Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: What Are You Teaching Me?

In a week where family has seemingly, unprecedently, worked my last nerve, I didn’t have to wonder what was wrong with them. I wondered “What are they trying to teach me? What am I supposed to learn from this behavior other than to NOT exhibit this type of behavior? What is this saying about me? What do you want me to do about these conflicts and conflicts of interests?”

And not to mention, I spilled tea (talked too much) to someone I KNOW my spirit was saying, “No. Not this one. This one doesn’t understand where you are coming from. This one is a narcist. No, not this one.” BUT…I just had to vent to someone that would listen.

Here’s my take on WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING ME?

  1. Listen to your spirit. If you vent to a person that doesn’t KNOW you, UNDERSTAND your heart, your ways, you will get NOTHING from it. You may get judgement. You will be misunderstood. It’s like apples venting to lemons. You get nothing.
  2. Be honest! But express it with modesty. Be gentle with those that admire you and respect you.
  3. Be fair and reject unfairness towards you BOLDLY. Be bold with those that HAD THE NERVE to try to get “over” on you. BOLD REJECTION. A BOLD NO THANK YOU.
  4. Remember who you are dealing with and deal with them accordingly. Were you expecting someone different? Why? They have NOT indicated to you (by actions) they have changed just because you have changed. You are growing and there are some around you that are NOT. They are stagnant. Everyone is NOT growing and they CHOOSE not to grow. The view of those that do not change stays the same. The view of those that grow changes.
  5. THESE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED FOR YOUR RESET. It hurts to not feel like family. It hurts to feel unappreciated. It’s lonely to be the one that tries to be fair and only to be treated unfairly and unjustly. It’s hard being an outsider with folks you are all inclusive with. Well, it’s time for a RESET. You can’t move forward with all of those things tugging at your garments. You can’t move forward with a chain around your ankle. Dragging these things around as you try to reach your destiny. RESET. I pray God RESETS your MINDSET. REARRANGES your THINKING about how people and how you allow people to treat you and affect your emotions. I pray you SEE them from the advantage point of GROWTH on your part.

“The view of those that do not change stays the same. The view of those that grow changes. You will not see eye to eye until their eyes are opened.” -Nicole Jackson

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Not the Easter I Planned

I had a busy day Friday and was exhausted by the night. I went to bed and when I woke up it was Saturday morning. I don’t recall waking up during the night and I usually do. I was refreshed and headed out to the stores. It was my intention to bake a cake and to bake my famous wings. Well, after I returned home around about noon, I started feeling bad. I noticed my face was having an outbreak of seborrheic dermatitis. My face begins to swell and then I begin to simply feel bad all over. Malaise is what this is called. A general feeling of discomfort, illness, etc.

Fibromyalgia kicked in and man, I felt like all of my energy was drained. I ended up just lounging around the house Saturday feeling bad. I went to bed Saturday night and tossed and turned ALL NIGHT LONG. I did not make it to Easter Service or Easter dinner with my family and I have never missed an Easter dinner. I did get up enough strength to bake my famous wings but, not to bake a cake.

Today I feel much better, my skin is clearing up and the swelling has gone down. My daughter is back safely at college and all is well. I hope you had a wonderful Easter and enjoyed your week. I intend to put the last two days behind me and move forward into a productive and fun filled week.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: End Games

I’ve been learning how to appreciate and give thanks to endings. I have to remember I’m in the year of endings. Endings bring beginnings and your beginning can be an adaptation to loving and living, a lesson, a change, or something new.

This is another reason I was so chilled about what happened Saturday (Another guy stood me up!) I laughed about it because we really didn’t have a connection for it to matter. Oh, the dating world is crazy at times. I still enjoyed the event and met a new friend. But in this situation and in all situations, it helps to know the seasons of your life so you can govern yourself accordingly. I can ground myself by reminding myself what season I am in. I can understand what is happening even if I don’t understand the all of the why. It helps me to stay focused on my dreams, goals, and visions for my life.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: One Mic

Last week was a week for the books. I held my 4th Woman emPowered Up Conference online and according to the numbers, it was a flop. My speakers were top notch. The very last night no one showed up and it was my turn to speak. I recorded the talk and then my daughter came on as I was wrapping it up. The challenge wasn’t remaining satisfied with being obedient and going forth, I didn’t care about the numbers as if I needed numbers to validate me or the conference. If that is the case, then why was I so sadden? Why was I angry?

I didn’t even know I was angry until I did a heart chakra guided meditation and it spoke about being angry. This is when Spirit spoke to me and said you are angry. I knew I was sad but angry? Let me figure out why I was sad first and then I will figure out why I am angry. I continued to do meditation. I did yoga while listening to music for the heart chakra. As I was doing yoga, I got these messages:

  1. You are sad because you wanted people to receive the valuable information you had to give. You wanted more people to share your passion of wisdom and knowledge with. And for this you will be blessed.
  2. You are angry that your family and friends didn’t show up but, you should not be angry with them. You can’t always be there for them, remember? And they can’t always be there for you. Extend to them the same grace and mercy you extend to yourself. Give them the same understanding and compassion.

And so, I did.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Someone’s Life Long Suffering

I woke up at 1:27 this morning. I was fully refreshed because I fell asleep a few hours before my normal bedtime. I scrolled Facebook, and eventually got up to have a low carb breakfast because I was incredibly hungry. I figured after I go back to sleep and get up for the day, I would have coffee and cereal. Anyway, I was heading from the kitchen when I was suddenly struck by a painful memory of childhood.

Where did the thought come from? Well, I have recently been going through some things with my own young adult daughter and I guess I was reflecting on motherhood and how some of the things said and done to me affected my life. I am careful not to injure my daughter with deeds or words but, as I have been told by other parents, “Good luck with that.” No matter how hard you try to be the best or the perfect parent, not to do what was done to you, they will find something you didn’t do right and you will be made aware of it. Over and over. I have already been made aware. “Luckily” it wasn’t life alternating.

I think childhood injuries that take a toll on us mentally and emotionally have to be a constant of microaggression, aggression, abuse of any level, or some devastating trauma. But, even if it’s not childhood, it can be young adulthood and adulthood. I think about the things that happened to me in young adulthood and in adulthood that were done by someone to me. And I ask this question, not for you to answer. Not for you to feel bad about yourself but, for you to think about your words and actions. Have you been the cause of someone’s life long suffering?

I pondered how would one deal with that? Ask for forgiveness? What if you don’t get it? Then you have to forgive yourself and move on. Change? Yes. Please change. I don’t care how old you are. Change is ageless. You’re not a dog so you can learn new ways and habits.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Acceptance Speach

I can make things more complicated than it needs to be at times by doing things I really don’t want to do. I then become agitated and my mood is apparent to those around me. I should note, this is only around family events or outings with people that have big negative energy. I don’t want to be there because of the attitudes and difficult personalities that may be present. I think of going to a restaurant or concert as an enjoyable event. I look forward to good times but, some people can suck life out of that.

So, what do you do when you really don’t want to go but, it’s a nice gesture? You know it’s coming from a genuine place but you just don’t want to “deal” with the complaining. I didn’t handle the situation well at all! In retrospect, I realized I needed to learn how to not let the mood of others complaining and to enjoy the outing better. I thought maybe I can redirect the conversation to more positive things. Maybe, I can counter act a “Eww this is not good and this is not that and ugh what’s taking so long?” with “My vegetables taste delicious. The food will be hot and fresh when it comes out.”

I need to accept, and keep accepting that some things will never change and I need to be able to deal better in a certain environment. I’m making things worse by adding my attitude to the mix.

~Nikki

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.     
− Reinhold Niebuhr

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: An A for Effort

God speaks: Your efforts are blessed.

I’ve been called to 18 Days of Solitude and was given permission to share this: Your efforts were blessed and they are blessed. If you’re coming from or came from a place of TRULY good intentions, your efforts are blessed. If it failed, if it didn’t work, if it wasn’t received, your efforts that came from a place of truly good intentions are blessed.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A Call to Solitude

Photo by Ekrulila on Pexels.com

Coffee on the porch this morning before service. I’m being called to some form of solitude by God/Spirit. I have no idea what’s being taught or what I’m supposed to do. It’s unfolding. I’m researching. I’m asking for guidance. This is new and strange. I may as well embrace it because I’ve learned that resistance to a call only makes it harder. 18 days of solitude. God speaks to me with the Word, through others ordained/sanctioned to speak to me, wisdom that is everywhere, by spirit and Spirit, with dreams, visions, signs and numbers. Speaking of dreams… nah, I can’t share that one yet.

Have you ever been called to solitude? What did you do during those times alone?

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Grateful Through Obstacles

Just grateful. I don’t care what it looks like right now in my life, your life, it’s going to be what we said it would be. It’s going to be the choices we make and the actions we take. These impediments and obstacles are opportunities to grow and learn and to flex our creativity. I’m counting my blessings in the face of obstacles and I’m feeling grateful. Gratefulness produces more things, more blessings, more miracles, more manifestations to be grateful for.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A License to Lose

I almost gave myself a LICENSE TO LOSE this morning. Fight for your right to HOPE. Don’t give yourself a license to lose by:

Apathy (no hope)

Comparison (comparing yourself to others)

Whining and Complaining

SOS STUCK ON THE SAME STORY, telling yourself the same thing over and over

Trying to control and micromanage

Fighting to be RIGHT

Don’t give yourself a license to lose.

~Nikki

Inspired by Iyanla Vanzant