Anxiety and Covid-19

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How are you feeling? How are you dealing with this roller coaster ride that none of us asked to be on? I realized today, as I had to get out to get some staples, that my shortness of breath was due to anxiety. A few weeks before the Stay At Home Order,  I thought I was “simply” having shortness of breath in the store. It happened again as I had to get my medication at the pharmacy. I do have an anxiety and the doctors do not know why. So, they gave me an inhaler. It happened again today and this is when it dawned on me what was happening. I was having an anxiety attack. The first time this happened it was scary!

The moment it dawned on my I remembered what I was taught to do in therapy. It helped. I got what I needed and a few other items and got out of there. I was glad the store marked lines on the floor so customers were not on top of each other. Once I took items to my parents, I came home, discarded my clothes, washed my hands, put food away and used hand sanitizer that I made. I flip on the TV and there was BREAKING NEWS about the cases being up in the U.S. 209,000. Two people on my friend list have lost love ones due to the virus. Deep BREATH.

I rely on meditation, medication, guided meditation, prayer, and yoga. I rely on affirmations and scriptures. I limit my news intake. I will snooze friends on social media that report the news constantly or are heavy on conspiracy theories and spread fake news. I have learned that you must be pro-active and active when it comes to your mental health. Does this ALWAYS work? Of course not! BUT I TRY. And by try I mean, I take the steps, I do what my therapist recommends, I put forth real effort MOST of the time. I’m human and many times anxiety gets the best of me.

These are different times and I find following the rules and guidelines help to ease the mind. Eating decent meals, fruits, and veggies helps the body. I am not a health nut. I have both ice cream and spinach in the fridge. I  take it day by day turning my fear into faith by posting positive things, blogging, and encouraging others. I love helping others.

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~Nikki

 

Woman Powered Up: The Epiphany

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A few weekends ago, I did something I’ve always wanted to do. I held my first public gathering for women. A seminar? Luncheon? Empowerment? Yes, all of that, BUT so much more. My goal was for it to be non-religious, more spiritual and diverse experience. What I mean by that is you’re free to be yourself, say what you REALLY say to your girlfriends when the cameras are off and Sunday is over. The speakers were allowed to TRULY be themselves. The women were free to come as Buddhists, Christians, nonbelievers, etc. It was all inclusive.

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Harmony & Balance in Color UNPLANNED ❤ 

 

It was impressed upon me by Spirit to have the purpose to be something of an “epiphany” of the HEART, MIND, SOUL, BODY, & SPIRIT. Each speaker addressed that area with complete honesty and authenticity. One spoke on SEX and HIV. Safe sex and the high rate of HIV we have in the city of Memphis. This was the Body Epiphany.

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Tell ’em Giovanni about the power we have over our bodies! 

Next was the Soul Epiphany. This speaker spoke on the “SOUL of a WOMAN” and the Power that is embodied in that soul. It is the fuel of life! The power of the soul of the woman changes the atmosphere it is in and out changes lives.

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Power in the Soul of a WOMAN

The Heart Epiphany was about self love and the hard work it takes to TRULY love yourself. It’s important to know the difference between self care and self love. You can go to a spa for a week and come home to the same chaotic relationships, family-ships, and friendships.

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Serious Business, Reap the Rewards of Self Love 

The Spirit Epiphany…wow! Merging the traditional religion of Christianity with WHO you really are and WHAT you really believe is something that takes courage and authenticity. And this speaker has them both. She gave us a glimpse into her journey.

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A Freed Spirit! Namaste and Amen! 

 

What can you do without your mind? The Mind Epiphany was about the importance of mental health, well being, redefining the narrative, and what to do if you discover…YOU ARE THE PROBLEM?

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Mind Boss, Straight Talk and No Chaser

 

 

ALSO on deck was a very important agency in my city, Memphis, known as THE CORNER. Free testing for STDS and HIV, information, and the help for anyone who finds themselves in this situation. This organization is vital in our community and one of their representatives, Queen was a jewel of knowledge!

 

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Queen on her knowledge of facts on facts! Stats on stats!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to step out into my own. I may not have gotten the chance to do everything I wanted to do for my birthday month, but I got to do the most important thing and this was it!!!

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JUMPSUIT  on clearance from Lane Bryant $39 was $89.99

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The vendors were spectacular! I’m sure they made their vendor fees back and enjoyed the event. I can’t wait to improve this for next year. Let’s GROW!

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~Nikki

Make up Confetti: Make Up for What?

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During the Quarantine, we remain diligent and prayerful, but we also remain optimistic and in good spirits. It’s important to my mental health, that affects my physical health, (stress and anxiety, depression affects your physical health!) that I remain finding a balance between things to do and rest.

Well, one time I tried to do a smokey eye and I ended up looking like a raccoon! I never tried it again. Well, I decided to try a brown smokey eye. I am not an MUA or professional when it comes to make up. I grew up where it really wasn’t that complicated. Foundation, which I rarely use, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. So I followed two tutorials last night. One for a basic face and the other for the smokey. Of course, I watched a few and picked two that I really liked.

I would say it came out pretty good. I posted it and I hope my FBFs weren’t lying to me lol! Most said I did a good job. It was fun and funny. I have never put mascara on my lower lashes or eye shadow underneath the waterline (eyeliner). Overall, I would do this again and I am now more open to trying other looks I like. Below are the two tutorials I used.

 

 

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

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It’s ironic that Kenny Rogers passed on yesterday and I was thinking of using the lyrics from one of his songs as a blog titled. First, let me say, Rest in Love to Mr. Rogers. I always thought he was handsome and enjoyed his music, his voice.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had another dating “lesson” (not fail). It really wasn’t much of a lesson. It was more like a blessing and a test. I am happy to report I passed the test with flying colors. EVERYTHING was going smooth. I was really digging this guy, but I was also holding back a little. I think that is what made the difference as far as not being terribly disappointed. Listening to my intuition telling me to hold back, slow down, no rush, was key. TRUSTING THAT INTUITION. The evidence, however, came from God’s revelation of showing me what was hidden, what I could not see. Once revealed and after an all day conversation, the individual dropped communication just as easy as he had began it with me.

Listen, you don’t have to have HUGE pieces of evidence, huge RED flags blowing in the wind, you don’t have to collect small pieces of evidence, you just need to KNOW what you KNOW with the evidence you have. Pretending that you don’t see it, feel it, know it, is one of the worse things you can do. Another thing we do is when talking to an individual and the “stuff” (I want to say shit, but I am being nice & Christian like today), they are saying doesn’t make sense or barely makes sense, IS TO ACCEPT THE BULL! Why would you accept it? Maybe, you really like the person or don’t want to be alone. None of those are good reasons and you need to do some deep healing and soul searching to find out why you want to hold on to thorns thinking you have a rose when you really have a cactus.

If you see the signs in the beginning, get a feeling in the middle, you can trust it’s something going on after you have ruled your own insecurities out. If it feels off it’s because it is off. There is no time for trying to figure out, who, what, when, where, and how. There is no need for debates and explanations. No need for the WHY ME Lord. Sometimes you’ve got to get out of there and hit the road. Walking or Running. Don’t gamble with your heart or life. Certainly, don’t let others.

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done

-Kenny Rogers, Gambler

~Nikki

 

 

Last Friday Confetti: Gerald Chukwuma Art & Single In Memphis

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The amazingly, creative, mind blowing artwork of Gerald Chukwuma is on display in my city, Memphis, TN. at Art Village Gallery. The show was entitled Out of Africa: The Art of Fashion and was put on by the creative being, Khalifa Kofi. There was a fashion show, a live body art painting, and artwork on display. I cannot wait until she puts on more shows and to see the rest of what she has in store for us.

Ephraim Urevbum, is an artist and owner of ART VILLAGE GALLERY. We met her last Friday night and what a beautiful being! I can’t wait to bring my daughter to the gallery. As most of you know, both of us are artists.

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A Bird in The Hand

After the show, a friend and I walked across the street to Spindini’s for dinner. We didn’t know they had a live band that was playing some of the smooth jazz classics. The lady that was singing had a beautiful voice. I ordered the B.B. Queen cocktail and got the pizza I was craving. As two single ladies in Memphis, there was plenty to chat about. But, also plenty of other things to laugh about! There is plenty to do in Memphis and it’s time we all broaden our horizons and enjoy it.

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~Nikki

My First Public Event

Woman Powered Up

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Me the closer it gets to my first public event. I have done private events, conferences, empowerment seminars. But this is MY FIRST. I am always nervous during these events. I have decided to call it butterflies. This is my newborn baby project. I don’t expect it to crawl, walk, run, feed itself, change itself. I DO expect to be rewarded by the Universe as I am obedient to the Creator. Nicole, you do “alot” of things. Sometimes TOO MUCH and the MOST. But so did B. Smith and Martha Stewart. I can’t help who and what I am when I am operating in my AUTHENTIC vein. Check out my blog nikkisconfettilife.com and FB page Nikki’s Confetti Life

~Nikki

Valentine’s Night (I Think We Are Going To Need Back Up)

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I had plans! I vowed to not be at home tonight. I had cute dresses lined up to choose from. I was hanging out with singles. Maybe have a cocktail and enjoy great conversations. It turns out that my body had different plans. I’ve come to adjust to this most times and I know when to push through and when to stop. Rest. Yield. But I really, really, wanted to get out of this house!

I make chocolate covered strawberries every year. I’ve done this for almost 12 years. Yesterday, I had a very long day and lately I’ve become unusually tired in the afternoons. Yesterday was a day where things popped up left and right and put me behind on making berries. It also became an evening of pain with fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid. I did sleep sound but when I woke up it was hard to get out of the bed. My eyes were sore. I got up and got going. I thought my body would catch up with my mind and emotions but it never did.

So, instead of having a blog about my fabulous outing, here is one about my FUZZY night in.

I soak my hands in warm water and Epsom salt. They hurt from dipping berries. I order from the wing place literally one light away from my home. I decide to make this night a guilt free, indulge in web surfing, TV watching, anti lovey dovey watching movie night. I take a hot shower, get my FUZZY socks, and I chat it up online with whomever wants to talk. Whomever is home just like me. I’m in a few of my groups chatting and cheering up folks. I don’t answer the phone for anyone that is energy draining, complaining, disagreeable, or argumentative. Sorry, not tonight, I am in chill mode. I’ve got my incense burning and the name of the scent is Blessed Rest. And DEAR GOD do I need it! I’m bypassing the glass of Stella and opting for baked chocolate chip cookies and milk.

This…is PLAN B.

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~Nikki

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