Every month I will be sharing my lessons, reminders, and observations of the previous month. So it’s October and here is what I have gained or gleamed from September.
You can accept people as they are BUT, you DO NOT have to accept them into your physical space or your heart space.
You don’t have to always choose the hard way to learn or to love.
There is a time for everything. There is a time not to trust your logic or heart (emotions) but, to trust your intuition. This is the time to trust your intuition. Solar plexus. Quiet the heart and logic through prayer and meditation. Through exercise. Your intuition, the Holy Spirit, your holy spirit, will speak. This is ONE way to GAIN CLARITY. (I was desperate for clarity!)
Another way to CLARITY is to catch a hawks point of view. My daughter and I saw a Cooper’s Hawk at eyelevel which is rare. Rise above your feelings and thoughts and observe what you see. Above the confusion, above the chaos, is a view that allows you to sort things out QUIETLY and to gain…CLARITY. Be calm like the hawk. Be reserved. Be in control of YOU, your actions and reactions.
From a friend of mine, “There is a difference between an Alpha male and a Neanderthal.” If your definition of an alpha male is one that is one that is the leader of the pack, dominant, controlling, bossy, rude, pushy…I am not the one for you. I am in the market for a team player. Side by side. Go play golf.
I learned that I can manufacture confidence on the spot.
Let love come to me in it’s own time and in it’s own way. Anything I ever had too soon or too much of only made me ill.
Reminder: When you FEEL like you need to pray but, don’t know what to say, ask Spirit to pray for you and just be quiet. Be still. Just feel. Spirit will pray and you will receive what it is you cannot put into words.
Good Saturday (Rainy and Beautifully Gray here in Memphis, TN) Morning to you! I hope this post finds you well. I thought today would be a great day to share some thrifts, clearance and consignment finds. Enjoy!
I picked up the shoes and purse at a local consignment shop. This was my attire for last Sunday. The top is a Vince Camuto find on clearance and the skirt is from Target. The earrings I found at a yard sale.
The maxi sundresses and hats above and below are from (drum roll please) WAL-MART! The sundresses were $7 each and I have 4 of them. The hats were $5. The swing dresses and shorts were all $5! I bought a few dresses for family and THEY HAVE POCKETS!!!
I stop by this small town Wal-Mart often when I pick my daughter up from school. It’s my secret spot that often have hidden gems.
My spirit will not let up on “clarity”. It is calling me into clarity as of late August and into September. I have learned to NOT ignore this. So, I dive in wholeheartedly with most pulls of my spirit by the Spirit. Although, sometimes, I must admit I unwillingly give in.
Get quiet. Meditate.
Pay attention to the SIGNS. If you are a person like me that loves “signs and wonders” and is interested in symbolism (these things are Biblical as well FYI), then PAY ATTENTION to what stands out to you. I saw a Cooper’s Hawk perched on my neighbor’s mailbox in direct sight. We’ll talk about that Sunday but, look up what things mean that capture your attention.
In this journey of clarity, clouds will roll away and clouds will roll back in like the weather pattern. When Spirit dropped this in my Spirit, I was like “Oh, no. How long will this journey last?” Let’s get this over with is my thoughts. But, Spirit explained by bringing into my remembrance that this is LIFE and this CLARITY leg of the journey is to prepare me to SEE and understand better myself and others. So, when clouds, the cloudy mental moments come, I will understand where the confusion, anxiety, or depression is coming from. I will be able to navigate the mental fog BETTER. So this is TRAINING is necessary for my growth and my journey. Still, “ugh. okay.”
The process of clarity are keys to clarity. What’s the process? Well, you will find your process through therapy, hearing directly from Spirit, or GOOGLE. Yes, really. Google Gaining clarity and what resonates with you, go for it. For me thus far, it’s to get quiet. Guided meditation on clarity. PRAYER and after prayer, LISTEN for a response and be AWARE of any SIGNS sent my way. Also, do something I love or something that brings me joy and peace while I wait for the “clouds to roll away.”
And PATIENCE is required in the clarity process. I used to tell people, “I only have patience with the elderly and children.” I am much better NOW and getting better with being patient with others and myself. So, you will have to be patient as the cloudiness rolls to clarity.
Clarity gives insight to YOU, the situation, the people involved and helps you to construct a plan or a response. It’s your next move. Even if that move is to do nothing or let it go.
This is all I have learned in this “Clarity Course” so far. I am currently putting some of these things into practice.
What have you learned about clarity? How do you access clarity when your mind is cloudy or there is confusion in your life?
“In all your ways (decisions, steps, actions) acknowledge Him (see if what you are about to do is alignment with God, Higher Power, the Universe, Your True SPIRIT) and He shall direct (guide you) YOUR path.” – Proverbs 3:6, The Bible
Last week, I had a very bad fibromyalgia flare. I mean the kind that brings tears to your eyes. I was the chairperson of an event and I had things to do and very little help to do it. I pressed my way through by pacing myself, resting, and getting things done. As you may have read a few blog posts ago, I lost another loved one to Covid. This month has seem to be a month mixed with a variety of sufferings ranging from loss of loved one, increased physical pain, emotional challenges, and a few missed targets of gossip and misinformation.
It has also been a month of blessings and gratefulness. I feel it has been the turning point for me spiritually. Some parts of me that were dead to Christianity are showing signs of life and there seems to be some solid foundation in what I believe to be true about God. So, what is with so much suffering? The question is not why must we suffer but, why do we suffer?
I say we it’s not about a “must” suffering because there are choices we make that lead to suffering. The solution is to simply make better choices. However, there are things we are just going to go through that causes us to suffer. Incidents and accidents. The loss of love ones. Sickness. A not so good childhood. Relationships turned sour and rancid. Pause. Deep breath. I was sitting with my eyes closed listening to a Christian meditation, which was more like a reading of scriptures, and I heard this:
Suffering produces perseverance. It does? It does. Well, how does that work if the person suffering dies? The defeated suffering by moving into a realm where there is not suffering. To stay here, would have meant more suffering. Ok, but what if they suffered and lived and as they lived, they still suffered because of their illness or injuries? They persevere by pushing through, by treatments, by taking on each day, by adapting and attitude of positivity and gratitude. The persevere to and develop character that can help someone else to get through what they go through, something similar, or life all together. They learn a thing or two about suffering and pushing forward. They learn some things about weeping may endure for a night but, joy (enlightenment, understanding) comes in the morning. They learn about getting through it. Either hope seems to just appear for some and others make a conscious choice to hope. Hope for better days. Hope for a cure. Hope for new treatments. Hope for the suffering to end.
I got through those terrible flares like I got through some of the others. Perseverance. I get through some by suffering through them because no amount of pain meds, heating pads, or ice can help. I suffer through the hours to get to the next day and they subside. I persevere through it with prayer. That’s all I have sometimes. All I have is “hope”…hope this ends soon. Hope tomorrow is better. I “hope” they can figure out how to treat fibromyalgia soon or in the future so others will not have to…suffer.
Guess what? I had a healthy breakfast. I prayed, meditated, affirmations. My mood still hasn’t stabilized. I ate chocolate chocolate chip cookies and milk. My snack for tonight so, I can’t have that tonight again. 😩 What’s wrong Nicole? What’s the matter, Pooh Bear( family Nickname…don’t you call me this lol)? I’m frustrated. Why? Because there is too much to do, too much happening in my world and the world, I can’t keep up, and I can’t seem to get all of what I want in a man and things (people, men) keep showing up that are almost what I desire. I’m sure I have somethingto do with all of this. Plus, another trip coming up and while I’m cool with going as the fabulous third wheel, would be nice…(stares in singlehood). Listens. 1. Take him or leave him, you’re going to have a wonderful time.
2. You don’t have to accept who shows up, remember? And if you choose “almost” you’ll “almost” be satisfied. Plus, I’ve given you several signs that this is not the time for a relationship. Remember? Either relax and enjoy the company or enjoy your own company. Breathe deep.
3. Yes. You have something to do with most of this but, not all of this. You have nothing to do with the events you have no control over like Afghanistan and the passing of your godmother. Your part, to pray, was and is done perfectly.
4. You can organize. You have lacked discipline. It’s true. You have procrastinated. It’s true. Why? You have been ill. You have not wanted the responsibility of some things. You haven’t enjoyed a particular environment. You haven’t done the ONE major life thing because of fear and THIS is what is clouding your mind. If you want clarity to come easily, DO THAT FEARFUL THING.
5. Make no commitment to any man right now. I repeat, it is not time for a relationship. It is time for your soul’s purpose.
6. Take one step. I’ll take two. Move towards destiny and I’ll create waves of manifestations. We are a team.
I shall be with you always. Even until the ends of the earth.
PS: Stop saying yes out of obligation to things that I’ve disconnected you from. Stop inserting your help where you have not been lead to help. You cannot help everyone or every cause. You can’t sign up for every thing and then say you don’t have time for your own soul purpose, dreams, goals, duties. That’s fear. Explore that fear of success. You can’t want and not want success. Love, Spirit. 💋
This weekend I took a tour of a local distillery with a friend. We started it off with a cocktail, the Bourbon Cider Punch. The whiskey, bourbon, and vodka are made in house. It’s a 45 minute tour that explains the history of the Old Dominick and the founder Domenico Canale whom has ties to Memphis. It was interesting to find out how the alcohol is made and the many different processes it goes through before aging. Each type of liquor has a slightly different process than the other. I was impressed with the technology involved.
At the end of the tour there is a tasting! The gift shop is really nice. I could have easily over spend in there! I really needed to get out of the house Sunday after hearing about the loss of my godmother Saturday. I am glad I decided to say yes to a friend that called and took me to dinner, then to the distillery, and ended the evening with cheesecake from the best cheesecake place in the country, The Cheesecake Corner. You can find it here in Memphis, TN and it’s a must place to visit if when you come to Memphis. Also, dinner was at Gus Fried Chicken. Another local favorite for spicy chicken. We ate like we were at home. Finger lickin’ and some smackin’ lol.
Not part of the tour, my weekend also consisted of hanging out with my mom and sister. We had lunch at The Olive Garden on Friday.
I have been a really bad flare up with fibromyalgia since Tuesday. I am talking about bringing tears to my eyes and last night was rough. Today is a little better but, not much. I am just trying to get through things the best way I can and that’s with prayer and meditation. Oh, and therapy.
It’s inevitable you will reach some point, some situation, some loss of a loved one where you will think or say, “I wish I would have done more.” Maybe, “I wish I would have done differently.” These thoughts are natural as we are beings with the gift to look forward and backwards. We look back for many reasons. Looking back can be helpful as well as a hindrance.
If we look back to measure how far we have come, that could be good if we rejoice about it. If we look back to see what we can learn from a situation, that is helpful for our present and future. However, it is when we look back and realize that we can’t fix the past and become filled with regret. “We wish we would have done more or differently.” How do you not let that consume you? How do you live with the guilt? I can tell you that you must find a way or it will eat you alive. It will gnaw at your conscious. Here is what I know and I hope it can help you.
Forgive yourself and know that you are forgiven by a Higher Power.
If the person has passed away and you wish you would have done more, made amends, or did differently by them, just know that they forgive you. Amends have been made. There is no “space” in the hereafter to hold grudges and unforgiveness. There is only peace. There is only joy. There is only bliss.
Do differently NOW with the time and the people you have left.
If the person is here now, go to them and ask for forgiveness and CHANGE your ways. The best apology is changed behavior.
If the person will not forgive you, that is on them. You have did your part. Forgive yourself. Continue with changed behavior. And remember, you are forgiven.
My oldest brother passed in February of this year and I can say with ease and peace, there is nothing I wish I would have done more about. We had a great relationship as sister and brother. My godmother transitioned yesterday and I wish I would have given her more. I wish I would given her more on her birthdays and mother’s day. I intended to have her and my god sister over at my new home for dinner soon. I won’t get that chance. I wish I would have made that pineapple upside down cake she suggested I make as I have began baking. What can I do about these things, now? I can’t do much about these things now. I can be grateful for the life she lived and the impact it had on me. I can invite my god sis over. I can give more to my god children. I can bake and perfect the pineapple upside down cake. I can cherish all of the invaluable lessons, that are precious gifts, she gave me. For a woman that went through so much, she not only displayed resilience, she had a joy about life that shined like the sun on a clear blue sky fall day.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with obtaining all of the material things you want in life. The thing is, unless you are truly happy or at peace on the inside, in the mind or heart, or in other areas of your life, none of those things will amount to that which you truly seek. So go ahead and build the biggest house. Line your driveways with cars. Take as many trips as you would like. Buy all of the clothes and shoes that can fit into your closets. When they high subsides, the misery will rise to the surface and spew over again.
You can lie to strangers and tell them, “All is well.” It is true you can fool some of the people some of the time but, you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Some of us can see straight through the malarkey. In many ways this is a sad situation because one spends the bulk of their energy (time and money) trying to prove to themselves and the rest of the world they are “happy” while they could spend the their energy getting well. And by getting well I mean taking the courage to address the real issues in their lives.
As I type this Sunday Morning Coffee Musing, a scripture from the Bible pops into my head, “What profits a person to gain the world but, loses their soul?” I know we are accustom to taking this scripture literally and as if the person is going to Hell. However, what does it mean on another level to “lose the soul?” The essence of the person is lost and what is left is an empty shell. Some walk around putting on all day long and in public spaces. Yet, when they are in the privacy of their own homes or in the company of close family, the venom of bitterness and misery is applied. It’s in snarky comments and funky moods. Empty shell behavior.
I looked to my cousin and said, “You know, a person can everything and nothing at the same damn time.”-N. Jackson
So, I’ve been dating almost immediately after my last relationship (yes, so soon) but, lately I have NOT been feeling “it”. Heavy sigh. The thrill is gone. No one interests me and the interest I did have in one particular person seems to be fading fast. I think it may be more “me” than him. He is who he is and I am who I am. And I am who I am becoming. I don’t think you should ask a person to change their personality to fit your world. Habits? Maybe. Pet peeves? Maybe. But personality? No. So, what’s going on with me? What happened to the thrill of dating? Why am I easing to a stop? Or being urged to pause temporarily?
What was dropped in my spirit last week, “Nikki, temporarily let go of the very thing you desire to get the very thing you desire.” Are you thinking what I am thinking? Probably not. I was thinking, “WOW. I get it.” I am too wrapped up in it. I’m thinking about it too much. I’m trying too hard to manifest it. I am trying to feel something that isn’t there. I’m trying to wait and see when there is nothing to wait or see. I’m avoiding the inevitable. I need to call a time out. “Coach, I need to sit this one out.”
Also, I have THINGS to do. I have pressing things to do. However, it seems as if what I am being asked to do, per Spirit, is not to STOP but to PAUSE. I need to get started on my life’s work. I need to finish the third book. Hopefully, I will have some vendor opportunities this fall/winter for my crochet items. These are more pressing issues than dating at this time. I do believe I was given that message because it will significantly give me the balance I need between my life work and my personal life.