JUNE EXPLORATION: NO WORDS

Have you ever heard something or have something happen that made you so angry or hurt you so deep you couldn’t say anything? Or you were in such disbelief of the audacity or the betrayal or whatever it was, you just could mumble a “say what? No!” That’s because that thing HURT you to the core. It DISTURBED your soul. The sadness had DEPTH. YOU JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU WERE HEARING or what happened. When I’m so angry, I can’t speak, it’s real bad. Because more than likely I’m hurt on a level that has penatrated beyond my usual responses to anger. Come get me. My cousins know to come get me. Remove me. Lol. Holy Spirit be like, LEAVE. BE QUIET. SHUT IT. 🥊

It happened to me yesterday. I’m so hurt at the actions of an individual that it’s not sadness to the heart or soul it’s anger. But thank God instead of FIGHT OR FLIGHT I FROZE. I PAUSED. This happens automatically and I don’t quite understand how but I’m glad it does. I’ve had to learn to control my temper and my mouth. (For the most part, I do the best I can and continue to work at it. Currently, the testing continues and so does therapy (for other things but it sure did help) and God’s wisdom. Thank you HOLY GHOST! FOR RESTRAINT! )🙏🏽

I’ve been angry-hurt (that’s a good way to put it) about this over 12 hours. You think a person can’t reach new lows and they be like, hold my beer. And let me show you how much lower I can go. 😐

~Nikki 💚