I am so hyped this morning about the promises of God for my life. I got some disappointing news yesterday evening and I didn’t know how to handle it so I didn’t say anything. I talked to God this morning and we got an understanding. I was reminded of my Marching Orders for this year and I heard a voice say: Keep your eyes on your instructions for this year. Let the winds blow around you. You feel and you hear but, do not look away from those instructions. It’s the map. It’s the blueprint of your destiny. (Yes….hears from God thinks of Jay Z…so me lol)
Trying to date people who are not over their EX is like trying to have a romantic picnic on the hottest summer day in the middle of the woods. @#$!%^ All of these flies! I can’t enjoy myself. In more polite and nicer words (because no good Christian or Saint ever curses or thinks about it): I can’t enjoy YOU for the memories and conversations about your ex/exes flying around. If they are always on your mind I know I am not.
Zeal- (noun) great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective.
When I asked God who’s fault was it that I had lost my zeal for church, I wasn’t looking to blame anyone. I was looking for an understanding of why? I was looking to see if I did something wrong or was it the church. If it was me then I felt I could correct the problem but, if it was the church, depending on my level of comfort and past experiences with trying to correct “church” I would rather not. The answer I got was ultimately I am responsible for my Zeal. I was relieved to hear that.
Whether it is worship, work, dreams or callings, your ZEAL is your fuel to the cause or objective. It is your resource to “getting” it done and doing it with joy and energy. So think of it as your job to protect your fuel. If fuel is left in the open the air will dry it out. If it is subjected to other elements such as water then your fuel can become diluted and of no real use to your vehicle. Well, spiritually speaking, your zeal is subject to the elements around you and you must protect it. Life is the element. The downs, the trials, the tribulations, the lack of time dedicated to the spiritual things in your own home can dry up your zeal. Contemplate your surroundings and environment and see if you have left the door open for your zeal to dry out.
What are we talking about here people? or doc’? or trainer? (wow, you have a trainer? No, not me…you…the reader.) You want me to exercise consistently when I have Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus or Fibromyalgia??? I can’t predict my pain so if my pain in unpredictable how can I be consistent?
Well, I have struggled with this mentally as much as I have physically. One day I am riding high and the next day I am rolling on the ground. It can be very discouraging when you desire to be consistent in your workouts or light exercises but, for reasons beyond your control you cannot. In the meantime, friends and strangers whirl around you getting on with it. If you struggle before any autoimmune illness certainly having one doesn’t make it any easier.
Well, here is a thought I had just the other day as I made some healthy choices for lunch (see delicious fruit above and I had a lean cuisine as well). I may not be as consistent in exercising because I can’t always control my body BUT, I can be consistent in what I put into my body and there folks…we have a victory!!!! This one absolute is about a made up mind (and not about a made up body) what you purchase at the grocery store and what you bring home. What you eat is more important in contributing to a healthy /healthier lifestyle than exercising alone. Yes you still must exercise! But the point of this blog is to control what you can and the one thing you can possibly me more consistent in is making better choices in what you eat. Do I always make the right choice? Of course not but, I have found some control in trying to be consistent in food choices. Whereas many of us battling autoimmune illnesses feel as though we are not in control. I hope this helps.
HOW TO DROWN IN YOUR SITUATION:
1. Do absolutely nothing
2. Say nothing. Don’t ask for help but, expect everyone to know you need help
3. Refuse help (Do you need help? No. I got it.)
4. Refuse instructions
5. Get out and jump back in. (For free: If you open up the door to what you got rid of it will be 7 times stronger and 7 times harder for you to get rid of, you might not ever get rid of it and it’s like a dog returning to its vomit (getting it out of their system) and then turning around and eating it AGAIN
6. Fight the help
How to drown was written to make us aware that we are drowning. Sometimes we don’t know we are sinking lower and lower in our situations. You need help. No man or woman is an island. Sometimes you can not do it alone. No matter how strong you are.
How to work with the enemy: At work or in life
1. Put on the whole armor of God Ephesians 6:11 so that I (you) can stand against the tricks, games, gossip, lying, foolery of the wicked. Never go to war naked.
2. Speak: Every lying tongue that rises up against Nicole (insert your name) shall be defeated
3. Know: Greater is the God in me than those who are against me in the world. So why worry about it. God takes care of our lightweight.
4. Control: Like a city without walls is a person who has no control over their spirit- Proverbs 25:28 Keep control over your emotions because when people know you are a hothead or emotional they love to push that button. Don’t give them the victory by giving them a show. Remove the button, yourself (hmm it’s break time) or mute them.
5. Let them know with intelligence you are well aware of their schemes and plots and plan to sift you like wheat and since no weapon formed against you can prosper..it won’t work. MAKE SURE you give your A game at work. Dot your i’s and cross your t’s.
6. Smile. Sip coffee. Or Tea. Or Coke.
Dear Self and Others: You cannot save a person (from a situation) that does not want to be saved. I don’t care how many times they holler for help. You throw the rope and they won’t grab it. You jump in but, they are fighting you and you have to swim away before they take you down too. You get them to shore and they jump back in. You give them all kinds of options and instructions they still try to figure out how to drown. STILL. TRYING. TO FIGURE OUT. HOW TO DROWN.
The best thing you can do is say a prayer and get back on your yacht and keep sailing. You’ve got somewhere to go and other people that really need your help.
I don’t know if you make New Year’s Resolutions or goal’s or if you call them other things. I don’t know your religion or beliefs but, some of us go to church and we get the mandate for a new year via a Pastor or Priest. However you decide to embrace the NEW YOU this year I wish you all the best.
As you may see from my blog, I am who I am and I make no apologies but, I may make some accommodations depending on how the Spirit or Universe moves me. So, I had three dreams early New Year’s Day and in those dreams I found instructions for my NEW YEAR. I believe there is a:
1.Spiritual call made in church for a NEW YEAR. I adhere to the instructions in my church.
2. I believe there is a global call made by the Divine and the clues are from the previous year. I think globally I hear one word. REFORM. A reform on every level. Just think about the major things that have been a constant thread in 2015 and challenge globally. You can think global warming or security issues everywhere. I feel this year will begin a task of reformation. Even in the way we think about each other.
3.Then I believe there is a personal mandate. You have MARCHING ORDERS (military term for instructions basically) given directly to you by God/Divine/Universe/Spirit or created by you.
My marching orders in short were:
1.Don’t give up completely on love but, put it to the side while you focus all your energy on your dreams.
2. It is now time to use the jewels located in depths of your soul. I (God for me), hid them there for such a time as this. Put on the characteristics of navy blue and emerald green. These colors represent your instructions for your purpose.
3. I will show you how to look like a million bucks for the rest of your life. Even into old age you will not age. Taking care of your body more so with food than an exercise craze. (God knows my personal health challenges).
Thanks for reading and I hope you have your MARCHING ORDERS. Salute!
Confession: When you have been born and raised in the church, brace yourself, you get tired of church. Sometimes when you are a regular attendee of church you can get weary or just plain tired. Right there is where most people will begin a rant about God and be not weary in well doing. I said church. Not God. Not well-doing. There is a difference. As an adult child of a pastor, I still get tired or bored with the routine of church, the politics of church and I get weary of the outsiders and former insiders looking in from the outside judging the church not knowing how to separate the church from people and the Divine.
The first time this happened to me I didn’t know what it was. I could hardly put it into words but, my actions had no problem expressing how I felt. I stopped going to church. For six months I did nothing much except got a Word from a pastor on T.V., read or visited my home church from time to time. I didn’t know what I had lost. The church was excellent in Word and knowledge but, I could not get past the red tape of leadership and I could not use my gifts. In hindsight I could see that as being the problem mostly for me…not for them so much. The Word at that church changed me from a hearer to a person who could apply the wisdom of the Bible to my life. It gave me insight and understanding I can use for the rest of my life. I am a better person and woman because of it. I think it was just time for me to leave. I had gotten what I came for and I gave what was required.
After six months I found another church home. It has been about three or four years…my zeal has wavered again. It wasn’t until last week I found out it was called “zeal”. It came to me on a Sunday morning sitting in my den looking out the window. I asked over and over what is wrong with me? I can’t feel anything. The word ZEAL popped in my mind. You have lost your Zeal again. Well, who’s fault is that? And the same voice said “Ultimately, yours. You are responsible for your zeal.”. I will start the next blog next week on why you are responsible for your zeal. Note: There are many reasons we will explore about why you lose your zeal and what you can do to get it back and keep it! By the way, you can also lose a zeal for anything and I hope this series will help someone.
The Holidays can bring about depression and anxiety for single parents. I could say well, it’s not about the gifts but, what I should point out is it goes beyond the gifts as to why a single parent may experience some anxiety and depression.
A single parent may have struggled the entire year and the very thought of purchasing anything outside of the budget (or means) brings about a feeling of insufficiency. It may bring about thoughts of “If only there were two parents” and truth be told I have seen everything from a single parent sacrificing to get things (for Holidays and Birthdays) and then find themselves behind on bills, in a viscous cycle of debt to becoming extremely moody and bitter and the children begin to associate this time of the year with lack, shortage and insufficiency in the material sense. And as adults they let you know this is how they feel about the holidays and birthdays. Holidays and birthdays stunk as children therefore, they stink as adults.
When you are spending money to fill a void of not feeling like “the parent” it’s not about the children. It’s about YOU not feeling like you are enough as a parent. It may be competition with the other parent to show you can do as much as they can without them. And the truth is, I have seen single fathers on child support struggle financially and whether they admit it or not, they also become depressed or bitter during this time of the year because they too have to find extra money to buy things for their child/children. They too go into further debt during the holidays or birthdays. So there are many sides to a story.
Listen, single parents (fathers and mothers), you need to know your parenthood success is not built on gifts of the material things but are built on the gifts of love and time. It is built on the gifts of pouring into your children principals, values, morals that will last a lifetime while those toys and clothes will be a thing of the past in a week.
If you are not in the mood for the Holidays or Birthdays because of what you can’t buy then you are missing the entire point of these days. Re-evaluate the reason for the season and what it means to be thankful your child saw another birthday.
Keeping gifts and celebrations within reason creates children that are grateful when you provide extra and grateful when there is little or none because they know you love them and care for them and that is ALL that matters.