Kanye-ing Anxiety

 

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There are  times in life when we will face some really difficult situations which can cause us to “worry” or to become “concerned” about the outcome. Anxiety is a perpetual worry and concern. It can come like a flood seemingly out of nowhere or it can come immediately when something foreseen or not begins to manifest right before our eyes. And many times  it may never manifest or at least not to the full degree we allow ourselves to imagine. It is when our active imagination takes us out in the deep where we lose sight of the shore of hope and faith. We are no longer anchored to the shore. We are floating out on a sea of shaky thoughts. We become “see” sick by the things we imagine will happen.

I ran across this quote and I had this thought: “Oh, it’s like Kanye-ing thoughts which create anxiety.” Imagine anxiety with a mic and you run up on stage and say “Look, I’m not going to give the mic back. However, I would like to thank the Creator for all that I have. I am grateful for life. I am thankful for the breath I breathe. I am thankful for the clothes and shoes I have. I am happy I can see, walk, talk and taste the food I have. I am so very grateful for the lessons I am learning….”  You know blah blah blah good stuff until Anxiety walks off the stage and has a seat.

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In many cases it’s rude to interrupt but, it’s perfectly fine to interrupt negative thoughts and “what ifs” that create and build up negative emotions that send you into anxiety rap battles also know as anxiety attacks. I remember reading a book by Inyanla Vanzant that stated “If you are going to play the “what if” game, play the other side.” In other words, what about “what if” it doesn’t happen? Instead, use your imagination to create solutions and calm. Also, if you play the what if game, then ask yourself what can I do if that does happen. I know it’s not easy. I know from experience. However, it’s worth cutting off negative thoughts or anxiety and filling your mind with gratitude instead.

~Nikki

The Mental Whip of Fibromyalgia

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As I type this there is a shooting pain in my fingers. It was pain in my face and well as you may know, fibromyalgia pain can move around your body fast and sharp like lightening. I have swelling and I am tired. I don’t want to talk. However, it’s not easy to do when you have to be a parent and you must put on your parent face. Even if that face feels like it’s being electrocuted.

I am not surprised there is a link to chronic pain/illnesses and depression. The way the two chronic pain twins I have, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia wrecks havoc on my body, I can tell you it can be more than a battle. It can be a war.

Today I have experienced little sharp pains on and off. I did not rest well last night because of carpal tunnel in both of my hands and forearms. So, I am very tired. Later, this evening the sharp pains began to move around and intensify. Again, on and off. Add stress from an event today and my mind is on a roller coaster of I can handle it on the way up and I can’t take this @#$%! on the way down. I’m angry. I ‘m sad. I am hurting. My skin feels like something is crawling on it and it’s itchy at times. This is so annoying and it drives you nuts.

The mental whip of chronic pain is one with sharp objects attached to it. It rips away at your soul as it pulls out and damages your psyche as it comes back in for more. The thoughts to stay strong, when you really want to crash and burn, and sometimes, many times you do, is war. Your body and your mind, and your spirit is taking a beating.

I will pray for us tonight.

~Nikki

 

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Rise Up Again

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You have the courage and the strength to rise up again. Again means you have done it before and  if you have done it before you can do it again. I know. it’s never been this devastating. I know, it’s never been this dark. I know it’s never been this hard. Still, you have it in you to rise once more and again if you have to. And when you rise, pray.

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And when you rise up, TAKE courage. Sometimes you have to TAKE courage and do what needs to be done.

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Rise up.

~Nikki

 

 

Cooking w/Chronic Illnesses? Yeah. Right.

 

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Some of us loved to cook before Chronic Illnesses invaded our lives. Before fatigue, pain, damaged nerves, etc we didn’t mind getting in the kitchen and whipping up a feast or our favorite meals. In many forums I’ve seen some give up by force and some by choice. And that’s okay. Then there are those like me, stubborn and not willing to give up completely. I’ll go down in this ship and they will have to pry that spatula from my rheumatoid arthritic hand.

I’ve been known to be a bit hard headed. I’ve been known to spontaneously decide to do zumba when I’m not suppose to because it’s high impact and then pay the cost later. Usually, friends asking, was it worth the pain? Was it worth the flare? The correct answer is no. But I do feel some sort of satisfaction for doing something RA/RD took away from me. I’m sure I’ll stop that madness soon… Especially after that recent big flare and fatigue.

But cooking, especially when you have a family is not so easy to give up. Plus, I don’t have the money for a personal chef and my daughter is just now old enough to be trusted in the kitchen (thank God). However, when she wasn’t I had to cook. But I’m teaching her and it’s helping out more and more. I’ve scheduled her days and my days. I love cooking and having family/friends over and while I won’t give it up, I must make the necessary adjustments and take calculated risks at best. I really can’t do big feasts and extravagant meals like I did in the past but I can find new ways and new meals. I can adapt old recipes and plan meals out. I can. I will. Until I can’t.

Today, I’ll share a tool I love. The wok. Stir fry. Quick. Easy. And if you are worried about chopping vegetables don’t. Buy them at your local grocery in the frozen section. Also, I learned with Rheumatoid in my hands not to use so much force in stirring and to keep the wrist straight, using swift gentle motions. I’ve even used the wok with my compression gloves on. Also, investing in a chopper or processer is the best thing you can do.

Speaking of chopping and slicing vegetables, it’s difficult to slice and chop hard, thick, dense vegetables such as potatoes. Get someone else to do it if you can. Get a slicer. I didn’t mind slicing and dicing before. You know, it’s the touching and creating, the work of the art of cooking. I do sometimes still cut, slice, chop, easy vegetables like: Squash, zucchini, bell pepper, etc. I like fresh vegetables. On a good hand day I’ll cut and freeze them for later. Many times with help from my daughter.

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I hope to bring you more of my mishaps and lessons, simple recipes and meals.

~ Nikki

Champion Your Thoughts

 

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Muhammad Ali was a champion in many ways but, what made him a champion in those ways was his ability to champion his thoughts.

As I reflect on my life I look at the ways I use self defeating thoughts verses champion thoughts. Many of us have been preprogrammed with thoughts or conditioned to think certain thoughts through experiences. Either good or negative, we think. If I’m to be honest, my thought process didn’t begin to change until I was 30 (however, I woke up so to speak at 26)  and here we have it 11 years later, finally taking root and blooming.

Champion thoughts requires hard, grueling, relentless and challenging work. Long hours at the spiritual gym within and a spiritual diet fit for a champion. You can’t eat (listen to, digest) anything that’s put on your plate. You will suffer some defeats, barely make rounds, but you will begin to win more than you lose when you learn to never change your champion mentality. But, you need only to adjust your approach, strategy, study your opposition and hit the spiritual gym more. Reflect.

A champion doesn’t become a champion by building the body only. Many men have lost relying on brute force alone. Many have lost the fight in this life with brute force alone. Champion thoughts help you get through the toughest times in your life. I look at Muhammad Ali and even though his body was attacked by Parkinson’s and  it silenced him physically, HE WAS STILL SEEN AS THE CHAMP. Champion thoughts  have no need be verbalized all the time. Champion thoughts don’t care about your pain, wins, losses or draw.  Champion have a need to be lived. May we live out our lives from here on out with champion thoughts. May we not see the world as we have in our twenties but, as the champions we are. Are you not still standing? Raise your arms up high, fist to the sky, Champion.

~Nikki

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most […]

via Helping a Suffering Partner — MakeItUltra™ Psychology

What’s the Occasion?

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings

I don’t know the specifics of the occasion but, I do know it’s time to rise to it. It takes strength to rise. It takes courage to rise. Think about all the muscles at work when you rise from a seated position. Think about how much more strength when you’re weak and you have to rise. Some of us will need a little more strength. Some of us may need a hand.

I myself, need the the courage to rise to the occasion in my life. It’s time for me to be brave. I must confess, I’m not feeling very brave. I’m a little timid about rising to my call in my life. That’s my occasion. Why are you afraid Nikki? Well, I’m afraid I might do the wrong thing. I’m afraid I might mess it up. I’m afraid I might not do it the way others think I should and they will talk about me. It’s not just fear. It’s a paralyzing fear stemming from childhood.

So here we are. Some searching for strength and others for courage. Perhaps, both. We don’t have to search too far because it’s already in us. What we need is a made up mind to rise… No matter the outcome. What we need is knowing that it will all work out and we will learn along the way and this will help us to build more strength and courage to keep going forward. We can’t be afraid of trial and error. We can’t be ashamed if we make a mistake. We’ve been taught these things are bad things. All of our mistakes and failures in school, in life, on the job, by family friends and strangers are often HIGHLIGHTED. Don’t we do the same to others?

Sigh. Yet, it’s still time. The occasion is knocking gently at your door. Patiently, waiting on you to gather the strength and the courage to rise.

~Nikki

IF YOU’RE CRAZY AND YOU KNOW IT…

 

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Saturday Morning Coffee Musings

YOU’RE CRAZY.
IN RELATION TO YOUR DREAMS, WHEN PEOPLE SAY YOU’RE CRAZY, THEY ARE SAYING YOUR DREAMS ARE BEYOND THEIR SCOPE OF POSSIBILITY, REALITY AND IMAGINATION. -NICOLE JACKSON
Yesterday, I talked to a publisher for one of my clients. He told me how it took him 3 years to leave HIS JOB as a top guy with 700 employees under him. He said people kept telling him MAN YOU’RE CRAZY. Then he said plus I was mid age. Then I just couldn’t fight it anymore and here I am. Sometimes, I pinch myself and can’t believe I’m living my dream.
Me: Usually when they say YOU’RE CRAZY, in relation to your dreams, it’s a sure thing you’re on the right path.
Him: I can see that!
Me: Yeah, just think of all the people with a success story, even in the Bible, (he’s Christian), who were told THAT’S CRAZY and things worked out.
Him: Right! It’s been 9 years. An unbelievable 9 years.
Me: YOU’RE CRAZY means it’s outside their scope of reality, possibility & imagination. That’s all.
Him: WOW. Are you in ministry?
Me: Something like that.

 

 

Mood Swings. Don’t Push Me.

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Temperamental much? You bet!!!! We don’t know if it’s the medication or the pain so “STAND DOWN” is what we are yelling in the inside to those around us that’s adding to the irritation or in our heads they are adding to it. I mean that’s only for you to determine.

It doesn’t matter if it’s that dull nagging pain in that one area that’s been going on all day or all week. It doesn’t matter if it’s a full fledge flare and it’s going from your hand to hip. It doesn’t matter if suddenly you snap and yell “I’M TIRED OF HURTING ALL THE —- TIME!!!!! You’re in the DR Jekyll and Mr. Hyde phase. It can sneak up on you when you’re trying to open up a container with a plastic top or you see someone  jogging and you remember when you use to be able to do that. The MOOD suddenly swings and there you go. Hey, who pushed me???

What’s that noise?!!!!! Who’s running the water? Who left the light on? Are you getting smart with me? What are you looking at? And honestly, nothing more than a normal day and normal sounds and normal children/ teenagers or a spouse doing what they always do. It’s just 10 times as irritating because you’re in pain or your in reflection of the illness.

Here are my tips:
1. Hey, I’m in pain. (Well yeah, (they say), you’re in pain everyday). Here’s where you have to break it down to them I’m having a flare a high grade one or a low grade one (the nagging dull pain). So, could you keep the noise down or lose the attitude until further notice???
2. Retreat. Go to your room. Close the door. Turn the light off. I literally just did this and I’m typing this blog on my phone. My daughter seemed to get the picture right away.
3. If you have time off use it or see if you can come in later. (Honestly, I don’t know people that have this kind of job where they can come in later. But, if u do, do that!)
4. If you have a friend or relative that lives alone, and they have an extra room, run away to their home for a day or night. Tell them you just want peace ✌ and quiet.
5. Or, if I felt like getting up, I’d show u my sign for my door. It reads as follows: Flare. Enter at your own risk.
6. Find a quiet place outside, a walk if you can, the porch or patio and have your moment if you’re just feeling emotional about the changes your illness has put you through.
7. Many times I think of all the things I can do or still can do. That lifts your spirit.
8. I know it’s corny to some but, give thanks. Place to stay? Food to eat? Clothes to wear? People that care and love you? People that put up with your madness? In pain but can you see? Talk? Read? Walk? Taste good food?

So, as I lie here tonight in “I’m BATMAN” braces (they look like batman’s gloves. You know like I should be able to call for the bat car on my arm) for carpal tunnel syndrome, I hope your mood swing subsides… And mines too. I shouldn’t be typing but, I had to get this out! Free therapy!

 

 

~Nikki

Monday Morning Week POW WOW

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Monday Morning WEEK POW WOW
It’s a productive week and the atmosphere is conducive for miracles & favor
I stand firm in my beliefs without stooping to low level energies
I choose peace to keep my creative ideas flowing
I feed my body good food and exercise
I operate in possibilities
I give my time and energy to worthy recipients
Money & Promotion is attracted to me like a magnet