This will be the last Christmas Eve my daughter is a high school student. Next year, I will have a college student instead. This holiday season has been a challenge and I think it’s because I am coming off a three year dry spell. The Christmas Spirit, as I mentioned yesterday is present, but it is a calming, subtle energy. I don’t mind it. As I am getting ready to face a possible empty nest, I am still so excited about what is come to in my life and with my own personal and spiritual goals. I hope you enjoy your Christmas Eve and have a Merry Christmas. It will be a movie night for me and hopefully the teenager will join me.
I felt it unraveling in the beginning of the week. Very little sleep with an amazing one night of sleep, pain in my joints from fluctuating weather patterns and humidity. Sore and tender muscles, knots in my muscles from fibromyalgia. A moody teenager and drama from the small family church I have returned to. I struggled to keep the eggnog nogging…but alas a toothache was the ache on top of the aches. Not even a glass of wine can fix this. I had to talk to the other “Spirit”. You know, the Holy One.
Me: I am NOT in the Christmas Spirit.
God: Doesn’t matter. You kept the Holy Spirit through it all.
Me: I swea-, uh promise because I really wanted to “loosen” my temper. Yes, loosen it. Not lose it. I really wanted to go ham and cheese and turkey. I really wanted to let depression take over. I really wanted to show them how a cow chews cabbage (something my daddy said a lady said on his job which he later found out meant curse). I wanted to be like you know what, forget it.
Me: I think the Holy Spirit might have kept me. I’m still down about all of this. And a toothache. Like really? Rheumatoid is ruining everything.
God: Not everything. You have insurance and the money to pay for it.
Me: Money I will have to put back.
Me: However, with insurance it’s about 477.00 less. But, it’s going to costs THOUSANDS TO GET AN IMPLANT.
God: I got it.
Me: Maybe my Christmas spirit will return in the morning. On Christmas Day.
God: Don’t count on it. Just do the best you can.
Me to Self: “May the Lord bless you and keep you;
25 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’