A modern-day Renaissance Woman. A Creative and Spiritual Being. Author of Fiction and Non-fiction. Writer. Fashion. Art. Music. Food. History. Travel. A bit of a philosopher I am told. Dreamer. Entrepreneur.
I still practice this “ritual” but with less restriction. I think from that whole practice of 18 days and 15 minutes, God was basically saying to me what my Spanish teacher use to yell or raise her voice in class when she wanted our undivided attention, “Escuchame! Escuchame!” It means, LISTEN TO ME!
LESSON #3; MAKE AND TAKE THE TIME SO THAT YOU CAN LISTEN TO GOD, SPIRIT, THE CREATOR, DIVINE. Take the time to deepen your connection to strengthen your LISTENING SKILLS. If you make it a priority, if you stay consistent, you will be able to hear before and during a situation instead of always being behind the 8 ball. (Hearing God after the fact).
These are my top 12 lessons from my personal growth journey this year. I share in hopes to help someone or to give a different perspective to the human experience.
Sometimes, okay, many times, I feel as though no one sees me or hears me. I give friends and family the instructions and advice they need and they in turn get the same advice from others. It makes me feel as though I am not being heard or trusted. It makes me feel I am not valued because the person they get their information from may have more credentials, followers, or celebrity status.
God revealed to me that what I really was seeking is validation. We all want to be validated in some shape form or fashion or at some time in our lives. When they wouldn’t listen to me, I would feel like maybe they think I am a novice. When I post my beliefs, thoughts, revelations, wisdom, I would think maybe some of these other spiritually well-known people think I am a novice. Maybe because they never heard of me, they think I am a novice.
Here is what I NOW have come to understand, I am NOT a novice when it comes to God, the deeper things of God I have discovered or that have been revealed. I in fact DO know what I am talking about. I ABSOLUTELY have a deep connection to the Creator. I DO know what I am speaking of when God or Spirit, revelation, dreams, numbers, energy, speak to me. I DO know what I have learned from life, lessons, and experience. I am NOT a NOVICE. I DO NOT need to be validated by anyone except the one who created me, shaped me, fashioned and formed me in the womb.
LESSON #2; WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE, MOVE FORWARD HENCEFORTH WITH CONFIDENCE. I haven’t been sitting on a pew for 47 years. I’ve been connected, disconnected, reconnected, and strengthening the connection between myself and SOURCE. I have been studying, researching, reading, to show myself approved. I have been at many low points, valleys, and risen to the top of the hill with lessons. I have been in the fire, gone through the fire, and came out with fire.
IT’S OKAY TO KNOW YOUR STUFF AND TO BE CONFIDENT IN WHAT YOU DO. It’s funny because I am confident in my skills to make an excellent lasagna. I am confident in my crocheting. I waver in my art because someone once said it was not professional enough. Yet, I have sold my artwork. It’s the penetration of the words of others that I have allowed into my psyche that I must remove. I am a hell of an abstract artist. I am an amazing writer and author. I am a UNIQUE vessel of the HIGHEST and I walk in that DIVINE calling with confidence.
These are my top 12 lessons from my personal growth journey this year. I share in hopes to help someone or to give a different perspective to the human experience.
We always hear, “Work on yourself. Do the work. It’s an inside job. You’re only attracting what you are.” First let me say that the last one really gets under my skin. I am not a liar or cheater. I don’t play games. I’m not many of things I get in the people I attract. So, “I don’t believe we always attract what we are. Even moths and other insects are attracted to light.”-Nicole Jackson. There’s room for expounding the last statement “we attract what we are”.
Secondly, I learned that I was not the problem in a “relationship” and there was nothing holding me back from a healthy relationship. But it was the other party’s own lack of healing, growth, confusion, and lack of honesty within themselves and to me that was holding them back from having a healthy relationship with me. What a relief that was. When I stopped jumping through hoops, I felt free. As a creative that is an empath and subject to take this deeply personal, there was something within that said, “Hey. Don’t take it personal. This person has a right to not commit for whatever reasons and they also aren’t ready to be with anyone. So, don’t take it personally.” I didn’t miss a beat. I kept right on with my projects and my life and it happened 3 days before Valentine’s Day!
My friends gathered around to coddle me but were surprised when I told them I was happy. I was relieved. I was glad this on and off again saga finally has come to an end. I was free. I was detached. No strings. I burned them. The individual and I remain associates. I had to remove our friendship dynamic as it was the bridge that kept us going back and forth. We are cordial and that is it.
TOP LESSON NUMBER ONE I LEARNED; I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. So many times, we try to figure out what is wrong with us and what we can do to make things work. It can’t work if the other piece is broken and doesn’t want to be fixed or can’t see they need some work.
I don’t know about you but, it’s been a “doozie” of a year for me. I titled this A December to Remember because it’s a time, a month we should use to reflect on the year and to prepare for next year. You can’t get ready for next year, next year. Well, you can. No pressure. But I suggest taking a week or two to look at your goals and see where you stand. It doesn’t matter what you didn’t do because it can be tabled, removed, or moved to next year. It can be revised and revamped.
Celebrate what you accomplished. Show gratitude.
However, take a bird’s eye view of your life. Where are you? Where do you want to go? Are you on track or off track? How will you get there? You must write the vision and make things plain.
Also, don’t forget your spiritual journey. It’s of utmost importance. How did that go this year? What did you learn? Did you grow?
This month I will probably be blogging more than usual as I share my top 12 lessons and a combination of observations of my year. It certainly was my year of endings as I knew that in the beginning of the year but, I was quite sure how that would unfold. Let alone, how to prepare for it.
How do you feel about your year? Was it what you expected?
Respect your body when it’s asking for a break. Respect your mind when it’s seeking rest. Honor yourself when you need a moment for yourself. -unknown
GM! The morning after a day of bone crushing pain can be odd. Thanks to prayer and prednisone you physically feel better but, mentally and emotionally, you’re not quite together. I feel deep compassion and empathy for those that suffer from chronic pain or chronic illnesses. Sometimes all I can do is wonder why it must be this way. I enjoyed those years I was in remission from rheumatoid arthritis disease and the days I’d never heard of fibromyalgia. On the bright side for me, at least it wasn’t ill when my daughter was an infant. Also, if I would have known the future, I would have followed ALL of my dreams full speed ahead.
But we don’t have the luxury of knowing the future and I am sure that would not always be a good thing. We’d live in fear and sorrow or dread. With that being said, it’s like how depression and anxiety works. I get so tired of hurting it makes me depressed about the future at times. I get so worried about how the future will turn out at times; I get anxious about it. When the pain is severe as it was yesterday, the only thing I yearn for is to just have a normal life. I know what normal was like before Rheumatoid Disease and Fibromyalgia. I could be tired without pain.
Covid. Fortunately, I have a mild case and by now I am past the initial phase of fever. My most dominant symptoms were extreme fatigue and sleepiness. I could hardly sit up or stay awake. My fever broke quickly as I only had it one day. I did have sharp head pain off and on. But overall, I have been blessed not to have it as so many others have had it. I also pray there are no long-term effects because I have enough long-term health issues for this lifetime.
The body is strange or maybe I should say, amazing? During this time with Covid I haven’t had much joint pain or muscle pain until yesterday. This is an indication for me that Covid is leaving the body. You see, rheumatoid disease and fibromyalgia are conditions in which the immune system attacks itself. This is why they are considered autoimmune diseases. Well, my body still has the “sense” to fight other foreign things when it enters the body such as Covid. For a time, it stopped fighting itself and has been fighting Covid.
This morning has been a slow morning. I feel weak and as if I am dragging along. I don’t think it’s Covid. I think it’s just me as this happens some mornings. It’s very cold here in Memphis today. I can’t tell if it’s physical, chemical, or mental or all of the above. There’s a hint of moodiness and melancholy. Usually, on the bright side, things tend to get better as the morning moves on. I will help myself by doing some yoga and controlling what I can. I may drink an energy drink as well!
When I was a young adult, in my 20’s, I am sure I thought I knew everything or at least enough to make my own decisions. My dad is not one to get in your business. He’s not one to insert himself into his children’s affairs often. But when he does, we listen. We may not follow the advice or heed the warnings because well, we were in our 20’s.
At times we would go back and forth about a thing and my dad would say, “Okay. I’m praying for you.” It took me until now, at age 47, to realize that at a certain point in conversation with a child that thinks they know what they are doing or refuses to heed your warning, you have said all you can say. There was never a shouting match with my dad. When he saw he wasn’t getting through or he had said all he needed to say, “Okay. I am praying for you” would end the conversation. After you’ve said all you can say, beaten a dead horse maybe, there is nothing else to say. All you can do is pray for the child.
I was having a conversation with my young adult and I felt like I was trying to drive in a point to no avail. I found myself repeating the same thing and getting frustrated. Then suddenly, I realized I had said enough and she wasn’t going to change her mind even if she was listening. I stopped and said, “Okay. I am praying for you.” At that moment I realized, I am now my dad and she is me.
This is the time of the year many of us are wrapping up our goals. The holidays are upon us. There is also the putting away of summer clothing, summer items and putting the fall and winter things where they belong. It’s the organization and preparation of your home for winter. There are events, celebrations, festivals, and family gatherings. Finances and traveling factor in as well. What can we do to make sure we don’t become overwhelmed and “wig out”?
Keep your routine of exercise and eating as healthy as possible. Don’t neglect your self-care routine either. Get a massage to help you with all of the stress or do an Epsom salt soak in the tub.
Keep to your routine of prayer, meditation, daily devotions and religious services.
Make a budget and STICK TO IT.
Remember, YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING OR EVERY ACTIVITY. You can’t make it to EVERYONE’S EVENT.
With that being said, decide what you are going to and where you are going to in advance. Also, leave room for adventure. Be flexible to change. We should know by now things don’t always go according to plan and we must be able to adapt. Oh, and adjust our attitudes in the process! Your FUNKY little attitude can affect the group and ruin everything.
Take off your cape and learn to say NO. Take off your control freak cape and delegate things to others. They can handle it and it doesn’t have to be exactly how you want it done.
Take a breather and some time alone. Go for a nature walk or a walk in the neighborhood. Listen to music. Read a book. Stargaze.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too. -Mayoclinic.com
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events or communities. Many may have websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events. They can offer support and companionship. If you’re feeling stress during the holidays, it also may help to talk to a friend or family member about your concerns. Try reaching out with a text, a call or a video chat. Volunteering your time or doing something to help others is also a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. For example, consider dropping off a meal and dessert at a friend’s home during the holidays. -Mayoclinic.com
Losing My Religion is a song by this rock/alternative group, R.E.M and the title of this song is the best way to describe how I felt last Sunday. I was annoyed, irritated about the circumstances at my home church and it felt like a pile up of emotions crashing down and around me. I felt a sinking feeling. I felt literally nauseous in my spirit. Sickening. All of this gave me a panicking feeling as I headed home from service.
I had never felt this intensity of what I felt. I felt like giving up on God. (I know the super-saints or super religious could never relate). I felt like giving up on my religion. I searched for something that explained how I was feeling. It wasn’t until the next day, and I was still feeling unsettled, that I heard a message from one of my favorite pastors that somewhat made sense of what I was feeling. Somewhat.
It wouldn’t be until yesterday morning it came to me. “Let nothing separate you from the love of God.” Don’t let the actions, a person, a situation separate you from the love of God. Don’t get so caught up in things you can’t control, people you can’t control, you become so agitated, frustrated, and angry that you give up on God. This made me see that I had become so engrossed with the “wrongness”, with the grotesque situation, I was becoming ill. I was also losing site of WHO was in control of the situation and that person IS NOT ME. I cannot control people. However, I can let my voice be heard. And there will be a time for that.
You’ll be happy to know that I am okay now and I decided to “Keep My Religion” (HA! THE REMIX). It’s my choice. It’s my freedom. I respect others choices and freedoms because it’s only right to do so.
People face all kinds of unpleasant situations in life. Some of these challenges have a much broader or far-reaching impact than others.
It’s not for anyone else to say how upset someone should (or shouldn’t) feel about any given type of distress.
Comparing a loved one’s difficulties with problems faced by other people often happens inadvertently, as an attempt at consolation.
You might intend to cheer them up by saying things like, “It could be a lot worse,” or “At least you still have a job.” This denies them their experience and often implies they shouldn’t feel bad in the first place.
No matter how trivial you think someone’s concern is, avoid brushing it off.
Sure, maybe the lecture your best friend received from her boss wouldn’t have bothered you. But you can’t fully understand her experience or emotional response, so it’s not fair to minimize her feelings.
My thoughts: When I was younger and I was having these mood swings or thoughts, my parents told me to “pray about it”. I really didn’t understand the whole concept of God and prayer. As time went on, not only did I not pray about it, I did nothing about it for a very long time and it was just accepted behavior or “something is wrong with that one”.
Since I have become older and I finally started to not only get the help I need but, also to understand what it was I was dealing with, my parents seem to have grown as well. They have somewhat of a better understanding and acceptance that praying is necessary but, so is self-help (meditation, reading, exercising, etc.) and therapy.
I figured out who I could talk to and who I could not by the responses of those in my circle. If I was minimized, if anxiety and depression was minimized, if they stared at me as if I had a unicorn horn in the middle of my forehead, or the pompous, “Sorry, I don’t have anxiety. So, I don’t know what to tell you”, I never opened my mouth to those people again. When they ask me what’s wrong, I say, “Nothing.”