Be a Rock but, Don’t Become a Rock

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For those of us who are single and want love again/who pretend we don’t want love again:

In the effort to protect your heart, as you learn from your mistakes when it comes to love and depending on others, don’t become a rock. In your independence, your mantra “I don’t need a man” and “I can do it all by myself”, don’t become a rock. In your rise to the top of your field, in building your own legacy, don’t become a rock. In the event, love comes to you in the form of a man, he doesn’t want to lay next to a rock. He doesn’t want to sit across the table from a rock. He doesn’t want to have a conversation with a rock. He doesn’t mind you being a rock, he just doesn’t want you to become a rock. It’s hard to cuddle with a rock. It’s challenging to be vulnerable with a rock.

What I am saying to you is, these things we go through in life as women are designed to make us strong…like a rock. The things we learn are meant to make us wiser not meaner. The not so good choices we make are designed to teach us insight into our own being. Broken hearts give us empathy towards others. Broken promises make us weigh the promises we make before we make them and give us the power to keep the ones we make. We learn to forgive so we can heal.

Yes, be a rock. Yes, be strong. Yes, be resilient. Embody the qualities of a rock. Don’t become a rock. A rock doesn’t feel. A rock doesn’t laugh. A rock doesn’t love. A rock doesn’t feel. Don’t lose your vulnerability. It is beautiful. We just become wiser as to to whom to share it with.

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Creating Balance and Grounding

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In the last three days I have seen the ugly in radicalism as it relates to a few people whom are on the extreme end of religion and those who are on the extreme end of the “conscious” sector. It really disturbed my spirit. It literally made me nauseous. The ugly display of ego/flesh like a buffet of rotted meat. It’s such a turn off: insults, the attitude, the disrespect and dishonor of others beliefs. There are so many wise sayings and scriptures as it relates to knowledge puffing you up. It is obvious they take no interests in moving beyond facts and subjective truth into love and freedom. If you don’t have that then what are we talking about anyway? It’s perfectly fine if they want to stay there but, I don’t want to be in the same space with them if I don’t have to be.

So, being surrounded and pulled into this type of chaos, I asked God, what are you saying to me? What is it that you want me to get from this? I  know not to be like this but, what is it? Do I need to learn MORE tolerance? Do I need to remove myself? Stay? Go? What? Why am I seeing this? Why is it attaching itself to me?

I was getting ready to pray when I saw this photo above, and I read this which was beneath it:

Kashyapa Mudra – mudra for balance and protection against negative energies Kashyapa Mudra symbolizes tortoise, union of masculine and feminine and Sage Kashyapa (Hindu mythology). Like tortoise it creates a seal against negative energies. Use it when you find yourself in conflict situation or when among the group of negative people. You can hold this mudra when visiting places having dark past. Like union of masculine and feminine, this mudra helps in creating balance and grounding

Nikki, you need to create balance and grounding. I am a sensitive soul. It is a gift (I had to learn that too after many tried to tell me it was a negative thing and I also had to learn how to protect it and utilize it). I need to create balance and grounding when negative energies are circulating in the atmosphere in relation to beliefs. I will work on that. I will do just that. I am sure the Divine is ready to teach me because I am ready to learn. When the student is ready…

Saturday Morning Musing. Fixing.

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Saturday Morning Musing.
As I listen to the roofers on the roof, whom will be soon coming to my condo next, I often wonder how many times the roof blamed the rain and wind for it’s problems. Yet, the rain and the wind will never be fixed even if they did cause the problem. The roofers are fixing the roof. Sometimes it’s not your fault but, you still need fixing. -Nikki

Gratefulness. Right Where You Are

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Since I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia my life has been turned upside down. I think I am at about 180 degrees now, so I am midway from being right side up. I have not been working in the traditional sense and I had to move to cut expenses.

To be honest with you, I wasn’t crazy about where I stayed but I absolutely loved the neighborhood. I was blessed to find a place that was twice the size with a lower rent, not too far from my old neighborhood and shops but, the neighborhood I am in has it’s woes. In my condo, there are some things I don’t like. They really get to me because I am a firm believer in when you do something, anything you do it right. And when things are not done right or half done I can get physically ill every time I see it! I am a Pisces and we love to be surrounded by beauty. I won’t tell you what it is that disturbs my peace when I see it. I will reiterate that is drives me NUTS!!!! I also stay on the busy side of a street so sleeping can be a challenge as you know having RA and Fibro you already can’t get much rest.

However, in order to keep my sanity and blessings flowing I often have to remind myself how blessed I am remembering things can be 10 times worse. I also have to create some happiness and beauty where I am. I will plant a garden. I will decorate. I will get a dog. I will get some fish for my aquarium. When I look at the things that make me go UGH!!! I start to name all the things I love about this place. I love my neighbor and her son. She is my friend of over 15 years and her son and my daughter are cousins (I am an honorary aunt). We help each other out. We sit on the deck and sip cocktails and enjoy the night sky. I love the space. I love the beautiful tree outside that blooms and when the sun hits the bark it illuminates the entire space. I love my carport. I love that it is gated. I love that we look out for each other over here. I have lenient landlord and who will fix things quickly. I have two huge closets. I am down the street from my sister. The tile floor is beautiful.

Half the time when I go into the UGH mode I find it is really because I am feeling down about my circumstances or I am having a extremely tough day physically and emotionally. I say to my God, my wonderful Creator of the Universe: It is well with my soul. I trust you in this place. I can create my way out. It is not my final dwelling place and I am so very thankful for the layover on my way to my heart’s desire.

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-Nikki

 

Nikki’s #WonderWomanWednesday Affirmation

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I AM Power.
I dance to the music in my heart.
I change my mind therefore I have the power to correct my thinking to adjust my emotions and to change the direction of my course.
I refrain from judging other women’s path and decisions. I find ways to assist them instead.
I appreciate other’s differences and beauty.
I don’t need anyone’s approval to do what I came here to do.
My relationship with the Divine is mines and it is unique.
I express myself in my own way. It is my right.
I rise and I fly.
My beauty begins on the inside and radiates on the outside.

Who’s Is It? It’s Not Mines.

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Yes! You arrive home and the gift you ordered has been delivered. Oh, isn’t the wrapping simply marvelous? You hate to rip it apart so you carefully unwrap it only to find out…IT IS NOT THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER YOU DESIRED!

Certainly, there was a mistake made. You dash to your check list of must haves, must not have, maybe and you discover this “gift” does have some things on your must not have list. Must not be a liar, must not be a cheater, must not be possessive and obsessive, must not be a jerk, must not be a smoker, must not be a heavy drinker, must not resemble past mistakes etc etc etc.

Oh but, it’s so cute! Oh it’s so funny! Oh, it gives me attention and affection! It talks to me! BUT…DID YOU ORDER THAT? Who’s is it? It’s not yours. It’s not your size and I promise if you try it on it’s just going to make you look SAD! If you eat it, it’s going to make you sick! You’re allergic to cheaters and married people remember? You get broken hearts from that stuff! It’s going to make you look silly. You really don’t need another I told you so from friends and family.

Well, what are you going to do with something you didn’t order? Something that is not good for you? Something that doesn’t fit? I suggest you send it back from wherever it came from. Who’s is it? We don’t know…but he or she is not yours!!! Simply mark it return to sender…who sent it? We may never and have no need to know.

-Nikki

Birthday Celebration Game Plan

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It’s been 5 years since I was diagnosed with RA and Fibromyalgia. It has taken me almost that long to perfect birthday plans and celebrations. I recently celebrated my birthday this weekend (and plan to celebrate it the rest of the month!) and I think I have finally found the key to enduring it without wearing myself out.

I plan in advance what I want to do.

I ask my friends and family to give me a heads up if they have plans.

I put a day or two in between plans.

If it’s going to be a long night I make sure I get plenty of rest in the day or make my day light and easy. I plan to do very little or nothing the next day.

If it’s going to be a heavy day activity I plan to do nothing that evening or the next day.

I have always celebrate my birthday in grand fashion. It’s who I am. It’s what I like to do. I love being alive another year and I believe it’s a special day. You were born with your dreams and purposes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you came here on that day to bless the world with beauty, your gifts and talents, friendships, love etc. I love to celebrate the day the Universe delivered another special package to the Earth.

-Nikki