We’d like to think we are like the watch that takes a lick and keeps on ticking but, in reality that is not the case. Some times we can only take so many lickings before we need rest or restoration or something repaired and replaced. This morning I was suppose to have a breakfast date. It didn’t happen. I was not surprised. I was not surprised because I just had “that feeling.”
As I started to make breakfast at home, I thought about the live session Iyanla Vanzant had yesterday via Facebook. The part that came up was “Say Yes.” Of course saying yes to things going your way or well makes sense but, saying yes to things not going your way or things that do not make sense isn’t easy. And well, it doesn’t make sense either. I am familiar with this line of thinking. So, getting the toaster off the shelf, I said, “I don’t like being stood up or ghosted for breakfast this morning, but yes to it. Yes. I can remove him from the list of possibilities. I saw he had removed himself from my friend’s list. Welp. But…not. 😀 One thing about life, it goes on.
I took a lick. I stopped ticking but, shook myself and poof…ticking again. In life, in love, in dating, we take licks of various sizes, distances in drops, even spills and we continue to tick. Fascinating. Aren’t we.
I don’t know what you were thinking because well, I am not you. My first thoughts were: “Could not have been black people. They would have never made it to The Capitol. Dogs would have been unleashed. Children would have been trampled. They would have gunned us down in the name of “patriotism” and would have done so unapologetically.”
Then I was stunned for a few minutes. It changed as I remembered these are white people and only in America are they still standing. I could not believe my eyes. Only in America, are they underprepared for their own. Only in America will they cover up, uncover, cover up and uncover the facts about having the military on the steps for BLM protests but, NO ONE on the steps for this bunch. There were no reported threats but, the FBI comes back as says, “Oh, yes, there were.”
When I saw them beating the cops, I thought: “Blue Lives don’t matter to them today.” I felt the same sadness I feel for black men, children, and women who were murdered or beaten by cops. Do you know why? Because WRONG IS WRONG. But, to see them use the same hatred many white Americans use with minorities on each other was really something to witness. I mean as much as they harp on the delusional narrative of black on black crime, here they are for the entire world to see. THUGS. No, TERRORISTS. HOME GROWN AND HOME FED. The intent to Hang a VP, kill and torture politicians that were mostly white by whites was mind blowing. Civil War.
As a human being first and an American, I was disgusted. But as an African American, watching those people walk away. Go back to their hotels. Get on flights and go home. I felt like, “Oh, yeah. They are WHITE AMERICANS.” I almost forgot that’s how they were able to do this in the first place. If that is not privilege I don’t know what the hell is.
Time management. I know you have heard it as a student, employee, or employer. It’s your time and you decide what you want to do with it.
Do you want to achieve your dreams and goals? Use your time wisely.
Do you want to get more out of your day? Organize and Prioritize your day and the week on Sundays.
Say no to distractions and get back on track. Make it a habit of putting yourself on track each time you get off and remember if you derail the day, tomorrow is a NEW DAY! DO OVER!
If they ask you to do it today and you don’t have time, TELL THEM THE TRUTH. People expect you to drop what you are doing and put them at the top or add them to you’re already loaded day. It can wait along with their attitude if they get one! Also, explaining to them it will be best to ask and make arrangements with you ahead of time. Constant last minute requests wreck havoc on your day and mind. Tell them so.
Don’t overload yourself. You can’t do it all in one day. You can’t do a week or a month’s worth of activities in a day. BREAK IT DOWN and it will get done. It will get done properly and in order.
You can write your goals, map out your plans, and dream about traveling the world. But unless you put some ACTION to your goals, it’s not going to happen. Create an action plan to each of your goals. How will you travel the world? How will you be healthier? How will you create a podcast? How will you be more active on your blog? It’s in the how!
I exercise better in the mornings but, I would rather watch CBS Morning News. It’s a 2 hour show and I am usually doing other work while it’s on. I also have my breakfast. It comes down to what am I committed to? I have three options: I can exercise before it comes on which will require me to get up earlier. I can take the first 30 minutes of the show to exercise since, there will be a recap anyways and I won’t miss much. I can exercise afterwards which means I would have to change my routine. I have options that require actions and commitment.
I have discovered that I need to “do” something thing different in order to achieve my goals. I have to make some CHANGES to my thinking and my routine. I have become comfortable in my routine. It has to change. Change is also an avenue to making achieving goals. Changing plans, changing actions, changing your mind about the direction your going in, changing your routine. What’s going to help you change what is not working or what may serve you better is the ability to ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE. I have to adjust to the new routine for exercise and understand that this is better for me. I have to adjust my thinking that CBS Morning news is not more important than my opportunity to exercise.
Oh, and being a person with a illness, I have to remain flexible in my schedule. Some nights I may not get much sleep and that affects my plans. Some days, I may be in too much pain to exercise. Some days I may not be there mentally due to brain fog, anxiety, or depression or all three (quite the roller coaster). Some may have a family or work obligations that come up. So we all must have that FLEX in our plans and ADJUST. I like that: FLEX and ADJUST.
I admit I have had my 2020 bashing fits. Who hasn’t? And in the last post I was inspired to talk about what one has birthed in 2020 to focus on and not so much as what one has buried. Challenging I am sure.
In this post I want to highlight my growth and share my favorite moments of 2020. I choose to remember the life and light of two dear people lives that have transformed from their physical bodies to their spiritual bodies. They changed clothes in a sense from the seen to the unseen. One is engraved in my memory as a childhood brother and the first best friend of my brother. The other is engraved in my mind as the one my brother trusted and bonded with as second best friend, a brother, in the beginning of his law enforcement career. A soul that was his ace and knowing my brother had a good friend he could trust and count on made me happy. I remember life, love, and brotherhood.
I grew spiritually. Every morning for about 40 weeks of this year my daughter and I have had breakfast each morning listening to Iyanla Vanzant’s Viral Messages Live on YouTube or Facebook Live. It blessed, uprooted, confirmed, and expanded my soul. I am forever changed into more of who I truly am on this spiritual journey. It also deepened the bond between mother and daughter as we shared breakfast, thoughts, and notes. I watched my daughter have her AH HA moments. I also took a leap of faith and had my first one day conference for women. It took courage because i deviated from the tradition of Christianity, Church, and Denomination and went with the flow in which I was created to go. It was so freeing and terrifying at the same time!
I am growing as a parent. My parenting style is changing and evolving. It has been a challenge and a rocky journey. I often have to deal with my own insecurities that produce anxiety and depression. I battle fiercely to not only keep my head above water but, to be on the boat and navigating the ship (my mind).
I grew as a micro business owner. I attempted to take free online classes. Due to my illness, I now have difficulty learning. What I did retain by writing down, I used when I created a website and marketed my business. I hope to have more funding to promote it and to expand it. I hope to make it a LLC. I took a risk with a virtual vending opportunity. I learned that I do better vending in person but, I did gain some exposure. I also broke slightly over even. I am grateful for that.
I grew mentally (matured) in my way of thinking and dealing with losses or disconnections. Four times this year I thought I had a suitable mate. However, each one disconnected for various reasons and the last one is the one that really got to me. I see it as the Universe, God, telling me that this was NOT the year to make those kinds of connections. It was not the time. The greatest lesson from the last one was to learn to let love go for a greater love. Let what is leaving, leave. Let what has been planted grow and manifest.
I grew healthier by learning how to control by diabetes better. After taking a 3 day diabetes class it changed my entire perspective on managing it. I learned that I can eat just about anything but, it all comes down to carbs and portion control. My A1C went from 13. 8? to 6.2. I still have work to do. However, it was a victory to me!
I sure hope our ride for 2021 is an actual ride versus the train wreck this one has been. However, it has brought to us the BIGGEST lessons and HOPE the majority of us SEE them. I hope we EMBRACE the lessons and APPLY them to our lives from here on out.
Have you had a difficult time getting in the “holiday” mood? I know I have. It seems as if I put up some decorations, picked up a few gifts, and mailed out cards to help others but, at times it seems as if I cam just going through the motions. I have received cards and that has brightened my season. I have received a poinsettia and every time I see it, it gives me a bit of Christmas nostalgia. Yet, something seems to be missing.
I know this has been a rough year and MANY of our loved ones are no longer here due to COVID. Some are feeling the loss of jobs, status, socializations, etc. and the culmination of only God knows what. I don’t have much to offer us except prayers and one wish that you will count your blessings.
Counting your blessings or naming the things in which you are grateful for can always bring GRATITUDE. I may not have much joy or cheer but, I do have gratitude. I do have hope for better and more normal tomorrows ahead.
It seems as though this week, this year has been filled with setbacks. Individual setbacks and when you look at it, setbacks across the nations. It seems as if we take a step forward and two steps back. It’s a push against some invisible force. It’s what I talked to you about in the beginning of the year. It’s the tearing down and building up. What’s it going to take to clear the debris of this year, or the last four years for some, is perseverance.
persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.
I know you must rest. You must rest and get adequate rest in order to clear the debris. This is hardcore labor. This is blood, sweat, and tears, It’s ugly and you can’t be cute or handsome with this. You are going to need some perseverance. You need determination. Make up your mind and set your face like flint. This means: Whatever comes your way, don’t change your mind about the outcome. Don’t change your mind about the business. Don’t change your mind about education. Don’t change your mind about your goals and dreams. Set your face like flint. Get it done in the face of the harsh winds that may blow.
I was worried about my big birthday plans. I was worried about not being able to travel. I was worried about my business and not making money. I was worried about not being able to gather with friends. I HAD PLANS! BUT…
Thank God, I knew how to adapt. I knew how to adjust. I knew how to accept. IT WAS HARD. BUT I DID IT. YOU DID IT. AND NOW IT’S TIME TO REMOVE THE DEBRIS. I also learned what and who was really important in my “plans”.
I found out who I was this year. I found out who others weren’t. I found out what I was made of and I found out what I wasn’t. And now it’s time to clear out the debris. It’s time to wash away the losses and look at what has been born. What did you birth? What came out of this? What can you do with what’s left and what can be toss? What can you clear out?
Make way for the new. Take off the sackcloth and get on with your “it” in a NEW and PROFOUND way.
Sometimes I go to bed feeling defeated. Sometimes I rise with power and sometimes I rise with a press in my spirit. I do not know why some of our lives have more obstacles than others. It’s not because we are special as we have been told (I don’t believe that). It’s not ALL because of the choices we make. But it’s always about the response. I believe it’s simply because this is our lot. This is our path. This is our journey and everyone’s journey is different. That’s it. I got this today with the weight of the world on my shoulders and tears in my eyes. I got this.
As I scrolled my social media, it seemed that this week everyone was having some type of turmoil or upheaving in their lives. I wasn’t spared this week either. I know and I understand the signs in the sky. But, that doesn’t make what you and I are going through any less tumultuous. It does, however, give you wisdom, power, and insight. Knowing is half the battle and the other half is application of the knowledge.
The effects of nature on the human body, mental and emotional are REAL. Why do you think a brisk walk or a stroll helps the mind while benefiting the body? Why do some feel better as the sun rise or some feel worse as the night comes? It’s all connected in melatonin and water and more. I believe. God didn’t, in my humble opinion, create nature for our viewing pleasure only. The moon, the sky, the sun, the stars, the planets, etc. aren’t just there for the sustainability of mankind only. There is a reason to the movement.
I hope you’re not out there howling during full moons (lol) or turning into werewolves. I do hope you take the time to understand the “signs of the times” that are not related to the end of the world or religious propaganda. What about the signs of the times in your life? What the FULL MOON and WANING GIBBOUS is going on here?
Now is the time to empty yourself of all of the negative energy, trauma, and drama. Why? Because Winter really is coming. The Winter Solstice, or the First Day of Winter is December 21. In order for us to have winter, the Earth and the Sun must shift and we should follow suit. These are the signs in the sky the Bible and other books speak about. Often times in Christianity we ignore these things although, the Bible speaks of and suggests we pay attention and seek the deeper things of God.
It will be a time, on that day, we will experience the longest period of darkness and the shortest period of light. Now is the time to understand and to sit with your own darkness. None of us are all light. We have parts of us that need work, that we hide from others (or think we do) and ways that manifest itself in public. I’m talking about our ugly and our weaknesses. These things are like our shadows that follow us around even in the light and seem to disappear into the dark. They disappear as we ignore them or we push them down into the subconscious. We pretend we don’t see them or it’s not there or make excuses.
It is time to sit with your darkness because when the light comes, the season changes, and it will be time to move forward WITHOUT all of the baggage from the dark. It will be time to do a new thing and to have a CLEAN SLATE all the way around, in every area. So what good will it do for you if you drag your baggage of darkness with you onto a clean slate? It will do you NO GOOD! It’s time to do some shadow work.
The ENERGY if winter is about going within. Are you ready to go within and to do the work? Are you ready to face your darkness, understand it, so that you can walk in the fullness and greatness of who you are? Understand your sadness, anger, meanness, uncomfortable feelings about yourself and others. Face the residual emotions of the divorce, failed relationships. Explore your connection between your behaviors, reactions, in connection with your childhood. Go within. Don’t worry about what THEY are doing or what THEY did. This is your path through darkness into the light that awaits us. Call it enlightenment or a spiritual awakening but, neither one can happen with darkness. Welcome the dark (the unknown, the knowing it’s not right, the negative feelings, emotions, and behaviors. The ignorance (not knowing). Bring it on fear! Get ready to work! It’s the way to light.
I’ll share with you one of my shadows I want to address. It is the one that gravitates towards the emotionally unavailable (sometimes emotionally unstable) relationships. I have been shrinking this shadow for years. But now I want to get rid of it for good! It’s not as dominant as it use to be. It use to hold on to the pain and suffering those relationships offered. It mimicked the pain in suffering of childhood. While I now seem to be able to avoid and detect these traits, I am still appalled at the fact that I still attract these people. So the work is what is it in me that is leftover. What are residual thoughts and emotions I need to address and heal?
SO there. I let you in on one of my shadows. It took courage. It took vulnerability. You can’t have success without either one.