Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Protecting Non-Traditional Space

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I’ve chosen a beautiful, peaceful, Sunday and it has chosen me. You are responsible for the energy you bring to my space (home, conversation, social media pages, inboxes), but I am responsible for removing it. Even if that means removing the source. I am responsible for setting the boundaries and enforcing them.

I believe that everything is energy. I believe you can feel it, observe it, and absorb it. If you can put it out, you can take it in. We often think of protecting spaces like our home, our office, and this invisible space around our being known as our personal space. But what about our social media spaces? What about our timelines, comment sections, inboxes, and DMs (Direct Messages)? What about the people we like, but we have a stark contrast when it comes to what’s funny, what’s moral, beliefs, ideals, etc.? Some things are just too much for me. Even if it’s too religious. Yes, if it’s too religious, too political or too dark for me, I will either remove them, snooze them, hide the post, unfollow and unfriend. I will delete what I don’t want to see or what is causing ruckus. I cannot stand bickering. I do enjoy a respectful discussion. I have control in my space. You have control in your space.

Everyone has their own stage, platform, and microphone. Your page is your venue. It’s up to you what type of crowd you want to have. Who stays and who goes. Who is muted and unmuted. It’s disrespectful for you to grab the mic on someone else’s stage when you haven’t been asked up. Even on open mic night, there is an order.

It would be nice if we THOUGHT about “how”, what energy we are bringing, when we do respond, inbox and DM. I personally bypass things I don’t agree with 98% of the time. I usually wait for a “What do you think?” or an “opinions, thoughts?” I read the comment section to see how the person is responding before I jump in. “It is better to be asked up, than to be asked down.” -Bible. If I know you personally (your energy, your personality), I know whether we can dialogue or not. By wisdom, I know there is a time and place for it, too. Rarely, is the comment section the place. An open rebuke is given by a friend (Bible) and even in that, it doesn’t necessarily mean in public. Once again, wisdom. Who, what, when, where, and how.

I don’t care if it’s outrageous to me, I have learned and I am learning to respond without a like or an angry face because you’re expressing “what’s on your mind” and I have a space for “what’s on my mind”. If I don’t have anything nice to say, I scroll on. You’re not a news outlet (That is an entirely different beast). I also don’t follow people or businesses I don’t like just to comment with negativity. That is a very low form and a waste of energy. It is also the planting of seeds I don’t want to harvest. And just like buildings that are VISIBLE to the public, not all are open for the public. Some have dress codes and rules. My social media space is public, but I decided what I tolerate and how I respond. AND YOU DO, TOO.

You log onto your social media sites with this good vibe (well those of us that are creating good energy and vibes) and it can easily be dampened when you start to scroll or you read insulting, mean spirited, brash comments to your opinion or positive post. Some have made me say silently “WTFudge? or Who asked you? I know there was not a question mark at the end of my post. I know I didn’t solicit your thoughts, opinions. You don’t know me like that.” But I just either leave what I deem ignorance blowing in the wind or I delete it. If the comment differs from my idea, it’s all about how you word it. Your delivery matters to me.

Lewd memes and videos are not my style. Being badgered with bad news, negativity, anger, political news, conspiracy theories, religious dominance, is not my vibe. I am part of several groups and thank God I can snooze them, too. I can’t hear about depression, anxiety, Rheumatoid, etc each time I log on. I have those things, battle those things, etc. and enjoy supporting others in it. I am grateful for the support of those groups. But it can be overwhelming. Certain things in my inbox and DM I don’t want to see. If I don’t hit a like or respond with a smile, yet you keep on hitting me up with it, I began to think you are a bit slow at grasping that I am not feeling it. Therefore, I am learning to say, “Please don’t send me things like this. Thanks.”  or “I’m not interested, but I will reach out to you when and if I am. Thanks.” I’m not someone’s vibe. I expect them to govern themselves accordingly. In all things, with love and peace.

~Nikki

 

 

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Focusing on The Bigger Picture of Social Media (For Me)

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I have social media pet peeves. Everyone does. I can list so many things that burn my britches when it comes to social media but, in the larger scale of who I am and what I am trying to represent, who cares about the things that irritate me to the core? I shouldn’t. I’m not talking about things that we should be appalled by or things that we should report. I am speaking of just things that can pull you into the “comment” section and the “reply” section. I have to remind myself, it’s not that serious. I tell myself, just eye roll, shake your head, and realize they are “on some other stuff” (on another level ). I thank God for unfriend, unfollow, and snooze for 30 days if it really starts to irritate me. There is only so much negativity or shade throwing I can take. Thankfully, I don’t see much of the shade throwing on my timeline or feed. But, I do see other things that can really vex my spirit. And I know for sure I probably irritate others with my posting! Touche!

However, when you are trying to be positive or tend to the business side of social media, you can get distracted by the bull, drama, politics, immaturity, negativity or whatever your pet peeve is. Sometimes, I am just being social and trying to catch up with others. Here is what I have been reminding myself and teaching myself for the last year:

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…LET THEM HAVE AN OPINION EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT AND EVEN IF YOURS IS DIFFERENT

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…IF THEY FEEL THAT IS THE BEST WAY TO GET CUSTOMERS/KEEP CUSTOMERS (SHRUGS SHOULDERS)

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…THAT IS FAKE NEWS

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…YOU KNOW THAT PERSON LOVES TO ARGUE AND NOT DEBATE

JUST KEEP SCROLLING…AND FINISH WHAT YOU CAME TO DO

GO BACK AND DELETE THAT (You do not have time to go back and forth)

DELETE DELETE DELETE (LOL)

Sometimes when someone says something crazy or off the wall on my posts I let it stay there and never respond. I leave it for others see how crazy the person is HAAAAAAA!!!!! But most times I just delete it and keep it moving.

You see, I have several pages and social media outlets are more than just a place to be social for me. I like to joke, I like a good debate, discussion from time to time but, you know life is still going on around me. Goals have to be met, dreams have to come true, family has to be taken care of and friends have to be chatted with. So, the bigger picture of why I hopped on in the first place helps me to stay woke lol…focused on the bigger picture.

~Nikki