The ability to move on after a set back, after a break up or a break down, calls for courage and the building up of self esteem. Also, the ability to move on, ignore, deal with the small fires that poop up, the rude comments, the opinions and attempted sabotage on our reputations or goals is empowering. Why? Because you don’t exert energy into the small things, the minors in life. Why major in the minor annoyances of life when you can put your energy into dreams and goals or the other things that need to be done that day? Reserve your energy for what really matters.
Keep it Moving. You have things to do, places to go, and people to see.
I had researched enough. I had practiced enough. I had thought about it long enough. I had stood on the sidelines watching and observing others. It was time to JUMP. TRY MY HAND AT IT. LEARN AND LIVE THROUGH THE PROCESS. RIDE THE WAVES. It was writing a book. It was putting it out there. It was learning to crochet, selling it, and doing festivals. It was working on a mini-series. It was taking sewing lessons. It was creating abstract art and putting it out there for the world to see.
JUMP. It’s scary. It’s nerve wracking. It’s exhilarating. It’s freeing. It’s fun. It’s faith building for sure!
the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes.
Observing what I am THINKING behind what I am saying and doing, checking my OWN EMOTIONS behind what I am saying and doing is forces me to examine myself. LEARNING to this BEFORE I say and do is the POWER in the EMPOWERING myself! In order to do this you must be honest with yourself about what you are really thinking and feeling. Before you “lose it” at the person behind the counter for getting your order wrong, what are you REALLY thinking and feeling before you arrived at the place? On the job? Home? Is it s right thought? Is it a right action? Are you mad about what happened on the job? Are you stressed about bills? Are you unhappy in your relationship? And you go out into the world already “feeling and thinking” about something. So, when your child gets in the car and forgets to tell you they have practice you “lose it.”
We are often good at reading others, but can we read ourselves. Checks and balances with yourself through introspective empowers you to be a better person. For me, it works for me because I can locate my mental state and emotions and MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION about what I am really feeling. Therefore, I can handle the wrong order at the counter better. I can avoid having to apologize to coworkers, a child, or a mate about your outburst or sudden mood change. I have the power to address the real issues on my job instead of taking it out on other people that have not a clue about my money problems. I learn my triggers. I also have the power to address my mental and emotional state to solve the real problems. I place my energy where it needs to go and not on the nearest person or distraction.
I embrace all of my good qualities. I look at qualities or practices that no longer serve me and began the work of evolving from those into something which serves my higher self. Also, I examine myself often. I challenge what others say about me and then I examine myself to see if that is true. If it is, I work on it. If it is not, I discard it. Perhaps, I try to represent my feelings and thoughts in such a way it is clear. However, I don’t get caught up in trying to explain and clarify too much because I realize some people are going to misconstrue what I say anyway. This is when I began to avoid or put distance or lessen interactions with this individual who clearly has a personal problem with me.
How do you develop drive? I am not sure. But, for me it seems to happen when I remember I really want change. The desire to change my situation, finish a project, organize an event and marking things off my list seem to drive me. It pushes me forward and moves me to get up after a lag in motivation or just a much needed rest. Desire, I believe, give way to drive.
Becoming. Allow yourself to become! We, that are doing the work on ourselves or just living our lives are all becoming something. The choice is yours. But, when you are trying to empower yourself, change, be a better person you can easily become frustrated. It takes time to become who you are becoming. Let it unfold and be patient with yourself. Numerous times I said yes when I wanted to say no and then found myself dealing with drama. There were times I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. I had to find my voice and then take the opportunities to use it! A decision to change overnight may come, but change itself won’t be overnight.
The authentic self is the soul made visible. -Sarah Ban Breathnach
AUTHENTICITY. I took a journey to excavate my authentic self and it turned out to be the most POWERFUL tool in empowering myself. Who am I before religion, before all of the trauma and drama, before I was shaped and molded into the woman I had become to know, loathe, and then love? I had learned to love myself as I was, which was powerful, but when I remembered, dug deeper into who I was before all of this, before I admitted how I TRULY FELT ABOUT EVERYTHING I WAS TAUGHT in home, in school, in life, in church…that real honesty that can make you feel guilty because you know, they say it’s wrong…or it’s not lady like or it’s not part of our culture or God is going to strike you down. God’s going to write it down and he is reading your thoughts and recording them. Whew, child! I had to now accept my TRUE SOUL and love her all the more. I had to do away with some of my outdated thinking and programmed thinking. I had to move beyond the Black/African American-AMERICAN culture. I had to remember the free little girl in her free moments laying in the backyard looking towards the sky. The little girl sitting on the step of the front porch daydreaming. The little girl before being horrifically teased about being black with naturally red hair. Before prejudice and racism. Before, abuse and before the beat down of self esteem and the rip off of a budding fashion designer. I am more than a preacher’s daughter. I am more than a Christian, if I am that in fact. (Still discovering).
My authentic self is like this megaphone echoing throughout the universe. “Here I am! Here is the real me! Love it, like it, leave it, NAMASTE.” If you are mean, miserable, biased, rude, insensitive, lying to yourself about what you really think and feel, carrying the torch for known evil, etc.. I highly recommend EXCAVATING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. If you hate anyone in this world, if you love division, if you can’t see people for people, then you’re probably not as REAL as you claim to be. If you are about ZEN life, Yoga/Yogi, spirituality, but when a person of color walks in you ignore them and their knowledge or experience you probably need some excavating. But I must warn you that becoming your authentic self can be daunting and painful work. It may cause you to lose friends and family and to leave you lonely at times. It may make you feel funny and it may make others living a carbon copy life question your sanity. With that being said, GO FOR IT.