Do You Want to Get Married?

rose-wedding-bouquet

Yesterday, a guy asked me if I wanted to get married (not as in a proposal ha!) I said “I don’t know and I know that is strange coming from a woman,but maybe not. Most of the time I do but, today I am not sure.”

I remember when my answer to this question was a certainty. A resounding “Yes!” And then in my late 20’s to my 30’s I think it was more of saying yes to this question, trying to convince myself that I still did want to get married. I mean what woman wouldn’t want to? (You don’t have to answer that because I do know not every woman wants to be married) As I reflected on my answer last night and this morning I logged onto Facebook and began to scroll my timeline. Someone had posted the 8 a.m. service of my church so I clicked the play button.

He talked about remembering, visions, dreams, and revelation. I remembered the dream I had at the beginning of the year where I was attending my niece’s wedding (she is already married), and a very good friend was there whom I trust more than most. Well in this dream my niece had on a lavender robe (her favorite color is purple/lavender) but, everything  involving the wedding was pink. A soft pink. The bridesmaid dresses were pink and I had one on. The flowers were a mixture of pinks. I held up some lingerie which was a gift to her and I said “What are you going to do with this?” And we both laughed and laughed. When I went out to the living area, it was if we were in a suite, my friend was there in a suit. He said “Someday, you are going to make a beautiful bride.” And then I woke up.

I researched the color pink down to the shades. I found that the color I was wearing and that mostly dominated the dream was symbolic of hope. I immediately got the message “Keep hope alive. Never let your hope of being married wither.” You keep hope alive by actively choosing faith. Hope and faith, like many other things are connected in the spiritual realm of this world and our lives. If you lose hope, faith can waver or dissipates over time. If you lose faith, hope wavers or dissipates over time. However you spin it, they belong together.

I accessed my feelings in relation to the question asked. How have you been feeling lately Nikki about relationships and dating? I have been feeling doubtful, frustrated, impatient. This is why I answered, “I don’t know.” My pastor reminded me that vision and dreams are connected and you needed to remember what God, (or your source-that’s me talking to you), has promised you. Also, God will give a revelation, instructions, on how to go about making the dream manifest. You just do as the instructions come or as the instructions say. This could be about anything. For me, at that moment is was about the marriage. It was about me remembering the many dreams I have had about love, relationships, and marriage. It was about connecting my vision of what love looks like and what love means to me, to dreams I’ve been given and following the instructions (like blocking a number of some crazy guy I met) or hearing the voice of the Spirit say “This guy still has feelings for his ex. Keep your heart to yourself.”….so you see, revelation must be followed. Do you want to get married? Yes. Yes I do.

~Nikki

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In the Meantime

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Some people will never know this feeling because they are out one thing and into another before they have a chance to TRULY go through the process of a relationship detox. I know. I did that to myself for years. I didn’t want to FEEL the lows of being single, the deflating of being a couple, so I found something or something found me and I jumped right in.

(SIDE BAR: When you are hurting or angry or nonchalant after a serious breakup or divorce, you are vulnerable to attracting negative energy masquerading as light whether you know it or not. It’s the prime opportunity for people to come in and situations to be created that will many times end up being worse than what you experienced before or adding salt to the unhealed wounds.)

Getting under someone else or with someone else to show the world or your ex that “You are just fine without them” is really doing more harm to you than them. When the feeling wears off and you realize, you really don’t like that person or love that person as much as you thought you did, you’ve got to break up or break it off with them, too. You used them. You have to pay for that.

Let me tell you what it really takes to feel good to be single. It takes TIME. It takes making a CHOICE to BE HAPPY being SINGLE. It takes, CHANGING the way the world has told you to think about being single. Therefore, producing a bad feeling about being single because thoughts and feelings are connected. It takes a DEEP INTROSPECTIVE PROBE of your good and not so good behaviors. It takes EMBRACING your good and WORKING on your not so good. It takes enduring the LONELY moments. And right there my friends is the critical moment that you either decide to jump into bed or a relationship to get rid of that feeling or you pray your way through, you do something, you feel it, you deal with it-that will make or break you. You don’t get into anything based on a feeling of loneliness. Because loneliness is a tricky feeling. You have to feel it and once it passes MAKE a decision. Loneliness comes and goes. Feelings and Emotions are two different things. It takes a REAL understanding of WHO YOU ARE without another person. It takes LEARNING to enjoy every day, every experience, without always being attached to a thought “If only my soul mate was here.” It’s a HOLDING ON TO HOPE that in due time it will all come together while you are DOING YOU (working your gifts and talents in the EARTH). IT IS NOT AN ANGRY SHOUT TO THE WORLD OF I DON’T NEED OR WANT ANY ONE BECAUSE that is exactly what you will get. It’s a very relaxed state of mind and CHILL ZONE if you will.

Listen, walk the woods of being single. It’s all dandy in the daytime but, when night falls it gets a little lonely and scary but guess what? It will be day time tomorrow. And after a while you will get use to the night time. Before you know it, you will be out of the woods of the initial “single” mental/emotional challenge and you will be walking where it is more day than night. And when night does come, you won’t be so afraid that you are willing to hold on to anything-even if it is not something or someone created for you.

~Nikki