my eyes. At least, it’s almost and not completely wiped out. Maybe that’s not a bright side but a partly cloudy side?
~Nikki
No one can be there for you 24/7 and you can’t be there for people 24/7 either. Folks have lives outside of you and you have other things going on.
Yeah, you will be disappointed and let down in this life. You don’t have to be mad and upset with people that couldn’t be there for you. Because guess what? You’ll let someone down. They’ll be disappointed because you couldn’t show up.
There isn’t but one person that can be there for you 24/7 and that’s you. And even that’s shaky at times. There is a GOD that is there 24/7. And that’s going to have to be enough if you’re going to depend on any being to get through this life. So, forgive them, give grace and mercy. You’d want it. Let it go. They are only human and so are you!
~Nikki
Let God support you.
You think if others are not supporting you, God isn’t either. False. Don’t project on to God all of your concerns about the authority figures in your life, friends or relatives. God is not involved or part of the dysfunctions of a hierarchical society. Trust God’s love. God would not only heal you but God will support you as well.
~Nikki
Nikki's Confetti Life 