A modern day Renaissance Woman. A Creative and Spiritual Being. Author of Fiction and Non-fiction. Writer. Fashion. Art. Music. Food. History. Travel. A bit of a philosopher I am told. Dreamer. Entrepreneur.
We’d like to think we are like the watch that takes a lick and keeps on ticking but, in reality that is not the case. Some times we can only take so many lickings before we need rest or restoration or something repaired and replaced. This morning I was suppose to have a breakfast date. It didn’t happen. I was not surprised. I was not surprised because I just had “that feeling.”
As I started to make breakfast at home, I thought about the live session Iyanla Vanzant had yesterday via Facebook. The part that came up was “Say Yes.” Of course saying yes to things going your way or well makes sense but, saying yes to things not going your way or things that do not make sense isn’t easy. And well, it doesn’t make sense either. I am familiar with this line of thinking. So, getting the toaster off the shelf, I said, “I don’t like being stood up or ghosted for breakfast this morning, but yes to it. Yes. I can remove him from the list of possibilities. I saw he had removed himself from my friend’s list. Welp. But…not. 😀 One thing about life, it goes on.
I took a lick. I stopped ticking but, shook myself and poof…ticking again. In life, in love, in dating, we take licks of various sizes, distances in drops, even spills and we continue to tick. Fascinating. Aren’t we.
I don’t know what you were thinking because well, I am not you. My first thoughts were: “Could not have been black people. They would have never made it to The Capitol. Dogs would have been unleashed. Children would have been trampled. They would have gunned us down in the name of “patriotism” and would have done so unapologetically.”
Then I was stunned for a few minutes. It changed as I remembered these are white people and only in America are they still standing. I could not believe my eyes. Only in America, are they underprepared for their own. Only in America will they cover up, uncover, cover up and uncover the facts about having the military on the steps for BLM protests but, NO ONE on the steps for this bunch. There were no reported threats but, the FBI comes back as says, “Oh, yes, there were.”
When I saw them beating the cops, I thought: “Blue Lives don’t matter to them today.” I felt the same sadness I feel for black men, children, and women who were murdered or beaten by cops. Do you know why? Because WRONG IS WRONG. But, to see them use the same hatred many white Americans use with minorities on each other was really something to witness. I mean as much as they harp on the delusional narrative of black on black crime, here they are for the entire world to see. THUGS. No, TERRORISTS. HOME GROWN AND HOME FED. The intent to Hang a VP, kill and torture politicians that were mostly white by whites was mind blowing. Civil War.
As a human being first and an American, I was disgusted. But as an African American, watching those people walk away. Go back to their hotels. Get on flights and go home. I felt like, “Oh, yeah. They are WHITE AMERICANS.” I almost forgot that’s how they were able to do this in the first place. If that is not privilege I don’t know what the hell is.
Time management. I know you have heard it as a student, employee, or employer. It’s your time and you decide what you want to do with it.
Do you want to achieve your dreams and goals? Use your time wisely.
Do you want to get more out of your day? Organize and Prioritize your day and the week on Sundays.
Say no to distractions and get back on track. Make it a habit of putting yourself on track each time you get off and remember if you derail the day, tomorrow is a NEW DAY! DO OVER!
If they ask you to do it today and you don’t have time, TELL THEM THE TRUTH. People expect you to drop what you are doing and put them at the top or add them to you’re already loaded day. It can wait along with their attitude if they get one! Also, explaining to them it will be best to ask and make arrangements with you ahead of time. Constant last minute requests wreck havoc on your day and mind. Tell them so.
Don’t overload yourself. You can’t do it all in one day. You can’t do a week or a month’s worth of activities in a day. BREAK IT DOWN and it will get done. It will get done properly and in order.
I have decided to start something I hope I can keep up and that is Art on Mondays. I will post a photo of my art and a link explaining the what it means to me. I will talk about the creation of the art, what I was thinking, feeling, or listening to keeping it under 5 minutes! I won’t post every Monday but, I hope to post at least twice a month.
Here is the link to this piece of work. Just click and the link will pop up! Enjoy!
You can write your goals, map out your plans, and dream about traveling the world. But unless you put some ACTION to your goals, it’s not going to happen. Create an action plan to each of your goals. How will you travel the world? How will you be healthier? How will you create a podcast? How will you be more active on your blog? It’s in the how!
I exercise better in the mornings but, I would rather watch CBS Morning News. It’s a 2 hour show and I am usually doing other work while it’s on. I also have my breakfast. It comes down to what am I committed to? I have three options: I can exercise before it comes on which will require me to get up earlier. I can take the first 30 minutes of the show to exercise since, there will be a recap anyways and I won’t miss much. I can exercise afterwards which means I would have to change my routine. I have options that require actions and commitment.
I have discovered that I need to “do” something thing different in order to achieve my goals. I have to make some CHANGES to my thinking and my routine. I have become comfortable in my routine. It has to change. Change is also an avenue to making achieving goals. Changing plans, changing actions, changing your mind about the direction your going in, changing your routine. What’s going to help you change what is not working or what may serve you better is the ability to ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE. I have to adjust to the new routine for exercise and understand that this is better for me. I have to adjust my thinking that CBS Morning news is not more important than my opportunity to exercise.
Oh, and being a person with a illness, I have to remain flexible in my schedule. Some nights I may not get much sleep and that affects my plans. Some days, I may be in too much pain to exercise. Some days I may not be there mentally due to brain fog, anxiety, or depression or all three (quite the roller coaster). Some may have a family or work obligations that come up. So we all must have that FLEX in our plans and ADJUST. I like that: FLEX and ADJUST.
We are creatures of habit and we tend to settle into that habit whether good or bad. We find a good spot on the couch and it becomes our spot. We don’t want anyone else in our spot. We find a place to live and we settle in.
However, settling bleeds over into our personal lives and our careers in a way that can be detrimental to our happiness and well-being. We settle into our chosen political party and to our detriment and others, we go with whatever the politicians and parties say and do. We make excuses for them. We make excuses for ourselves about the terrible relationships, friendships, and family-ships we have. We make excuses for them and the treatment we receive from them. We make excuses about why we stay at a job and in a career when deep down we are bored. We hate it. Some of us pretend to be be ok but, the truth is your unhappiness seeps out in other ways.
Settling isn’t easy. It’s just the path of least resistance. You can ignore. You can pretend to be happy and okay. You can dive into alcohol, drugs, and sex to temporarily numb your pain. You can focus on your children and grandchildren and not the broken marriage or relationship to take your mind off what you really know. But, children grow up. Grandchildren grow up. And then what? You can focus on money, big homes, jewelry, designer clothes and cars but, those things get old the very next day. You can say it pays the bills and provides for the family but, so could another job or career.
It takes GUTS, COURAGE, BOLDNESS to unsettle. It’s scary. You could take that same energy you are using to resist the truth and facts and use it to CHANGE. You could use it to do what is best for your spirit and soul. I get it. It’s not easy. What is? What’s the price of your happiness? Haven’t you paid enough? If you want to unsettle your life in order to live in freedom then you must overcome your fear. You must walk through the fear of what others may think or fear of the known. You will be guided. You will make mistakes. It will be different for a little while and then you will get use to it. You will start to love being able to make powerful and small choices that allow you to control the flow of your life. As a Christian, people use the excuse that “God is in control” to not take responsibility and control of the things they can control. They hide behind this excuse. God or the Universe presents us with choices. Even in the Bible God says before us there is life and death. Then God says “choose life.”
Choose life. Joy is life. Peace is life. REAL LOVE, TRUE LOVE is life. Doing what you love is life. Being in a safe, caring, intimate, loving environment is life. Having friends that uplift you and friendship that has a good balance is life. Choose life. The other stuff is killing you slowly and silently.
I admit I have had my 2020 bashing fits. Who hasn’t? And in the last post I was inspired to talk about what one has birthed in 2020 to focus on and not so much as what one has buried. Challenging I am sure.
In this post I want to highlight my growth and share my favorite moments of 2020. I choose to remember the life and light of two dear people lives that have transformed from their physical bodies to their spiritual bodies. They changed clothes in a sense from the seen to the unseen. One is engraved in my memory as a childhood brother and the first best friend of my brother. The other is engraved in my mind as the one my brother trusted and bonded with as second best friend, a brother, in the beginning of his law enforcement career. A soul that was his ace and knowing my brother had a good friend he could trust and count on made me happy. I remember life, love, and brotherhood.
I grew spiritually. Every morning for about 40 weeks of this year my daughter and I have had breakfast each morning listening to Iyanla Vanzant’s Viral Messages Live on YouTube or Facebook Live. It blessed, uprooted, confirmed, and expanded my soul. I am forever changed into more of who I truly am on this spiritual journey. It also deepened the bond between mother and daughter as we shared breakfast, thoughts, and notes. I watched my daughter have her AH HA moments. I also took a leap of faith and had my first one day conference for women. It took courage because i deviated from the tradition of Christianity, Church, and Denomination and went with the flow in which I was created to go. It was so freeing and terrifying at the same time!
I am growing as a parent. My parenting style is changing and evolving. It has been a challenge and a rocky journey. I often have to deal with my own insecurities that produce anxiety and depression. I battle fiercely to not only keep my head above water but, to be on the boat and navigating the ship (my mind).
I grew as a micro business owner. I attempted to take free online classes. Due to my illness, I now have difficulty learning. What I did retain by writing down, I used when I created a website and marketed my business. I hope to have more funding to promote it and to expand it. I hope to make it a LLC. I took a risk with a virtual vending opportunity. I learned that I do better vending in person but, I did gain some exposure. I also broke slightly over even. I am grateful for that.
I grew mentally (matured) in my way of thinking and dealing with losses or disconnections. Four times this year I thought I had a suitable mate. However, each one disconnected for various reasons and the last one is the one that really got to me. I see it as the Universe, God, telling me that this was NOT the year to make those kinds of connections. It was not the time. The greatest lesson from the last one was to learn to let love go for a greater love. Let what is leaving, leave. Let what has been planted grow and manifest.
I grew healthier by learning how to control by diabetes better. After taking a 3 day diabetes class it changed my entire perspective on managing it. I learned that I can eat just about anything but, it all comes down to carbs and portion control. My A1C went from 13. 8? to 6.2. I still have work to do. However, it was a victory to me!
I sure hope our ride for 2021 is an actual ride versus the train wreck this one has been. However, it has brought to us the BIGGEST lessons and HOPE the majority of us SEE them. I hope we EMBRACE the lessons and APPLY them to our lives from here on out.
Have you had a difficult time getting in the “holiday” mood? I know I have. It seems as if I put up some decorations, picked up a few gifts, and mailed out cards to help others but, at times it seems as if I cam just going through the motions. I have received cards and that has brightened my season. I have received a poinsettia and every time I see it, it gives me a bit of Christmas nostalgia. Yet, something seems to be missing.
I know this has been a rough year and MANY of our loved ones are no longer here due to COVID. Some are feeling the loss of jobs, status, socializations, etc. and the culmination of only God knows what. I don’t have much to offer us except prayers and one wish that you will count your blessings.
Counting your blessings or naming the things in which you are grateful for can always bring GRATITUDE. I may not have much joy or cheer but, I do have gratitude. I do have hope for better and more normal tomorrows ahead.
We can label 2020 as the worst year ever. We can also talk about our successes and what we gained. We can talk about what we learned and how we grew. We can FOCUS on these things and acknowledge the horrors of 2020.
What did you burry in 2020? I am sure you know and I am not talking about your loved one but, even out of death I have been made aware of some things. It caused changes and gave me some deep reflection of my own life and how I connect with others. But, what about what you birthed?
I was listening to the message from Pastor Steven Furtick and he talked about how Jacob buried Rachel, the woman he loved right outside of Bethlehem, the place where Jesus was born. It made me reflect on what I buried and what I birthed this year.
I buried my plans and I birthed one of MY VISIONS.
Friends were buried and I birthed a greater appreciation for the friends I have left on this earth. I birthed a stronger connection with classmates.
I buried man made traditions and birthed a WORSHIP in SPIRIT and in TRUTH relationship with GOD.
I buried love (still in the grieving process) in exchange for a GREATER LOVE.
And so much more…
After that message I decided to look at 2020 with a different perspective. Was it a terrible year? Yes it was. But did I learn? Did I succeed at anything? Did I change for the better in any way? I did.
It seems as though this week, this year has been filled with setbacks. Individual setbacks and when you look at it, setbacks across the nations. It seems as if we take a step forward and two steps back. It’s a push against some invisible force. It’s what I talked to you about in the beginning of the year. It’s the tearing down and building up. What’s it going to take to clear the debris of this year, or the last four years for some, is perseverance.
persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.
I know you must rest. You must rest and get adequate rest in order to clear the debris. This is hardcore labor. This is blood, sweat, and tears, It’s ugly and you can’t be cute or handsome with this. You are going to need some perseverance. You need determination. Make up your mind and set your face like flint. This means: Whatever comes your way, don’t change your mind about the outcome. Don’t change your mind about the business. Don’t change your mind about education. Don’t change your mind about your goals and dreams. Set your face like flint. Get it done in the face of the harsh winds that may blow.
I was worried about my big birthday plans. I was worried about not being able to travel. I was worried about my business and not making money. I was worried about not being able to gather with friends. I HAD PLANS! BUT…
Thank God, I knew how to adapt. I knew how to adjust. I knew how to accept. IT WAS HARD. BUT I DID IT. YOU DID IT. AND NOW IT’S TIME TO REMOVE THE DEBRIS. I also learned what and who was really important in my “plans”.
I found out who I was this year. I found out who others weren’t. I found out what I was made of and I found out what I wasn’t. And now it’s time to clear out the debris. It’s time to wash away the losses and look at what has been born. What did you birth? What came out of this? What can you do with what’s left and what can be toss? What can you clear out?
Make way for the new. Take off the sackcloth and get on with your “it” in a NEW and PROFOUND way.