Peace and Plenty Notes 1

 

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As you may or may not know, the journey I am taking this year is a journey of liberation. The actions I am taken at the age of 42 are legendary. I have linked this with an angel number and the legendary Jackie Robinson. Well, on this journey I have books to help me and one of those books is Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I want to share some of the journey with you in hopes it will help you along the way, too.

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~Nikki

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings:The Power of Introspection

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It was when my daughter was born I began the journey to look deeper within myself to find out why I was the way I was at that time. The journey has progressed over the years to why I am the way I am now, how I want to be in the future, to forgiveness of self and others, to ever evolving. And so much more.

I can tell you the first step to introspection is brutal honesty, but gentle forgiveness and a course of actions to remedy the issue if there need be one. I’ve gotten my instructions from logic, books, observations of others and ultimately God who sent all the aforementioned things via the vehicle of wisdom. Brutal honesty with yourself is a practice that is  necessary if you want to get to the heart of the matter and I am not just talking about honesty about yourself, but honesty about others and the situations that have occurred in your life.

I started by addressing the things people said about me often that I refuted vehemently.

“You are wishy washy, very indecisive”

“You never smile. You’re always frowning. I thought you were mean.”

“You’re too clingy.”

“You are so sensitive.”

These are just a few. It took years to get through the layers of those those four things alone. It was the saying; “If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck it must be a duck” and “If everyone is saying the same thing to you over and over it must be true.” All four of those things I shared were true and are still true at times. I worked on being more decisive. I had to get to the underlying cause of that. It was work and it was years and I realized it was rooted in childhood and my nature. I smile so much now and I love it. I also know why all of those years I didn’t smile much. I didn’t know I had a reason to smile. I was bullied as a child and my frown was my defense! It kept many people out as I grew older. What was a fence for protection became a wall for isolation in many ways.

Being too clingy..ahhh yes, that really hurt. That was really hard work. Too many bad relationship made me want to hold on to anyone that crossed my path. It hurt to lose. It hurt to let go. I didn’t like pain. Who does? I had to learn several lessons from that:

If you hold on too tight you squeeze the life out of relationship. If you hold on to who’s hurting you, you hurt you! Trust is necessary and if it’s broken, then you have the option to leave or mend. It’s true, a person will do what they want to do because you can’t be around them 24/7 to ensure they won’t and why would you want to be? Who wants a relationship like that? Trust is essential to a successful relationship. (So much work in that area including becoming self confident and building self esteem).

You are too/so sensitive. I am. I tried for years to change that, but I realized being sensitive is how God created me. I govern my sensitivity by asking myself can I let that go? Am I taking that too personal? But I don’t question every single thing I feel. I feel deeply. I am who I am. Some people are just too rude and too mean and they want you not to be offended by it. Life.

Introspection is a lifelong  journey. The one thing I love about this journey is rarely do I have time to judge others, but I do have time to decide if I want them in my company. I find you are more understanding of others actions/ways. You recognize yourself in others or things you know they need to work out. You can deal with them or not. You can only heal yourself and aide in the healing of others. I am more whole and a healed person than I was at 25. I thank my God for that.

~Nikki

The Unfolding of Instructions

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Last year instructions for my New Year were laid out in one big dreaming session. However, this year it seems to be coming in quietly, steadily, and unfolding.  I am use to God dealing with me through many methods so I am comfortable and I think I needed it to be slow this time. I honestly can appreciate this method. I am a bit worn out from 2016 and the Excavating of My Authentic Self. I suppose when the word Liberation was dropped into my spirit, it was on time because after you excavate something it has to be freed from that which has preserved it. It needs to be a gentle process. It is fragile, yet precious and you want to keep it intact.

So I wanted to share the book that I used to help me grasp my authentic self in 2016 and the first book of instructions in my Liberation Journey 2017.

I actually purchased these two books towards the end of 2015 with no idea I would be using them in a journey. I was given the dream in 2015 on New Year’s Eve about Becoming my Authentic Self and well I had the book right in my possession to assist me. I will say it was a great help along with the Word of God (for me), messages, dreams and life experiences that seem to coordinate like a perfectly crafted course by the Creator. I thought I would use the other book last year, but I didn’t get too far into it. I think this is the book that will start off my liberation. I need to be liberated in my finances. It has been crunch time for almost three years since my illness. I have drained savings and feel the strain on my family. Yet, time is approaching where all of that is about to be over and certainly this is one area I will be liberated in. It would only seem fitting to take a totally new approach to finances and also there has been a mention of stock courses. You see, there is always a way to rebound and recover abundantly!

I don’t know what is next in this liberation course the Creator has designed for me or we have designed together at some points I am sure. I certainly would like for my lack of a love life to be liberated! (lol).

~Nikki