Dear Self and Others: You cannot save a person (from a situation) that does not want to be saved. I don’t care how many times they holler for help. You throw the rope and they won’t grab it. You jump in but, they are fighting you and you have to swim away before they take you down too. You get them to shore and they jump back in. You give them all kinds of options and instructions they still try to figure out how to drown. STILL. TRYING. TO FIGURE OUT. HOW TO DROWN.
The best thing you can do is say a prayer and get back on your yacht and keep sailing. You’ve got somewhere to go and other people that really need your help.
I don’t know if you make New Year’s Resolutions or goal’s or if you call them other things. I don’t know your religion or beliefs but, some of us go to church and we get the mandate for a new year via a Pastor or Priest. However you decide to embrace the NEW YOU this year I wish you all the best.
As you may see from my blog, I am who I am and I make no apologies but, I may make some accommodations depending on how the Spirit or Universe moves me. So, I had three dreams early New Year’s Day and in those dreams I found instructions for my NEW YEAR. I believe there is a:
1.Spiritual call made in church for a NEW YEAR. I adhere to the instructions in my church.
2. I believe there is a global call made by the Divine and the clues are from the previous year. I think globally I hear one word. REFORM. A reform on every level. Just think about the major things that have been a constant thread in 2015 and challenge globally. You can think global warming or security issues everywhere. I feel this year will begin a task of reformation. Even in the way we think about each other.
3.Then I believe there is a personal mandate. You have MARCHING ORDERS (military term for instructions basically) given directly to you by God/Divine/Universe/Spirit or created by you.
My marching orders in short were:
1.Don’t give up completely on love but, put it to the side while you focus all your energy on your dreams.
2. It is now time to use the jewels located in depths of your soul. I (God for me), hid them there for such a time as this. Put on the characteristics of navy blue and emerald green. These colors represent your instructions for your purpose.
3. I will show you how to look like a million bucks for the rest of your life. Even into old age you will not age. Taking care of your body more so with food than an exercise craze. (God knows my personal health challenges).
Thanks for reading and I hope you have your MARCHING ORDERS. Salute!
Confession: When you have been born and raised in the church, brace yourself, you get tired of church. Sometimes when you are a regular attendee of church you can get weary or just plain tired. Right there is where most people will begin a rant about God and be not weary in well doing. I said church. Not God. Not well-doing. There is a difference. As an adult child of a pastor, I still get tired or bored with the routine of church, the politics of church and I get weary of the outsiders and former insiders looking in from the outside judging the church not knowing how to separate the church from people and the Divine.
The first time this happened to me I didn’t know what it was. I could hardly put it into words but, my actions had no problem expressing how I felt. I stopped going to church. For six months I did nothing much except got a Word from a pastor on T.V., read or visited my home church from time to time. I didn’t know what I had lost. The church was excellent in Word and knowledge but, I could not get past the red tape of leadership and I could not use my gifts. In hindsight I could see that as being the problem mostly for me…not for them so much. The Word at that church changed me from a hearer to a person who could apply the wisdom of the Bible to my life. It gave me insight and understanding I can use for the rest of my life. I am a better person and woman because of it. I think it was just time for me to leave. I had gotten what I came for and I gave what was required.
After six months I found another church home. It has been about three or four years…my zeal has wavered again. It wasn’t until last week I found out it was called “zeal”. It came to me on a Sunday morning sitting in my den looking out the window. I asked over and over what is wrong with me? I can’t feel anything. The word ZEAL popped in my mind. You have lost your Zeal again. Well, who’s fault is that? And the same voice said “Ultimately, yours. You are responsible for your zeal.”. I will start the next blog next week on why you are responsible for your zeal. Note: There are many reasons we will explore about why you lose your zeal and what you can do to get it back and keep it! By the way, you can also lose a zeal for anything and I hope this series will help someone.
The Holidays can bring about depression and anxiety for single parents. I could say well, it’s not about the gifts but, what I should point out is it goes beyond the gifts as to why a single parent may experience some anxiety and depression.
A single parent may have struggled the entire year and the very thought of purchasing anything outside of the budget (or means) brings about a feeling of insufficiency. It may bring about thoughts of “If only there were two parents” and truth be told I have seen everything from a single parent sacrificing to get things (for Holidays and Birthdays) and then find themselves behind on bills, in a viscous cycle of debt to becoming extremely moody and bitter and the children begin to associate this time of the year with lack, shortage and insufficiency in the material sense. And as adults they let you know this is how they feel about the holidays and birthdays. Holidays and birthdays stunk as children therefore, they stink as adults.
When you are spending money to fill a void of not feeling like “the parent” it’s not about the children. It’s about YOU not feeling like you are enough as a parent. It may be competition with the other parent to show you can do as much as they can without them. And the truth is, I have seen single fathers on child support struggle financially and whether they admit it or not, they also become depressed or bitter during this time of the year because they too have to find extra money to buy things for their child/children. They too go into further debt during the holidays or birthdays. So there are many sides to a story.
Listen, single parents (fathers and mothers), you need to know your parenthood success is not built on gifts of the material things but are built on the gifts of love and time. It is built on the gifts of pouring into your children principals, values, morals that will last a lifetime while those toys and clothes will be a thing of the past in a week.
If you are not in the mood for the Holidays or Birthdays because of what you can’t buy then you are missing the entire point of these days. Re-evaluate the reason for the season and what it means to be thankful your child saw another birthday.
Keeping gifts and celebrations within reason creates children that are grateful when you provide extra and grateful when there is little or none because they know you love them and care for them and that is ALL that matters.
I know you are single and it’s the holidays but when you lie down tonight and count your blessings being single just might be one of them. You could have ended up in some sad relationships, some jacked up marriages and don’t lie to yourself talking about you would rather have that than to be alone…no piece of “tail” is worth a peace of mind. Some say it’s better to have a “piece of a man/woman than to be alone” but I hardly ever want a piece of anything! So don’t exchange your PEACE for a PIECE. Sleep in heavenly peace…
Saturday Morning Musings: Until you stop looking back in the PAST at your EX and what you two USE TO have, you will NEVER be able to uncover the JEWELS that God presents to you in the PRESENT. You’ll keep hurting other people. You’ll miss WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE pining away over WHO YOU USE TO HAVE. My advice: Let it burn. He or she is the past. Let there be no remnants of what use to be and let there now be new memories of what is with whomever you are with. And if you are not with anyone prepare your self to have no residue of him or her in your mind. Clean up for the NEW. Let it burn. Let it fade. Celebrate the NEXT not your EX.
In a relationship, if I give you my time and heart then that is the “much that has be given”. You are absolutely right much will be required from you. Time is precious. You cannot get time back. My heart is priceless so if I give that I expect much in return.