A modern-day Renaissance Woman. A Creative and Spiritual Being. Author of Fiction and Non-fiction. Writer. Fashion. Art. Music. Food. History. Travel. A bit of a philosopher I am told. Dreamer. Entrepreneur.
As we TRANSITION into the year of 2023, while being mindful that we are in the Winter season, and though the year has changed overnight, we don’t. However, as we make plans and access our progress, have you thought about how you have changed from last year up until now? We are presented with some time to do just that. I mean how will we know how much we have grown and what areas we still need to grow, change, transform or evolve.
It did not look like it to me or feel like it to me at the time but, I was evolving. I really don’t feel like the same person. There is a shift in my consciousness and a new found confidence in myself, my gifts and talents. There is a profound NO in my spirit to things I don’t want to do, things that no longer serve me, and I don’t want to be around people that don’t really like me or choose not to understand me. I look back over some of my blog posts and I can see how over last year I was being “shaped” into who I am now. I may not know the complete purpose of it all but, I do know it is for my good and the good of humanity. Anytime we improve ourselves we improve the world. Being in the dark for half of the year about what was going on in my life did not feel good at all. I was lost. I was confused. I was depressed. I was anxious. I was angry. It seemed like every turn came with deep ditches of disappointments.
YET, I persevered. Many times, just floating along after hard hits. Some parts of me needed to be taken a part to rebuild and to be reinforced. I am reinforced with an unconditional love for myself. The relationship I needed to rebuild was once with God by connecting to God through meditation, listening, or reading in the mornings. Some mindsets needed to be destroyed. I also can see where I was stubborn and where it cost me great amounts of peace. I can also see where I had to stand my ground and speak the Word out of season (that was testy).
I want to know HOW YOU HAVE CHANGED, GROWN, TRANSFORMED OR EVOLVED? Do tell in the comments what you are comfortable sharing.
Welcome 2023 and January. It feels so fresh and so clean as this “fresh wind” blows the debris of last year away. I mean, if you allow it. It’s new life energy. Soft and airy feminine energy. I don’t feel the urge to hit the ground running. I feel like I’m easing into January and the New Year. You know, taking my time by continuing to plan and by taking intentional, thoughtful actions. I’m in tune and in flow with Winter and I have no need to go full steam ahead plowing away at goals.
Maybe because I understand what this year is about and maybe I understand what it is about for me personally. Yes, to a certain degree. Collectively, I believe we will be doing much inner work. I may get into that later on this month. Personally, I know I am in a 1 year and what this means for me is:
“The 1 Year is a time of new interests, experiences, goals, and understandings: about life, about you, where you have been, where you are now, and where you would like to be. And, because so much drastic change is required, you will also be learning the meaning of courage.”
This is the short version and it’s perfectly okay if you don’t understand “energy of a year or month or personal year”, etc. It’s not really for you to understand. It’s for me. 🙂 Usually, in Christianity there is a New Year’s message for the collective and some take it as their own personal message for the year. I usually take what is for me from the collective message and wait on God to tell me what I need to be doing for the year. Things seem to always line up from energy of the year, personal year, instructions from God, and what I get from a New Year’s Eve message. Maybe not right away but, synchronization happens all year long.
Anyway, here is to a new year and I hope it is everything you want it to be and everything you need it to be for your transformation, evolution, and manifestation.
It’s not that I didn’t know this. It’s that I ignored this. I learned this year many people are at physical places of worship out of loyalty, tradition, and ritual. They are not getting much out of the leadership that is delivering the Word and they long to be somewhere else. They are trying to stick it out. They are confused about what to do. They know what to do but are afraid to do it. So here we sit. Here we struggle on Saturday or Sunday to get dressed. We drag ourselves to a building to hear a dry and stale message for us. It may be someone’s word but it is NOT our Word. We have to strain to get something each Sunday. We are shamefully glad when service is over.
What I eat spiritually four to five times a month matters greatly. Who I get it from matters greatly. If the Shephard that feeds you is not after God’s own heart but, a shepherd passed down or chosen by a board or worse, a shepherd that called him or herself, you won’t be fed knowledge and understanding. You will be fed something below your level of spiritual maturity. You may even be fed lukewarm food, baby food, or microwave food. You may be fed a sermon from another pastor wrote off the internet. You may be fed slop from a pastor that doesn’t study the Word. You may be fed by a leader that doesn’t walk the walk of the talk they preach on Sunday. Your flesh may be fed by slogans, catchy phrases, and slang that makes you shout but, doesn’t change your life or enlighten you. If there is no oil running from the head then there will be no oil on the people. You need oil. You need the anointing to reside in a holy place.
I found myself eating stale bread this year more often than I would have liked. It is not like fresh bread wasn’t available. I went because I was asked to do something or speak. I went out of obligation. I went because I know it looks bad for me to not be there. I went out of love and then was upset after the meal was served as if I didn’t know there would be mediocracy on the menu.
My spiritual diet is vital to my soul. It is vital to my life. If I didn’t tune into other spiritual leaders and guides, myself, I may have given up on God and I may even have given up on life. Thank goodness, and God, I had eaten enough in the past to pull from. Thank goodness, thank God, I had something to hold onto and that I do have a strong relationship with my Creator.
I asked my daughter, “Have you ever had someone like you but they don’t like you?” And before I could explain she exclaimed, “Oh my God! Yessss mama!”
I was shocked she understood and I continued to go in depth into the matter. “It’s like they would like you if you they didn’t have a reputation to uphold.” They would like you if they hadn’t been talking about you behind your back so badly or in the same room as they text their friends about you. There are moments when they let their guard down when others aren’t around but as soon as their clique appears or squad the part of them that would be in harmony with you disappears. Deep down inside they suspect you would be a good friend or an asset but their pride won’t let them connect with you. Instead, they find ways to drive more wedges between you and them. I mean after all; they would have to admit they are wrong about you and face the firing squad of their group. They remain two-faced. Two-faced people can never, ever be trusted. “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8 You wouldn’t trust a two-legged chair.
It takes a courageous and mature person to say, “I was wrong about you.” I’ve had people say that to me and I have said it to others. It is usually after you get to know a person or see something in them that indicates you have misjudged or misunderstood them.
Lesson: With great deliberation and intention, make meaningful connections with people that want to do the same with you. Remove yourself from places and spaces you’re not welcomed.
“And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.” Matthew 10:14
Life has ebb and flow, ups and downs. Life also has seasons. Someone had an amazing year. They were on top of the world. Someone had a good year with some hard moments or situations. Someone had a very rough year and had to search long and hard for silver linings. I was the latter.
I spent the first part of the year trying to resist the season I was in. I knew it would be a season or year of endings but, I didn’t think it would be as difficult and as challenging as it was. I kept in mind “With endings come new beginnings” and was expecting those new beginnings to show up right away. They did not and when they didn’t, I fought against it. I gave up several times but got back up after sleeping (resting see https://nikkisconfettilife.com/2022/12/22/my-top-lessons-of-2022-lesson-9-sleep-is-powerful/ ) and spiritual guidance.
It was the middle of the year when God spoke and told me I was going through an evolution. I would not be the same. It was then that I realized this was not the first time in my life I had gone through an evolution. In fact, I have and we have been going through periods of evolution in our lives since birth and awareness. And we will continue because life has seasons and/or cycles that repeat themselves. Once you recognize what is going on you can handle things better. You can cope with things better as you grow in grace and wisdom. I thought I wasn’t going to make it sometimes because life seemed so dark this year. But what I now understand is that birth can sometimes look like death because of the pain, suffering, and darkness surrounding the removal of old ways, patterns, things, and people.
In the Bible, when the man whose hand was withered was told by Jesus to “stretch forth his hand” I bet it felt like his entire arm was going to break and fall off. Imagine something being as tight, unused muscle, bone, and tissue being a particular way for years and years and it unfolding. I felt like I was being dashed against mountains. I felt like I was being abandoned. There was great confusion. There was despair and disdain. There was anger. God took it all. God can take whatever you throw because God understands you will be okay, better, afterwhile. God doesn’t take it personal. I was being UNFOLDED from the WOMB of old habits, attachments, patterns, people and things that no longer served by higher good. I was coming into a larger space like a baby folded up in a womb for 9 months being birth. The baby has no idea what is happening. The baby cries after birth and needs to do so to clear the airways in order to breathe. People will rejoice at the baby but, they don’t want to hear about your labor pain. I want you to know it’s a sacred time with you and the Creator. Most of the people interested in your labor pain are those that are in labor or have been in labor.
My limbs (my mind and heart in this case) needed to unfold into this new space, this new era of my life. Being born is a season you can’t control. It can only be accepted. Sometimes it will be during the process and sometimes it will be after the process spiritually speaking. You may not even fully accept it until much after or when you come into awareness that it was birthing season. A season of coming through a very long dark canal wondering if there is a light at the end. Sometimes fearing the light at the end. Sometimes not realizing that you are light in the tunnel coming into a new space. In life we must continue to EXPAND.
My mantra for next year (given to me in prayer and meditation) is to BE YOUR LIGHT AND SHINE UNAPOLOGICALLY. You read it correctly. Be your light. I am not to be a light or the light but to be my light. We all have a light within that shines. Your light within is not like my light. My light is not like yours. I don’t get to create your light and tell you how to shine. This light is created in you by a Higher Power. I could not escape the season I was in. It was happening whether I was aware of it or not. Now that I look back on some years in my life where “all hell was breaking loose” it is because it was. I was being born again.
“You are the world’s light—it is impossible to hide a town built on the top of a hill.” Matthew 5:14
As I was reflecting on this year and preparing for next year (writing dreams and goals), I started to feel like I needed to hurry up and get things written or done. The feeling of anxiety creeps in when I feel pressure sometimes. I don’t know why I felt like I needed to rush to get things done before the new year until I asked myself and answered myself. It’s the same energy in which people try to accomplish all of their New Year’s resolutions in the first three months of the year. Often, without a game plan and strategy. It’s the energy of “refresh” and change or the opportunity that excites us.
However, it was Spirit who said gently to me, “You don’t have to rush. It’s still winter in January, February, and March. Move with the seasons.” Ease into the New Year. You have time. Winter is still “still” and a time of recharging. We don’t have to hit the ground running January 1st. In fact, it’s best you don’t because you will burn out by Spring and Spring is where everything is coming to life. It takes energy to “come to life”. If you pace yourself, you’ll have energy. If you recharge by refreshing, taking your time, planning, doing a little here and there, you will conserve energy. When everyone else is no longer going to the gym, you’ll be hitting your stride. When everyone has given up on their long list, you’ll be marking things off and on to the next.
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to rush. Stay in the season.
As a person with underlying conditions, sleep can be allusive. In addition to insomnia, there is pain-somnia (the inability to sleep well due to pain through the night) and then there is the thing I do from time to time. I am wired and cannot sleep until late into the night or early morning. This year I have ensured I go to bed on time for the most part. I have created a flexible routine.
Today there is a culture of “Grind until I die, Team No Sleep, or I’ll Sleep When I Die”. Sleep is seen as a sign of a lack of drive and weakness. Boy, if they only knew the power of sleep. I dream most of the time when I am sleeping. I get messages for myself mostly when I dream. If I don’t sleep. I don’t dream. I like to dream. Sleep gives your body time to repair cells and rejuvenate itself. We were designed to sleep. Sleep can help settle, declutter, and clear the mind. It can give you new and fresh ideas. It can give you strength and the power to keep going. You can run circles around people that intentionally do not rest. Some sleep but not many rest. Rest involves your whole being and not just your body. Keep this in mind when it comes to sleep. I added the parenthesis of mind and spirit on the list below.
Getting enough sleep has many benefits. It can help you:
Get sick less often
Stay at a healthy weight
Lower your risk for serious health problems, like diabetes and heart disease
Reduce stress and improve your mood
Think more clearly and do better in school and at work (mind)
Please hurry up and fall out of love with things and people that do not love you like you need to be loved. When I say things, I mean habits and ideas or ideals that no longer serve you. And especially, the ones that never served you in the first place. These things are holding up your progression. When I say people, I mean friendships and relationships. Fall out of love with the need to belong to a huge group of “girlfriends”. Please hurry up and fall out of love with that deep down inside longing to be accepted by your religious peers. It’s your need for acceptance stemming from childhood that keeps you bound. You oblige yourself to people that do not want you or really like you. AND you know it because you FEEL it.
It may be easier to say never fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you but, you may be the one that develops feelings first and the other person does a little later. But once you realize that the love is not there or doesn’t reciprocate in the manner designed for you, fall out of love with that person. Walk your feelings back. Pull back and pull off. As a friend once told you, “Put your heart in your pocket and not on your sleeve.” It is okay to and necessary for your growth and progression to fall out of love with things and people that do not love you. You can operate in a love for mankind for those people. A “Godly” love.
With Unconditional Love,
P.S. You cannot make deep connections where there are puddles in people. -Nicole Jackson