Tag: authentic self

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 12 Trouble in Self Love Paradise

FROM MY SPIRIT, Relationship Energy, Uncategorized, Woman Power Up
Photo by Jou00e3o Jesus on Pexels.com

If your heart is blocked, you may find it difficult to love yourself and if you can’t love yourself, it’s going to be difficult to love others. How do you know if your heart, heart space, heart chakra is blocked?

  • You have a hard time forgiving others or yourself
  • It’s difficult for you to move on from the past
  • You are detached from your emotions and you don’t feel compassion or love for others or yourself
  • You are overly critical of others or yourself
  • You are isolated
  • You carry hatred openly or secretly

There is also trouble in heart paradise if your heart’s energy valve is wide open. Some symptoms are:

  • You are an over giver (time, money, advice, service, etc.)
  • You have no boundaries and you cross others’ boundaries
  • You say yes to everything and to everyone at your own physical, mental, emotional expense
  • You neglect the care for your emotional needs
  • The inability to discern healthy relationships (leading to toxicity or choosing the wrong mates, letting others run over you)
  • Codependency

What Now?

Opening up the heart or adjusting the energy or emotions that flow from the heart requires a change of mind, different approach, and exercise. One thing I’d like to address is the obvious unforgiveness in the heart. Some think to forgive is to give the person they have unforgiveness towards a pass. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. How is it for you? It frees up the space in your heart that unforgiveness is living in to be filled with love.

Resentment, unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to dies- Unknown but, probably Bert Ghezzi

Meanwhile the other person has gone on with their life or is no longer on this earth.

Forgiveness is the way to open a heart that has unforgiveness. If you can’t “see” it as forgiveness then start with trying to see it as letting go first and then move into forgiveness. This will unblock your heart and you will begin to feel the weight lifted off your chest.

If you are detached from your emotions, you may want to begin by volunteering to reconnect to people. I know there are plenty of volunteers needed in your community. But if theses emotions of detachment run deep then you my friend may need counseling with a trained, certified, professional to get to the root of the trauma and healing can begin. In fact, dealing with either one of these scenarios of a closed heart or a heart that is too open, is a call to some therapy. Why do you overextend yourself? Why can’t you say no? Why do you neglect your own emotions?

Positive thinking and affirmations can help get the ball rolling in these areas and bring balance to the heart. A change of mind is the beginning of a change of life. You must think about it to begin it. Replacing negative thoughts about yourself and others with positive thoughts changes your point of view. The judgements we make or assumptions we make about others need to be questioned. Did your parents tell you that? Did your circle of friends tell you about “that” group of people? Are you basing your information from the news? None of that is fair. Even if the information is about you!

Take the time to investigate where your thoughts about yourself and others originate. When you do discover the truth and facts, be willing to accept them and to change them if necessary. Maybe you’ve been told you are stupid. That is not true. How are you still here and stupid? Investigate the source. Maybe you just don’t know some things or it takes you longer to learn or your learning style is different. Maybe you have been naive. That’s okay. Did you learn? Did you grow? That is all that matters. Positive thoughts, affirmations, help us change the narrative in our heads therefore changing the narrative of the heart!

YOGA and EXERCISE like running or walking get the heart pumping and blood flow moving. Of course, you should consult with your doctor first. Endorphins are released. Stress levels and anxiety come down and this puts your heart space in a better place to receive and to give with balance. Yoga brings balance and has specific poses that are for the heart chakra or heart center.

Prayer and Meditation is another way to balance the energy of the heart or to heal the heart. “I can’t meditate” is a statement I hear often. The very fact one makes this statement is a reason for meditation. The second thing is the language, “I CAN’T”. Change that to I can. If you daydream or drift off to nowhere, you can meditate. Sitting quietly and gazing out the window for one minute, not judging your thoughts, not getting involved in your thoughts, simply letting them come and then refocusing on breath or whatever you are gazing on is meditation. If you can do that for one minute then you have just meditated. There are too many YouTube videos and apps for meditation and even a thing called guided meditation. You can put in time and search for a 3-minute meditation.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. I don’t know your religion and I don’t care much about that. I care if you choose to tap into the power of prayer. Prayer has a calming effect. Prayer can help heal your heart, remove negative emotions, calm you down and if you LISTEN you just may receive solutions. They may not come immediately but, perhaps through dreams or some time that day, week, month. You will get your answer or instructions. Prayer helps soothe the heart. Prayer and action can change the heart.

Another thing that can help the heart space is READING a self-help book about what is creating the imbalance or negative emotions in your heart. Somebody out there has gone through what you have been through and survived. They not only survived, they healed, and they thrive.

~Love, Nikki

Woman Powered Up: The Epiphany

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized, Woman Power Up

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A few weekends ago, I did something I’ve always wanted to do. I held my first public gathering for women. A seminar? Luncheon? Empowerment? Yes, all of that, BUT so much more. My goal was for it to be non-religious, more spiritual and diverse experience. What I mean by that is you’re free to be yourself, say what you REALLY say to your girlfriends when the cameras are off and Sunday is over. The speakers were allowed to TRULY be themselves. The women were free to come as Buddhists, Christians, nonbelievers, etc. It was all inclusive.

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Harmony & Balance in Color UNPLANNED ❤ 

 

It was impressed upon me by Spirit to have the purpose to be something of an “epiphany” of the HEART, MIND, SOUL, BODY, & SPIRIT. Each speaker addressed that area with complete honesty and authenticity. One spoke on SEX and HIV. Safe sex and the high rate of HIV we have in the city of Memphis. This was the Body Epiphany.

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Tell ’em Giovanni about the power we have over our bodies! 

Next was the Soul Epiphany. This speaker spoke on the “SOUL of a WOMAN” and the Power that is embodied in that soul. It is the fuel of life! The power of the soul of the woman changes the atmosphere it is in and out changes lives.

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Power in the Soul of a WOMAN

The Heart Epiphany was about self love and the hard work it takes to TRULY love yourself. It’s important to know the difference between self care and self love. You can go to a spa for a week and come home to the same chaotic relationships, family-ships, and friendships.

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Serious Business, Reap the Rewards of Self Love 

The Spirit Epiphany…wow! Merging the traditional religion of Christianity with WHO you really are and WHAT you really believe is something that takes courage and authenticity. And this speaker has them both. She gave us a glimpse into her journey.

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A Freed Spirit! Namaste and Amen! 

 

What can you do without your mind? The Mind Epiphany was about the importance of mental health, well being, redefining the narrative, and what to do if you discover…YOU ARE THE PROBLEM?

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Mind Boss, Straight Talk and No Chaser

 

 

ALSO on deck was a very important agency in my city, Memphis, known as THE CORNER. Free testing for STDS and HIV, information, and the help for anyone who finds themselves in this situation. This organization is vital in our community and one of their representatives, Queen was a jewel of knowledge!

 

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Queen on her knowledge of facts on facts! Stats on stats!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to step out into my own. I may not have gotten the chance to do everything I wanted to do for my birthday month, but I got to do the most important thing and this was it!!!

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JUMPSUIT  on clearance from Lane Bryant $39 was $89.99

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The vendors were spectacular! I’m sure they made their vendor fees back and enjoyed the event. I can’t wait to improve this for next year. Let’s GROW!

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~Nikki

Prepared To Be Myself

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized, Woman Power Up

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Prepared to be myself and only myself. I have done the ground work in the previous years and now I am building upwards. Who I thought I was, I was not ( I discovered this when I turned 26 and had my daughter. But, that was all I did. A shocking truth, but it would take another 10  plus years to ACT upon that revelation). And that is the case for most of us living in this world. We really believe we are who we are. But, I am here to tell you unless you have taken a real journey within yourself you may be surprised to find out you are not who you think you are. You’re more than likely a product of what you have been taught and what life has shaped you to be. I am not saying all of that is bad, but I am not saying all of it is good either. How about it can be neither bad or good? It just “is”. You can take the journey by force or by choice. And even by force you still have a choice not to examine yourself and the situation. There is much more to you than you know. Much more authentic power. Much more than a body. Much more than a religion or not.

Question your actions, examine your choices in life, and ask what was my part in this situation? If you did that and answered yourself honestly, you may not like who you are  or you may discover something wonderful. It takes work to discover who you really are and for me it took Divine guidance from the one I call God or Creator. I am talking about REAL HARD WORK. UGLY, DIRTY WORK. GROUND BREAKING AND HEART BREAKING WORK. BEAUTIFUL and AWE INSPIRING WORK. HEALING AND REVEALING, REFLECTIVE WORK. STILL WORKING. It takes faith, courage, and strength. It’s why some don’t like me and why others don’t know what to think about me. HA! Prepared to be called not a real Christian by my peers and prepared to be welcomed into a circle by those who “get me.” Michelle Obama said in her book, Becoming, “You have to learn to live with the doubters. The great ones always do.”  (Something like that).

But let’s talk about this pretense. The ability to walk into a room without pretense means you are not pretending to me something or someone you are not. You are the same in the room as you were in your car, on the job, at home. You are not trying to impress anyone by being something or someone that you are not. The best impressions are made by being yourself. If not, you will have to be that other person each time you are around that group and it is exhausting. I’ll never forget the day in recent years I thought I knew someone and was developing a good friendship with them and was shocked to see another side of them once we were in close quarters with another group. I expected the bitchy behavior from the others, but not that one. I was more disappointed and honestly hurt. I got over it. If I don’t know who you are, I just don’t deal with you because I don’t have time to figure it out. So, be who you really are. If you are not a “mean girl” don’t become one in front of other women who are. If you are not a gossiper, then don’t become one in front of others. If you are any of those things, seek help soon. (hahaha).

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From the movie “Analyze That” 

I am prepared. Even with fear, anxiety, or what ever emotion moves through me, I am prepared to be me. Unapologetically, nice. Kind. Emotional. Sensitive. Chill. Weird. Artsy. Nerdy. Sexy. Spiritual. Open. Closed. Reserved. Wild. Quiet. And more. Dispensing those sides of me however and whenever I feel comfortable or necessary. I think that harmony with one’s own spirit is a merger that is sometimes out of focus. I hope to become completely in harmony with my spirit. I use to think that meant being a certain way all the time. It doesn’t. It fluctuates sometimes as you learn and are presented with situations to grow. And that, too, is okay. You can always come back to the core of who you REALLY are. You can always refocus or re-center and ground yourself.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: What is “43:The It is Well Within Tour”

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized

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The 43: It is Well Within Tour is a tour of my life, my mind, behind the scenes so to speak. In this social media error we seem to only see the finished product of things. We see the finished product of wisdom on a post. We see the arrival but, what about the journey? What about the grit and the grind or the situations that create the wisdom or the lessons? I am not talking about the polished versions either. I am talking about the moments that led up to the light bulb going off. The moment that profound wisdom is inked into your psyche. The moment light hits the darkness was it tears? Was it shame? Was it anger? Was it guilt? Was it relief?

Well, I want to take a tour of this year as if I am the tour guide and the tourist to journey into wellness within me. I am both the guide and the observer. You see the production. The beautifully wrapped package of a body that smiles (whether forced or not). But what happened that week or that day? We are on tour of the “getting to” of well being within. I hope you can take the tour with me. It’s going to be pretty honest and pretty amazing. 3/31/18-3/31/19

 

“In order to maintain peace and joy within one must take care of the things without and within.” ~Nikki

Five Things About 42 Before 43

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized

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  1. It was legendary because I stretched out my faith, moved beyond my fears, and took leaps
  2. Some wounds by those closest to you can change the dynamics of the relationship forever even after you have forgiven them
  3. Not my circus. Not my monkey. Liberation.
  4. I don’t need anyone to sign off on my relationship with God. No one gets to decide if I am a REAL CHRISTIAN. Liberation
  5. I don’t need to be believed or understood. I don’t need to explain. I am who I am. I be who I be. Liberation.

~Nikki

My 42 Journey was about Liberation and Legendary Actions

Discoveries from “My Authentic Self” Journey 2016 (2)

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized

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I LIKE BEGINNING AND ENDING MY DAY WITH A LIKE SOUL. I LIKE SPENDING MY PRECIOUS TIME WITH LIKE SOULS.

“Time is money. It is your currency on this earth. Where you spend it, how you spend it, and who you spend it with is your choice and consequence. There are no refunds.”  -Nicole Jackson

 

You don’t realize how precious your time is until you are in the presence of others that are nothing like you. You do, however,  recognize how miserable you are. True, you may not can always control the times you are around or encounter those people, but oh what joy for the times you can!  There is nothing like being comfortable at a party, at a dinner, at a get together. I don’t like a lot of bickering and arguing. I had enough of that growing up. I don’t want to spend my time defending myself, explaining myself or being ignored. I like friendly people. I like kind people. I like joyful people. I like helpful people. I like honest people. I like funny people. I don’t want to sit around and talk about other people. Or whispering about another “friend or associate” in a room. I don’t really want to talk about someone who thinks we are all associates, family, or friends. I don’t care about their hair, makeup or attire.

When I was a child, I spent time with friends. When I was a teenager, I spent time with friends. When I was a young adult, I spent time with friends. The people I hung around were not mean or low down. They were not backstabbers, liars, or cheaters. They were not mean girls or rude. We could hash out any differences and move on. I don’t know what happened to those days or those kind of people, but I do know they are still alive and well. We told each other when we were wrong and we would help mend each other. Those are my kind of relationships.

When it comes to spending my life with someone, I prefer someone with a like soul. Someone similar in core beliefs and someone who can allow me the freedom to be myself. I don’t want to wake up miserable and come home to miserable. I will not and I do not believe God would set me up in that environment. God knows my creativity, my heart, my soul could not thrive in that type of environment. I am a delicate soul, yes. I am also strong, but my dynamics are complex for many.

~Nikki

 

Discoveries From “My Authentic Self” Journey 2016

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized

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I HAVE FOUND THE POWER BEHIND MY VOICE AGAIN.

I’d lost the power behind my voice. I would say something and when someone would challenge what I said, I would try to explain. If someone would insult my intelligence I would just ignore it. When in reality I wanted to assert myself or opinion. They made me feel as if my thoughts, my opinions, my feelings were wrong and theirs were right. They were not trying to get an UNDERSTANDING of Nicole, they were trying to get a session to berate me. They were trying to have a debate about what I THOUGHT, I FELT, OR I BELIEVE.  Some wanted to tell me what I should feel and think when I had already told them what I thought and felt. They wanted to argue for the sake of arguing and not seek to understand. Many times, they wanted me to THINK as they THINK. Feel what they feel.

Let me tell you about Nicole. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you feel about politics, the Bible, gay people, cakes, pies, sports, natural hair, permed hair, tutus, etc. I don’t care enough to argue with you about it, to try and change you, to insult you. I have an understanding that you and I are two different people. We all are individuals with similarities and differences based on how we were raised, religions, race, experiences, and environments. I seek to understand your view and perspective. I don’t seek to destroy your theory, crush your heart, and tear your views a part. I get no joy or satisfaction out of being right or making you look stupid. I don’t feel empowered when I use a plethora of verbal assaults and curse words. I don’t seek to demean you, I seek to learn more about you.

The POWER in my voice to say “Look, if you want to discuss why I think the way I think, feel the way I feel, view the way I view, believe what I believe that is what we can do. If you are trying to understand me, that is awesome. I don’t need you to change me. I don’t mind being enlightened and even that is a choice of consciousness and you cannot beat it into me by belittling my religion/ideas/beliefs. You cannot change my preferences by calling me dumb or saying that’s stupid or calling me out of my name.”

The POWER TO BE QUIET is an option. The ability to discern when a person wants to argue and not discuss is sharpened. If I discover, “Oh, this is an argument to show me how stupid that sounds or how I should think like them or how I don’t make sense because they can’t comprehend it…” to say “Hey, let’s talk about something else because I am not going to change my thoughts or feelings” is POWER behind your voice. I don’t have to explain a damn thing about me. I don’t even want you to explain a damn thing about you that I don’t “get.” I’m not here to “get” everything about everybody or you. I am here to understand and when I don’t that is okay. When I don’t agree, that is okay. When I ask, trust me it will be to better understand you as a person and not to change your mind. It will be to exchange views and not to exchange profanity, put downs, rolled eyes, insults, conversion, etc.

~Nikki

 

Do Something or the Universe Will

FROM MY SPIRIT, Uncategorized

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The inevitable. You have that nudging, intuition, Holy Spirit, that pressing in your spirit to take care of something. It could be your health, it could be handling a financial matter, it could be leaving certain people alone, etc…but you resist that feeling or that unction. Well, it’s not going anywhere and I have seen/experience the Universe working to make sure certain things happen whether you do anything or not. WHEN YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT A PROBLEM OR SITUATION YOU LEAVE IT UP TO CHANCE! Then you are standing there saying…”I should have done that a long time ago. It probably wouldn’t have been as bad or negative.” Hindsight doesn’t have to be 20/20 because the Spirit is giving you the 411 with that urge to do whatever it is you need to do. I hope you and I find the courage to do those things instead of the excuses and fear.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: The Room where Wisdom is Openly Spoken

FROM MY SPIRIT, Relationship Energy, Uncategorized

 

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Yesterday I taught in a room where wisdom was openly spoken by every one. It was the greatest feeling of freedom in the world. I will share this week what I talked about, but for now I just want to bask in the afterglow of what it must feel like to be your authentic self and not bound by chains of tradition, culture, and man made rules. I taught or shared, and while all but one was mostly free to listen and not interject or impose, it was a good to my soul. It was like minded people, yet unique. Very mature and secure in their relationship with God. All, but one had no need to challenge my experience, my divine conversation with God, and the one was soon quiet. It is a mark of divine intelligence when you can let a person be and instead of challenging them on everything you think differently about,  you seek to understand!!!

I appreciated the opposition as I now know how to handle that when I get the opportunity to teach and share again. I see she is one who has not learned to listen to understand instead of listening to oppose and impose. It is all good. Nothing can take a way from that day. When I was done we sat around for 2 1/2 more hours sharing. I felt like we were connecting and filling each others backpacks for our own individual journeys. I did not feel like I was in a prison as I can sometimes feel like when I am in other spiritual or religious settings. I much rather feel like I am at school. Learning. Except for in school, you don’t get to always share freely your thoughts because you don’t want the teacher or those that idolize the teacher to be upset with you for thinking differently (ha ha ha). So you share the part of you they can handle or you just be quiet. However, not the case yesterday. I was free as the eagle I am! Yes, God…more of that please.

 

~Nikki