The Cool Kids

 

lonely-child

In Elementary, Junior High/Middle School, and High School there were times you were included in circles and excluded. You would think there would be no surprise when you find yourself outside of a group of friends or associates. But, sometimes you are indeed a bit surprised.

Before you begin to make assumptions take a look at the circumstances surrounding the situation. Maybe it was talked about and planned when you were not there. Maybe they honestly forgot to mention it to you. Maybe they thought someone else in the group let you know. Maybe you were too busy. Maybe you forgot.

However, there are times when you will be purposely excluded. You are not in High School and this is adulthood. They don’t always want to hang with you and you must be mature enough to handle this by knowing it’s perfectly okay. It’s not to be taken personal. However, sometimes exclusion IS a signal to you about where you stand with this group or associates. Take note.

You know my daughter had this situation among two friends of hers. One of her friends would get jealous if her best friend spent time with another friend. I laughed a little because I remember those days. I told her well, this is something that doesn’t change much among many women as they get older. It is because they are afraid of losing that special bond with a friend. It’s a bit selfish but, I can understand those feelings. She has to learn that it is okay to share friendships and most of the time it takes nothing away from the friendship you have with that person. As a matter of fact, you can actually lose some friends by being too possessive. If she is this way with a friend she will be this way with a boyfriend and it’s not healthy (of course boyfriends shouldn’t be shared!). I explained all of this to my daughter.

I started my early years as mostly a loner with other loners. Then I associated with a main group of friends in middle school but, had other associations. Once I reached high school I kept a core group but expanded into other associations. I have learned to be PRESENT when I am included and NOT PRESENT when I am excluded (lol). I don’t take it personal. At least, not anymore.

 

 

Advertisements

Champion Your Thoughts

 

muhammad-ali-quote-views-world

Muhammad Ali was a champion in many ways but, what made him a champion in those ways was his ability to champion his thoughts.

As I reflect on my life I look at the ways I use self defeating thoughts verses champion thoughts. Many of us have been preprogrammed with thoughts or conditioned to think certain thoughts through experiences. Either good or negative, we think. If I’m to be honest, my thought process didn’t begin to change until I was 30 (however, I woke up so to speak at 26)  and here we have it 11 years later, finally taking root and blooming.

Champion thoughts requires hard, grueling, relentless and challenging work. Long hours at the spiritual gym within and a spiritual diet fit for a champion. You can’t eat (listen to, digest) anything that’s put on your plate. You will suffer some defeats, barely make rounds, but you will begin to win more than you lose when you learn to never change your champion mentality. But, you need only to adjust your approach, strategy, study your opposition and hit the spiritual gym more. Reflect.

A champion doesn’t become a champion by building the body only. Many men have lost relying on brute force alone. Many have lost the fight in this life with brute force alone. Champion thoughts help you get through the toughest times in your life. I look at Muhammad Ali and even though his body was attacked by Parkinson’s and  it silenced him physically, HE WAS STILL SEEN AS THE CHAMP. Champion thoughts  have no need be verbalized all the time. Champion thoughts don’t care about your pain, wins, losses or draw.  Champion have a need to be lived. May we live out our lives from here on out with champion thoughts. May we not see the world as we have in our twenties but, as the champions we are. Are you not still standing? Raise your arms up high, fist to the sky, Champion.

~Nikki

Fashion Confetti 6/5/16

Picsart2016-05-6--14-09-19

 

Today I wanted to share some Fashion Confetti. I did a heel change at the last minute and went for the gold Nine Wests. The nude shoes are by Tahari. The dress by London Times and the purse is a vegan leather purse by Alyssa. Nothing you see here was purchased at full price. I’m always looking for bargains, clearance and outlets. Also, I love to thrift and consign. The purse and the nude shoes are from TJMAXX. I’ve had the dress and gold shoes so long I can’t remember where I purchased them!

~Nikki

Fashion Confetti

Bad Energy Family Members. Bingo! You’re It!

The Truth Shall Set You Free - Everyday Gyaan

Let’s cut to the chase. Maybe you don’t know YOU are the bad energy toting family member. Here are clues and what your energy does to others who don’t know how, don’t have the heart or guts to confront you.

Certain family members no longer show up or limit their time in your space because they can’t deal with your behavior
You’ve been asked several times to tone it down but you don’t because you don’t see anything wrong
You can’t wait to get a rise out of a particular family member. Even though they’ve told you to stop
You feel good when you make other people upset or you think nothing about it
You refuse to apologize for embarrassing family members
Family members cringe at your off colored, off putting remarks and you go “What?”
You get offended and defensive when confronted about your behavior
Deep down inside you know you have a problem and your behavior is a problem but you don’t have the courage to admit it and tackle the real issues behind your mean spirit
You say “So what. Others are too sensitive. Lighten up!”

Your behavior:
Affects the mood of every family event
Makes others feel demeaned in an environment they should feel uplifted
Makes others feel constricted because they have to avoid you at all cost
Makes others feel attacked when they should feel love
Makes others ill when you arrive
Makes others feel rushed because they know they can’t stay long and enjoy other family because they can’t take your bad energy

Figure out what the real problem is in your private life. Take a good look in the mirror at what you do and what you say and ask yourself why can’t you stop doing the things that cause harm and rifts in the family? Rather it’s a coming to Jesus, Self or Therapist moment, I hope you build up the nerve to come. As you are.

~Nikki

Stillness in the Storm _ The Truth will set you Free.jpg

Lesson. By Nikki

 

e8ae9ab9b5e9fb133a7acad64e27a4fc

Lesson. By Nikki aka F.Y.E ©2014
Bury your heart deep in me
I will keep it safe with me
She may have loved you
But she never loved you
She was thinking of him
Never thinking of you
I can’t pay for another woman’s
Mistake
I can’t pay for your pain
But if the student is ready
I can teach you how to love
Again

 

~Nikki

Cinnamon & Nutmeg Spiced Coffee

WP_20160530_001

Obviously I just fell off the turnip truck 🚚 (a reference to ignorance). I never thought of adding cinnamon and nutmeg to my coffee 🍵 Until I discovered Spice Island drip coffee at the local shop Bedrock Market and Café on S.Main in Memphis,TN.

So, being the nerd I am, I looked up Island Spice and found the Saigon Cinnamon and Nutmeg. But, oh, my mind started to churn… What other spices could I sprinkle into my coffee? Mixes and matches which I prefer to call concoctions.

Well today I decided to just roll with cinnamon but, I’m looking into some other ideas I’ll share with you (Coffee) POT HEADS soon.

~Nikki