Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: BIG August Energy

August brings to the table a 5 energy and a 14 energy. Whether you believe it or not energy exists. You can walk into a room a couple was arguing in and “feel” the tension. Tension, just like happiness, carries energy. You are made up of energy.

If you take heed of last month’s energy, you will be prepared. If not, you will have to get prepared as you go. You will need to ground yourself often this month because there is not much structure to the 5 energy. It likes its freedom. It does not want to be nailed down. It can be unpredictable. So, you may have your own plans and God will have plans. Life will have plans. People that you are working with will have plans. All of these plans will work out but, there will seemingly be so many hiccups big and small. BUT BY ALL MEANS…PLAN!

It will all work out if you remember to ground yourself and breathe. And pray. And meditate. And go for a long walk. Whatever it is you do to HELP you to think of solutions. If you are getting your rest and doing some of these things regularly, you will be able think quickly on your feet. After big episodes or back-to-back episodes of annoyances, TAKE SOME TIME to unplug and enjoy yourself. Go to your hobby. Take a weekend getaway or staycation. This is grounding.

This is a good time for adventure and socializing. Get outside of your comfort zone. Change is good. But make sure it’s CALCULATED. Do something different. Try a different Starbucks refresher. Try a new exercise routine. Change may come quickly and catch you off guard. You will have to adapt.

The five energy is very, very RESOURCEFUL. This will help you as unexpected change comes and plans go awry.

Take a look at your goals from the beginning of the year. Where do you stand? What can you do, what needs to change, and what has to be let go of?

The 5 energy comes with a warning. It can be excessive and addictive. This is why I suggest grounding often. Unplugging often. Getting rest. Making sure you have your plans for the day, week, or for a project mapped out. It’s your guide and remain flexible to the unexpected. You don’t want to drown your sorrows, frustrations, etc. in drugs, alcohol, sex, TV, books, the gym, or get lost in a hobby. You may question some of those things such as books or the gym but too much of anything will keep you from facing your problems, solving them, and moving on even if it seems to have a benefit. I can’t game all day, all week, all month because what about my real-life goals? Balance my loves. Balance.

Plus, this is promotion energy. This relocation energy. This is turn up on your dreams and goals. “The strong will survive and the wise will thrive. Therefore, be strong and wise.”- Nicole Jackson

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Thoughts on The Mean Christians of The Collective Church

Most of us saw the clip of a well-known controversial gospel singer saying some unkind things in a bazaar rambling floating around on social media. The court of public opinion was held and boy, were there ever so many opinions and spin off topics. I just want to say in my opinion, she was wrong. It wasn’t a good look for her and just like many organizations those that are associated with an organization get lumped into one person’s pot of mess.

Here’s something I think we need to remember; we are all responsible for our OWN journey in this life whatever your beliefs are. She is not a reflection of ALL Christians no more than if a non-Christian man sleeps around. That man is not a reflection of ALL men. I know we have been conditioned to think the opposite. You can’t even say the majority of a certain group is this, that, or the other unless you have statistics and even that can be up for debate. Just like you and me, ultimately, she is responsible for her own behavior and relationship with the Creator. The way we form opinions of certain groups based on religion, race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, and even age is often based on STEREOTYPICAL thinking and misinformation.

Now, there are people saying that she, people like her, is the reason why they don’t go to church. Facts: there are mean Christians in church. They are usually pretty mean on the job and in families. There are mean Christians in church that hold positions and continue to be mean and continue to hold these positions. Who’s responsible for that? Leadership and that particular organization. I have found the person is usually related to someone higher up, a friend, a longtime member, an elder, they were promised that position, and they give big bucks or their family has been at that church a looooooooooong time. All pretty lame excuses for continuous abuse of power and authority.

Mean people exist that are not Christians at all. Why do you think Christians are held to a higher standard or the Church is held to a higher standard than the world? Why would they not be? James 3:1-2 states

My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.

You may be thinking, because you have been taught James is talking about teachers and preachers. Leaders. But in deeper reflection, a Christian is a teacher to the world. The Church as a collective is a leader and teacher in this world. We receive stricter judgement. AND WE ALL STUMBLE IN WORD. And when he says perfect, he means MATURE. Stricter judgement comes with the territory.

In honesty, throughout history the church has been pretty “judgy” about the world and non-Christians. We’ve been heavy on YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL and light on HOW CAN I HELP YOU personally. I know the church has been a pillar in communities and historically black churches have been a place of refuge for the black community. I know the church feeds, clothes, and houses those in need. As they should if they are financially able to and if not provide resources that can help. I think when you sow seeds of “we are better than you” or “something is wrong with you”, we get some harvest in return. We shouldn’t expect grace and mercy from others and yet we cannot only give it to those in position and authority either. Maybe our slogan should be, “Welcome to church where we are all imperfect people serving a perfect God. Here we learn and grow together so that we may better serve our communities and humanity.”

Now, why can’t people get over CHURCH HURT or find another church? I find it unsettling that we can be so dismissive of people’s feelings. Let your significant other, child, parent, or friend be dismissive of yours and all hell breaks loose. I am really glad Jesus wasn’t. Probably, because he didn’t lump all experiences into one. You don’t know what hurt they experienced, first of all to tell them to GET OVER IT. Secondly, what’s nothing to you may be something to them. Thirdly, you probably don’t have the wisdom to look deeper into the pain and examine where it may be coming from. It could be coming their past. Or how about you examine where they are in their walk in Christ. What level are they on? Fourth, he or she who lacks wisdom, let him ask. Fifth, he or she that leads a congregation or may be responsible for counseling souls need to take some courses in counseling or read numerous books on counseling. Sixth, he or she that leads needs to know when their counseling skills are limited and the person needs professional help.

I think habitually mean Christians need deliverance and counseling. I think habitually mean people in general need the same thing. We are possibly all mean at some point and time throughout our lives. But, to do and say mean or nasty things, to exhibit that behavior without care and regularly, let’s me know there within lies a deeper issue that needs to be addressed.

~Nikki

PS These are MY thoughts, opinions, and observations. I present them as so and not hard facts.

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: How Many Delays but Not Denials?

I mean seriously. How many delays in life can one girl have? I know delays are not denials but, it sure seems like it lately. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit but, I am feeling some frustration about not being able to do EVERYTHING I want to do right now! Yes…whining a bit. However, I know that I must prioritize and sometimes, like this time, sacrifices must be made. Sacrifice never feels good.

So, what can I do to ease the frustration?

  • I can do what I can and not fret about what I cannot do
  • I can find free things to do around the city
  • I can create things to do with family and friends that are cost efficient
  • I can spend time organizing my home
  • I have plenty of crochet work to catch up on
  • I can try new recipes
  • I can spend in nature or on my porch with a cup of coffee or a cocktail
  • I have a book to read for a book club
  • I can start writing my third novel

So, there is much to do. Although, it may not be the other things I want to do, I can still occupy my time and enjoy it. Also, there will come a time, because of the financial sacrifices I am making, I will be able to enjoy the things I want to do, when I want to do them.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Hello July and June’s Life Lessons for Nikki

It’s JULY and I am not going to say “ALREADY” because I am working on enjoying EACH day and EACH month and not focusing on “time slipping away”. Immerse yourself in the day and month and it won’t seem to be slipping away and moving fast. Just a thought.

So, June was what it was suppose to be for me. The energy it gave was the energy I tapped into and at times wrestled with.

June’s Lessons

  • Don’t let other’s negativity influence you in any way!
  • Get ahold of your finances!
  • God’s perception of me is never clouded even if my perception of myself is clouded and other’s perception of me is clouded
  • When I don’t know how I feel about myself I need to ALIGN with how God sees me.
  • Each moment, good or bad, ugly or beautiful, relationships, friendships, family-ships, have shaped me and given me identity. However, is that my true identity? Ephesians 2:10. It certainly makes me unique as we should be.
  • If I am feeling severe depression, it’s okay to sleep most of the day, watch TV and tell others I don’t feel like talking. Do stay hydrated. Do eat/snack healthily. DO NOT JUDGE MYSELF for having a dark day.
  • Heal and release self sabotaging THOUGHTS so I CAN BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS!
  • Reach for my higher self. It will not always be easy.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: I Think About Giving Up, Sometimes

Today is that sometimes. We all feel like giving up or have felt like giving in the past. If we are honest, there are some things we did give up on and maybe even ourselves from time to time. If you have been following this blog you know I’ve had my issues with the church and religion and at times with God. Let me back up…

It was an extraordinary week as I was in classes in Jackson, Mississippi learning about God’s Pattern for Leadership and Strategic Planning: Analysis, Needs Assessments, Objectives and Goals. I like to learn. I had very little anxiety while I was there. I know it was because I had very little responsibilities. I didn’t have to cook. I didn’t have to clean. I didn’t have to worry much. I returned home Friday and Saturday evening I partied with my friend and her family at a 1990’s themed house party. If I had more photo space, I’d share the jeans I created. I had a ball. I danced all night and today I can barely move. It’s not just age, it’s Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia on top of that.

What I feel like giving up on today is church. It’s funny because I was so sure of my direction all week. Well, not really but, I am sure it involved the church. Make sure you understand I said nothing about giving up on God. I know I am feeling this because of the conversation I had with a particular individual and after finding out they lied and twisted a conversation we had. This person actually is a pastor I know very well.

This thing I am feeling is temporary. I just wanted to acknowledge that I feel like giving up and it’s not an indication that I will. I think it’s important to acknowledge a feeling and to sit with it. To explore it. To receive what it is telling you or teaching you or where it is leading you. I hope you know that it’s okay to FEEL like giving up sometimes and sometimes there are things we should give up but, never give up on yourself.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee w/God: When, Who, and How

Day 4 Excerpt

God knows WHEN, WHO, and HOW so I don’t have to worry about those things. It’s none of my business. I request. I give thanks when I think about the absence of things so the absence disappears. Therefore, the “thought” of absence disappears. It’s just an illusion anyway. When I think about when, who, how I remind myself that God, Infinite Intelligence, the Creator, the Universe, Yahweh, knows and I can be at peace.

~Nikki

Excerpts from my Coffee with God Time: I Don’t Fully Trust God

During my birthday month, March, I was led to spend 15 minutes of silence in the morning for 18 days. I could read or just listen or talk with God. I must say it was challenging the first few days because I didn’t know what exactly I was supposed to be doing or learning. I pray in the mornings when I wake up and give thanks. I now see this was more of a concentrated, intentional, consecrated time alone with God. It was meant to be a practice and habit forming. I poured coffee and sat there. I will share some of what I received.

It was brought to my attention on day 1 that I still have trust issues with God. I woke up that morning and I heard, “God cares about you.” So, I said it to myself, “God cares about me.” Say it 18 times for the next 18 days when you first wake up. This is when I got the rest of the instructions I mentioned above. I had my notebook of wisdom (this is where I jot down inspiration) and I sat in the chair by the window. This is what poured out:

“So many people think I don’t care about them but, I do. They blame me for the things they can’t control, things that happen to them. They blame me for things they can control. They blame me because they don’t understand life. There are ways to understand life that are simple.”

I wrote my response to this:

Sometimes when things happen to me or things don’t go the way I think they should, when I don’t have any help, the first thing that comes to my mind is, “No one cares about me.” I say this when I feel lonely, too. This “no one” includes God. I use to say God doesn’t care about me. I have had the thought that God doesn’t care and No one cares growing up into my young adulthood. I stopped saying that once I developed a relationship with God. However, when I presently think or say, “No one cares about me”, God is secretly included sometimes. As if God doesn’t know when I mean him/her, too. I knew this was why it was being presented to me. Although I don’t say it often, from time to time, I will say or think, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME.

But how can God love me and not care about me? God is telling me; I believe exactly that and that is contradiction. There’s no conflict in God. There are no conflicting thoughts, feelings, or emotions.

END OF EXCERPT

God cares about me. It really doesn’t matter what happened to me, what is happening, what will happen, God cares about me. It doesn’t matter what’s in my bank account, if my dreams come true, if the love of my life shows up, if I don’t have any help sometimes, God cares about me. Heartaches and heartbreaks, God cares about me. It didn’t go my way or I am in excruciating pain and I have no one to call on, God cares about me. I have gotten through every low moment in my life. God cares about me.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Cranky Pants

Several bad dreams and a nightmare last night kept me tossing and turning most of the night. I dreamed about being caught in some mass shooting with my daughter and that was the nightmare. I guess with all that is going on in the world and how I feel about it, this was unfortunately in my subconscious. As the night turned into morning, I had fewer terrifying dreams and more weird dreams I can’t recall.

My alarm went off and I physically just did not feel well. I decided to sleep another hour but then I got a phone call filled with confusion from my mother. I had to call my father back to figure out it was just her jumping the gun about something and trying to micromanage a situation that didn’t need her interference. Whoosah.

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning weather wise and I want to improve my mood so I can enjoy the rest of the morning and day. I am going to a symphony in the park this evening. I need, per my Spirit, caffeine free coffee, cool water, and quietness this morning to help me physically. So, here I am sipping coffee, lightly iced water, quietness, and sharing. I feel the need to choose my breakfast wisely. Very little sugar. The TV is off. I decided not to go to service and I decided not to listen to it right now via internet. I will listen to it tomorrow morning. I’ll probably do some yoga to help further ground my spirit and body.

As I sit here typing, I think about how the first 18 years of my life were probably ruled with loud and chaotic mornings. I say probably because I don’t know about when I was an infant up until 5 or 6 but I definitely recall school mornings from elementary until high school being that way and every Sunday morning. Loud, chaotic, and stressful. I know this is why I like to start my mornings with ease. It wasn’t until my 30’s I started changing the pattern of getting up a little early to savor peace and quiet before my daughter got up and before heading off to work. It is why I can’t stand rushing. It creates the rattled, unsettling feeling and makes for an even more hectic drive with traffic. When I arrive at my destination, I don’t like having to “get my mood together” or having to switch from negative energy to fake positive energy. I saw that growing up, too. Instead, I tell you “My ride here was stressful. Give me a minute to settle down.” Or if asked, “Why are you so quiet this morning? Why aren’t you smiling?” I tell the truth. “I need a minute to settle down/in. Rough morning or night.” I feel better being as honest as possible without telling my business. I feel better not having to pretend. Some people let their morning dictate their morning and entire day. I was some people and occasionally I am still some people lol. But it was Steven Covey CDs, “The 9 Habits of Highly Effective People”, that helped me to understand my mood doesn’t have to dictate my weather (day) or how I treat people.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: What Are You Teaching Me?

In a week where family has seemingly, unprecedently, worked my last nerve, I didn’t have to wonder what was wrong with them. I wondered “What are they trying to teach me? What am I supposed to learn from this behavior other than to NOT exhibit this type of behavior? What is this saying about me? What do you want me to do about these conflicts and conflicts of interests?”

And not to mention, I spilled tea (talked too much) to someone I KNOW my spirit was saying, “No. Not this one. This one doesn’t understand where you are coming from. This one is a narcist. No, not this one.” BUT…I just had to vent to someone that would listen.

Here’s my take on WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING ME?

  1. Listen to your spirit. If you vent to a person that doesn’t KNOW you, UNDERSTAND your heart, your ways, you will get NOTHING from it. You may get judgement. You will be misunderstood. It’s like apples venting to lemons. You get nothing.
  2. Be honest! But express it with modesty. Be gentle with those that admire you and respect you.
  3. Be fair and reject unfairness towards you BOLDLY. Be bold with those that HAD THE NERVE to try to get “over” on you. BOLD REJECTION. A BOLD NO THANK YOU.
  4. Remember who you are dealing with and deal with them accordingly. Were you expecting someone different? Why? They have NOT indicated to you (by actions) they have changed just because you have changed. You are growing and there are some around you that are NOT. They are stagnant. Everyone is NOT growing and they CHOOSE not to grow. The view of those that do not change stays the same. The view of those that grow changes.
  5. THESE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED FOR YOUR RESET. It hurts to not feel like family. It hurts to feel unappreciated. It’s lonely to be the one that tries to be fair and only to be treated unfairly and unjustly. It’s hard being an outsider with folks you are all inclusive with. Well, it’s time for a RESET. You can’t move forward with all of those things tugging at your garments. You can’t move forward with a chain around your ankle. Dragging these things around as you try to reach your destiny. RESET. I pray God RESETS your MINDSET. REARRANGES your THINKING about how people and how you allow people to treat you and affect your emotions. I pray you SEE them from the advantage point of GROWTH on your part.

“The view of those that do not change stays the same. The view of those that grow changes. You will not see eye to eye until their eyes are opened.” -Nicole Jackson

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Not the Easter I Planned

I had a busy day Friday and was exhausted by the night. I went to bed and when I woke up it was Saturday morning. I don’t recall waking up during the night and I usually do. I was refreshed and headed out to the stores. It was my intention to bake a cake and to bake my famous wings. Well, after I returned home around about noon, I started feeling bad. I noticed my face was having an outbreak of seborrheic dermatitis. My face begins to swell and then I begin to simply feel bad all over. Malaise is what this is called. A general feeling of discomfort, illness, etc.

Fibromyalgia kicked in and man, I felt like all of my energy was drained. I ended up just lounging around the house Saturday feeling bad. I went to bed Saturday night and tossed and turned ALL NIGHT LONG. I did not make it to Easter Service or Easter dinner with my family and I have never missed an Easter dinner. I did get up enough strength to bake my famous wings but, not to bake a cake.

Today I feel much better, my skin is clearing up and the swelling has gone down. My daughter is back safely at college and all is well. I hope you had a wonderful Easter and enjoyed your week. I intend to put the last two days behind me and move forward into a productive and fun filled week.

~Nikki