No Spend April Week 3: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Photo by Elise Bouet

This week I simply didn’t visit any sites, other than Amazon, that I shop on. When I became bored, I found other things that needed to be done or could be done. I told myself things like, “I wouldn’t know I missed it if I didn’t see it” and “It will be there when you need it” so, CHILL OUT NIKKI. You’ve done this before.

What I am learning about my spending and financial habits is my need to get it all right now. The urgency of if I don’t get it all right now, it won’t be there. And by “all” I don’t mean hoarding or buying so much of the same thing because it’s on sale that I don’t think about others who may need the item or discount as well. That’s right. I think we should think of others. I mean if I have things, I want to get done like have someone paint the family room, get the house power washed, install light fixture, I tend to think I need it all done at once. I have to remind myself often, “You don’t have to and you can’t do it all at once.” Where do I get this unrealistic idea for myself from? I think it’s a fantasy that comes from TV or the lifestyle of the rich and famous. The majority of us SAVE for what we want and need. Also, the failure of not having enough to get it ALL done because shouldn’t I have enough money to be able to do just that? And if I don’t, I must be mismanaging my money and maybe I should have chosen a better career. Finished college beyond an Associate’s Degree. WHEW!

I also USED to do this with to-do lists until my therapist helped me to see my life had changed and I could no longer do it all. In fact, I wasn’t doing it all, all of the time, perfectly anyway. He helped me to see the unhealthy burden and pressure I was placing on myself. You know, the A and B making student. The do everything just right, perfect, on time, before time may have won me points, certificates, awards, and treats in school and on the job but, with increasing responsibilities like being a mom, working and going to school or being diagnosed with a physically limiting disease, it was unnecessary. It was no longer sustainable. There was no one to impress or please. There never was except myself and God (for me). And even God doesn’t need to be impressed by me.

The internal dialogue I carried was, “I could never please my mother. So, when teachers were pleased and employers were pleased, I finally made someone happy. Going over and beyond for boyfriends or people meant someone was happy. Even if it was at my expense.” The expense of my tired body, the expense of my time, money, the expense of my mind and feelings. Match this up with a giver and empath and you have a huge mess. So, feeling the pressure of I need to do it all and do it now or I have failed after all of these years, still seeps into many things. Even my finances. Even after much work in therapy.

It’s unhealthy. It’s unrealistic. So, here I am changing my thinking about money and learning about myself. AGAIN. Yep. HERE I GROW AGAIN.

~Nikki

No Spend April: Week 2: Why?

Photo not by me

Why did I need a NO SPEND APRIL? I needed it to reign myself in from the allowed and planned splurge of my birthday month. I needed it to curb my appetite to spend when I am unhappy or the dopamine of finding unbelievable deals. I needed it to not go overboard and it flow into the rest of the year. I needed this to remind me that I have REAL goals and DREAMS and I need to continue to manage my money.

What are the rules for me? No clothes, no shoes, no purses, no jewelry, no make-up, and no beauty products. Oh and no home decor! I can go out. I can enjoy events. I can make purchases for my business.

I have not been to any thrift stores, consignment shops or places I often frequent like TJ MAXX or online for clothes. I tell you that saving those items to my cart helps! LOL By the time I get back to them they will be gone or I will have changed my mind.

I am considering extending this into May to challenge myself. The only thing I did purchase was a Cowgirl hat for the rodeo coming up. The other hats didn’t match my boots. Could I have changed my outfit? I could have. But…I didn’t want to! I was HADES bent on wearing it. I did find a nice hat for $24 bucks and decided to not spend eating out last week or go to an event. Do better, Nikki!

~Nikki

No Spend April Logs: Week 1: How It Started

Fail!

The very first week of April I went to Macy’s with my mom and spent money on something I did not need.

Let’s roll back tape. So, I knew I was going to spend quite a bit during my birthday month in March. I have no regrets about that. Okay, one regret. I could have saved that splurge that put me $80 over budget but, since it’s something I can’t return, I may as well let the regret go. I decided in March that April would be a NO SPEND month to reign me back in. I have things I need to do and things I want to do and saving money is one of those things. I also want to be able to enjoy myself while I save. But to what extent? Is that possible? Plus, it’s going to take more than a month to save what I want to save. One should always save. I didn’t go on any vacations last year. Going out of town for a conference or chaperoning my daughter and her friends were not a vacation. I do want to get away this year and I DO care where I go. I care that it is budget friendly.

Since I failed the first week, I decided that April 9-May 9 would be my month mark. I also decided that I needed to understand WHY I wanted to FAST from spending and what were the rules to this? What could I buy and not buy? What did I hope to gain or accomplish? I have not had the best of luck when it comes to saving. What do I mean by that? In the past whenever I save, something happens. It seems I can’t get to where I want to be as fast as I would like to.

I had car trouble this week. ASTRONOMICAL the cost to get my car fixed. Once again what I had saved has dwindled right before my eyes. At least, it’s almost and not completely wiped out. Maybe that’s not a bright side but a partly cloudy side?

~Nikki

Peace and Plenty Notes 1

 

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As you may or may not know, the journey I am taking this year is a journey of liberation. The actions I am taken at the age of 42 are legendary. I have linked this with an angel number and the legendary Jackie Robinson. Well, on this journey I have books to help me and one of those books is Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I want to share some of the journey with you in hopes it will help you along the way, too.

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~Nikki