Can’t go backwards? Can’t go forward? Stuck in the middle or paralyzed by fear? Prayer and meditation. One step at a time. Guided footsteps. Flexibility. Be still in mind but active in body(walk, move, music, clean, art, go, etc) and conscious thinking (aware of your thoughts, changing your thoughts, making decisions). The way out will come to you. What to do will come to you. -Nikki
I didn’t see in the Bible where worry, anxiety, having cares is listed as a sin. I don’t know if in your religion, if it differs from mines, if it is listed as a sin or not. I do know in most Christian cultures, or so I have heard it preached it is a sin to worry. You know “You are doubting God if you worry because you don’t believe he can do xyz or you don’t trust god enough this is why it’s a sin to worry.” So on top of your worry/anxiety/depression you are now doubting God and you have trust issues. Great. That helps. However, I don’t see it or it doesn’t read to me as a sin but, it does register to me as not a good thing.
This morning I didn’t go to church as last night I began to feel anxious about going to church. I have not quite figured out where the root of those thoughts or even began to process those thoughts. This morning I simply asked God a loaded question/statement, an offering of thoughts so to speak: “Is being anxious a sin? If so, I certainly don’t see scripture list it as a sin and what about those who suffer from anxiety? I do see plenty of scripture on how to deal with anxiety. I see some don’t worry and don’t be anxious is that a command or is that comfort? Even when I see “be anxious for nothing” or “do not worry” it still doesn’t say it’s a sin. Because in the mind of an anxious person they have to feel more guilt about now sinning. Has the church ever thought about that? I guess not because many don’t acknowledge anxiety or depression as a real illness. Everything not understood or involving science can possibly be evil.” Whew.
Did I get an answer? Yes. It is not a sin to worry. It is not a sin to be anxious. It is not a sin to be depressed. BUT, it is not good because it can lead to what one may call sin but not only that, it can lead to bigger issues: mentally, emotionally, physically, even death i.e heart attacks and strokes, cancers and illnesses/dis-eases. It can affect friendships and relationships. It can affect your job and hinder your progress. Impede your destiny. Even parenting! Etc. (yes, I believe the mind is connected to emotions, connected to the body).
Gee whiz God! I am just glad it’s not a sin so I don’t have to feel guilty. That is enough right there to set some free and allow them to get help. I was recently told by my doctor it seems as if I am experiencing some anxiety, possibly anxiety and panic attacks. I had no idea what was going on. So I am new to it all and as always I am a seeker of knowledge to gain an understanding.
There wouldn’t be so many scriptures combating worry/anxiety or depression if God didn’t know we were all different and some of us would experience these things in life. I also said to God this morning “How can I cast my cares if I don’t know what my cares are?” You see, anxiety or depression may not always have a source at the moment. It may not always have a reason you can put your finger on right away. God’s answer to me was “You don’t need to know because I already know.” And that, eased my mind.
This is my blog. These are my thoughts. You have a blog. You express your thoughts. Thank You. Love you.
Yesterday morning I was in Nashville, TN with my family. I am usually up before everyone and I went down to the lobby at Homes 2 Suites to watch and read the news and to have my morning cup of Joe (the gourmet coffee there is really good). I sat down on the side where there were people on their laptops and there was a long table with comfy seating. I adjusted the bright orange throw pillow behind my back for because my lower back was aching a little. I wanted to steal a few moments before my niece, nephews and daughter woke up.
About 15 minutes later it began to get busy as people were coming for breakfast but, not much noise just good mornings and nods. A young white couple (whom I soon would learn were from Kentucky), sat down at the other end of the table. When the boyfriend chose the table, she wasn’t sure. I said “It’s okay you two can sit here” as I smiled. I think she was thinking “Hon, there are other tables for two and this woman is probably trying to enjoy some alone time.” We began to chat. The next thing you know we began to laugh at some of the things we were talking about. At one point we both were crying laughing. She talked about a concert they went to and shared videos of the band. Not once did she assume because I was black I wouldn’t be interested. I loved that. All three of us talked about farming and grandparents, places to eat good barbecue, sweet tea (in the south, a restaurant that has good food and sweet tea is alright in our book!), and we talked about strawberry lemonade. We talked about much more but, soon it was time for them to finish packing and head out. We bid farewell and safe travels.
In a matter of minutes is the reminder that we are human beings first. We are sharing this space. We are sharing our lives, experiences, and even memories. We are creating moments. We all have something that can connect us. It’s so superficial to base it all on skin color, culture, and gender. In relation to God or whomever/whatever you believe (in), what if the one of the biggest challenges is can we coexist? Can we share our table?
It gets a little rough sometimes and sometimes too often but you are strong enough to live this life. Stay in this EARTH SCHOOL and grow and learn and play big and do all that you came here to do and shine and love!!!!!!
I know I had plans for my life at a very young age. Some people at a young age were dealt a blow that would change their course very early and some seem to have set their goals and achieved without much hindrance. We should have enough common sense to realize and comprehend that we all start our journey from different points with many things to factor in from the supporting parent to the non supportive parent. From a prestige education to surviving an environment where a parent didn’t care if you made it through school or not. It’s clear to me how these things and many more things affect each one of us differently. This blog is for those of us whom have had a series of unfortunate events.
Overcoming a series of unfortunate events in your life is not an easy feat. I have learned not to expect it to be. I can’t tell you why some are born and seem to have things knock them down back to back to back with barely enough room to catch a breath. I can only offer my philosophy like anyone else. I do recommend taking a philosophy that helps you to become stronger and to persevere verses one that teaches you to blame yourself without forgiving yourself. I can tell you what I did that probably brought Rheumatoid Arthritis out of remission but, I can’t tell you for sure why I developed Juvenile Arthritis in the fourth grade. I could say it was my lot in life. I could blame myself for the Rheumatoid but, that would only keep me in a state of stagnation. You could blame yourself, God or others for what happened to you or where you are but, that will only keep you in a state of stagnation. In other words, you won’t move or progress. Even if you manage to achieve great things in the realm of education and career, you will still be stagnant emotionally/mentally destroying relationships and self carrying anger or resentment.
During unfortunate events in my life, here is what I have learned so far in no order:
Cry. Don’t cry. Be upset. Be angry. Yes, feel and then make a deliberate decision to take the necessary steps to heal.
Do I need to know why? Yes. I find my why. I decide to acknowledge it. Learn from it. Sometimes I feel bad about it but, I move on into a productive action. Sometimes swiftly, sometimes eventually. If I am stuck I seek help. From God, friends, therapy, meditation, a book on what I am going through, etc.
Do I need to know why? No. Just keeping going I tell myself. The why will come later or it may never come. I still must keep going.
It just is. Deal with it now or later but, you must deal with it.
Do I know better? Then I must do better.
Helping others go through what I have experienced makes me feel good.
Survive the ordeal first then thrive.
Baby steps can turn into a brisk walk then a jog, then a run and then leaps and bound and now you are flying!!! This is thriving!
Dang, I’ve been through so much. I am still here. I am strong.
I don’t have to be strong all the time.
To love myself and to love others after what I’ve been through, going through is what being strong really is about. Bitterness makes me ugly. It makes me vulnerable to hate. I can hate what happened but, I can’t let hate reside in me.
Eat, Love, Pray, Meditate, Create.
Pain is energy. Energy can be transformed.
Let go. If it’s negative, bad for you.
Hold on. To yourself. To your children. To God. To Peace. To laughter.
Healing hurts. But letting a wound go unhealed hurts worse and could kill you dead (ha).
Some unfortunate events can lead you to a fortunate journey.
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Oh. My. Coffee Beans! The Community Coffee’s Brazil Santos Bourbon is as smooth as a good Bourbon and as flavorful, without being overpowering. When you pour it in your cup it’s the color of a good bourbon. Rich to the eyes. True to its medium dark roast with a bittersweet aftertaste. You know, like the bittersweet aftertaste you get from a dark chocolate. More of a semisweet than bittersweet in my opinion once you add your creamer and honey/sugar. (I always let you know I add 2 tsp of creamer and 1 tsp or 1 tbsp of honey). Yes you can smell the aroma when you open the package and it does slightly fill the kitchen with a light and airy smell. A hint of bourbon waffling through the house….ahhhh yes lol!
5 cups for flavor (bourbon)
5 cups for taste
6.49-8.99 a bag and worth it. 5 cups for price
Side Note: Chocolate and bourbon together is something you should try. Oh and the coffee was about this color when I poured it in my cup.
People ask me all the time why do you like going to Las Vegas so much? Well, it’s not because I am a gambler (you know most people think that’s all there is to do in Vegas) but, it’s because I never get to do all that I want to do in Vegas! So, I have to go back. It’s the shopping, the entertainment, and the food. It’s the exhibits, the touring in and around Vegas such as the Grand Canyon, Red Rock Canyon, the Hoover Damn, etc) the ride over to California and so on. While there is never a dull moment day or night, Vegas is very chill in the day time and comes alive at night. I go back to find my favorite bartender and meet new people. I love to dance and party all night long. It’s a good time that lasts until the wee hours of morning. It’s true, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.