Protecting your peace helps to maintain self-love. You want to keep a peaceful environment as much as you can wherever you are. Yes, at home and at work. You want peaceful relationships as much as possible. Having peace in your life helps maintain self-love.
Get rid of anything and one that is toxic. I know the word is overused these days but, if it’s not good for you and to you, you don’t need it. This could be hoarding in your home. This could be a bad habit. This could the obvious, such as friendships and family-ships. Can you get rid of family? Probably not. But you can keep your distance and set those boundaries we talked about.
Cleanse your space. Clean up. Clean up your space at home and your office or desk space.
Cultivate love wherever you are. Cultivate a loving environment at home. Take love with you to work and to the grocery store. Be compassionate and kind to those you come into contact with. Be patient.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
You were born to be real, not to be perfect. -Unknown
The process of deepening the roots of self-love will not require you to be perfect. It will require you to be real. As the quote expresses, you were born to be real. Real means you are just as human as you are divine. In your human form you will always make mistakes. We have discussed forgiving yourself on this self-love journey. You’re going to need to do that often because there will be trial and error. Sometimes you will come out on top and sometimes you will not but, each time you will learn and grow. To learn and to grow is the VICTORY!
So, remember, you are real. Not perfect. No pressure.
Don’t forget to tell yourself positive things daily! You must love yourself internally to glow externally. -Hannah Bronfman
When you are feeling good about you, you glow. You glow from the inside out. We’ve talked about HOW you SPEAK to yourself. You must be mindful of self-talk and the stories you tell yourself about you. Some of the language you use comes from hurtful periods in your life. They came from home, work, relationships of all kinds, and even teachers. Even if something was said to you about you that is true and negative, you have the power to change. You have the power to transmute darkness into light!
One way to tell if something is done is to check the internal temperature. If you want that natural, authentic glow, it starts from within. Love yourself from within. Start with what you deposit into your heart, mind, and soul daily. Your positive words, yourself talk, are your cash deposit. You get out what you put in. You create an environment of manifestation good or not good. Replace the negative, the false narrative with positivity and the truth. Affirmations made daily paired with actions create a loving atmosphere for yourself. I post quotes or affirmations, any information relative to my journey on my mirror. They change with my journey.
I know you are ready for that authentic GLOW UP. Once you start really loving yourself from the inside out, it’s inevitable.
How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. -Rupi Kaur
So, how have others been loving you? It can be a scary thing to think about if the love you have received hasn’t been a true reflection of love. We are talking from the young adult perspective to the mature adult perspective. When you are a child, of course you are not responsible for how love came across to you from your family. But, from young adulthood on out, you teach others how to love you.
How others love you is a reflection of how you love yourself. What you allow others to do, get away with, tells you how you feel about yourself. When you love yourself, beyond outward rewards and self-care practices, you will not allow others to mistreat you. You will not allow others to misuse you. Yes. It happens sometimes. It happens along the journey but, remember all you have to do is to remind yourself of your power and the love you have for yourself.
I practiced telling myself, “I love me, more than I love you.” It took me awhile to believe it and it has gotten me out of some bad relationships and has helped when it came to friendships and family-ships. Yes, I made up that word. It has helped me to draw the line. It has helped me establish boundaries. I wouldn’t treat you like “that” or myself. Therefore, I cannot and will not allow you to treat me like “that”. It has helped me to grow roots to deepen my love for myself. It is very grounding. It is very centering. It helps me to get back on track. It is especially helpful in romantic relationships because it helps you not to lose yourself. It helps you to establish and maintain boundaries. In the beginning, it helped me to learn what was not good for me.
HOW do you love yourself? Really think about the ways in which you speak to yourself. The things you do to yourself. How you feed yourself. How you push away your dreams and goals. How you feel about yourself and your looks. If you don’t feel good about you, it radiates. If you feel good about you, it radiates.
Teach people how to love you by first teaching yourself how to love you!
Another thing that can help the heart space is READING a self-help book about what is creating the imbalance or negative emotions in your heart. Somebody out there has gone through what you have been through and survived. They not only survived, they healed, and they thrive. Reading to HELP yourself heal is a way to DEEPEN the self-love you have for yourself because it is a healing the wounds in which love is leaking from.
Is it childhood trauma? There is a book for that.
Is it the divorce you never got over? There is a book for that.
Amazon has a search bar and you can type in exactly what you are looking for.
I love going to Barnes and Noble and you can go to the Self Help section. You can let a book pull you in. Ok, you can be “guided” to a particular book. Ingesting what you are reading gets into your mind, your spirit, your soul and begins to help heal those wounds. I have so many books that have impacted and changed my life for the better. I encourage you, as a way to DEEPEN THE ROOTS OF SELF LOVE, to READ your way to heal the heart.
Some books that helped me in my journey:
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up-Iyanla Vanzant
Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self -Sarah Ban Breathnach
The Power-Rhonda Byrne
Inspiration- Dr. Wayne Dyer
Just to name a few but, everyone’s journey and needs are different! You have to be willing to be a participant in your own healing. You must be willing to do some searching.
Prayer and Meditation is another way to balance the energy of the heart or to heal the heart. “I can’t meditate” is a statement I hear often. The very fact one makes this statement is a reason for meditation. The second thing is the language, “I CAN’T”. Change that to I can. If you daydream or drift off to nowhere, you can meditate. Sitting quietly and gazing out the window for one minute, not judging your thoughts, not getting involved in your thoughts, simply letting them come and then refocusing on breath or whatever you are gazing on is meditation. If you can do that for one minute then you have just meditated. There are too many YouTube videos and apps for meditation and even a thing called guided meditation. You can put in time and search for a 3-minute meditation. You can try the app Calm.
Never underestimate the power of prayer. I don’t know your religion and I don’t care much about that. I care if you choose to tap into the power of prayer. Prayer has a calming effect. Prayer can help heal your heart, remove negative emotions, calm you down and if you LISTEN you just may receive solutions. They may not come immediately but, perhaps through dreams or some time that day, week, month. You will get your answer or instructions. Prayer helps soothe the heart. Prayer and action can change the heart.
This one below is good for the a morning meditation with no words.
This one below is a good morning meditation for beginners
This one below is a good morning prayer
This one below is ONE OF MY FAVORITE PERSONS THAT DOES AFFRIMATIONS AND GUIDED MEDITATION…I LOVE ME SOME HIM
Positive thinking and affirmations can help get the ball rolling in these areas and bring balance to the heart. A change of mind is the beginning of a change of life. You must think about it to begin it. Replacing negative thoughts about yourself and others with positive thoughts changes your point of view. The judgements we make or assumptions we make about others need to be questioned. Did your parents tell you that? Did your circle of friends tell you about “that” group of people? Are you basing your information from the news? None of that is fair. Even if the information is about you!
Take the time to investigate where your thoughts about yourself and others originate. When you do discover the truth and facts, be willing to accept them and to change them if necessary. Maybe you’ve been told you are stupid. That is not true. How are you still here and stupid? Investigate the source. Maybe you just don’t know some things or it takes you longer to learn or your learning style is different. Maybe you have been naive. That’s okay. Did you learn? Did you grow? That is all that matters. Positive thoughts, affirmations, help us change the narrative in our heads therefore changing the narrative of the heart!
What is mental health? Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.
Let’s lift this out of the first paragraph, “It affects how we think, feel, and act.” If your mental health is not in check, it will affect the way you think and feel about yourself. It will affect the actions you take concerning yourself. Yes, it will affect others, too, but today we are talking about you and self-love. When you don’t take care of your mental health you may not be able to see yourself through the correct lenses. You may not make the best decisions for yourself. I know from personal experiences.
Mental health challenges distort the truth. It distorts facts. When I am challenged with anxiety, I have to first realize that I am anxious. I am anxious about my current situation or the future. I have to tell myself; I can’t trust anything I am thinking and saying right now because I am feeling anxious. It’s not until I start to build the momentum to pull myself out of anxiety or depression that I can trust what I am thinking and feeling. Feelings pass. “Thoughts” can change. It is especially important to remember that when you are going through something that affects your mental health. A loss of a family member, being fired from your job, the breakup of a relationship or mental illness.
Taking care of your mental health or mental illness is pertinent to your overall health but, it also is a sign of loving yourself enough to deal with the mental issues you have. You must be brave to face the facts. You must be even braver, to take the step to talk to your doctor and to seek out a mental health professional. It’s wonderful to pray about it but, your breakthrough comes when you accept the help available to you. For the super religious, God created therapist and psychologist. There is one of your race and culture and religion. AND God loves them and approves them just as much as he loves and approves you and primary care physician. They are walking in their calling, too. They are anointed, too.
So, my love, take care of your mental health. If you want to show yourself that you love yourself, take that step. I’m with you all the way.