Yeah yeah yeah. It’s all fun and games until you go home and your “Hi, honey. I’m home.” is an echo (Hi, honey. I’m HOME HOme Home home). I think honesty with being single is underrated. It’s not the worst thing that could happen of course! Even if you end up spending this life without a significant other or married. But I’ll be frank with you- I don’t like being single. I’m single and happy but, I’m not satisfied with my single status.
Telling the truth when asked about being single is freedom. I don’t have to pretend like I’m okay with it ALL THE TIME because God knows I’m not. It’s no secret to the Universe I don’t want to be single. Does not wanting to be single mean you can’t be happy? NO! And that’s what most people don’t get. They think if you’re not satisfied being single, you must be unhappy with your entire life.
Contraire mon frere. I’m Nikki. I’m not Single. Those two things are separate in my mind. I’m happy with Nikki. I’m not satisfied with single. But until then… I’m chillin’. I’ve had my share of relationships and I know it’s best to be happy alone than to be miserable together.
His Lips to impress meets the press
Of my lips
Getting wasted on an embrace his arms around my hips
Heart beats in Morris code It was everything I wonderfully feared
In the heat of the moment our hearts were forever seared
The best graduation gift you could give your child is the gift of letting them be what they want to be and not what you want them to be. I mean, haven’t we learned from the movies and real stories of others? The tragedy of you wanting them to be what YOU THINK they would be good at or what would be a SAFE BET to bring them financial gain or worse, what you wanted to be but never did achieve.
Take it from a victim of this. Even if it comes out of concern, you’re destroying someone’s dream. Your child’s dream. You’re creating insecurity and fear and self doubt, pushing them into a life long career that they will hate or despise the rest of their lives. Unless they wake up 20 years later and say I hate this! I’m going to Africa or I’m opening the flower shop I always wanted to open. Or worse, they’ll quit mid semester and wonder aimlessly from job to job trying to figure out what to do. Anything but what you told them not to do or be. Hopefully, they discover they should just be that!
Give your child the gift to choose their path and then give them another gift of unwavering support as they navigate the waters of adulthood. They’ll change their minds several times but don’t you waver in your support. Just guide if they get too far off course but never push them out the way and steer their ship of dreams.
Sunday Morning Musing With Coffee 🍵
P.S. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO CALL AND TELL THEM YOU WERE WRONG. THEY SHOULD BE WHAT THEY DESIRE IN THEIR HEART TO BE!
It takes you about 12 years to realize you’ve been preprogrammed by your parents, environment, religion, and society. Some of us wake up startled and angry. For others it’s a “coming to yourself” and we sit and ponder.
No, I don’t like pink. No, I don’t want to wear my hair like you wear your hair. No, I don’t want to be a teacher, doctor, work on this crazy job, anymore. No, I don’t necessarily believe someone’s going to literally burn in a pit of fire 🔥 because they didn’t believe what I was raised to believe. No, I don’t think I have to choose classical music over hip hop but, I can like them both. And as a matter of fact, I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am!!!!!
Whether you’re in your mid 30’s switching gears or early 60’s getting a divorce, it’s obvious for this final act YOU WILL NOW DO YOU. YOU WILL NOW DO AND BE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AND OTHERS CAN GET WITH IT, OR GET GONE. You’re going to say what you really think and what you really feel without being a jerk but, oh your going to stand firmly in your core beliefs. You’re not nodding your head with the masses but, in your heart yelling no! And if the teacher calls on you, you’re done giving textbook answers.
I know blue doesn’t bring out your eyes out but, you love blue!!!! I know, they think you’re crazy at this age, with all of those degrees and now you want to open up a consignment shop. They are right. You’re crazy enough to FINALLY DO YOU. Look at all of the people around you that have done what they wanted to do. They were no more special than you. They too were not all in their 20’s. They too were called nuts 🔩 and bananas. Plus, you’ve got plenty of company.
It’s high time you answer the call on the inside of you. After all, it’s not calling “them” it’s calling YOU.
~Nikki, From Saturday Morning Musings with Coffee 🍵
I am a coffee connoisseur. I don’t just drink coffee for the heck of it. It’s a ritual. Every one of us need some sort of morning routine before the busyness of the day unfolds. It gives us a sense of grounding. Coffee in the morning is a part of my “ME” time. After I open my eyes, give thanks, pray and get ready for the day, coffee and I watch the news. If it’s the weekend and I’m in my pajamas it’s usually reflection time. Hence my Saturday and Sunday Musings with coffee blogs. Coffee is a gathering of self for me. I’m always ready and willing to try different coffee from around the world and from local brewers. I’ve had geisha coffee in Panama. I’ve had Panama coffee. I’ve had coffee from Columbia in South Beach that was so strong it had me shaking after a few sips! They add a piece of chocolate 🍫 to the coffee. Anyways, it’s morning and I’m brewing a cup of my regular house brand. It’s the French Roast. I’m going to start a coffee review and information category under this blog. I’m going to call it COFFEE CONNOISSEUR.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most […]
via Helping a Suffering Partner — MakeItUltra™ Psychology
Sunday Morning Coffee Musings
I don’t know the specifics of the occasion but, I do know it’s time to rise to it. It takes strength to rise. It takes courage to rise. Think about all the muscles at work when you rise from a seated position. Think about how much more strength when you’re weak and you have to rise. Some of us will need a little more strength. Some of us may need a hand.
I myself, need the the courage to rise to the occasion in my life. It’s time for me to be brave. I must confess, I’m not feeling very brave. I’m a little timid about rising to my call in my life. That’s my occasion. Why are you afraid Nikki? Well, I’m afraid I might do the wrong thing. I’m afraid I might mess it up. I’m afraid I might not do it the way others think I should and they will talk about me. It’s not just fear. It’s a paralyzing fear stemming from childhood.
So here we are. Some searching for strength and others for courage. Perhaps, both. We don’t have to search too far because it’s already in us. What we need is a made up mind to rise… No matter the outcome. What we need is knowing that it will all work out and we will learn along the way and this will help us to build more strength and courage to keep going forward. We can’t be afraid of trial and error. We can’t be ashamed if we make a mistake. We’ve been taught these things are bad things. All of our mistakes and failures in school, in life, on the job, by family friends and strangers are often HIGHLIGHTED. Don’t we do the same to others?
Sigh. Yet, it’s still time. The occasion is knocking gently at your door. Patiently, waiting on you to gather the strength and the courage to rise.
Saturday Morning Coffee Musings
IN RELATION TO YOUR DREAMS, WHEN PEOPLE SAY YOU’RE CRAZY, THEY ARE SAYING YOUR DREAMS ARE BEYOND THEIR SCOPE OF POSSIBILITY, REALITY AND IMAGINATION. -NICOLE JACKSON
Yesterday, I talked to a publisher for one of my clients. He told me how it took him 3 years to leave HIS JOB as a top guy with 700 employees under him. He said people kept telling him MAN YOU’RE CRAZY. Then he said plus I was mid age. Then I just couldn’t fight it anymore and here I am. Sometimes, I pinch myself and can’t believe I’m living my dream.
Me: Usually when they say YOU’RE CRAZY, in relation to your dreams, it’s a sure thing you’re on the right path.
Him: I can see that!
Me: Yeah, just think of all the people with a success story, even in the Bible, (he’s Christian), who were told THAT’S CRAZY and things worked out.
Him: Right! It’s been 9 years. An unbelievable 9 years.
Me: YOU’RE CRAZY means it’s outside their scope of reality, possibility & imagination. That’s all.
Him: WOW. Are you in ministry?
Me: Something like that.
Temperamental much? You bet!!!! We don’t know if it’s the medication or the pain so “STAND DOWN” is what we are yelling in the inside to those around us that’s adding to the irritation or in our heads they are adding to it. I mean that’s only for you to determine.
It doesn’t matter if it’s that dull nagging pain in that one area that’s been going on all day or all week. It doesn’t matter if it’s a full fledge flare and it’s going from your hand to hip. It doesn’t matter if suddenly you snap and yell “I’M TIRED OF HURTING ALL THE —- TIME!!!!! You’re in the DR Jekyll and Mr. Hyde phase. It can sneak up on you when you’re trying to open up a container with a plastic top or you see someone jogging and you remember when you use to be able to do that. The MOOD suddenly swings and there you go. Hey, who pushed me???
What’s that noise?!!!!! Who’s running the water? Who left the light on? Are you getting smart with me? What are you looking at? And honestly, nothing more than a normal day and normal sounds and normal children/ teenagers or a spouse doing what they always do. It’s just 10 times as irritating because you’re in pain or your in reflection of the illness.
Here are my tips:
1. Hey, I’m in pain. (Well yeah, (they say), you’re in pain everyday). Here’s where you have to break it down to them I’m having a flare a high grade one or a low grade one (the nagging dull pain). So, could you keep the noise down or lose the attitude until further notice???
2. Retreat. Go to your room. Close the door. Turn the light off. I literally just did this and I’m typing this blog on my phone. My daughter seemed to get the picture right away.
3. If you have time off use it or see if you can come in later. (Honestly, I don’t know people that have this kind of job where they can come in later. But, if u do, do that!)
4. If you have a friend or relative that lives alone, and they have an extra room, run away to their home for a day or night. Tell them you just want peace ✌ and quiet.
5. Or, if I felt like getting up, I’d show u my sign for my door. It reads as follows: Flare. Enter at your own risk.
6. Find a quiet place outside, a walk if you can, the porch or patio and have your moment if you’re just feeling emotional about the changes your illness has put you through.
7. Many times I think of all the things I can do or still can do. That lifts your spirit.
8. I know it’s corny to some but, give thanks. Place to stay? Food to eat? Clothes to wear? People that care and love you? People that put up with your madness? In pain but can you see? Talk? Read? Walk? Taste good food?
So, as I lie here tonight in “I’m BATMAN” braces (they look like batman’s gloves. You know like I should be able to call for the bat car on my arm) for carpal tunnel syndrome, I hope your mood swing subsides… And mines too. I shouldn’t be typing but, I had to get this out! Free therapy!
The bird cage is open…SET YOURSELF FREE. I know you’ve been locked up in the cage of self pity, hatred, self loathing, sadness, depression, people pleasing, fix everything and everybody, debt, dead end job, fake/bad relationship, fear, etc etc….The door to the cage was never locked! It’s a mind game. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even sing anymore. SET YOURSELF FREE. You don’t even fly anymore. But just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t. Choose to SING Choose to FLY.