For those of us who are single and want love again/who pretend we don’t want love again:
In the effort to protect your heart, as you learn from your mistakes when it comes to love and depending on others, don’t become a rock. In your independence, your mantra “I don’t need a man” and “I can do it all by myself”, don’t become a rock. In your rise to the top of your field, in building your own legacy, don’t become a rock. In the event, love comes to you in the form of a man, he doesn’t want to lay next to a rock. He doesn’t want to sit across the table from a rock. He doesn’t want to have a conversation with a rock. He doesn’t mind you being a rock, he just doesn’t want you to become a rock. It’s hard to cuddle with a rock. It’s challenging to be vulnerable with a rock.
What I am saying to you is, these things we go through in life as women are designed to make us strong…like a rock. The things we learn are meant to make us wiser not meaner. The not so good choices we make are designed to teach us insight into our own being. Broken hearts give us empathy towards others. Broken promises make us weigh the promises we make before we make them and give us the power to keep the ones we make. We learn to forgive so we can heal.
Yes, be a rock. Yes, be strong. Yes, be resilient. Embody the qualities of a rock. Don’t become a rock. A rock doesn’t feel. A rock doesn’t laugh. A rock doesn’t love. A rock doesn’t feel. Don’t lose your vulnerability. It is beautiful. We just become wiser as to to whom to share it with.
Since I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia my life has been turned upside down. I think I am at about 180 degrees now, so I am midway from being right side up. I have not been working in the traditional sense and I had to move to cut expenses.
To be honest with you, I wasn’t crazy about where I stayed but I absolutely loved the neighborhood. I was blessed to find a place that was twice the size with a lower rent, not too far from my old neighborhood and shops but, the neighborhood I am in has it’s woes. In my condo, there are some things I don’t like. They really get to me because I am a firm believer in when you do something, anything you do it right. And when things are not done right or half done I can get physically ill every time I see it! I am a Pisces and we love to be surrounded by beauty. I won’t tell you what it is that disturbs my peace when I see it. I will reiterate that is drives me NUTS!!!! I also stay on the busy side of a street so sleeping can be a challenge as you know having RA and Fibro you already can’t get much rest.
However, in order to keep my sanity and blessings flowing I often have to remind myself how blessed I am remembering things can be 10 times worse. I also have to create some happiness and beauty where I am. I will plant a garden. I will decorate. I will get a dog. I will get some fish for my aquarium. When I look at the things that make me go UGH!!! I start to name all the things I love about this place. I love my neighbor and her son. She is my friend of over 15 years and her son and my daughter are cousins (I am an honorary aunt). We help each other out. We sit on the deck and sip cocktails and enjoy the night sky. I love the space. I love the beautiful tree outside that blooms and when the sun hits the bark it illuminates the entire space. I love my carport. I love that it is gated. I love that we look out for each other over here. I have lenient landlord and who will fix things quickly. I have two huge closets. I am down the street from my sister. The tile floor is beautiful.
Half the time when I go into the UGH mode I find it is really because I am feeling down about my circumstances or I am having a extremely tough day physically and emotionally. I say to my God, my wonderful Creator of the Universe: It is well with my soul. I trust you in this place. I can create my way out. It is not my final dwelling place and I am so very thankful for the layover on my way to my heart’s desire.
I AM Power.
I dance to the music in my heart.
I change my mind therefore I have the power to correct my thinking to adjust my emotions and to change the direction of my course.
I refrain from judging other women’s path and decisions. I find ways to assist them instead.
I appreciate other’s differences and beauty.
I don’t need anyone’s approval to do what I came here to do.
My relationship with the Divine is mines and it is unique.
I express myself in my own way. It is my right.
I rise and I fly.
My beauty begins on the inside and radiates on the outside.