Today my daughter turns 17. 17! I remember the day and the days ahead were filled with concern as to how I would survive this world with a child and as a single parent. I look at her and think, “Wow. You’re actually okay. I am doing pretty good as a parent. Somehow. It’s a miracle!” Somehow by the grace of God, the foundation of firm principles laid by my parents, wisdom I ask for almost daily, and through trial, error, and experience she’s a pretty good young lady. There is no perfect parenting because there is no perfect parent. However, I try to make sure I am doing the best I can.
I take an active approach to improving not only myself as a person but, myself as a parent. Am I being the best parent I can be? What can I learn to help me? What can do differently? Did I say I was sorry? Did I say I was wrong? I read. I pray about it, too and ask for guidance. I approach every year by trying to remember what it was like to be 17. I read any article about being 17. I stay up on trends and current issues. I like to be “in the know” about what she knows. And I do my best to guide this leg of her journey. However, I have started to prepare myself for letting go and being more of the guide and not the driver. I think I may have started her first year in high school more so than middle school. (It’s never going to be easy no matter how much you prepare! And you’re never going to really let go!)
Some parents seem to believe that when their children turn 18 they are an adult and you let them go. You turn them loose. You let them do whatever they want to do. You are done. I beg to differ. They need you all the more in their young adulthood but, in a different capacity. Whether they listen or not, is totally up to them. Hopefully, we have established a good enough relationship, and I believe we have, that we can at least have the conversations needed in certain times. She’s pretty honest about how she feels. I asked her how does she feel being 17. Nervous? Getting close to being independent? She said yes. I told her she will be fine. I would be there to help. To push. To prod. To fuss. 🙂 To teach. To learn with her. Things have changed. We have to adjust as parents and we have to know when to hold to certain principles, values, and morals. I am thinking person. Analytical, logical, and emotional. (Ha!). And because we have to do so much as a parent other than clothe, feed, and shelter, this is why it’s impossible to get everything right.
Cheers to 17! Here are a few articles I have read
- It was legendary because I stretched out my faith, moved beyond my fears, and took leaps
- Some wounds by those closest to you can change the dynamics of the relationship forever even after you have forgiven them
- Not my circus. Not my monkey. Liberation.
- I don’t need anyone to sign off on my relationship with God. No one gets to decide if I am a REAL CHRISTIAN. Liberation
- I don’t need to be believed or understood. I don’t need to explain. I am who I am. I be who I be. Liberation.
My 42 Journey was about Liberation and Legendary Actions
However we end up intertwined with other people’s problems, our adult children, friends, family, parents or coworkers, at some point, when it’s an ongoing problem they refuse to fix, we have to bow out. The bow out may not be gracefully. It may be a barging out, a tip toeing out, or a slow walk backwards in order to preserve our sanity, our own happiness, and to enjoy the rest of the life we have on this earth.
Spring is almost here and it’s time to at least begin the process of putting away fall/winter decor, getting rid of excessive items, and pulling out some of your spring clothing items while putting away your heavy coats. It’s a back and forth on clothing items until spring settle ins. Also, for many it’s time to plant and get their yard prepped. I am renting the condo I am in and I have not been in the mood to plant a garden here. However, it is a definite need to keep the small yard cut and weeded. I have never seen a weed problem like this one in my life! I will opt for potted plants.
My home always has a beachy theme or feel. My favorite colors are in the turquoise family. However, I wanted less of the turquoise and more of something else. I was ready to go out of my comfort zone for the living room/downstairs area. I went with the leftover royal blue glasses and the new color apple green. I am still working on the details, adding in some different variations of the colors, and keeping a hint of the beach present. EVERYTHING remaining inexpensive, clearance, dollar store finds, under $20, and reusing what I already have. A can of spray paint can do wonders for items you find that do not match your decor or items you are almost sick of looking at. Paint them and then next year you can sell them, paint them again or give them away.
In the photo above the plates and glasses were purchaed from the Dollar Tree. The napkins and mats were on clearance at Steinmart. I bought the apples from Michael’s. The painting was created by me!
The photo below: The Relax sign was $3 from Target and the green dog was 50% off from At Home store and so is the winker round/cone shape thing. Everything else is what I already had.
So far downstairs this is all I have done. I have learned to start early as I can tire easily or flare up. So, I go with the flow and when the flow is high I max it out and when it’s low I get a few things crossed off the list like taking down pictures or dusting and organizing or getting magazines ready for recycling. One thing I have found with this decorating scheme is I don’t have as much as I though I had to make it complete. I will have to scavenge clearance and low cost items to make it solid. I really want a few rugs. We will see!
Meditation means focusing my attention on aspects of eternal truth. -Jayanti God’s Healing Power, Finding Your True Self Through Meditation
It was a great weekend for me because I was pretty much pain free and free from the responsibilities of “adulting.” So what does one do with a weekend like this, well the first thing I did was sleep in! And then I went to Muddy’s for cupcakes. It’s my birthday month and I share this month with my daughter. When you walk into the doors of Muddy’s you are always greeted with a smile. I mean, hey, they bake sweet treats and that makes the employees just as happy as the customers that walk in! They bake cookies and cakes as well.
It’s a neat small place and I always like small spaces that make you feel like you can sit a while. It’s happily decorated and as a coffee connoisseur I noticed the coffee nook first.
I was craving the wedding cake cupcake and that is how I ended up here Saturday. Well, you can’t just get one. You “need” at least four! The purple is named “Called a Cab” and there is Red Velvet in the mix as well. There’s a chocolate one named “Prozac” mmm mmm delicious for chocolate addicts…uh lovers.
After getting cupcakes I was ready for lunch. I headed over to Mellow Mushroom for a calzone and white sangria.
I love the veggie calzone but, I was in the mood for something meat I asked to be seated on the patio, feeling the cool breeze mixed with the heaters above the table is perfect combination. Clear skies, sunny, and the music made you want to dance in your seat or at least, sing out loud which some people did. I like that it’s a variety of past hits from various genres. After eating lunch, I had a little time to kill before a wine tasting so I stopped by a consignment store and found a very cute pair of heels by Ann Taylor. I got them for $10! And I used my credit from a previous sale which was $10. My next stop was a wine tasting at Kirby Wines and Liquors. It was a tasting of Stella Rose flavored wines. I was feeling a bit tired afterwards and went home to rest. Believe it or not I regained just enough energy to make it to a family event; a birthday and anniversary party combined. I had a good time overall.
It was great feeling normal again even though I am paying for it dearly today. This is what usually happens to those of us that live a life of chronic pain. When we have a “good day” we usually take advantage of it. For one moment, I almost felt a bit sad that it couldn’t be like this all the time. I miss my old life. But, I decided to just enjoy this moment and day. This was a day that the Lord had made, I rejoiced and was glad in it. When you count your blessings, you can count it all joy.